Black Belt Jones Fan Purity Test

This test is intended for entertainment purposes only. No affiliations between Stephen D. Livingston (apended by Vicky and Billy Donald), the author of this test, and the brilliant team behind Black Belt Jones are intended, nor should they be inferred. Test results will generally not hold much water on university applications. Wagering on who has got the lowest score is acceptable, but don’t cheat or else Belt may have to come out of retirement and smack the black off you. Be advised that there’s the occasional naughty word in the test questions, but it’s all in good fun and they’re all in context to the film, so if you’ve seen the movie (or been in a neighborhood playground) they’re nothing new.

The procedure for taking this test is so simple even the dimmest of Bogarts should be able to partake. Just proceed through the list of 205 questions, in any order you wish (though it’s advisable to do the questions in the individual sections in their predetermined orders… otherwise those ellipsis don’t always make sense). For every question you answer 'yes' to, keep track of your points with a pencil and a piece of paper.

You may find it more entertaining to do the test with a group of friends. This is entirely acceptable, and is encouraged. Just don’t accidentally let one person do the 1500-question Sexual Purity Test and wonder why the hell she didn’t know why Belt isn’t mentioned. As a laugh, though, maybe you can get a rich friend who hasn’t seen the film to do the test with you, place a high wager on the results, and then take them for all they’re worth and split the money. It’s up to you.

Because I’m a lazy typist, Black Belt Jones will be referred to as BBJ after the first question. The *character* of Black Belt Jones is referred to as Belt, except in a few specific questions.

Technicalities count, but don’t push your luck.

Relax, take a deep breath, and have fun.

Ready? Go!

How to Play the Home Game

Print out a copy or two or ten of the purity test. Photocopy them if you wish, and distribute as desired, though I'd appreciate it if you kept my name on them as an author credit. Who knows, maybe Jim Kelly will get word of me and invite me out to the Belt Estate. Anyway, proceed through the test as you would any other questionnaire. If you’re doing the test in a large group, you may find it easier (and more fun) to appoint a test announcer that reads out the questions in order, and you can note down your responses on any older sheet of looseleaf.

When you’re done with the test, simply tally up the number of points you got by adding up the number of questions you answer with a ‘yes’. Most questions are worth one point, others more than that, due to obscurity of an answer or necessary action. Be sure to note down which questions are worth more points that others. When you’ve got your final total, divide it by 234 (the total number of points possible) and multiply by 100 (to get a percentage).