All Points Betwixt and Between

A Hodge Podge of Canadiana

For centuries Canada has been home to  a diverse population with a unique blending of old and new.  There is no single word to describe us.  'Polite' we may be but there is so much more.  I prefer 'survivors', though even that only touches on our strength of character and resolve.

From the First Nations who tamed the land to the earliest immigrants who came to live amoung them and learn their skills; the Canadian population has always been complex.  By the time of Queen Victoria's Coronation we had established ourselves as a Nation of unique individuals with our own sense of style and  code of conduct, which was noted by many visitors and new comers.

In 1831 Joseph Bouchette, then Surveyor-General of Lower Canada, had this to say:"However remote from the vortex of the haut ton (high society) on this side of the Atlantic , the high circles are by no means strangers to the delicacies, etiquette, and refinements of European society; and by the agreeable union of French and English manners, that forms so peculiar a feature in the society of Canada, a degree of vivacity prevails, which holds a medium course between the austerity of English reserve and the ebullitions of French rhapsody" (The British Dominions in North America, Bouchette, London, 1831) Of course, due to his rank; Mr. Bouchette would have spent a great deal of time with the upper echelon, and not the grass route Canadians who would have indeed been 'strangers to the delicacies, etiquette and refineries of European Society'.

None the less, we cultivated manners, that may have seemed odd to some, but practiced religously by a population eager to become civilized in often uncivilized surroundings.   These are some of my favourites:

1.  A man must never wear a hat in the house, at the theatre or in the presence of ladies.  "He should retain his hat and gloves in his hand on entering the room.  The hat should not be laid upon a table or stand, but kept in the hand, unless it is found necessary from some cause to set it down.  In that case, place it upon the floor.  An umbrella should be left in the hall." (Complete Rules of Etiquette and the Usages of Society, 1860) 2.  Ladies kissing each other on meeting were considered ill-bred. 3.  Snuff-taking and smoking were popular resulting in it's own code of manners - When handling the snuff box it had to be done with elegant gestures.  You could smoke on a train but only with the permission of all the other passengers; however; you could not even ask for permission if a woman was present.  You could offer tobacco to a fellow passenger but it was vulger to offer it to a man of the cloth.  Timeless advice was offered by Mrs. Beecher "In those homes where the husband is permitted to smoke in any room of the house, the sons will follow the father's example, and the air of the rooms becomes like that of a public house" (A Treatise on Domestic Economy, Beecher, New York, 1849) 4.  The borrowing of hot coals was common to re-start a fire, which required a special pan and a good pair of legs, to run the coals back before the flame went out.  However, if you arrived at your neighbour's while butter was being churned you had to wait until the lady of the house was through, before expecting her to offer you the coals.  It was considered ill-mannered to simply help your self, no matter how cold your family was. 5.  Canadian town life demanded many formalities when in the company of others.  Bowing upon introduction was crucial and a bow must always be returned if seen.  This led the way to the "cut".  It was quite alright to turn your head slightly or lower your eyes to give the illusion of not seeing the bow if you did not wish to be friendly.  Then of course there was the "cut direct", where you would stare for a prolonged period of time at a person with whom you had fallen out, but this could only be used in extreme cases.  However, a gentleman could not "cut" a lady under any circumstances...."For if their eyes meet, he must bow"    (Our Deportment, Paris Ontario, 1883)

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