Saturday 1:20pm
Hi, CJ! I'm back from the doctor. And I have good news and bad news -- which would you like first?
Ok, the bad news. The tests show that I have a condition called axonotemesis. This means that the trauma to my leg caused damage to my nerves electrical conduction cells. Basically, I'm experiencing weakness in my lower limb and foot because my nerves aren't transmitting information like they should.
The good news? They probably won't have to do any more surgery. My leg should spontaneously recover on its own. It will just take several additional months of intense therapy and rest.
That actually sounds more like bad news, doesn't it?
Don't worry about being around for Josh this afternoon. I've decided I'm not telling him. At least not right away. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he's still mad at me for going out with Matt. Honestly, how does that man manage his ego, thinking he can sabotage my dates from 737 miles away? It's one thing to do it while I'm working in his office. It's quite another when I'm on a leave of absence.
Thanks, CJ. :)
Love,
Donna
~~~~~
Saturday, 6pm
Dear Donna,
Um...yeah. I don't even know how to...type...any of this.
First of all, are you even still speaking to me? Maybe after we've established that, I'll have some idea of what's going on...kind of.
Secondly...I hope you had a nice time last night. You deserve it. Honest.
Best,
Josh
~~~~~
Saturday 9:54pm
Josh,
Yes, I am still speaking to you. No, I'm not mad at you. Or at least, not quite as mad as I was.
You tell me that your love life is none of my business and then you say all sorts of horrible things about me. That hurt. I thought, at the very least, that we were friends. I'm beginning to doubt that.
There are things going on here -- and no, not anything to do with Matt. He's a friend, that's all -- but I don't think I can get into them with you yet. Maybe after we've both cooled off a bit.
-D
~~~~~
Sunday, 10am
Dear Donna,
We ARE friends. Goddamnit, why do you think I flew all the way to Germany -- just to see if you'd be able to fax things in the near future????
I snarked because...well, you seemed snippy and evasive in everything you were writing. And the baseball scholarship? How was I supposed to take that? And it's not like you've ever been INTERESTED in my love life. I always hear about yours -- hell, I SAW it in living color when Colin the Photographer came waltzing into the hospital!
I'm...sorry...I hurt you. That took a while to type, so I hope you know that I must really mean it. But you don't realize what it's been like here without you!
And speaking of love lives...yeah, well...there's stuff going on here too that you don't know about and -- and I don't know how to even get into it with you. Because once I tell you, you're going to hate me. At least, I hope you will. Or I think you will. Or...hell, I don't know anymore.
Do you know what I mean?
Let me know when you've cooled off long enough to write again.
- Josh
~~~~~
Sunday, 6:10pm
CJ --
Okay, you said you needed time to think. I've given you twenty-nine hours. *Now* do you have any suggestions?
- Josh
~~~~~
Sunday, 6:25 pm
Dear Jackass,
Yes, you jackass, I have thought about it. And here's what is going to happen.
Aisling no longer works for you. She'll start in the Communications bullpen on Monday morning. You better hope like hell she can hold her own, because Toby is extremely pissed at you too. I had to agree to owe him a favour for this, which means you now owe me.
I haven't been able to get hold of her at her home, which leads me to assume you can't keep your dick in your pants for a single day, so tell her Toby wants to see her at seven tomorrow morning.
Since Donna had already approached me about the Communications job, I'm going to have to tell her it's been filled. Wait. Or would you like to do that? And while you're at it, would you like to tell her *why* it's been filled, and so quickly? And maybe at the same time you could explain why, when the woman has clearly devoted her entire life to you, you felt it was perfectly okay to screw your new assistant?
Maybe I'm not being fair to you. Wait. I don't care. You're an immature, womanizing egomaniac, and if the press carries any insinuation that you're screwing your former assistant--a woman young enough to be your daughter--I'll shove my fist so far up your ass it'll lobotomize you, and then I'll hand you to Leo.
And let me be perfectly clear: these aren't "suggestions", jackass. This is how it's going to be.
CJ
~~~~~
Sunday 6:35 pm
One more thing. You will not be selecting your new assistant. You will have no say whatsoever. I am going to pick a temp for you who, I assure you, you will not find fuckable in the least, and you are going to suck it up and work with whomever I choose.
CJ
~~~~~
Sunday 6:45pm
Josh,
I tried calling your apartment earlier -- I thought maybe we should actually talk to each other instead of emailing. But Aisling answered your phone and was acting all strange. She said you weren't available at the moment but that she'd pass on the message.
What's going on, Josh? Are you actually making that poor girl work on a Sunday night?
Call me.
-Donna
~~~~~
Sunday, 7:02pm
CJ--
Hold the boat. Donna was going to leave me and work in Communications?
WHAT?????!!!!????
- Josh
~~~~~
Sunday, 7:15pm
CJ --
Okay. Aren't you being a bit harsh with the jackass title? And womanizing? I'm not a womanizer. I hardly ever date ANYONE! Just a thought.
Aisling will be there at 7am sharp. Don't worry about her. Of course, she's not thrilled to be leaving my office, but I totally understand that it's necessary. See? I'm easy to deal with!
As for Donna, I'll handle it. I guess I really shouldn't be surprised that she wanted out of my office...we weren't getting along there very well for a few days...I just never thought she'd actually put things into motion...She and I usually are just all talk and bluster and...yeah, I get it.
Anyway, I'll deal with it.
Thanks,
Josh
p.s. Young enough to be my daughter? Just how OLD do you think I am????
~~~~~
Sunday 11:10pm
Joshua,
You haven't called and all I can assume is that some crisis has come up at the White House. I know I told myself I'd wait until you called, but maybe it *is* easier if I just email you instead.
First -- and I really mean this, Josh -- do NOT freak out when you read what I have to say. It's really not as big a deal as it might seem at first.
I went to see the doctors yesterday morning. They were worried because my leg doesn't seem to be healing as fast as it should. (Yes, Joshua, you were absolutely right about that.) They ran some tests and it seems that I have a condition called axonotemesis. Which is just a fancy word to say that my nerve cells are short-circuiting. It's not all that serious, but it *does* mean that it will take several additional months of intense therapy for my leg to be fully functioning again.
Are you freaking out? I told you not to. Dammit! Why did I tell CJ I'd handle this in my own time?
The thing is... I don't know when I'll be able to come back to Washington. Or what it will mean when I finally do. Will I still have a job to come back to?
You were right, Joshua, we *are* friends, and I'm sorry I doubted that. And you deserved to know what was going on. I just didn't want to panic you if there wasn't any need to.
So.... that's it. The big dark secret I was keeping from you. I hope you can forgive me.
Best,
Donnatella
~~~~~
Sunday 11:50 pm
CJ -
Well, I told him. Tonight. So if he starts freaking out tomorrow, you know why.
-Donna
~~~~~
Monday, 12:10 am
No, jackass, I'm not being harsh. In fact, jackass is a pretty mild descriptor. I don't know what the hell is going on between you and Donna, but last week she was very upset and asked me to talk to Toby about a job in Communications. I drew my own conclusions, and apparently wasn't off the mark.
"I'll handle it" doesn't cut it. In case you haven't yet thought up something besides a half-assed passive-aggressive apology, believe me when I say that if you want Donna back, you are going to beg forgiveness for whatever you said or did last week that had her wanting to quit. Jesus, Josh, you of all people know she has enough to deal with right now. She needs your unconditional support.
Apart from anything else, she needs to know that her future is waiting for her here whenever she's well enough. You do realize, don't you, that if she doesn't want to work for you, then at present we can't guarantee her another position in a senior staff bullpen.
I'll throw you one bone. I'm not pissed with Aisling right now. If she works hard and Toby takes to her, she won't get grief from me. You, on the other hand, now have to keep her and your new temp happy.
And finally, I know exactly how old you are, Joshua Lyman. You like to think that because you were born the year JFK took office, you have some kind of Democratic mojo.
Don't even go down the "womanizer" road with me. Your success rate is not pertinent to this discussion. Not only are you old enough to be her father, she's nearly exactly half your age. The cliches are just piling up, aren't they? Bet they'll make punchy headlines.
CJ
~~~~~
Monday 1:10 am
Hi Donna,
Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. I've been doing some thinking about what you said before, and about what the doctor has told you, and I think I was wrong.
You need to stay in Wisconsin and heal. Things are incredibly stressful here and you wouldn't get better any more quickly. Your family and friends and a familiar doctor monitoring your long-term care are best for you.
Don't give Idiot Boy another thought. I'll take care of it. He owes me and as of now I'm going to keep him on a firm leash. You won't hear any more complaints.
Regarding the job in Communications, Josh's temp Aisling will be moving over to that bullpen. I'm going to find the oldest, most wrinkled ex-dominatrix on the Beltway to work with Josh. Look--don't worry about your job. You know you'll always have a place here, whenever you get back. You concentrate on getting better.
Love,
CJ
~~~~~
Monday 10:00 am
Josh,
Your new assistant will arrive after lunch. Her name is Melinda Cooper-Clarke and she will be working with you for the foreseeable future.
She has a Masters in Political Science from UC Berkeley, has run the inner office of two United States senators and one governor, and is extremely competent. You will not be able to shake, break, or make her. She's a fast learner--just let her do what she does best.
You're welcome.
CJ
~~~~~
Monday, 10:05am
Dear Donna,
I've cancelled all of my morning appointments so that I would have a clear head to write to you. I think you'll understand why by the end of this.
First off -- I want the name of your doctor so that I can call him and hear more about this 'axonotemesis' thing. Why has this happened? Was it the hospital in Germany screwing things up with setting the leg in the first place? If you don't tell me, I'm just going to have to Google it, and then I'll probably read the wrong thing and all hell will break loose because I'll think you're dying and I can't handle that. It was too close this last time, Donna. I can't go through that again.
Secondly, do not feel guilty at all about keeping this from me. I was a bear with you last week. I deserved all the slaps and CJ throwing mugs at my head...you didn't hear about that, did you? She's terrifying. Forgiveness doesn't come into it at all, Donnatella. Well, not at your end, at any rate.
I'm sorry you didn't get a hold of me the other night. I was in the midst of writing some important emails to CJ when you called and I let Aisling get it -- she knew I wasn't to be disturbed. So that's why you got her. And of course I don't make her work Sunday nights! That was *our* thing!
Of course you will have a job when you come back. What a stupid question to ask! I *need* you, Donna! I can't work without you! I don't know where anything is, and I'm always late for everything (well, that's not THAT new, but still), and I'm grouchy. Yes, I know I'm in a bad mood most of the time, it's not like I'm not aware or something.
But do you even want to work here? I heard about the switch to Communications.
Now it's my job to tell that that isn't going to work. Aisling has been moved there instead. I took your advice and it seems to be working out really well...but CJ and I agreed that she shouldn't be around me at work, so that the press doesn't get wind of anything improper. But it's not improper! Really! Trust me, if it was improper, *I'd* be the one hiding out in Wisconsin! Or selling the story to the press...I can't decide which.
I'm not sure of what else to say at this point. CJ rattled on about lives being devoted to each other, or something, but she's kinda loopy these days, what with juggling Ranger Rick AND Toby, so I'm not paying that much attention to her...most of the time.
So, I guess the thing is -- do you still want to come back? To be with me, I mean. Working with me. And what are you going to do between then and now?
And...yeah.
I'll keep you posted on everything. And I want daily updates on how you are...or something like that.
Can you even walk yet?
I should go. Toby wants to kill me a few times over, and I'm sure CJ isn't done getting her revenge yet either. If my obituary turns up in the Times, send flowers.
-- Josh
~~~~~
Monday, 11:24am
CJ,
Melinda. Got it.
Thanks. I...yeah, thank you.
- Jackass
~~~~~
Monday 5:30pm
He's screwing her.
He's screwing her and you knew. That's why you told me to take as long as I needed.
You know what the really ironic thing is? I always told myself that the reason nothing ever happened between us was that I was his assistant and it was improper and it would reflect poorly on the President. It's how I got through all those months of Amy. (I actually *liked* Amy, once I managed to get past the whole dating Josh thing.)
But you know what? It wasn't because I was his assistant. It's because he's just too damn scared. Well, I've had it CJ. I'm tired of putting my life on hold for Joshua Lyman, egomaniac. It's time to move on.
I'm putting in my resignation today. There's no way I can go back to working for him and I don't think I'll be able to work with her.
Take care,
Donna
~~~~
Monday 5:52pm
Your concern for me is touching, Josh. Really touching. So touching that you had to run to your assistant for comfort. I've been worried to death about how you'd react to the news that I'd be gone a lot longer than we both thought only to find out that you're... dating... your secretary. Apparently, she's a lot better than me at a lot of things, not just bringing you coffee.
And "of course she's not working on the weekend - that's our thing"? Was that supposed to be cute? Because I have to tell you, it really wasn't.
And I swear to god, if you bring up Colin one more time... You want to know why I slept with him? Fine! I slept with him because --
You know what? It isn't worth it.
Goodbye,
Donna
~~~~~
Monday 6:00pm
To: Josh Lyman
CC: Leo McGarry
Dear Mr. Lyman,
As of today, I hereby tender my resignation.
It's been an honor to serve with this administration and I appreciate all the opportunities that were given to me. However, it is time that I moved on to other things.
Regards,
Donnatella Moss