TGIF

By Casey Brockelman

PAGE 1

Panel 1: Intro to Juan and Ruth. The two of them are taking a shower in a large fancy shower stall in an equally fancy bathroom. We are looking at the stall from inside the bathroom, and the stall has frosted glass, so we can’t tell exactly what they look like yet. Only silhouettes. Both are terribly beautiful people with perfect bodies. Juan is Spanish, with darker skin and black hair in the latest trendy do. Ruth is a little tan, with shoulder length blonde hair. The silhouettes show that Ruth is holding her face in the spray of one of a few shower heads in the stall. Juan is looking on from behind her.

JUAN: ROUGH DAY, BABY?

RUTH: OHH, DON’T GET ME STARTED.

Panel 2: Now we are inside the shower with Juan and Ruth. Ruth still with her face in the spray of the shower, pulling the water back to get all of her hair wet. Juan is holding a bottle of shampoo squirting some in one hand. He is facing her back.

JUAN: THAT BAD, HUH?

Panel 3: Ruth still getting her hair wet. Juan has put the bottle back on a shower caddy, or built in ledge in the stall, and is rubbing his hands together.

RUTH: TODAY WAS STEWART DAY. HE’S THAT FAT RICH ASSHOLE WHO LIKES ME TO DRESS UP LIKE A HOMELESS GIRL. HE DOES ME FROM BEHIND AND MAKES ME ASK FOR FOOD. HE POURS CAVIAR ALL OVER ME, THROWS TWENTIES AT ME AND LAUGHS. RICHIE ALWAYS RUINS MY WEEK.

Panel 4: Ruth is standing back from the spray so it’s not spraying her head. Juan is shampooing her hair. She is standing as if in a trance, enjoying the shampoo.

RUTH: THERE WERE A COUPLE OTHER REPEAT CUSTOMERS. THIS GUY, MARVIN ALWAYS TREATS ME REAL NICE, BUT HE’S SO SAD ALL THE TIME. I THINK HIS WIFE DIED OR LEFT HIM OR SOMETHING.

Panel 5: Ruth is rinsing her hair now. Juan is shampooing his own hair with residual lather.

RUTH: HE ALWAYS CRIES AFTERWARDS AND I USUALLY HAVE TO CHARGE HIM AN EXTRA HOUR JUST LAYING THERE WHILE HE CRIES.

PAGE 2

Panel 1: Ruth is bending down to pick something up from the bottom of the shower stall. Juan is rinsing his hair under another sprayer.

RUTH: THIS OTHER GUY BILL HAS THIS THING FOR WOMEN WHO DRESS LIKE MEN. I HAVE TO PUT ON THIS TUXEDO AND SLICK MY HAIR BACK. HE GETS A KIND OF ROUGH, BUT HE’S A LITTLE GUY.

JUAN: ROUGH?

Panel 2: Ruth has risen up with a large loofa sponge, washing her front with it. Juan is under his own sprayer washing with a bar of soap.

RUTH: IT’S NOT THAT BAD. VERN IS ALWAYS NEARBY IN CASE I NEED HIM. BILL JUST SLAPS MY ASS. A LOT.

JUAN: OH. SO THEY WERE ALL BAD CUSTOMERS TODAY, HUH?

Panel 3: Juan is at Ruth’s back again. She is facing the water letting it spray her front. She is handing the loofa to him over her shoulder. He is reaching to take it.

RUTH: NAH. THIS ONE GUY, SAM ALWAYS CALLS ME TO HIS HOUSE AND HAS ME WORK HIS WIFE WHILE HE BEATS IT. HE’S SUCH A NICE GUY. HE ALWAYS TREATS ME LIKE A GUEST. ASKS IF I WANT TEA. TREATS ME LIKE A REGULAR PERSON, YOU KNOW?

JUAN: YEAH.

Panel 4: Juan is washing Ruth’s back with the loofa. She is leaning her head forward to get her hair off of her back.

RUTH: BUT THE LAST GUY. SAID HIS NAME WAS SATAN. SCARY MOTHER FUCKER, BABY. KIND OF A SHORT STOCKY GUY, BUT HE WAS HUNG LIKE A FRIGGIN’ BULL ELEPHANT! I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA BUST THROUGH SOMETHING INSIDE ME.

Panel 5: Juan has stopped washing Ruth and is looking at her with worry. Ruth is turned around letting the shower rinse her back.

RUTH: HE WAS A POOR GUY. SAID HE HAD SAVED UP FOR A YEAR TO PAY FOR ME—WHOOPEE. JUST AS I LEFT HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF.

JUAN: NO SHIT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Panel 6: Ruth is turning off the shower. Juan still looking at her with the same worried look.

RUTH: HOW WAS YOUR DAY? YOU HAVE A LOT OF CALLS?

PAGE 3:

Panel 1: Ruth outside the shower reaching for one of two towels on a towel rack. Juan is turning off the other sprayer in the shower. The stall door still open from Ruth leaving.

JUAN: I HAD SIX TOTAL. EVERY ONE OVER FIFTY, AND EVERY ONE OWNED LIKE FIFTY CHIHUAHUAS. AND THEY ALL WANTED THEIR GODDAMN DOGS ON THE BED TO WATCH.

Panel 2: Ruth is vigorously drying her hair with the towel. Juan is reaching for his matching towel on the rack.

JUAN: I THINK I’M GETTING OLD. I USED TO COULD DO SIX IN A DAY NO PROBLEM, BUT NOW… THAT LAST ONE I WAS ALMOST A TOTAL WET NOODLE.

Panel 3: Ruth and Juan toweling off together.

RUTH: SO HOW MUCH LONGER DO WE HAVE, HONEY?

Panel 4: Ruth is putting her hair up into a towel turban while Juan wraps his around his waist to tuck into itself as a towel kilt.

JUAN: TWO YEARS AND THREE MONTHS. AT THAT TIME OUR PORTFOLIO WILL BE WELL OVER TEN MILLION, AND THEN WE’LL BE IN NEW ZEALAND RIDING SHINY NEW HARLEYS 'TIL WE’RE TOO OLD TO RIDE ANYMORE.

Panel 5: Ruth walking out of the bathroom into an immaculate bedroom furnished with an expensive bedroom suite, and with a couple of high class art prints on the walls. She looks a little perturbed. Wearing only the towel turban. Juan is behind her holding a hairbrush in one hand and a cordless hair dryer in the other.

RUTH: TWO YEARS…

JUAN: IT’S OKAY, BABY. COME ON. TELL ME A STORY.

PAGE 4:

Panel 1: Ruth is getting onto the bed. Moving to the center to a place where Juan can sit behind her. She still looks annoyed. Juan coming up to sit on the bed behind her. Trying to placate her.

RUTH: WHAT KIND OF STORY?

JUAN: TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT SIXTH GRADE.

Panel 2: Ruth sitting up in the middle of the bed, pulling her towel down over her shoulders. Hair all mussy. Juan already moving in to brush her hair. Ruth has a smirk on her face.

RUTH: SIXTH. HA HA. HERE’S ONE. YOU’LL LOVE THIS.

Panel 3: Juan is brushing Ruth’s hair. She is leaning her head away to help, eyes closed in semi-meditation.

RUTH: ME AND CLARA BANKS-MY BEST FRIEND WERE HAVING A SLEEPOVER. ANYWAY, WE GET TO TALKING ABOUT BOYS AND STUFF LIKE THAT, AND STARTED GETTING ALL HOT AND BOTHERED, YOU KNOW?

JUAN: YEAH?

Panel 4: Juan still brushing Ruth’s hair while blow-drying it with the dryer. Both of them are smiling now.

RUTH: SO WE GO OUTSIDE AND TAKE OFF ALL OUR CLOTHES EXCEPT FOR OUR SHOES-IT’S PROBABLY 2 IN THE MORNING. WE HAVE THESE BLANKETS WRAPPED AROUND US, AND WE WOULD JUMP OUT IN FRONT OF CARS AND FLASH 'EM.

Panel 5: Juan still brushing and drying Ruth’s hair. He is grinning. She has a raised eyebrow, and eyes open looking as far around to see him as she can and still keep her head straight.

JUAN: OH WOW! I CAN SEE YOU DOING THAT. MY CRAZY LITTLE GIRL.

RUTH: I’M NOT CRAZY.

Panel 6: Juan is leaning against Ruth’s back and is kissing her neck. Her hair now completely dry, she is reaching up over her shoulder with one hand to caress the back of his head.

JUAN: I KNOW. BUT YOU’RE MINE.

RUTH: YEAH.

PAGE 5

Panel 1: Juan is up from the bed going to a chest-of-drawers. Just so you know, there is a light switch on the wall over the chest-of-drawers. He is reaching for his towel kilt, about to take it off. Ruth is pulling the blankets back to get into bed. She is tossing her towel onto the floor.

JUAN: SO WHAT DID YOU SAY TO THE GUY WITH THE BIG DONG WHO TOLD YOU HE WAS GONNA KILL HIMSELF?

Panel 2: Ruth is getting under the covers and putting her head on her pillow. Juan has the top drawer open reaching in to it. He is dropping his towel to the floor and turning to face Ruth with surprise.

RUTH: HM. I TOLD HIM GOOD LUCK.

JUAN: NO!

Panel 3: Ruth now cozy in the bed. She pulls the covers up to her neck. Talking to Juan but not looking at him.

RUTH: YEAH. FEEL KIND OF BAD ABOUT IT NOW, BUT HE WAS A MONSTER, HONEY! HE COULD SERIOUSLY HURT A GIRL WITH LESS EXPERIENCE.

Panel 4: Juan is stepping into a pair of pajama bottoms as he talks to Ruth.

JUAN: MAN, THAT’S ROUGH. STILL, I HOPE HE DOESN’T GET A CHANCE TO SAVE UP FOR ANOTHER YEAR TO CALL YOU AGAIN.

Panel 5: Juan is reaching for the light switch on the wall. Ruth watching him.

RUTH: SHIT, HE COULD CALL ON ME TWO MORE TIMES BEFORE WE’RE READY TO RETIRE! YOU’LL NEED TO PICK IT UP, BABE. START SCHEDULING TEN A DAY.

PAGE 6

Panel 1: The light is off. Room is dark, but we can still make out Ruth and Juan. Juan is pulling his covers back to lay next to Ruth.

JUAN: OH, JESUS! I CAN BARELY HANDLE SIX, TEN WOULD KILL ME! THOSE WOMEN ARE SO OLD AND LEATHERY—EVEN ON THEIR—UH…

Panel 2: Juan is slipping under the covers. Ruth looking at him with a smirk. He’s making an uncomfortable face.

RUTH: BUTTERCUPS?

JUAN: HEH HEH. YEAH, BUTTERCUPS. LIKE FUCKING A DAMP WALLET.

Panel 3: Ruth is flinching back with a disgusted look on her face.

RUTH: OOOH, YUCK! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU KEEP IT UP FOR EVEN ONE OF ‘EM?

Panel 4: Juan is settling in under the covers. He is setting up to lay on his side facing Ruth, who is turning to face him as well.

JUAN: EASY.

Panel 5: Close in on Ruth and Juan’s faces as they lay together and are facing each other on the bed.

JUAN: I JUST CLOSE MY EYES, BABY, AND YOU’RE ALWAYS THERE.