This is not cheating. It’s not. This is not cheating.
Donna paced back and forth on the landing at the top of the stairs. Josh’s
apartment was two stories above. She hadn’t stopped her car in its flight from Lake
Fairfax until she had driven down his street and seen the lights on in the window upstairs.
He was home. He was here.
Never before had she ever felt so much adrenaline coursing through her veins.
But, for some small, niggling reason she didn’t feel she had the right to press the buzzer
and go inside.
This is not cheating, she thought again for the umpteenth time. This is not
cheating! I’m just going to go up there and… She stopped pacing for a moment and
paused, rolling her eyes at her stupidity.
“Damn!” she muttered under her breath. “What were you going to do up there,
Donna? Throw yourself at him? Beg his forgiveness for ever doubting he wanted me?
Tell him he’s an assholic idiot for not realising things sooner? He’d probably just start a
fight, yelling that I could have upped the ante between us at anytime myself.”
She hung her head, feeling tremendously weighted down by the desperation of
their predicament, and her own desperate desire to see his face just once more before
going back to her own apartment, alone.
“What am I doing here?” she asked, shaking her head. “And, even more
disturbing, why am I talking to myself out loud?”
“I was just about to ask the same question.”
Donna screeched and jumped away from the voice behind her. “Josh!”
“The one and only!” He winked at her, his dimples on full display. With her
mouth open in shock, she slowly took in his appearance. He was barefoot, leaning
against the door-frame to his building in grey track pants and a white t-shirt with
HARVARD spelled out across it in red letters. His arms were crossed jauntily over his
chest, emphasising his toned biceps. Donna’s eyes lingered for a moment just below the
elastic waist of his track pants before zooming up to look at his face. His eyes showed
that he hadn’t expected her, but there was no doubt in either of their minds that he was
glad she had finally arrived.
“What…who do you…wha--” she sputtered, trying to maintain control of her
erratic emotions.
“If you’re asking me what I’m doing here, I should point out the small detail that I
live here and that this is my front stoop.”
“I know that!” she huffed. Her face was beginning to flush with embarrassment.
“I just felt that—well, it’s just—you see…” Her voice trailed off as Josh continued to
devour her with his eyes. “I started driving and I ended up here.”
“I’m glad you’re here,” he said in a low tone.
“Really?”
He nodded, his eyes never leaving her face. “You went off with Sam, didn’t
you?” His spoke calmly, but Donna thought that the merriment in his eyes was eclipsed
slowly by something far more serious and smouldering.
“How did you know?” she asked slowly.
Josh shrugged. “I know you—and I know Sam. And that roommate of yours is a
bit of a blab.”
If Donna had been shocked before, now she was outraged, and stamped her foot
to prove it. “Peyton? Peyton told you where I was? God, I told her to cover for me!”
Josh tried to hide his smile. “Yeah, well,” he added, “I told her we were dealing
with a national emergency and she fell for it.”
Donna unconsciously moved closer to him, shaking her head in disbelief. “You
never say when a call is that important,” she whispered.
“I know.”
For seconds that lasted an eternity, time froze and left the two of them standing
only inches apart, gazing at each other without moving, without even breathing.
Donna’s breath caught in her throat as she realised that in just a few seconds Josh
would be kissing her again. For the first time she truly realised how much she had
missed the taste of his mouth, the touch of his tongue against hers, the heat from his body
when it razed her skin wherever he touched her.
Just as his body began to lean in, closing out the final few inches between them,
she took a step backwards and began to speak.
“I had to go, Josh,” she said quickly, her breath forming a thin cloud in the cool
night air. “I had to see how I would feel with Sam, what it would be like, after—you
know…”
“After all the confusion?” he suggested, his face impassive.
“No,” she replied, shaking her head. “No. After being so close to being with
you.”
When the silence descended between them this time, it had a definite pleasurable
quality to it. Josh’s intense brown eyes ravished Donna without ever lifting a hand to
touch her—and with every increasing second, Donna felt her breasts grow more sensitive,
their tips harden with a sharp quickness, her snatch growing moist and wet from achingly
itching for his teasing touch and thrust.
Josh broke the moment of ardent tension first.
“I think you had better come inside now,” he said.
“I don’t know,” Donna replied, biting her lip. Her fear overwhelmed her passion,
knowing that once she crossed this real threshold before her, there would be no turning
back.
“What is there to know? I’m standing here barefoot, it’s getting extremely cold
and it’s warmer for you with me—I mean, inside—there—inside there with me.”
Donna took a step closer and, as if knowing what she wanted without needing
anything more than a flickering thought, Josh reached up to cup her cheek in the warm
palm of his hand.
“I’m still a little lost,” she admitted tentatively. Out of an automatic reflex to the
loving touch, she turned her face into his caress. His hand softly rubbed against her
smooth skin, reassuring most of her lingering doubts.
“Well,” he replied, his dimples digging into his smile once more, “not to sound
horribly cheesy or anything, but maybe—just maybe, I’m the one to find you.”
Nodding with her eyes closed, Donna chased after his touch and followed him
inside.
********
**I touch you once
I touch you twice
I won’t let go at any price
I need you now, like I need you then
You always said we’d still be friends
Someday…
Seven years went under the bridge
Like time was standing still
Heaven knows what happens now
You’ve got to, you’ve got to say you will…**
********
Even as he led her up the stairs to the second floor and the door to his apartment,
Donna couldn’t quite believe what was happening. After all this time, all these years of
knowing one another inside and out—and yet never in that most important of ways—
after all the grief and laughter and anguish and wonder, now was their time.
As she tread the familiar stairs to the second floor landing, Donna had a pang of
regret about Sam. Although Josh held her hand tightly as he led her up the stairs, for
those few brief moments that spanned the distance between walking in from the chill
night air to the luxurious warmth of Josh’s apartment, she wondered where Sam was, if
he had come back from the woods, and if he ever would or ever could understand the
struggle she had faced deciding between her two lovers. Except that she and Josh had
never been lovers—not yet, anyway. At least, not in the technical sense. It hadn’t been
an easy choice, it hadn’t been a choice she had wanted to make so abruptly. But lying in
Sam’s arms for those scant moments in the cabin, Donna had realised, perhaps truly for
the first time, that the absolute connection she had with Josh was impossible to fight
against.
Someday Sam might understand. With any luck he already knew how hard the
decision had been for her—how it was only this undeniable truth and unassailable feeling
that had existed between herself and Joshua Lyman, since their first few minutes together
at the Nashua campaign office, that had been the ultimate factor in deciding her fate.
Still, she was nervous. And it showed.
She was almost shaking with fear and anticipation and guilt when Josh moved
away from her and walked over to his coffee table. When he returned, he held a rose in
his hand—Donna recognised it as one of the ones Dr Bartlet had handed out to all the
West Wing staff after their oh-so-satisfying victory the night before.
“I wanted to do this properly,” Josh said, somewhat bashfully.
Donna couldn’t quite smile back, still plagued with doubts. “I didn’t know there
was a proper way to do this.”
That comment threw Josh off his game plan a bit. He stopped in his tracks, still a
few feet away from her. “Donna, am I wrong here? Don’t you want this—want me—
want us? Isn’t that why you came here tonight?”
Somehow his words were like waving a red flag in front of a bull—and nothing
could stop Donna from smashing everything in the china shop. The guilt of all she had
gone through sudden overwhelmed her in a frenzied tidal wave.
“Goddamn you, Joshua Lyman!” she shouted, surprising both of them. “It’s just
like you to throw back all the pressure on me. Why do I have to be the one to choose?
Why couldn’t you have told me years ago how you feel? Why did we have to hurt
someone in the process, when it would have been so easy for us so long ago? I have—or
I had—something special with Sam. It was something that meant a lot to both of us. I
thought, even if my worst nightmares did come true and you did end up back with Amy
for good, that I was entitled to a bit of happiness of my own.”
She was almost gasping for breath when the tirade ended. Josh stood before her,
not moving a muscle—but she could read the tension growing throughout his body.
“Are you saying I can’t make you happy?” he accused in a harsh voice.
“Can’t you just SHUT UP long enough for me to say this?” Josh’s mouth
slammed shut at her command and Donna continued. “I want you,” she lamented. “I’ve
wanted you for far too long for you not to have noticed at least SOMETHING. And there
have been so many times over the years when I would have died for you to make love to
me.”
When she paused to take a breath, there was nothing she wanted more in the
world than for him to sweep her up in his arms and just hold her through all the pain; but
she fought against that instinct with every bit of willpower she could muster. When she
spoke again, her voice was near the breaking point.
“But time and again, nothing happened for us. Nothing. Do you know how that’s
made me feel, Josh? To think you had a glimmer of feeling for me, and then to have any
tiny spark of hope just crushed because you just—you just had to be YOU. And when it
really comes down to it, I’ll tell you something I’ve learned about myself. I am so not the
type who can live on bread alone. I’m just plain tired of it.”
Sensing a break in her rant, Josh leapt in with both feet. “No, you’re right,” he
answered. “You want ice cream.”
“Excuse me?” Donna was completely confused.
“A while ago, back at the office, you said I was always picking the wrong flavour
of ice cream.”
“You have been!” she shouted, not caring who could hear them in the rest of the
building. Josh took a step closer, causing Donna to back up against the door.
“But tell me this, Donna—haven’t you been skinting on the waffle cone just as
much as I have?”
The silence that descended between them was amassed with unsaid words.
Donna shook her head, not quite willing to take in what Josh was finally admitting to—
did he really get it, at last? From something more than just pent-up lust? Reminding
herself of just how far she had come to get to this point, she took a chance and put herself
out beyond the ledge of denial.
“Maybe,” she whispered.
“What’s your favourite flavour, Donna?” Josh’s body was so close to her now, all
she could smell was the intoxicating scent of his after-shave, but he still refused to touch
her.
“Um…” she stuttered, stalling through her shock, “…ah, lately it’s been Rocky
Road.”
“What kind am I?” Josh asked, a smile spreading across his features.
“What?”
“What do I taste like?” he replied, his voice dropping to a low octave Donna had
only heard a few times before in her life.
“Ah…Bailey’s…you taste like Bailey’s Irish Cream Hagen-Dazs.”
He took a step back, trying not to laugh. “I’m a combo of milk and Irish
whiskey?”
“I…I guess so.”
“Well, if you think so, hadn’t you better take this rose and find out for sure?”
Struck dumb by the awesome power of what was transpiring, Donna’s hands
reached out and grasped the rose Josh held between two fingers. But, since things never
were easy for the two of them, he somehow managed to prick himself on one of the few
thorns.
“Damnit!” he swore, watching closely as the blood welled up from the puncture
wound.
Without waiting to hear another word, Donna brought his hand up to her lips and
gently sucked the blood off his finger. She was so caught up in the quicksilver taste of
his blood, it took several seconds for her brain to register that her tongue was still playing
with the tip of his finger.
Josh took a harsh breath, his eyes closing from the pleasure of her mouth.
“Um…Donna?” he squeaked, grasping for control. “What are you doing?”
She didn’t answer him with words, not needing any as she released his finger.
She knew he could see the answer in her eyes alone.
He smoothly reached out and caressed her hips and curves with both hands,
feeling his way through her jeans and top. When he began his confession, his voice was
awash with the truth and seriousness of his words.
“Donna, I want butterscotch ice cream. I want it more than anything. I want it
more than anything in this whole entire world. I want it running over my tongue,
dripping into my mouth, so hot and sweet.”
She groaned at his fevered words and her eyes widened as she realised they were
about to kiss.
As his mouth slowly swooped down to claim hers, Josh couldn’t help one more
cocky comment. “Butterscotch and Baileys,” he mumbled. “What a combo.”
But before he could seal his vow with a kiss, Josh was pleasantly surprised, as it
was Donna who pushed the door shut and backed up against it, Donna who bolted the
lock and drew the chain without looking away from him, Donna whose eyes beckoned
him with a come-hither look that even the most steadfast of men would be helpless to
resist.
His lips touched hers, and a new chapter began.
********
The TV was on in the background. Donna couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed the
background noise before. She broke away after the first sweet, simple kiss and began to
laugh.
“Joshua Lyman! What were you watching?”
Josh smiled sheepishly and brought his hands up to softly cup her breasts as he
answered, hoping to distract her from the truth. “It’s a VH1 Behind The Music
something.”
She darted away from his descending mouth once more and ran a hand through
his raggedy hair, mussing it up until he looked so sexy, she got a goosey-pimple feeling
running all up and down her spine. “You were watching a special on Extreme?” Her
voice rang with amusement.
“Don’t mock me,” he chided gently, his hands running up her back to tease the
clasp on her bra. “It reminded of you in some diabolically evil way.”
She smiled and nipped his mouth once, twice, and then a third time before settling
into a more erotic, open-mouthed dance of tongues and teeth and lips. “That’s so us,” she
mumbled against his kiss.
“I guess so,” he agreed, and then silenced her in the most effective way he knew.
Sayin’ I love you is not the words
**I want to hear from you
It’s that I want you not to say,
But if you only knew how easy it would be
To show me how you feel
More than words
Is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say
That you love me
‘Cause I’d already know**
Donna felt her coat leave her body and drop to the floor. Next came her shoes,
which she pulled off without ever breaking their kiss. When she finally stepped out of
them, the new angle of Josh’s mouth pulsing down against her own made her groan and
bring her arms up around his neck, tightly pressing the length of her body against his. As
her fingers tangled with the curly ends of his hair Josh growled into her mouth, pushing
further in his quest to make her finally his. His hands first smoothed up her back, and
then clutched at the fabric, wanting more and more of her mouth, her body, her soul…
What would you do if my heart was torn in two?
**More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying I love you**
At last, the need for air overwhelmed them both, but even after they broke apart,
panting, neither could bear to stop touching the other. Josh’s hands cupped Donna’s face,
his fingers softly memorising each nuance of her expression at that moment.
“I do love you,” he whispered. “I know I yelled it at you before—and that wasn’t
my best moment. But,” he added, his thumbs now brushing across her slightly swollen
lips, “you have to know that I’m in love with you. And I don’t think—no, I know—I’ll
never stop.”
“Josh,” Donna sighed, biting down on her lip to stop from crying.
“You’re…you’re…I don’t have the words. But it’s the same for me. I can’t say it the
right way…” She broke off, laying her head against his shoulder and holding him as
tightly as possible. It was as if she wanted the power to make sure he never left her arms
again.
“Then,” he responded, his lips pressing softly against her hair, “maybe we don’t
need any more words tonight.”
Donna began to giggle in his arms, thinking of the music they were listening to.
Seeing her amusement, Josh began to smile, holding onto her as the laughter rolled
through him. But then they both saw the burning passion in each other’s face and the
laughter died away, only to be replaced by something even more tangible and thrilling:
desire. Josh dropped quick-fire kisses on her mouth, needing more—and he could tell
from the way she rubbed against his body that her needs were just as great.
She looked up at him, smiling so much that her blue eyes shone with a heated
brilliance. This time when she lifted her head to kiss him with the full force of her
feelings, she knew it was just the beginning…
**Now that I’ve tried to talk to you
And make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hand
And touch me—hold me close
Don’t ever let me go
More than words is all I ever
Needed you to show
Then you wouldn’t have to say
That you love me
Cause I’d already know**
Silently, Josh moved his hips so that she could feel his firm hardness against her
belly—the thought of which made her burn for his touch on every inch of her skin. She
lifted slightly to nestle him between the crevice of her thighs, rocking to the simple beat
of the music. He gasped as her cold hands reached under his shirt to stroke his stomach
and then pushed down, past the elastic of his pants, to tease his length in her tender grip.
“Donna…” he moaned.
“Sssh!” she chastised, bringing her finger up against his lips to hush him. Then
he shocked her own senses by closing his heated lips around her finger, stroking the pads
of her fingertips with an agile tongue, just as she had done to him before.
Donna’s knees buckled, her hands falling away from his body as the magnitude of
their circumstances ruined her control.
Feeling an invincible manliness course through him, Josh picked her up and
carried her through the kitchen to the wide expanse of his king-size bed. The simple feel
of her soft, pliant body against him sent all his blood rushing to a single location. His
mouth moved over her hair and nibbled at the rim of her left ear as he carried her, causing
her to grasp even harder to the locks of hair at the back of his neck.
The TV he left on purposefully, knowing there could never be any other poetry
more fitting for their current situation. Sighing gently as he set her down on the firm
mattress, he stood before her…
**What would you do if my heart was torn in two?
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away?
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by sayin’ I love you
More than words…**
Her eyes locked on his smouldering expression, Donna slowly undid the buttons
of her white blouse, finding it already rucked up out of her jeans. Looking down past the
majesty of his chest, she could see Josh’s hard length tenting the material of his track
pants—she unconsciously licked her lips, blatantly ogling him.
The sight of her wet pink tongue made Josh moan in sweet surrender, his hands
coming forward to weave themselves through the thin strands of her hair. She crooned at
his touch in response and tilted her head back as he slowly peeled her blouse off her arms
and threw it somewhere behind him.
Kneeling before her on the hard pine floor, Josh gazed upon her beauty,
devouring the rounded curves of her breasts, emphasised slightly by her bra. He then
raced to expose more of her creamy white flesh, unzipping her jeans with fumbling
fingers and then dragging them off her long legs. His breathing grew harsher by the
second.
As he rained kisses down upon her calves and knees and thighs, Donna gave
double thanks; first, for having shaved her legs that morning and then, more importantly
in her opinion, for having worn a matching set of bra and panties. When Josh looked up
her body and took in the contrast of the pale blue Victoria’s Secret ensemble against her
fair complexion, Donna felt a thrill of arousal and sexual power flow through her,
ultimately pooling between her thighs.
The Extreme special of VH1 must have ended because she could no longer hear
the acoustic harmony in the confines of Josh’s bedroom, but she didn’t think music
mattered anymore—there was already a chorus of Hallelujahs going off in her head.
********
**I’ve been really tryin’, baby
Tryin’ to hold back this feeling for so long
And if you feel like I feel, baby
Come on, oh, come on
Let’s get it on
We’re all sensitive people with so much to give
Understanding, sugar
Since we got to be, let’s live
I love you
There’s nothing wrong with me lovin’ you
Baby, no, no
And givin’ yourself to me could never be wrong
If the love is true, oh baby
Don’t know how sweet and wonderful life can be
I’m asking you, baby, to get it on with me
I ain’t gonna worry, I ain’t gonna push
I won’t push you, baby
So come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, baby
Stop beatin’ round the bush
Let’s get it on
Ooo! Let’s get it on
You know what I’m talkin’ about
Come on, baby, hey hey
Let your love come out, if you believe in love
Let’s get it on
Oh, let’s get it on, baby
This minute ah yeah
Let’s get it on
Please get it on
I know that you know what I’ve been dreamin’ of
Don’t you, baby?
My whole body wants that feeling of love
Help me
I gonna worry, no I ain’t gonna push
I won’t push you, baby
Come on come on come on come on come on, darling
Stop beatin’ round the bush
Gonna get it on, right in you, baby
I want to get it on
You don’t have to worry that it’s wrong
If the spirit moves you, let me groove you good
Let your love come down
Oh, get it on, come on, baby
Girl you give me good feeling, so good
Nothing wrong with love, if you want to love me, baby
Just let yourself go
Ah, baby, let’s get it on**
********
Edging closer to him, Donna drew off Josh’s shirt, needing the feel of skin against
skin. The sensation of his body against her own that weekend at the Bartlet’s farm had
been a memory she had cherished in the intervening days and weeks—now she wanted to
have his mark burned into her brain and body so that she could never again be without it.
“Let me see you,” she whispered, leaning back against the softness of the duvet.
Giving her quite possibly the cockiest smile in his entire life, Josh stood again and pulled
his track pants and boxers off in one smooth motion, his cock jutting out towards her. The
sight of him proud and erect sent off primal reactions throughout Donna’s body, the inner
walls of her sex contracting instinctively.
Josh crawled onto the bed like a predatory beast, never quite touching her body
with his own, but inching his way up so that he covered her, his weight resting on his
hands and knees.
“Tell me what you want,” he said lowly, brushing his face down to inhale the
scent of her hair, which he had always loved and now found absolutely intoxicating.
“I want you,” she answered simply.
He smiled, his eyes brimming with emotion as his dimples dug deep crevices in
his face. She had never thought him more handsome or sexy or absolutely irresistible
then right at that moment as she lay beneath him, poised for the best ride of her life.
“You already have me, Donna. That wasn’t the question.”
She bit her lip playfully, striking a pose of intense thought and then laughed in
delight and excitement as he nipped at that sensitive, ticklish spot on the side of her neck.
It seemed that their banter had quite naturally modified itself to a bedroom atmosphere.
“I just want you,” she repeated. “I want all of you, Josh—don’t hold anything
back.”
He nodded in response and then slowly sat up, bringing her to a sitting position
slightly atop him. Her legs hung over his hips so that his shaft teased the hidden border
of her blond curls.
“Well, then,” he said, “I suppose we had better get you as naked as I am.” Before
Donna knew what had happened, his hands had gone around her and unsnapped her bra.
Josh pulled the straps down slowly, first one arm, then the other, and paused for a long
moment before baring her breasts to his ravishing stare.
“You’re not going to knee me in the stomach again if I kiss you there, right?” he
teased.
Rolling her eyes, she batted him lightly on the back of his head and then pulled
his lips down to the sensitive tips of her breasts, needing the heat and tug of his mouth to
ease the gnawing ache within her that grew stronger by the second. She eased herself
back a bit so that his back curled, his straining cock now able to find some friction with
the lace of her scant panties.
“I promise,” she whispered, gasping slightly as he worked his mouth over her, “I
won’t ever push you away again.”
Answering with an appreciative rumble, Josh continued to sip at nipples that had
become hard nubs at the first touch of his mouth. His adoration was heady and
intoxicating, making her feel like some ancient goddess being worshipped with a
supreme carnality. Donna felt so turned on she thought that just a few more of Josh’s
open-mouthed kisses might push her off the edge; but, if she thought that he was at all
ready to start moving things faster, she was gravely mistaken.
He pulled back, razing her mouth with his for long moments before stopping. “If
you want…all of me…” he panted between more kisses, “then…I…need…to
taste…all…of you.” When he kissed her again, she was sure he didn’t give a damn about
oxygen anymore.
The thought of such total ravishment made Donna shiver with desire, but she felt
she had to say it once more before finally taking this last step with Josh. She cupped his
face in her hands, his hot skin making her fingers seem cold by comparison, and looked
at him, letting the tenderness grow steadily between them with each passing second, so
that it almost outweighed their fervent desire.
“Josh,” she said in a hushed voice, refusing to blink or look away. “I love you. I
love you!”
She could tell that she had made an impact with the strong repetition of her
feelings, because for one of the few times in her life, Donna Moss found she had rendered
Joshua Lyman completely speechless. For a moment she thought she was going to start
crying because it all felt so right, while another part of her wanted to crow with victory at
finally shutting him up in the best of ways.
But then, Josh kissed her. It was the sweetest moment of her life, and one of the
simplest. This was one of the kisses of old, lips glued to lips, pressing slightly, moving
side to side with an artful grace, refusing to press for more, only wanting enough of a
taste to ease the tender ache each felt for the other. Neither of them breathed while they
poured out their souls through the modest features of touch and taste and smell. She could
feel only the barest hint of his hot mouth beyond and she found that her yearning for what
was not readily given brought on an entirely new level of sensuality.
With one move that was both quick and yet also slowly seductive, Josh divested
Donna of her thong, tossing it somewhere behind him to join with her bra. He rocked
back on his knees, silent, his eyes roving over her now-naked body.
“I know we were close to—you know, doing this before,” he said, still gazing at
the upthrust of belly and breasts, the delicate widening of her hips. “But, I never…wow.
You are, you’re…more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.”
Hearing the awe in his voice, Donna couldn’t stop the tears from running down
her face. Before he could move to wipe them away, she sat up again, resting her bottom
on her feet. Silently, she began to kiss at his throat, sucking sweetly on his collarbone as
her hands traced patterns on his chest and stomach, slowly making their way down his
body. When her fingers found their final destination she didn’t stop her ministrations
above, her mouth still pleasantly occupied laving his aroused nipples and lovingly
nuzzling the scar that meant he could still be there with her.
Donna cupped him briefly in her hand, completely drunk with the taste and feel of
his body stirring under her enthusiastic touch. His velvety hardness filled her palm as she
encircled his girth. He moaned as she stroked him, his cries lost in the soft skin of her
neck.
Donna could tell from the almost vampire-like clamp of his lips on her flesh that
she would have the biggest hickey in the morning—and damn, if the thought didn’t make
her grin from ear to ear. Josh’s moans came faster now, filling Donna with the desire to
taste him as she never had before.
But as soon as she changed her position to bend and take him in her hot, wet
mouth, Josh pulled her legs out from under her, so that he lay spread between them, his
face nuzzling her lower belly.
“What was that you were saying about butterscotch ice cream?” he teased.
Donna’s breath caught in her chest as she realised what he meant, and any answer
was lost swiftly as his mouth trekked south across her downy curls to conquer her sex
with the skill of a master artist.
From the first touch of his burning mouth on her oversensitised skin, Donna
began to shiver. At first she couldn’t distinguish between his lips and tongue as he licked
her folds, zeroing in on her clit within a few strokes. Her hips bucked up to meet his
touch and Josh chuckled softly, most definitely amused. He moved his hands down from
where they’d been flirting with the curves of her breasts and pushed down on her hips,
holding her in place for his intimate assault.
His tongue traced the opening of her passage and all the breath left Donna’s
lungs. So this was bliss—this was what it was like to completely fall over the edge. The
friction of Josh loving her heated core over and over again, stroking and laving her in just
the right places, pushed her over the precipice of sheer pleasure almost immediately. She
had never in her life come with such ferocity—she felt torn between a languorous
lethargy and the shooting stamina to make love until dawn.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered apologetically as Josh partially climbed up her body,
resting his head just below her breasts.
“Donna, don’t.” Her eyes flew to look at him, expecting to see him wearing his
pissed-off lecturing face. Instead, all she saw was unconditional devotion.
“Never apologise for showing me how much you love me,” he continued. “You
mean too much to me to ever belittle yourself that way.”
Donna bit her lip, trying to hold herself back from just melting against him—
when in his entire life had Joshua Lyman ever said so many right things in such a short
time span?
“Besides,” he drawled, his cocky arrogance back in full sexual force, “we’ve both
been waiting for something like that at least since being at the farm—maybe even
longer?”
She nodded, unable to stop smiling as he teased her far out of the reach of
embarrassment. “Maybe years?” she suggested.
“Well,” he replied, stopping every few seconds to place tender kisses all over her
breasts and shoulders and neck, “if you think you waited a long time for THAT, do you
have any idea—”
“Josh!” Donna giggled, dragging him down to kiss him senseless before he could
say another word.
Soon the kiss became more of a passionate onslaught than the simple touching of
lips, and Donna thought the foreplay had gone on enough for one night—or at least for
tonight’s first round.
Reaching down to hold him once more in her tight, silken grasp, Donna ran her
tongue around the edge of his mouth, nipping slightly and making Josh fairly quiver in
extreme ecstasy.
“Now, Josh. I need you now.” Her mouth slowly sucked on one of his earlobes
as she ground up into his hips. It must have been a pleasure zone for him, because Josh’s
hips immediately began to thrust against her belly the moment her tongue touched his
ear.
“Oh my god,” he gasped. “Stop doing that or…just…oh my god.”
Donna laughed gently, her eyes bright even in the darkness of the bedroom. His
hands framed her face—she had long lost count of how many times he had done that to
her tonight, too moved by the emotion in his eyes every time he did it—and he kissed her
again, sweetly.
“Do we need…you know…ya know?”
“Tactful as ever, Mr Lyman.”
“Donna, seriously, I don’t have the willpower to start role-playing boss and
assistant fantasies just now.”
That made her laugh even more, as they both grinned at each other.
“No, Josh. We don’t need…‘ya know’. I just want to feel you—all of you.”
Without another word, Josh slightly repositioned them and thrust again, this time
driving himself home. Donna screamed at the invasion—although she was most wet, she
had never before sheathed someone of Josh’s size.
A soft touch on the side of her face let her know he was asking if she was okay—
his mouth had already resumed sucking on her taut breasts. She lifted one hand up and
put it over his, moving his fingers over her face so that he could feel her pleasure before
letting her head fall back. Her fingers wove themselves into his hair as he pulled out of
her completely and plunged back again and again, reaching her womb with every stroke.
Donna’s breaths turned into sighing pants as Josh moved within her, rubbing
every inch of her inner walls. Changing the angle slightly so that her back bent in a near-
perfect bow, he then moved so that he could also gratify her swollen clit, making her
keen in a high-pitched voice as she neared climax again. She came, screaming his name,
entwining herself about him in unadulterated euphoria.
His mouth tore away from her firm breasts and he nestled his head between her
neck and shoulder, riding her hard and fast, but also with abounding passion and love in
every stroke. She sensed he was close and ran her hands done his strong back to grasp at
his clenching buttocks. Her hands on his ass was all he needed to push him over the
edge. He cried out her name, repeating it in soft echoes as his hips twitched and the
scalding-hot flood of his seed caressed her insides.
They collapsed in a sweaty tangle, still joined. The only sound was their harsh
breathing and the familiar noise of traffic far-off in the brilliant, unforgettable night.
********
“To finish what I was saying before—”
“Yes?”
Josh’s response was somewhat muffled, as he refused to move from his present
position with his head pillowed on Donna’s chest, his tongue snaking out to sweetly tease
a firm nipple. She was grinning in the darkness of his bedroom, unable to stop smiling
for even a second as they both recovered from their exhaustive lovemaking.
“What I meant to say from the very first is that, if I have to choose, I have no
choice: it has to be you.” Josh looked up at her, sensing now might not be the time for
playfulness. “I’ve always been in love with you,” she continued, “uncertain, but never—
never quite giving up that last, small speck of hope.”
“Donna?” He didn’t say anything at first, but his searing eyes roving over her
face made Donna unspeakably nervous—like he was about to say something ghastly and
kick her out of his apartment. But then his face crinkled into a smile, lighting up her life.
“I love you, Donna. I can’t say it enough.”
“It took you long enough to start saying it in the first place!” she accused
hopelessly, trying to divert his attention away from the tears that were threatening to fall
for the millionth time that evening.
“Don’t cry!” he hushed, wiping any moisture away with a tender thumb.
“You’re such an ass.”
“That I may be,” he agreed, nodding, “but you’ve got to admit, my real ass is
quite the thing.”
She rewarded him under the twisted sheets with a thorough squeeze of his
aforementioned posterior.
“Well, I’d say you’re getting a gold medal for this year’s Ass Olympics.”
“Thank God there’s no French judge around tonight, I might have to revert to
lewd measures in order to win over the rest of the panel,” he growled. The next moment
he pounced, which was a feat in and of itself considering they were already tangled
together. Donna’s shrieks of laughter resounded through the apartment as she tried to get
away from the tickle monster delighting every inch of her skin.
“Don’t…worry,” she gasped in between yelps. “I’d…always pick
you…over…a…Russian.”
Donna finally managed to subdue Josh when she found herself straddling him and
crawled her way down his body to take him in her mouth. She teased with light licks and
strokes, never quite giving in to his pleas of mercy.
For years Donna had never enjoyed fellatio—all philately jokes aside—and she
could count on one hand the number of men she had ever done this to. Still, that didn’t
mean a girl couldn’t learn a lot from a ten year subscription to Cosmopolitan and the
tidbits that invariably came out during girl chats after a long night at work. And now,
with Josh writhing beneath her exotic touch, she felt like the sexiest woman in the world.
“Donna, stop!”
She looked up and, meeting his eyes, knew that he wanted to share whatever was
to come next. “I don’t think I’d mind…you know…” she answered, using big eye
movements to get her point across.
“And that’s fabulous information for a rainy day, and has already rocketed to
number one on my office-fantasy list, but I don’t want to waste this.”
This time when they made love it was slow and sensual, awakening every nerve
in their bodies, so that one light kiss could set off explosions of excitement and
satisfaction.
Afterwards, still unable or unwilling to leave the bed, they lay together, staring off
into nothing and everything. This time, Donna’s head was pillowed on Josh’s bare chest
as he reclined against the headboard. His fingers traced tender patterns on her arm.
“Were you serious, Donna? Before, I mean. We’re going to do this?”
“Do what?” she replied, somewhat lazily.
“Be together.”
She reached up, touching his face that was so familiar and yet, in their current
situation, so new. Smiling, she answered him.
“You sound like a kid in a candy-store.”
He looked down at her, his eyes full of glowing warmth as he began to playfully
bite at her fingers when they neared his lips. They laughed together, and then he gathered
her even closer in his arms. Donna hooked a leg over his, pressing herself against him as
though they could meld into one being now that their emotions had finally been given
free reign.
“I think,” she said, looking off at the doorway to his bedroom, “I think now that
we’ve started this, there’s nothing in the world that could make me stop.”
“Not the press? Or Leo? Or Toby’s glowering looks?”
“Okay, new rule: no mentioning of Leo when I’m in your bed—it just kills the
mood right off the bat.”
“Sorry,” he said. “I’ll take note of that.”
“Not any of them could make me give you up, Josh.”
He took a deep breath, knowing he had to ask and hating to do it. “And Sam?”
There was a long silence, during which he held her tightly against him and she
shut her eyes against the dark. “I never wanted to hurt him,” she whispered.
“Neither did I.”
“So how are we going to handle this?”
“The only way we can, I suppose,” Josh concluded. “We have to tell him first
thing.”
She nodded in agreement, then bit her lip. “Even with all the stuff going on for
him with the California 47th?”
“Well, you’re not suggesting we keep this under wraps until next March when the
by-election happens, are you?”
“No, no,” she said, rushing to reassure both their fears. “I just—well…there’s no
easy way out of this, is there?”
“No,” he answered, shaking his head, “there really isn’t. He’s going to be sore
about this, Donna…I know what he’s like when things don’t go his way and when he
thinks it’s important. But,” he added, turning her face with one hand so he could see the
brilliance of her blue eyes gazing up at him, “there’s no way in hell I’m letting you go.”
He bent down and kissed her, trying to keep it short and sweet, but falling happily into
the alluring enchantments her mouth offered each and every time he trapped her lips with
his own.
“We’ll work it out,” she vowed, murmuring against his lips.
“Damn straight.”
“Because we can’t stop now.” It was a statement, not a question.
“Most definitely not.”
Donna sat up, and eased herself over Josh’s body so that her thighs straddled his.
“Don’t let me go, Josh,” she said, her impish request mixing with the solemnity in her
eyes.
“Not a chance.”
Josh pulled Donna down to him, still revelling in the new found treasures her
body offered and took and gave and received. With a squeal of pleasure, Donna cleared
her mind of anything and everything except for Joshua Lyman as he moved above her,
below her, with her, within her—until the moment when her mind whirled with the stars
and his most intimate caress left her lovingly sated.
********
Josh sat on the edge of the bed, knowing that his mouth hung open with abject
lust and not giving a damn. He was enjoying the show before him way too much to
bother with slight details like the saliva running down his jaw.
Donna giggled as she rolled her thigh-high stockings further up her legs. Never in
her life would she forget the look on Josh’s face when she had reached far into the
dangerous jungle that was his sock drawer and came out with a surprise she had planted
there years ago. When she had taken care of him after the shooting, she had taken up a
small amount of space in his closet with her personal things, not wanting to be caught
without clean panties or a good black skirt if she suddenly had to dash to the office.
Since those dark days that were also so intimate and bonding for both of them, she had
thought of the pair of stockings she had left accidentally in his sock drawer. Maybe Joey
Lucas would have found them, or Evil Amy…she knew Josh well enough to know he
never bothered looking in the depths of his dresser. She wouldn’t have been surprised if
he only owned about three pairs of dark socks in total.
Anyway, the point was that she now had a little gift to leave him flabbergasted as
they dressed together in the gentle morning light.
“Josh,” she mocked, “you’re drooling.”
“What man in his right mind wouldn’t be? Do you always wear those?”
Donna smiled. “Not always…sometimes I go for the real thing with a garter belt
and snaps and everything. Joshua Lyman! Did you just whimper?”
Not bothering to answer such an obvious question, Josh scooted off the bed and
crawled toward her on his knees until he could reach out and help her tug up the stubborn
elastic the last few inches.
“Well,” he mumbled, running his hands up and down her nylon-covered legs, “we
both know what I’m going to be fantasising about all day through every single meeting.”
She bent down so that their faces were only slightly apart. His hands stayed on
the backs of her thighs. “If you think,” she whispered in a sultry, teasing voice, “that
we’re going to have a quickie against your office door, you’ve got another thing coming.”
“Don’t be cruel, Donna. That’s not fair.”
Laughing, she walked away into the kitchen, leaving Josh more or less helpless on
his bedroom floor.
“Don’t forget to put clothes on before we leave!” she hollered back to him.
“There she goes, being cruel again,” he said to himself, pouting in self-pity. It
wasn’t his fault that all he wanted to do for the rest of his life was be in bed with
Donna—and maybe a few forays into the shower when they wanted to mix things up a
bit. Well, okay, maybe it WAS a little bit his fault—or at least the fault of a certain part
of his brain and anatomy—but it was definitely not a feeling he was at all ready to
dismiss. No way in hell.
He walked out into the kitchen, following her like a needle to true north. She had
put her heels on already, but nothing else past stockings, panties and a sheer bra—it was
like one of his most illicit and naughty fantasies coming true before his very eyes.
Fabulous.
Josh leaned up against the stainless steel fridge, taking in the sight of his woman
grumbling at the dirty dishes in his sink—he really ought to have washed those about a
week ago, but whatever—and he gave a soft grunt of primal male satisfaction.
Donna did her best to keep the smile off her face as she felt Josh’s eyes roving
over her body—hadn’t that been her goal when she had slipped into her black pumps
after leaving the bedroom? Still, there wasn’t a lot of time to dawdle. It might be only
5:45 in the morning, but for White House employees, that was cutting it awfully close.
Even the election victory the other day—no, now it was two days ago—hardly changed
the pace of running the country.
“Josh?” she asked, not turning around to look at him. “Did you change the coffee
filter at all this week?”
He rolled his eyes. “What, don’t you trust me?”
She looked at him for a moment over her shoulder, then headed straight for the
box of new filters, making sure he actually had more before throwing out the previous
dregs of coffee grinds. “Oh, thank God,” she breathed in relief, “there’s one left.”
“You’re never going to forgive me for that one pot I made—what is it now—over
three years ago?” he whined.
“No, I don’t think I ever will.”
She followed up her sassy retort with a sexy wink that made Josh lean against the
fridge with the biggest stupidest satisfied smile on his face. This was so great. They
were still themselves, even though he had an obvious raging hard-on from ogling her and
she was making coffee in an outfit straight from the pages of Victoria’s Secret.
And they had made love. Even though Donna stood right there before him, Josh
still closed his eyes and imagined the way she had looked through all the long hours of
the night as they had finally given in to what they had always known to be true. God,
that sounded really girly. He tried rephrasing it in his mind: they had at last taken each
other the way they always should have—there, that was a little bit better.
He sighed, absolutely loving the fact that he could still banter with Donna but that
now they had the luxury of doing it naked…or next-to-naked…or fully clothed but totally
picturing each other naked. Yup, it looked like today was definitely going to be a ‘Naked
Thoughts’ day.
Josh loved ‘Naked Thoughts’ days, so long as his schedule wasn’t too busy with
aggravating meetings on the Hill.
But then came the realisation that there would be a meeting today that didn’t take
place on the Hill and would be far from aggravating—it would be excruciating, on more
levels than he wanted to count.
Later, he thought, we’ll deal with that later. I just want to think about HER right
now.
And so, Josh stepped up behind Donna, swept her hair to one side and slowly
began planting kisses along the shapely curve of her neck. She leaned back against him,
groaning. His erection jutted against her backside and then she made him groan by
slowly moving her ass against him in time with his kisses. Without leaving the smooth
skin of her neck and jaw line, he crossed his arms just below her breasts and pulled her
back even harder against him.
Donna’s hands braced against the kitchen counter, revelling in the feeling of
being trapped between it and a hard place. “I…I was going to make you coffee,” she
groaned, as Josh nibbled his way up to her ear.
“Really?” He eagerly pulled away from her, his eyes sparkling in triumphant
victory at last. Donna spun around, her open mouth and wide eyes obviously
telegraphing her disappointment at losing the arousing feeling of his body pressed against
hers. He couldn’t bear to tease her for more than a few seconds and quickly swooped in
again to take her in his arms.
“I’ll take you over the coffee.” The tone of his voice as he made such an intimate
confession was little more than a growl and the sound of his lustful passion made Donna
literally weak at the knees.
“Smart boy,” she quipped in a last rejoinder before his mouth captured hers in one
of the most graphic and explicit kisses of her life.
It was a long time before she could say anything else.
********
After what could only be termed a quickie on the kitchen counter, they had gone
back to the bedroom, if only so that Josh could get dressed properly this time. Donna had
made the bed, lovingly erasing the imprint of their bodies as she straightened the sheets,
and then sat on the soft duvet, watching her lover perform his morning ritual of putting
on his suit.
Today’s colour choice was a charcoal shade of grey. As Josh slowly did up the
buttons of his white dress shirt—taking his time because he could feel her heated gaze
upon him—Donna knew in her heart this was an act she would see him perform a million
more times. That thought alone was enough to make her smile for the rest of the day.
But there were still hurdles ahead, and now was as good as any time to discuss
them.
“So,” she said, “what happens next?”
Josh gave her a look, hoping to humour his way out of the conversation. “We go
to work and run the country, same as ever?”
“Josh.”
Her serious tone demanded a sober response. “This hasn’t changed who we are,
Donna.”
As he spoke, she moved off the bed and came in close, her body heat stoking his
own fire, and began to knot his tie. “All we’ve done,” he continued, playing with the
long strands of her hair, “is add to what we already had and made it stronger.”
She focused on the metallic grey fabric in her hands. “I just know I’ll walk in
there this morning and everyone will see everything about us written all over my face.”
“I think it’s a nice face,” he said softly.
“Thanks.”
For a moment they simply stared at each other before Donna leaned in to give him
a chaste kiss. She straightened his tie for another few seconds and then moved away.
Before she could leave the room, Josh grabbed her hand to stop her.
“Look—you and…you and Sam were able to make it work despite the fact that
you worked together. Donna, I’m still me and you’re still you and I’m madly in love
with you. And if you think for even one second that everyone in this crazy town didn’t
already call this years ago, I’ll really have to begin to doubt your sanity.”
Donna didn’t know what to say in response to that. In his own idiotic way, it
might have been the most romantic thing Josh had ever said to her. She reached out and
touched the fringe of his hair just above one ear, as if to make sure that he was really real.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“Trust me. Just trust me, Donna. This can work—it WILL work. As far as I’m
concerned, there’s no alternative. And I wouldn’t want one even if there were.”
She exhaled deeply, closing her eyes against the hurt that would inevitably come
because of the unquestionable force that compelled them to love each other.
“I have to talk to Sam.”
Josh smirked sadly. “You’ve had to do a lot of that lately.”
Sighing, she tried to find the words. “I just…I know I’m strong enough to do this
and now that I’ve had what I’ve always wanted—” She paused to wrap her arms around
him, needing to feel him holding her. “You…I’ve always wanted YOU—but what has to
happen next won’t be easy.”
“I would never have thought it would be,” he muttered against her hair, hugging
her back just as hard. “Do you want me to be there?”
“No. No, this is something I have to do on my own.”
He loosened his grip on her slightly so he could look her in the face and then
leaned his forehead against hers.
“I love you.”
“I know,” she whispered back, her eyes tightly closed. “You know, I’ll never stop
wanting to hear that every day for the rest of my life.”
“I know.”
They reluctantly broke the embrace and, without another word, put on their coats
and left for the office. But from the moment they closed his door to the time they
reached the West Wing, Josh never let go of Donna’s hand.
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