Holiday Snaps

With autumn fast approaching, a light-hearted look at where some Village FC footballers spent their summer holidays.

1. Rhys Boore - ‘A month long cultural trip to Belgium studying the intricate architecture of Brussels and Bruges, visiting the bustling ports of Ostend and Antwerp, and meeting some delightful Belgian folk.

2. Andy Campbell - ‘Andy went off with his mum to try out some more good quality Toby Carveries and Hotels. This year he went to the Cotswolds, and, said Andy, he got in a few hands of Bridge by a crackling log fire.

3. Rob Hall - ‘For some reason, Rob jetted off to Colombia on a small twin seated aircraft. He asked us to ‘keep it quiet’, and said that he ‘won’t be gone long.’

4. Jos Ashley - Jos made a return trip to the Betty Ford Clinic in California, where he met up with some old buddies, and had one for the boys!

6. Laurie Carey - As many of you are probably aware, Laurie is currently studying for a degree with the Open University in Mediterranean Archaeology. Trilingual Lol spent the summer in Italy, France and Spain lying down in the mud. Sounds like you were right at home there Lol.

Home is where the heart is

Welcome, readers to the first in a series of in depth fact files which will help you feel closer to that happy football family, Village FC. Yes, you can now get familiar with those Saturday afternoon heroes who may have previously seemed like the golden denizens of another world. Revel in the new found knowledge that is the strident bond between your favourite Village superstars and the clubs they loyally ‘support’.

1. Dan Howard and Man United; Healthily despised by all opponents, largely due to a complete immunity to criticism. Oh yes! Fucking greedy.

2. Nick Sutton and Burnley; Small and old.

3. Dave Newton and Watford Town FC; Both of these understated institutions have recently had expensive facelifts which have generally failed to delude the public into thinking that years of anonymity and underachievement have actually changed at all.

4. Ric Bowl and Southampton; Unfashionable.

5. Laurie Carey and Sunderland; Both, annually, promise great things at the inception of a new season only to dwindle to become the ‘forgotten men’ of their peer group. Also, both fronted by little pricks.

6. Steve Hughes and Derby; Sheepshaggers.

7. Andy Hastings and Bristol City; Looking like one more season may well be beyond them.

8. Kenny Braidwood and Partick Thistle; Who and who???