Disclaimers: None of them are mine and neither are the song lyrics, but I'm grateful for borrowing them
N.B. I’d just like to express my gratitude to the couple who were breaking up in the Richardson Pavilion a few weeks ago while I was on my smoke break…I really tried not to eavesdrop, but it was raining and I had no place else to go and the two of you were coming up with the best lines for a nasty fight…so, of course, I adapted them into this chapter. Sorry about the RL angst, but thanks so much for the great material!
He thought he had done it. After the severest form of mental discipline, he truly believed he had conquered the jealous demon raging within his bruised heart.
He was over her.
He was sure of it.
Or he had been sure—once he arrived at LAX and felt his stomach begin to cramp into tiny, tight knots, he began to doubt his façade of emotional distance—his pretended self-control.
With every step, every breath, ever second that passed by, he was coming closer.
The plane took off and he gripped the arm-rests of his seat until his knuckles turned white—but his reaction had nothing to do with any fear of flying.
Sam Seaborn was going home.
And home was definitely where his heart still lay.
********
Every breath you take,
And every move you make,
Every smile you fake,
Every step you take,
I’ll be watching you.
Oh, can’t you see?
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take.
Every single day,
And every single way,
Every game you play,
Every word you say,
I’ll be watching you.
********
If anyone had passed by her cubicle, they would have thought that Donna Moss was hard at work. Her eyes stared at the computer monitor in front of her, her right hand braced against the mouse, her mouth contorted into a tiny moue of concentration. She was an admirable government employee, an assistant who was nothing less than a class act: efficient, diligent, dedicated, her mind firmly focused on what was most pressing and important.
And what was most important to Donna at that very moment was musing over her recollections of the night before, when Josh was pressing their naked bodies together against the tiled walls of his shower.
She hadn’t wanted to admit it at the time, but shower sex was still a relatively new activity for her—and Josh Lyman’s fervent lovemaking could have qualified it as an Olympic sport. It was all about finesse—the way he swung her hair over to one side so he could nibble at her neck from behind—the light touches of his fingers over her stomach that turned into fevered possession when his hands massaged her tingling breasts—the feeling deep within herself that the world was about to implode—the warm invading presence of his hard length within her most secret self as her legs wrapped around him and her braced her against the slick tiles…
Unconsciously, she licked her lips at the delicious memory. Being with Josh made every dream she had ever had come true and turned every fantasy into a wondrous reality. If only one regret didn’t haunt her, she would easily have named herself the happiest of women.
A wistful look came over her face as she thought of all the pain Sam must have felt as their relationship broke apart. Her love for Josh had proven to be all-consuming, overpowering her feelings for Sam like a beautiful fragile wave crashing against a mountain of unshakable rock. She had been happy with Sam, comfortable, perhaps even on the verge of falling in love.
And it had all dashed to pieces the second Josh had looked at her with his emotions plainly written on his face. For the rest of her life, Donna would never be able to forget the way his eyes had glowed with an inner fire that warm afternoon in the Bartlet’s barn—that moment had altered her universe and she wouldn’t change it for anything.
But one of the things she desperately hoped for was a return to her solid, enjoyable friendship with Sam. She wished the same for Sam and Josh’s bond as well.
“But could we ever go back?” she muttered absent-mindedly, closing her eyes in thought.
“Go back and do what?”
“Josh! You startled me!”
He was leaning against the doorframe to his office, arms loosely crossed in front of him, cocky grin firmly in place.
“Well, maybe I meant to startle you,” he quipped affectionately. “You always get this look like I’ve pissed you off that’s just so CUTE!”
“I really do hate your living, breathing guts, you know. I really do.”
He sauntered over to her casually, enjoying the freedom of an empty bullpen and a new level of charged sexual banter. “Can I take that as a ‘yes’ to your being my date at the Inaugural Ball tonight?”
She looked up slowly to where he now hovered over her. The nearness of his body drove her senses—already alert from her daydreaming—into a fit of frenzy. There was the clean, fresh smell of his pressed shirt, the spice of male aftershave and that familiar, irreplaceable smell that was just…just Josh. Considering she was on eye-level with his crotch, Donna thought she could also detect the barest hint of a musky tang emanating from his nether regions—or perhaps it was just her overactive imagination kicking into high gear.
“So,” he said softly, his eyes roaming over her body, “what’s on tap for today?”
“Well, there’s a couple meetings on the Hill and then you’ve got that thing with Leo about the cabinet shuffle.” Her eyes tore away from his pants to skim at the calendar on her desk. “Then there’s more meetings fine-tuning the Inauguration agenda for tomorrow, you’re having dinner with your mother and…”
“The thing with Mom has changed a bit. Apparently the senior staff and any in-town relatives are going to the President’s private room over at the Occidental. And of course, you’re coming too and you can have as many rich, decadent desserts as you want…Donna? You with me here?”
Her hand was frozen on the calendar, poised over one note written in her usual illegible shorthand.
“Donna? What is it?”
She took a deep breath and met his worrying gaze. “Sam. I completely forgot, what with one thing and another going on this week. Sam flies homes today.”
Josh bent over to see her cramped writing for himself.
“Any idea when he gets in?”
“No clue,” she sighed. “But I should think he’d be there for dinner tonight.”
“Aha! So you WERE listening to me!” His eyes shone as she smiled back at him. “Get your stuff together by the time I get back. Once I’m done with Leo I want us to be home by four o’clock. After all, there’s a first time for everything.”
“Your place or mine?” she asked, standing up and sidling past him to grab his overcoat and scarf.
“Does it matter?”
Coming back, she cast a quick glance for prying eyes, leaned in and kissed him, managing to tie his scarf around his neck in the process.
“No,” she smiled, “it doesn’t.”
********
The Occidental prided itself on being the closest thing the White House had to a favourite local restaurant. Upstairs away from the din of its regular patrons was the Presidential Private Dining Room overlooking Pennsylvania Avenue.
Sam smiled to himself as he walked into the lobby and saw the portrait of President Bartlet decorating the wall. The last two Republican and Democratic presidents flanked either side of the portrait. Waving hello to Cindy at the maitre‘d’s podium he walked up the stairs, not entirely sure of the welcome he would receive.
He shouldn’t have worried. A chorus of “SAM!” met him as he walked through the door. The President was the first on his feet to shake Sam’s hand.
“Good to have you back, son,” he smiled, drawing Sam into a short but fierce bear hug. “Toby’s been saving you a place at the table.”
The room was full of familiar faces: Leo and Jordan, Mrs Bartlet and Zoey, Toby, CJ, Charlie, Josh…and there she was, sitting next to his best friend, waiting for her own turn to greet him.
“Sam,” she said softly, the warmth of her smile hitting her eyes. “I’m so glad you’re back.”
“I’m glad you’re glad,” he replied, leaning in to kiss her cheek. He could have sworn that a spark of rage flickered in Josh’s eyes for the briefest of moments while he invaded Donna’s personal space. But then Josh was smiling too, pulling him into a strong manly embrace. He clapped Josh on the back in return.
“Things are good?”
“Yeah,” Josh said, unable to keep his eyes away from a brief glance at Donna, “they’re great.”
“Good.”
Sam could instinctively tell that the connection between them had only grown stronger in his absence. The knowledge pierced a part of him like a burning flame; but then, he had known that seeing them together and in love would hurt. Steeling his face to hide any lingering resentment, he stepped around to the other side of the table and took a seat next to CJ.
“Welcome home, mi amor,” she whispered, grabbing his hand and squeezing it.
“Miss me?” Sam’s voice was full of boyish charm.
“Not in the slightest.”
Dinner was both relaxing and strained. It was wonderful to be back with the gang, listening to Toby grumble and hearing Charlie groan about the President’s search for an appropriate Bible for the swearing-in.
“This is a momentous occasion, Charlie. I want to place my hand on history in order to be a part of history. I want to find a bound volume of Scripture that means something—not just some spanking-new Gideon gift to the local Howard Johnson.”
“But, Sir,” Sam asked, “you do realise that the Inauguration is tomorrow?”
“Yes, Sam, I think I am somewhat aware of that.”
Charlie kicked Sam underneath the table. “Just let it go, man,” he griped quietly.
The banter was good for him—good for his soul; however, the knife still dug deeply whenever he looked across to where Josh and Donna sat close together. It wasn’t that they were making ghastly public displays of affection—it was just the opposite. The fact that neither of them needed to make an overt demonstration of their feelings because their emotions were so in synch, made the situation worse for Sam than if Josh had decided to start up a rousing game of tonsil hockey.
He had to say his piece.
And it had to be to her alone.
As the others rose from the table at the end of the meal, Sam leaned across to catch Donna’s eye.
“Can we go talk, just for a minute?”
She blinked once, trying to decide. He could tell from her face the exact moment she had made up her mind.
“Sure,” she answered lowly. “Just give me a minute.” Standing up, she took Josh’s hand and led him over to the window. Sam couldn’t hear what was being said, but he could guess. Donna kissed Josh quickly before letting go of her lover’s grip.
Sam felt his throat constrict at the sight and decided it was definitely time for some fresh air.
********
“I’ll be right back,” she promised, pressing her lips briefly against his.
“You better be,” he growled in return. His body was already quaking with arousal just from the touch of her hand on his and the lingering fragrance of her perfume. For her to kiss him just at that moment nearly put Josh over the moon. “I’ll be waiting for you in our room.”
“Our room?” she asked, smiling in surprise. “Why, Mr Lyman, whatever do you mean?”
“You know Mom’s crashing at mine tonight so she can be well rested for tomorrow, and I know that Peyton is back in town so your place is off-limits too. And because I am a fabulous, romantic, sexy genius, I got us a room at the Willard for tonight.”
“Oh Josh! You didn’t!” Thrilled to the core, she flung her arms around his neck as he pressed the key card against the back of her dress.
“It’s room 413. Hurry.”
“And why should I do that?” she asked coyly, taking the key and tucking it inside her purse.
“I’ll show you when you get there,” he promised, his voice dropping an octave lower from sheer desire.
Donna found Sam outside of the restaurant, sitting next to a rushing fountain.
“Sam!” she called warmly, walking up to him.
“Thanks for coming.”
“Of course I’d come,” she scoffed. “I haven’t seen you in weeks!”
“How are things?”
“They’re good, Sam. They’re really good.”
He nodded silently in assent, then stood up and brushed at the back of his pants. “I wish I could say your news delighted me.”
Donna immediately picked up on his hurt tone. “I thought you had dealt with this—why do you want to look back now?”
“Because I still don’t understand!” he snapped. “I fell for you and I ended up falling flat on my face.”
She took a deep breath before responding. “But we’re still friends, Sam, despite everything that’s happened. We’re friends and friends are for life.”
“Other things are for life too, Donna. Things like love and commitment and emotion. I’m not a selfish person,” he said, moving close enough now to gently take hold of her shoulders. “I’m not selfish—I like to think of myself as being selfless—but with you I want to be selfish.”
She spun around so that he couldn’t see her face, shocked by his boldness, but he kept talking, holding onto her shoulders with soft but determined fingers. “I still want you,” he breathed into her ear. The smell of her perfume was like a drug to his system, pushing him to say more. “We can fix this, you know we can. We’re not lost yet.”
“No, Sam! No!” She quickly moved out of his reach. “We can’t go back. I don’t want to go back! I love you as a dear, dear friend, you know I do. But it’s not the same way I love him. I love Josh…in so many ways, I feel I AM Josh. He’s everything to me, and I’m that way to him.”
Sam sneered at her declaration. “If that was true, then why did we work so well?”
She ignored the venom in his question, desperate to make him understand the way things were. “You called this yourself at the very beginning. You said on the first night we spent together that I was in love with him.”
“You said you weren’t anymore.”
“I didn’t know!” she cried. “I wasn’t sure! He was with Amy then.”
“And you were with me.”
“Stop it!” She paused, trying with all her might to stay calm and not turn and run away from the foreign, angry look in his eyes. “I didn’t mean for things to happen the way they did,” she said slowly. “I know it’s a cliché to say that, but it’s true. And I can’t go back in time and change the way Josh and I finally found each other. I wish it could have happened differently, without hurting you, but what’s done is done.”
“It’s not fair.” His voice was tired and petulant. “You opened the door to your life and let me walk through—and now I suddenly turn around to find you’ve slammed it shut in my face. You locked me out, Donna. You never even gave us a chance.”
She shook her head out of sheer frustration. “I denied him for years—years, Sam! I refuse to do that again. It would kill me to just swallow these feelings I’ve always had for Josh and walk away toward someone else. What you have to do—what you NEED to do is find a way to accept this. I’m happy. Josh and I are going to be together for a long, long time—hopefully for the rest of our lives. You should try to find your own happiness too.”
“You made me happy.” He waited until he could see the whites of her eyes before saying anything else. “It’s all been a waste, hasn’t it? And you know what? I want the time back.”
Donna sighed deeply; it was pointless to continue. “I can’t talk to you when you’re being like this.”
“You made me this way. Don’t try to squirm your way out of your own responsibility like that.”
“Sam, don’t do this.” Her voice softened as she pleaded with him. “Just don’t. I thought we left things before on good terms.”
“We did. But it can’t be good when I’m this close t you.”
He made a move to reach for her again, but she skirted out of the way. She had had enough.
“If being around me is the problem,” she snapped, her anger finally taking over, “then I’ll do you a favour. Goodnight!”
Turning sharply on her heel she walked away, across the courtyard to the large, impressive doors of the Willard Hotel.
“Donna!” He called out only once, for which she was grateful. She didn’t want to have to bolt if he followed her.
It was only when the elevator doors closed that Donna finally let her guard down. She slumped against the wall, exhausted beyond belief.
********
Josh was on his feet and running from the first faint tap at the door. His initial reaction upon seeing Donna—her eyes red-rimmed from crying, her cheeks still wet with tears, her head hung low in tired defeat—was to run out and pound the living shit out of Sam Seaborn. It was only the timely reminder that all he had on were silk boxers that made him stay where he was.
“What happened?” he asked, enfolding the shaky Donna into his arms. “Or do I even need to ask?”
“He wants me back,” she choked out. Her head felt heavy on his bare chest and he held her tighter to ease the pain.
“Well, he damn well can’t have you. What’s his problem anyway?” Josh asked, clearly frustrated, as he led Donna to sit down on the plush four-poster bed. “I thought this was all behind us.”
“So did I.”
“Do you want me to go and pound him? Cause I’ll do it…you know I will.”
Donna giggled in spite of herself. “I wouldn’t like to take odds on who would win that one.”
He pulled back, playing up his wounded ego. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean? I could take him…I could take anybody!”
She sighed and snuggled in tighter against him, kissing at the light dusting of hair on his chest. “I don’t need you going and beating up anybody for me at recess,” she whispered. Her warm breath flowed against a sensitive nipple, causing it to rise. She blew on it softly again, loving the physical reactions she could cause in him.
Josh groaned as her tongue darted out to moisten the distended nub. “Come here,” he growled, pulling her up against him as he scooted back to lean on the headboard.
“I’m just so tired,” she sighed, pillowing her head in the crook of his shoulder. Her fingers traced along his side, then circled his navel before resting on his opposite hip. Her touch made him ache, but some inner sense—which he usually ignored—said that now wasn’t the time for such things…at least, not yet.
Wrapping his arms around her, Josh dropped a kiss on the crown of her head and brushed his hand over her face, gently shutting her eyes. “Just rest for now. I’ll wake you if anything important comes up.”
Her hand snaked down to cup his hardness through the tantalizing silk of his boxers, making him whimper. “I’m sure you will,” she smiled lazily. Pulling him as tight against her as possible, she began to relax and recover from the evening’s confrontation.
Josh stayed awake, just watching her sleep in his arms.
Outside, it began to snow in the soft winter night.
********
When Donna opened her eyes, the room was in darkness. Josh’s steady breathing fluttered tendrils of her hair and she wondered how long she had been asleep. Whatever the duration, she certainly felt more at ease now, more refreshed. The argument with Sam had taken a lot out of her, but she’d be damned if it was going to ruin the wonderful evening Josh had planned.
She eased out of Josh’s hold and made her way to the bathroom, needing to splash some water on her face if nothing else. Stripping down to her panties and lacy bra, she opened the door to find Josh lounging in front of it, waiting for her to come out.
“I thought you were asleep.”
“I know you were,” he drawled lazily.
“Well, I’m awake now.”
“Mmm hmm.” He began to advance on her slowly, like a beast stalking out its prey—her blood began to tingle and race through her veins. Even though it was dark, she could see the dimples digging sexy grooves into his cheeks and she knew instinctively that his eyes were dilating with desire. Hers were too.
“I wonder what the best way to wake you up would be?”
Smiling at the innuendo in his question, she slid the straps of her bra down her shoulders. “I can think of a million things.”
“So can I.” The pitch of his voice dropped down to a husky baritone—just that was enough to make her sex pulse in anticipation. Unconsciously, she moaned, desperate for him to begin to touch her. She needed him—needed to feel their love washing over her, the way it did whenever he was around her, but even more so when he loved her with his body.
“Touch me,” she whispered, her eyes half closed.
He said nothing in response, but moved to close the gap of space between them. His hands ran up the sides of her body, caressing with a light touch that grew firmer as his own instincts took over.
With a deft snap, her bra fell to the floor.
She opened one eye, taking size of him. “You’ve been practicing that, haven’t you?”
“Gentlemen never tell,” he murmured against her lush breasts before taking a pouting nipple into his warm, damp mouth.
The sensations radiated out from her breast, skimming throughout her body until she could feel her toes begin to curl. It was like flying in a way, that sense of leaving her body and climbing the heights of a greater passion. Her breath began to come in short gasps and her knees turned weak as water as Josh laved one responsive nipple, then the other. His hand reached down to play in the nest of curls at the junction of her thighs, releasing a hazy scent of sex in the room.
Donna threaded her fingers through the craziness of his hair, holding him close to her body as he deftly plucked the strings of her arousal. With a pleasing grunt, he pushed her against the vanity and dropped to his knees. Her panties were torn away from her body with a satisfying rip. Josh paused to look at the piece of blue lace he now had in his hand and grinned, looking like a pirate who had just found buried treasure.
It took every effort of her enraptured body to form the one word that could tear him away from his panty reverie. “Please,” she sighed, her head falling back to rest on the mirror behind her.
Tossing the torn panties haphazardly over his shoulder, Josh continued to smile and moved in for the kill. His hands pressed her thighs apart while kissing dizzying patterns around her knees, tickling with an agile tongue. But now was not the time for slow, careful loving—she needed him now, hard, hot and heavy, throbbing deep within her very core. Her wanting whimpers echoed around the room as he skipped over the pleasantries and buried his face in her tingling wetness.
Donna thought she might die. If the way she was feeling now was not the ultimate point of bliss, she didn’t think she could handle the real thing. Her body quaked and her soul sang as Josh loved her with his mouth, leaving her gasping in throes of ecstasy on the vanity counter. It was an extremely pleasant discovery to find that her spinal column had been removed at some point in the encounter—her limbs were like jelly as Josh arose from between her splayed legs to grin at her own idiotically happy face.
He kissed her softly, gently stroking her face with an idle hand before saying anything. “So, do you think we are awake now?”
“I’m awake, but I don’t think I can move for…oh…the next hour at least.”
“Nope, sorry. Wrong answer.”
With Donna screeching in his ear, Josh swooped her up into his arms, ignoring her flailing limbs and carried his love to the wide four-poster bed. Setting her down gently, he flung back the covers and then sank down with her into the soft, smooth sheets. One look at his rigid erection told her that play time was far from over.
She ran her fingers all over his broad chest, loving the complex feel of him. Overwhelmed by the need to keep touching him, she continued her intimate survey of his body, kiss here, stroking there, loving him in thought, word and deed.
“I can’t keep my hands off you,” she drawled, caught half way between a giggle and a sigh.
“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”
She stopped her perusal, hovering over his boxers. They both knew she was only a hairsbreadth away from pulling them off him. Donna raised an eyebrow. “Are you complaining?”
“No, no, no,” he replied quickly. “But, I’ve always thought that line was something the man said to the woman.”
“So I’m a man now?”
“Of course you’re not a man,” he scoffed. “I wouldn’t be here doing this if you were a man.”
It was too tempting to keep twisting his words. “Are you saying homosexuality is a sin?”
“Hey! I’m a Democrat! I think that government has no business in the bedrooms of the nation. It’s just that what you said before was a very…” He stopped, mulling over his words. “Well, no, wait. It was actually a VERY Donna thing for you to say.”
She laughed. “I have my own lexicon now?”
His pained expression made her lean in for a very chaste kiss before pulling back and toying with the band of his boxers. “You’re killing me here,” he whined, “you know that. It was just…it was just…”
“Josh,” she interrupted.
“Yes?”
“Shut up.”
“Okay.”
He stopped talking but they both knew the silence wouldn’t last. Having had to confine their feelings to looks and small gestures for so long, talking and verbalizing what they were thinking had become an essential part of making love. And even with 760 verbal skills, Josh knew he would be hard pressed to ever find enough words for what he thought when Donna was naked beneath, on top or beside him. When the words ran out, he still had the power to show her exactly how he felt.
********
The Inauguration was a smash success, not that anyone had truly believed things would go awry. And now, at one of the eight balls going on that night, Donna held her head high as Josh waltzed her around the floor. It seemed the most people were drunk on champagne and happiness—the President and Dr Bartlet were like an Emperor and Empress enjoying the affection of their friends, and perhaps even a few of their foes. CJ and Charlie were caught up half-dancing, half-trying to trip each other, while Toby and Will Bailey nursed strong drinks at one of the many softly-lit tables.
Her favourite moment of the night so far had been when Josh arrived at her apartment to pick her up. Already well aware that the buzzer was on the fritz, he had launched snowballs at her window, laughing unabashedly as one throw nearly nailed her. But it was when she got downstairs and stood before him, her blond locks curled, her svelte form sheathed in a navy blue velvet formal, that her heart skipped many beats.
“You look…amazing.” Josh’s words had been worshipful, and the look in his eye a mixture of love and the strong desire to peel the clothes straight off her lithe body and make love to her then and there, despite the snow-banks surrounding them.
Taken with the texture of her dress, he insisted she sit in his lap on the limo ride, despite having the stretch to themselves. Donna couldn’t help herself once she felt the hard iron of his erect cock against the softness of her bottom, and began to torture him with rolling hips, licentious looks over her shoulder and wandering hands. By the time they had arrived at the ball, both were slightly dishevelled and doing their best to tamp down the baser instincts that had ruled their actions during the ride over.
Now, gliding in circles in her lover’s close embrace, Donna felt complete and at peace. When Josh held her this way, she could do anything. As the music changed to the sultry strains of Etta James, he exchanged the sweeping movements of a waltz for the sensuousness of a slow dance.
At last,
My love has come along
My lonely days are over,
And life is like a song…
“Josh?”
“Yes?” His breathy whisper made the skin on her neck tingle with shivers.
Donna leaned back and smiled at him, loving the dark depths of his chocolate brown eyes and the feel of his hand splayed between her shoulder blades. “Nothing,” she sighed happily.
At last,
The skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clover
The night I first looked at you.
“Donna?”
“Yes?” Her fingers tangled themselves up in the curls at the back of his head.
I found a dream that I could speak to,
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to press my cheek to,
A thrill that I have never known…
He leaned his forehead against hers, getting lost in the blue of her sparkling eyes. He’d thought the words out for so long—even from the time when they were just friends and his mind would wander on a sunny afternoon to what he would say if she was his—and now he found himself unable to speak. His throat felt tight. He felt warm all over; no doubt his palms were already sweaty.
“Josh? What is it?”
“Donna. You…you know I love you, right?”
She smiled, kissing him lightly as a response.
Oh, you smile, you smile
And then the spell was cast…
“I mean, I really love you. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I don’t want to. And I figured if I wanted to make this a big moment that you’d never forget, tonight was definitely the night.”
Donna shook her head quizzically, her smile still in place but now looking somewhat baffled too. “Josh, what are you trying to say?”
He leaned in again and his dimples appeared, making him look even more irresistible to a room full of women already appreciating the Josh-Lyman-Tuxedo effect.
“Marry me.”
Time dissolved into a collection of varied sensations: the intoxicating musky smell of Josh’s cologne, the feel of the plush velvet across her breasts, the soft grip of Josh’s left hand on her fingers, the overwhelming urge to reach up and tuck her hair behind her ears, the smell of champagne and wax floor-cleaner in the ballroom, the tiny blister that was forming on the side of her baby toe.
And then all sensations rushed together to focus on the third finger of her left hand…a finger which Josh had unerringly lifted to his mouth. He pressed a kiss between her second and third knuckle, the tip of his tongue faintly grazing the spot where a ring would traditionally rest. That one tickling touch of his mouth made the blood roar in her ears. Her breath came in short gasps as the quickening pulse of desire settled a throbbing beat between her legs.
“Donna?” She came back to herself and looked at Josh’s face, which was now furrowed in confusion. “Did you hear me? I asked you to marry me.”
The ringing in her ears stopped as suddenly as it had began and in the silence that followed, his proposal bandied about inside her mind.
“Donna? D—mmmph…”
Josh Lyman couldn’t speak, because Donnatella Moss had just stolen his breath with the most passionate kiss of his life.
And here we are, together,
For you are mine at last.
********
Sam watched the loving exchange between Josh and Donna from his position at the other end of the dance floor. He broke off his slow dance with Zoey, happily handing her over to Charlie’s amorous attentions, and headed to the bar for a drink.
He felt sick. Not with Josh or Donna, not with their tender love scene moments before, but with himself.
Who had he thought he was, trying to break up a bond like theirs?
For years he had been happy for them, although increasingly frustrated at their continual denial to admit they had feelings for each other. Then, within a matter of months, he had run the gamut of emotions, thinking himself in love, filling himself with hatred, falsely believing in his own sense of inner peace, thinking he was numb to betrayal, and finally feeling the taunting power of green-eyed jealousy.
Enough was enough. It was time, far past time, that he really made an effort to move on—Donna’s words from the night before echoed in his mind: friends were for a lifetime.
He cringed outwardly, remembering his moments of insane envy from the night before. What had he said to her? He had been acting like a selfish, spoilt child. God, how much Donna must loathe him now…and if Josh knew that he’d treated her that way, Sam didn’t think it would take him too long to clock him again before the night was over.
He had to make amends—not just run away with his tail between his legs to the other side of the country, but really show two of the closest people in his life that he was himself again. And if it meant he had to resurrect his reputation as the Lord of Velveeta, so be it.
********
It was a little after midnight when the First Family and the senior staff left the final ballroom and made their way to the White House Residence. The President and Dr Bartlet had been adamant that the partying continue, but this time in a much more private and meaningful setting.
“Just don’t start any fires in anything that even maybe looks like a fireplace,” the President warned the group. His eyes rested on Josh and Sam in particular as he wagged his finger condemningly. “Don’t start any fires period. Because if I have to go up on the Truman balcony again in my pyjamas, you can all bet your ass that there’s going to be some senior staff streaking on the front lawn by morning.”
They all made a happy group, even though there was a slight strain between some of the party-goers and the former Deputy Communications Director.
Donna was surprised, however, when Josh furtively pulled her away from the rest of the group before they made it to the residence. He held her hand tightly as he wound his way through the dimly lit halls of the West Wing.
As he closed his office door behind them, they were enveloped in darkness, with only the faintest bit of light seeping in between the blinds and the window sill.
“Close your eyes,” he whispered.
“But, Josh, it’s already pitch black in here!”
“Just close your eyes,” he repeated. She could tell from the low timbre of his voice that something delicious was about to happen.
With her sight hindered, her other senses grew more acute. She could hear Josh scuffling around the room, opening drawers in his desk and closing them. There was a familiar scraping noise that made Donna think of styrofoam opening.
When Josh finally came to a halt in front of her, her body naturally gravitated toward his, seeking his solid frame. Her breasts, already feeling achy and sensitive to the slightest movement of her formal gown, pressed up against his broad chest as his mouth covered hers. He tasted like champagne and mint and Josh; it was the latter that was her favourite flavour.
He pulled away, checking that her eyes were still closed. A flash of soft light flared before her and she felt Josh take her hand.
“Open your eyes, Donna.”
Sitting on the desk before her was a gorgeous piece of chocolate cheesecake, with a small candle burning next to it. But it was the small velvet box also lit by the flickering flame that stole her breath away.
“Josh—”
He knelt on one knee at her side. “I know you already said yes once tonight, but I wanted to do this properly.” He smiled up at her and his adored face blurred from the tears swimming in her eyes. Picking up the velvet box with his free hand, he creaked it open before whispering for her ears alone. “Marry me?”
She nodded, her tears gushing forth as a smile broke out on her face. Josh brought her left hand up to his mouth and then, in the most sensuous gesture, took her ring finger into his mouth, wetting it so his ring would slide on smoothly. It wasn’t until the ring was snugly between her second and third knuckle that she actually took the time to look at it.
A deep blue sapphire winked up at her, surrounded by diamond brilliants. “Josh,” she gasped, “this must have cost a fortune!”
“Don’t worry, I used Toby’s credit card.”
“Idiot,” she dubbed him sweetly. Taking advantage of his current position, she also took the time to swat him on the back of the head.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“Because you’re mine.”
“Careful,” he warned, standing up and pulling her against him. “Don’t make me smear that piece of cake all over your beautiful face.”
“Is it from the Occidental?” she asked, unable to stifle a few giggles.
“Of course.”
“Then I think there’s a much better thing to do with it.”
“Oh really, Miss Moss? Care to fill me in?” Licking his thumb and index finger, he snuffed out the candle.
When the twosome finally made their entrance at the party in the Residence, Toby was the first to roll his eyes and beg them to wipe the damn chocolate off their faces.
********
It was already going on to three o’clock in the morning, but no one at the party had flagged yet. Dr Bartlet and Zoey had both noticed Donna’s engagement ring at the same time and flew to her side to examine every bit of it.
“A sapphire, Josh?” the First Lady teased.
“I thought it went best with her eyes.”
“Good answer.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
The President hurried over also, opening his arms to embrace his protégé who had finally gotten his head out of his ass. “Josh Lyman, you old so and so! My deepest congratulations.”
Josh smiled warmly. “Thank you, sir. I waited as I long as I could, not wanting to mess up the re-election and all—”
“I think it’s marvellous! Donna, you’re a miracle worker!” He then lead Josh over to the whisky cabinet, prying for details. Josh, still walking on his personal cloud nine, only caught snippets of the conversation, but the words ‘June wedding’ and ‘the Rose Garden, of course’ did manage to penetrate his happy fog.
Looking back over at his fiancée, he was suffused with warmth; but, that feeling seeped out of him as he saw Sam cross the room and move so that he could talk to Donna, alone.
“Donna?”
She looked up, schooling her face to remain smiling—what she really wanted to do was bop Sam Seaborn over the head. It would be a pre-emptive measure, because the last thing she wanted was for him to ruin tonight for her and Josh by causing another melodramatic brew ha-ha.
But the smile that met hers was nothing but sincere—the beneficent warmth of it lit up his eyes in a way she hadn’t seen for months. “You look beautiful tonight.”
“Sam…” Her voice had a definite note of warning in it.
“Donna, I didn’t come over here to bother you, or to repeat any of my…my comments from last night. I’m so tremendously sorry for the way I behaved. It was jealousy, pure and simple.”
“It seemed more complicated than simple to me.”
“Touche.” He gently took her hand in his and raised it slightly to get a good look at the sapphire-diamond ring. “This is exquisite. Josh made a perfect choice.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you,” he continued. His eyes were burning now from the sincerity of his emotions. “Ever since that first night we spent together, I knew that you loved Josh. You were perfectly right to call me on it last night. He didn’t own you, but I’d be a fool to deny that he didn’t have a prior claim. He has always loved you, ever since the first campaign.”
“Sam, I understand what you’re trying to say.” The trepidation left her voice. “You don’t need to feel you have to say anything more.”
“Just let me say this. I’ll always care about you, Donna, and I’d be lying to myself if I thought it would be only out of friendship. But I don’t want to lose you—or Josh—as friends. I know I said it before and then changed my mind, but this,” he said, tightening his grip around her engagement ring, “this seals it. You told me last night that you were happy, and I thank God for that. So be happy, Donna, and I’ll always be here if you ever need me.”
“Oh, Sam!” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders in an endearing hug, hoping beyond hope that his words were as honest as they appeared to be.
It was only when he tensed under her embrace that she pulled away and followed his gaze to where Josh walked towards them. Donna grimaced, bracing herself for a fight.
But when she opened her eyes, her jaw dropped open too: Sam and Josh were clapping each other on the back in the traditional ‘pat’ that accompanied manly hugs.
“Be good to her,” Sam said, smiling into his best friend’s face.
“Only if she brings me coffee!” Josh snarked. And then all three of them broke out into gales of laughter.
It was nearly time for Annie Bartlet Graham to go to bed. She had only been allowed to stay up this late after her grandfather had issued an unofficial Presidential Order overriding her mother’s druthers. The party had expanded into a celebration of the Inauguration and an unofficial engagement bash for Josh and Donna. Annie was thrilled for Josh and Donna—ever since she had first met them, she thought they were the perfect couple. She liked to think it was her plan to put Josh in the dunk tank at her birthday party that had brought them together.
Obviously, she didn’t know how right she was.
Still, she had the urge to do one more matchmaking thing for them before she went off to bed.
“Sam?” she asked, grabbing his hand and bringing him over to the CD player. “I want to play Josh and Donna a slow song. Something really romantic.”
“Good idea,” he agreed, pouring over the disks lined up in the wall cabinet. “What do you think they would like?”
“Oooo!” she squealed, grabbing her choice quickly. While she fiddled about with the CD player, Sam raised his voice.
“I’ve got an announcement to make! Annie here thinks that we should have one last dance before calling it a night, and I quite agree with her. Toby, stop rolling your eyes. And, of course, we want the newly affianced couple to take the spotlight…Josh, Donna, get ready.”
Annie pressed play and cranked up the sound—but as soon as Sam heard the first haunting strains of Whitney Houston’s voice, he had to press stop.
“Sam, what are you doing?” she whined, aghast that he had cut off the music.
“You can’t honestly think that we’re going to play this version, do you? Annie, have I taught you nothing in all the years we’ve spent together? Never go for second-best—you’ve got to go with the original. The real thing is always better.” Sam blinked slowly as his own words resounded inside of him. Quickly grabbing the “Women and Song: Beginnings” double-CD, he popped one disk out and put in the other.
“Sam!” Josh yelled from his place in the middle of the room. “We’re waiting here!” Looking over his shoulder, Sam had to admit that Josh and Donna did look a little goofy, holding each other close with no music to sway to. He caught Donna’s eye just as the music began to swell and the voice of a young Dolly Parton echoed throughout the room.
If I should stay
I would only be in your way
So I’ll go, but I know
I’ll think of you every step of the way.
And I will always love you,
And I will always love you.
Bittersweet memories,
That is all I’m taking with me
Good-bye, ah please, don’t cry
Cause I’m not what you—you need.
But I will always love you
I will always love you.
Sam held eye contact with Donna for a short second that felt like a million years. The words of the song were saying everything he felt—everything he was sorry for—everything he was happy about—everything she had once meant to him. Then he blinked and looked away, full of mixed emotions.
Josh and Donna were the only pair dancing. Everyone else had formed a semi-circle around them, not speaking, not moving, just watching the dance unfold. Josh bent and murmured something in Donna’s ear, making her smile and then lay her head on his shoulder. To say they were in love and happy was one of the biggest understatements in Washington.
And I hope life will treat you kind
And I hope you have all you ever dreamed of.
Oh, I do wish you joy, and I wish you happiness,
But above all this, I wish you love
I love you,
I will always love you.
Sam felt the warm touch on his shoulder before the voice whispered in his ear. “Hello, Sam.” The accent was not twangy, but deeply Southern.
He turned, disbelief plainly written on his face. “Ainsley? Ainsley Hayes? What are you doing here? I thought you were in Miami.”
“I was, but I’m moving yet again.” Sam took a moment before responding so he could look at her. She was radiant, of course, in a tight black sheath of a dress that would have made an entire kennel of dogs break their chains. Aware that he was staring at her, he shook his head, trying to get back into the conversation.
“Moving? Where to?”
“There’s this little firm I’m going to in California. Seems that Orange County never can have enough Republican lawyers running around.”
“Orange County?”
She smiled. “Mmm hmmm.”
It was like a piece of a massive jigsaw puzzle fell into place, leaving a subtle ‘click’ ringing in Sam’s ears. “Looks like I’m going to be there too…for a while, at least.”
“Why, fancy that!” Ainsley teased. “I don’t suppose a Democrat like you would be interested in taking a sweet Carolina girl out for dinner, and maybe showing her around town.”
He smiled easily for the first time in far too long. “I think I might be able to manage that.”
“Lovely.”
Sam took one last look at Josh and Donna before following Ainsley out of the Residence. They only had eyes for each other as they swayed around the room. That simple sight was enough to make anyone believe in wondrous possibilities.
As Sam walked out of the White House, he had the feeling that the night had been both a new beginning and a happy ending.
I, I will always, always love you
Will always love you, you
I will always love you.
FINIS