My Struggle & My Victory

A Weight Loss Saga

(You may want to get a cup of coffee and relax...this is long but hopefully worthwhile reading!)

This is a story of my personal battle with eating, weight loss, regain, and obesity. I have always had those few extra pounds as a child and although I slimmed down as a teen for a few year they were only accomplished by strict and restrictive dieting. After my marriage my weight battle continued to RAGE. This problem was more than just me. It was in my family. Although my sisters were both slimmer than I ever was, they too became obese as they grew older. In fact, my mom, who was married weighing 98lbs ended up being heavy most of her adult life and by age 60 was well over 200lbs.

I started my journey as a teen looking to stay slim in order to be attractive to the opposite sex. I went on protein diets, grapefruit diets, and kept a food diary and did a calorie diet numerous times! I did manage to lose on most of these diets but I never lost more than 25 or 30lbs at the most before I couldn't take either the restrictions or the monotony. Most of the time I never even got close to losing that much before I threw in the towel. (How many months of grapefruit or how many months of protein only can one eat?!!!)

Little did I know back then, how unhealthy these diets were for me! It was just too discouraging and I hated being fat. As I grew in size my clothing choices shrunk. The affordable stores carried far fewer clothes in the "woman's" dept. vs the "misses" dept. and what they did carry looked like clown clothes for the most part. Why do designers/manufacturers think if you are overweight you have no class or taste for style? Thankfully my husband always supported my weight loss efforts and never put me down. In fact, I don't think I would have been sucessful with my weight losses in my adult life without his support. It was just TOO HARD.

Early in my marriage I went to a doctor who specialized in weight loss. To be honest I don't remember what the drug was she gave me because it was so many years ago but it was 'supposed' to be a drug that was approved in Europe but still being tested in the U.S. She was given a supply of this medication in order to conduct testing with her patients. Thinking back I wonder if she was giving me a line because I was very reveved up on these meds and suspect they were just amphetamines. My poor young husband (we were just 21yrs. old at the time) would come home from work exhausted at midnight and I would talk and ear off him going a million miles a minute! I lost 25 pds. but was high all the time, paid the doctor weekly for meds and check-ins and ended up gaining all the weight as soon as I went off the meds.

Having a close relationship with God all my life, I continued to seek Him for guidance with this problem. I felt a little bit like St. Paul with this 'thorn in my side'. Years passed and I ended up losing and regaining 25-30lbs a few times over. Most of the time I lost the weight by going on restrictive calorie diets but found with each regain that it took a lower and lower caloric intake for me to lose weight the next time. I also did the Weight Watchers diet and many more. I was miserable every time I went on these diets, though temporarily elated whenever I'd lose some weight, but each day a struggle, each day a battle. At one point I joined Overeaters Anonymous which is based totally on the Acholics Anonymous program. It was a good and helpful program for me because I had partners with which to work on the same issue and it was the first time I started dealing with the emotional reasons I overate. But, it took huge pockets of time to connect with a sponsor, then in turn become a sponsor to someone else, do homework assignments daily, not to mention going out to a meeting at least once a week if not more. O.A. was the second time I lost between 25-30lbs.

It wasn't long before I was back in my old patterns and I lost weight yet another time a little later down the road, using a calorie counting diet again. By this time I was eating more balanced but I had lost and regained so many times that now my metabolism was running so slowly I had to eat 1000 calories or less to lose anything at all. Needless to say that was not healthy and would not be a lifetime loss even if I did lose because no one can eat that little for the rest of their lives, nor would they want to! I formed groups of friends to lose weight with, I joined gyms with them (but hardly ever went), we held weekly exercise workouts together in our homes but all was short-lived with no lasting results.

I could not give up though. My dad had died at age 48 from a heart attack...blocked ateries. My grandmother had several heart attacks before she finally died and my mom had triple coronary by-pass as well. I had aunts who died from cancer as well. I couldn't afford to remain overweight which helps to maintain a high cholestrol level. With my weight and my family history I was at high risk of leaving this world early by either heart attack or cancer. Even my oldest sister had cancer twice, first uterine cancer many years ago which she seems to have beat (thank God!) and now she is in chemo and radiation for breast cancer. I am happy to say her prognosis looks good this time around as well.

I have had high cholestrol for many years now and I know the weight contributes to that. I have said all this and haven't even mentioned the discomforts of being overweight. My weight topped out several years ago at 226lbs. I am just 5'3 1/2" tall so that's a BIT of weight. I found stairs winded me all the time and I found myself doing less and less because it was just too much effort. I still fancied myself a fairly active person because I would go swimming (I wasn't going to let ego stand in the way of enjoying something I love so much!) and did other less vigerous physcial activities. But the truth be told, though I wouldn't shy from wearing a bathing suit I was always self conscience and though I tried to keep up with my husband and sons on vacations they always had to 'slow down' for Mom. They never complained, God bless their hearts, but I always felt bad for limiting our joint activities. Bike riding in the park was out of the question as was many activities we might have otherwise persued. I began having back problems and I got heartburn any time I drank a carbonated beverage. Forget about the hot summer heat...so uncomfortable for a heavy person with so many skin folds to hold the persperation! I never have been a good sleeper at night and this just seemed to worsen as well. I don't know if these symptoms had any connection at all but I do know I had them all.

Again I sought the Lord for help because He promised to be there for us in every situation. He had to have an answer for me because I surely couldn't find one! So, with my ever human and logical mind I joined a Christian weight loss group called Overeaters Victorious. It involved great fellowship and teaching as well as keeping a food diary (no calorie counting thank goodness!) and doing devotional assignments daily. I did wonderfully on it! I learned a lot more about good nutrition and about the spiritual implications of overeating and other eating disorders. I lost 30lbs with this group and grasped the biblical principles of it so well that I actually started up an Overeaters Victorious group in my own church. It was a huge success and many people came through it. All had wonderful success in the group exept for one person. I was that one person and found that as the leader and teacher of the group I couldn't stay focused enough on me to keep losing. So I formed yet another group based on the "Love Hunger" books, to continue growing and hopefully continuing losing too. I grew in spiritual and biblical truths in regard to eating and habits that will benefit me for the rest of my life. But, I did not lose any more weight. In fact, eventually I had to stop leading these groups in order to to care for my elderly and disabled mom who's needs for care were growing rapidly. By now my sons were teens and my life was crammed full of responsibilties, business and stress. Who could concentrate on eating right, or taking the time to shop right or prepare anything healthy or low fat? All the weight I had lost in Overeaters Victorious returned. Life is busy for all of us and few of us have the luxury to focus just on ourselves and our own needs. That does not mean we should not take care of ourselves though. But, taking care of my needs at the exclusion of anything else in my life was not good for me, and was not fair to my family, friends or to myself. There had to be a balance somehow. I sought God once again even though I possesed no faith I would ever find a life solution for this issue. It was June of 1997. I was 41 yrs. old and feeling really down both emotionally and physically. A friend of mine had just lost a lot of weight with some products from her doctor. She urged me to see him. I hestiated because he was not in my medical plan. She urged me still more... concerned about my health. Many of my friends seeing my gain were also concerned and some were praying for me unbeknownst to me. I finally went to this doctor who was kind enough to work out payments in such a way that it was not a big expense for me. This was a good doctor. He told me before he could give me any medication for weight loss he would have to give me a thorough exam. If there were any health problems he would not prescribe them for me. This doctor found a problem on my EKG. No meds for me! About a month later Phen-fen, the drug I went to him to obtain was taken off the market because it was found to cause heart problems. God was again answering my prayers and those of my friends and family by protecting me from that one!

My doctor was too concerned with finding out what caused the problem with my EKG to focus much on me losing weight for the time being. He scheduled me for an echogram (an ultrasound of the heart) for the beginning of the second week in July. Following that I was scheduled to go to a cardiologist office for a treadmill stress test at the end of July. While I was waiting for the test results both doctors went away leaving me hanging until mid August to get the results. I became concerned more than ever that my weight was a factor playing in my high cholestrol and heart problem and desperately wanted to find a way to take it off and keep it off! I had to find a way where I could lose the weight eating normal low fat foods but not living on a restrictive, oppressive diet. I realized I needed to change my eating for life and that would mean I could NOT go on a diet. After all, I would eventually go off any diet. I needed a miracle. I told the Lord so too. I told Him that He had to be the one to provide the way because this was a road I just could not find myself. And then it happened.

I got an email. Now mind you I have gotten many emails about weight loss products in the mail before but I always just deleted them. After all I'd been through in this area I was not going to fall for any gimmicks. I had even received in snail mail what appeared to be ads torn from a newspaper for weight loss products with "This really works" scribbled across the top giving me the impression that it was from someone I knew who was too timid to give me the information directly. I later learned that no one I knew sent it, that it was just another advertising scam of a company peddling there wares.

But, I had JUST prayed this prayer the day before and boom! I got this ad in the email for a weight loss product once again. It was from a company I'd never seen before and I was about to automatically delete it but felt maybe I should look into it since I had just asked for guidance and direction. I went to the website and read the whole thing over. This was a homepathic company who specializes in addressing specific health problems and not only did they offer products but fully explained how they work, why they work the way they do and what was in the products. They explained how one could lose weight by just eating healthily and that on these products one would not get hungry as fast and when a person did get hungry it would take a lot less than before for them to feel full. It went on to explain how certian sensors in our brains have become imbalanced or out of kilter from so much fast food and high fat eating and that these products would help a person to eat in a healthy fashion consistantly enough to allow those sensors in the brain to rebalance or to heal themselves. It sounded good but I wasn't sure if it was real or hype to sell the product. But, having asked for a directive answer to my desperate problem with obesity I felt I had to give it a try if my doctor would approve it. I honestly didn't think he would since he is a very cautious and throrough doctor. I went to see him right after having my echogram and asked him about taking the products. He hadn't heard of them but he said they sounded safe to him and approved my taking them. I ordered a two week supply and wondered if indeed they did work, how I would come up for with the money to order more? We were quite short on cash at the time. I told God then, if this is from your guidance, then I ask You to provide for the cost. My husband and I considered the products to be a medical expense. I started on the products on July 15th, 1997 and immediately, before I lost a single pound I felt alive again! The product gave me the sense of well being they described and gave me more energy in general but I never felt hyped up. Within the first week I had lost a few pounds. I continued to lose the second week too. By the start of the third week I was concerned because I was going on vacation and would be eating out nearly every night if not some days too. I didn't want to gain back any of the 10 pounds I had just lost! I went away, taking my supplements daily and hoping to at least maintain and not gain. I did indulge in not only eating out often also but also had several desserts (mostly ice cream) on vacation those 2 weeks. Every third day I ran to the local shopping center to weigh myself on their scale. If it even looked like a pound was coming back on I skipped dessert for that day and the next. I did nothing more than that while on vacation. I lost 3 more pounds those 2 weeks.

I returned home and reports came back the second week of August confirming that I had at least one blocked artery and would need an angio-gram followed by an immediate angi-plasty. It was scheduled for Oct. 4th. In the meantime I continued to take the weight loss products I bought on the internet and miraculously the money came in from a different place each time I needed to order more. I continued to lose weight steadily. I hit a platau 2X but called the company and they informed me of a way to adjust taking the products that jump started my system and broke the platau in just 2 days in both instances. Getting back to my angi-gram/angi-plasty back on Oct. 4th, 1997...I had the angi-gram but the doctor was pleasantly surprised to find that though the stress test indicated a fairly severly blocked artery back in July the angi-gram revealed it less than 50% blocked so the angio-plasty was cancelled on the spot! I was sent home with some cholestrol medication, told to take an asprin a day and see my cardiologist annually. Though the sellers of these products don't make this claim I couldn't help but wonder if they helped in clearing out the artery to some extent because there are so many healthy things in these products and while taking them I started sleeping well for the first time in my adult life, felt refreshed and even stopped getting heartburn. Even the spastic colon problem I had since my gall bladder surgery back in 1983 disappeared while taking these simple yet effective weight loss products. I am not making any claims here on behalf of the company, I'm just telling you what happened to me!

I should point out something VERY IMPORTANT!!!! This was the first time in my life I was losing weight effortlessly! I mean it. I could not believe, after all I 'd been through, that this was actually happening to me!!! I took my supplements between breakfast and lunch and then a third supplement just before bed to keep my metabolism burning efficiently 24hrs. a day. I ate as healthy as I could by chosing low fat and low sugar when I could but I by no means cut out all suger and even ate at Burger King from time to time. The only thing was I was satisfied with smaller portions so a kid's meal suited me just fine! It was HOT in the summer so I continued to have ice cream sodas 3-4 times a week (My son worked right around the corner at Baskin Robins) but I had them made with seltzer, 1/2 the chocolate syrup and only one scoop of low fat ice cream instead of 3 scoops as they normally make it. I not only was satisfied but would have been uncomfortably full if I had it made the old way.

I could eat this way the rest of my life I was sure! This was NOT a diet, I was not denying myself but a wee bit and I was eating healthly!!! Somebody pinch me!!! Now, lest you think "Oh sure, wait till she goes off the products"... I did. After 3 months and a 27lb weight loss I decided to test out the company's theory that the hypothalmus in my brain would be healed or reconditioned. I didn't order any more product and continued to eat the same way. I continued to lose weight even while off the supplements! It was still easy and I was moving right along....30lbs, 34lbs, 37lbs. 40lbs. and then BOOM! It was mid December and I received the surprise of my life. At age 41 and after 11+ years of infertility I was pregnant! I was blown away! I was also disappointed that on the way to losing 70lbs I was interrupted and faced possibly putting the weight I just lost back on. On the positive side, this weight loss put me in a much healthier state to carry a baby. It amazed me once again how God was watching out for my child by making sure I stopped taking the products a month and a half before I conceived.

Our beautiful son was born on August 1st, 1998. I gained 28 pds. total in my pregnancy and most of that in the last month to 6 weeks. From time to time I was discouraged to think about how my lovely weight loss had been robbed from me with the pregnancy but my husband would often remind me that I could do it again since now I knew what to use, and how to do it. He told me that I would lose any gained weight and more, that the products had proven themselves and now I have a reassurance I can do it that I never had before I was living proof! This gave me hope when throughout my pregnancy, something I never really had before in regard to losing weight.

I did lose all the 28 pregnancy pounds and lost them effortlessly within 10 days of giving birth. But, due to various stress factors in my life and a really wacked out system (I had several blood tests repeatedly show problems in various areas of my body chemistry) I did not go back to eating well right away and managed over the first year of my baby's life, to gain back the 28lbs. Just before my son's 1st birthday we had a death in the family which was a great emotional strain along with adjusting to having a baby in the house again after not giving birth for 15yrs! Since my son's 1st birthday we have had 2 more deaths in the family. It was only recently that I found the focus to start eating right again. I wanted to take the same products again to get me going. I had gained back to the point where I was 214lbs. again. Granted I never went all the way back up to 226lbs again for which I'm grateful but I still had 28lbs to lose just to get me to my pre-pregnancy weight and form weight loss weight!

A couple months ago I ordered the supplements again and started taking them. I was discouraged because try as I might I was not losing. I was so afraid my hormones and metabolism were so thrown off from the pregnancy that I might never lose weight again, after all these supplements were the only thing that ever worked for me! I prayed again asking God what in the world to do and then it hit me! The first time I took these products before I got pregnant, I only took 1/2 the recommended dosage and still lost all that weight! (BTW, in all my previous weight loss attempts I had never lost as much as 40lbs.) I realized with the changes the pregnancy had in my body I may need to take the full recommend dose to lose so I started taking just that. That was 3 weeks ago and this morning my scale revealled a 15lb. weight loss!!!! I am so happy because I am starting to really enjoy good food, and all food tastes so much better. I am even enjoying vegetables now which I never did previous to using these products. I marveled at that the first time I took them. I had not read it then, but have read recently on the company's website that a having people start liking foods that are healhier is something that occurs. I have 13 more pounds to go to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight and I have no doubt I will do it. This is too easy not to do it! I don't intend to stop there but plan to continue losing until I reach the goal I had orginally planned on. I am encouraged also, because I believe, just like before, I can go off these products and continue to lose and then maintain the weight loss for the rest of my life. I am convinced because of my experience with them., and because I believe the rebalancing of the senors in the brain do occur.

I thank God emensely for this great gift. With all the other weight loss programs, even the ones that brought me great spiritual and emotional healing, they still didn't heal my chemisty problems. Now I feel all three, spirit, soul and body have been addressed concerning my weight and eating issues and I'm healthier now then ever before. Best yet is I don't focus on food anymore, and have time to focus on other things without my life being consumed with eating or preparing foods. In fact, I have to be careful to remember to eat when I get busy now because the hunger just isn't there the way it used to be! (I am careful to make sure I eat regularly throughout the day if only in small snacks between meals, in order to keep my metabolism rate high and efficient rather than letting it fall so low and ineffective as it did when I was on those very low calorie diets.)

So that's my story. I hope it has encouraged someone that there is hope to lose weight and beome healthy, even after years and years of hopelessness. If you would like to know more about these products you can get info on them on my other page linked here:

"24 Weight Loss System Page on Laurel's Lane."

See my Weight Loss Photos!

If you have any further questions about my personal experience you can write me here: Laurel's Mailbox

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