"Good Country People"
By : Flannery O'Connor
Besides the neutral expression that she wore when she was alone, Mrs. Freeman
had two others, forward and reverse, that she used for all her human dealings.
Her forward expression was steady and driving like the advance of a heavy
truck. Her eyes never swerved to left or right but turned as the story turned
as if they followed a yellow line down the center of it. She seldom used the
other expression because it was not often necessary for her to retract a
statement, but when she did, her face came to a complete stop, there was an
almost imperceptible movement of her black eyes, during which they seemed to be
receding, and then the observer would see that Mrs. Freeman, though she might
stand there as real as several grain sacks thrown on top of each other, was no
longer there in spirit. As for getting anything across to her when this was the
case, Mrs. Hopewell had given it up. She might talk her head off. Mrs. Freeman
could never be brought to admit herself wrong to any point. She would stand
there and if she could be brought to say anything, it was something like, “Well,
I wouldn’t of said it was and I wouldn’t of said it wasn’t” or letting her gaze
range over the top kitchen shelf where there was an assortment of dusty bottles,
she might remark, “I see you ain’t ate many of them figs you put up last
summer.”
They carried on their most important business in the kitchen at breakfast.
Every morning Mrs. Hopewell got up at seven o’clock and lit her gas heater and
Joy’s. Joy was her daughter, a large blonds girl who had an artificial leg.
Mrs. Hopewell thought of her as a child though she was thirty-two years old and
highly educated. Joy would get up while her mother was eating and lumber into
the bathroom and slam the door, and before long, Mrs. Freeman would arrive at
the back door. Joy would hear her mother call, “Come on in,” and then they
would talk for a while in low voices that were indistinguishable in the
bathroom. By the time Joy came in, they had usually finished the weather report
and were on one or the other of Mrs. Freeman’s daughters, Glynese or Carramae.
Joy called them Glycerin and Caramel. Glynese, a redhead, was eighteen and had
many admirers; Carramae, a blonde, was only fifteen but already married and
pregnant. She could not keep anything on her stomach. Every morning Mrs.
Freeman told Mrs. Hopewell how many times she had vomited since the last report.
Mrs. Hopewell liked to tell people that Glynese and Carramae were two of the
finest girls she knew and that Mrs. Freeman was a lady and that she was
never ashamed to take her anywhere or introduce her to anybody they might meet.
Then she would tell how she had happened to hire the Freemans in the first place
and how they were a godsend to her and how she had had them four years. The
reason for her keeping them so long was that they were not trash. They were
good country people. She had telephoned the man whose name they had given as
reference and he had told her that Mr. Freeman was a good farmer but that his
wife was the nosiest woman ever to walk the earth. “She’s got to be into
everything,” the man said. “If she don’t get there before the dust settles, you
can bet she’s dead, that’s all. She’ll want to know all your business. I can
stand him real good,” he had said, “but me nor my wife neither could have stood
that woman one more minute on this place.” That had put Mrs. Hopewell off for a
few days.
She had hired them in the end because there were no other applicants but she had
made up her mind beforehand exactly how she would handle the woman. Since she
was the type who had to be into everything, then, Mrs. Hopewell had decided, she
would not only let her be into everything, she would see to it that she
was into everything – she would give her the responsibility of everything, she
would put her in charge. Mrs. Hopewell had no bad qualities of her own but she
was able to use other people’s in such a constructive way that she had kept them
four years.
Nothing is perfect. This was one of Mrs. Hopewell’s favorite sayings. Another
was: that is life! And still another, the most important, was: well, other
people have their opinions too. She would make these statements, usually at the
table, in a tone of gentle insistence as if no one held them but her, and the
large hulking Joy, whose constant outrage had obliterated every expression from
her face, would stare just a little to the side of her, her eyes icy blue, with
the look of someone who had achieved blindness by an act of will and means to
keep it.
When Mrs. Hopewell said to Mrs. Freeman that life was like that, Mrs. Freeman
would say, “I always said so myself.” Nothing had been arrived at by anyone
that had not first been arrived at by her. She was quicker than Mr. Freeman.
When Mrs. Hopewell said to her after they had been on the place for a while,
“You know, you’re the wheel behind the wheel,” and winked, Mrs. Freeman had
said, “I know it. I’ve always been quick. It’s some that are quicker than
others.”
“Everybody is different,” Mrs. Hopewell said.
“Yes, most people is,” Mrs. Freeman said.
“It takes all kinds to make the world.”
“I always said it did myself.”
The girl was used to this kind of dialogue for breakfast and more of it for
dinner; sometimes they had it for supper too. When they had no guest they ate
in the kitchen because that was easier. Mrs. Freeman always managed to arrive
at some point during the meal and to watch them finish it. She would stand in
the doorway if it were summer but in the winter she would stand with one elbow
on top of the refrigerator and look down at them, or she would stand by the gas
heater, lifting the back of her skirt slightly. Occasionally she would stand
against the wall and roll her head from side to side. At no time was she in any
hurry to leave. All this was very trying on Mrs. Hopewell but she was a woman
of great patience. She realized that nothing is perfect and that in the
Freemans she had good country people and that if, in this day and age, you get
good country people, you had better hang onto them.
She had had plenty of experience with trash. Before the Freemans she had
averaged one tenant family a year. The wives of these farmers were not the kind
you would want to be around you for very long. Mrs. Hopewell, who had divorced
her husband long ago, needed someone to walk over the fields with her; and when
Joy had to be impressed for these services, her remarks were usually so ugly and
her face so glum that Mrs. Hopewell would say, “If you can’t come pleasantly, I
don’t want you at all,” to which the girl, standing square and rigid-shouldered
with her neck thrust slightly forward, would reply, “If you want me, here I am –
LIKE I AM.”
Mrs. Hopewell excused this attitude because of the leg (which had been shot off
in a hunting accident when Joy was ten). It was hard for Mrs. Hopewell to
realize that her child was thirty-two now and that for more than twenty years
she had had only one leg. She thought of her still as a child because it tore
her heart to think instead of the poor stout girl in her thirties who had never
danced a step or had any normal good times. Her name was really Joy but
as soon as she was twenty-one and away from home, she had had it legally
changed. Mrs. Hopewell was certain that she had thought and thought until she
had hit upon the ugliest name in any language. Then she had gone and had the
beautiful name, Joy, changed without telling her mother until after she had done
it. Her legal name was Hulga.
When Mrs. Hopewell thought the name, Hulga, she thought of the broad blank hull
of a battleship. She would not use it. She continued to call her Joy to which
the girl responded but in a purely mechanical way.
Hulga had learned to tolerate Mrs. Freeman who saved her from taking walks with
her mother. Even Glynese and Carramae were useful when they occupied attention
that might otherwise have been directed at her. At first she had thought she
could not stand Mrs. Freeman for she had found it was not possible to be rude to
her. Mrs. Freeman would take on strange resentments and for days together she
would be sullen but the source of her displeasure was always obscure; a direct
attack, a positive leer, blatant ugliness to her face – these never touched
her. And without warning one day, she began calling her Hulga.
She did not call her that in front of Mrs. Hopewell who would have been incensed
but when she and the girl happened to be out of the house together, she would
say something and add the name Hulga to the end of it, and the big spectacled
Joy-Hulga would scowl and redden as if her privacy had been intruded upon. She
considered the name her personal affair. She had arrived at it first purely on
the basis of its ugly sound and then the full genius of its fitness had struck
her. She had a vision of the name working like the ugly sweating Vulcan who
stayed in the furnace and to whom, presumably, the goddess had to come when
called. She saw it as the name of her highest creative act. One of her major
triumphs was that her mother had not been able to turn her dust into Joy, but
the greater one was that she had been able to turn it herself into Hulga.
However, Mrs. Freeman’s relish for using the name only irritated her. It was as
if Mrs. Freeman’s beady steel-pointed eyes had penetrated far enough behind her
face to reach some secret fact. Something about her seemed to fascinate Mrs.
Freeman and then one day Hulga realized that it was the artificial leg. Mrs.
Freeman had a special fondness for the details of secret infections, hidden
deformities, assaults upon children. Of diseases, she preferred the lingering
or incurable. Hulga had heard Mrs. Hopewell give her the details of the hunting
accident, how the leg had been literally blasted off, how she had never lost
consciousness. Mrs. Freeman could listen to it any time as if it had happened
an hour ago.
When Hulga stumped into the kitchen in the morning (she could walk without
making the awful noise but she made it – Mrs. Hopewell was certain – because it
was ugly-sounding), she glanced at them and did not speak. Mrs. Hopewell would
be in her red kimono with her hair tied around her head in rags. She would be
sitting at the table, finishing her breakfast and Mrs. Freeman would be hanging
by her elbow outward from the refrigerator, looking down at the table. Hulga
always put her eggs on the stove to boil and then stood over them with her arms
folded, and Mrs. Hopewell would look at her – a kind of indirect gaze divided
between her and Mrs. Freeman – and would think that if she would only keep
herself up a little, she wouldn’t be so bad looking. There was nothing wrong
with her face that a pleasant expression wouldn’t help. Mrs. Hopewell said that
people who looked on the bright side of things would be beautiful even if they
were not.
Whenever she looked at Joy this way, she could not help but feel that it would
have been better if the child had not taken the Ph.D. It had certainly not
brought her out any and now that she had it, there was no more excuse for her to
go to school again. Mrs. Hopewell thought it was nice for girls to go to school
to have a good time but Joy had “gone through.” Anyhow, she would not have been
strong enough to go again. The doctors had told Mrs. Hopewell that with the
best of care, Joy might see forty-five. She had a weak heart. Joy had made it
plain that if it had not been for this condition, she would be far from these
red hills and good country people. She would be in a university lecturing to
people who knew what she was talking about. And Mrs. Hopewell could very well
picture here there, looking like a scarecrow and lecturing to more of the same.
Here she went about all day in a six-year-old skirt and a yellow sweat shirt
with a faded cowboy on a horse embossed on it. She thought this was funny; Mrs.
Hopewell thought it was idiotic and showed simply that she was still a child.
She was brilliant but she didn’t have a grain of sense. It seemed to Mrs.
Hopewell that every year she grew less like other people and more like herself –
bloated, rude, and squint-eyed. And she said such strange things! To her own
mother she had said – without warning, without excuse, standing up in the middle
of a meal with her face purple and her mouth half full – “Woman! Do you ever
look inside? Do you ever look inside and see what you are not? God!”
she had cried sinking down again and staring at her plate, “Malebranche was
right: we are not our own light. We are not our own light!” Mrs. Hopewell had
no idea to this day what brought that on. She had only made the remark, hoping
Joy would take it in, that a smile never hurt anyone. The girl had taken the
Ph.D. in philosophy and this left Mrs. Hopewell at a complete loss. You could
say, “My daughter is a nurse,” or “My daughter is a school teacher,” or even,
“My daughter is a chemical engineer.” You could not say, “My daughter is a
philosopher.” That was something that had ended with the Greeks and Romans.
All day Joy sat on her neck in a deep chair, reading. Sometimes she went for
walks but she didn’t like dogs or cats or birds or flowers or nature or nice
young men. She looked at nice young men as if she could smell their stupidity.
One day Mrs. Hopewell had picked up one of the books the girl had just put down
and opening it at random, she read, “Science, on the other hand, has to assert
its soberness and seriousness afresh and declare that it is concerned solely
with what-is. Nothing – how can it be for science anything but a horror and a
phantasm? If science is right, then one thing stands firm: science wishes to
know nothing of nothing. Such is after all the strictly scientific approach to
Nothing. We know it by wishing to know nothing of Nothing.” These words had
been underlined with a blue pencil and they worked on Mrs. Hopewell like some
evil incantation in gibberish. She shut the book quickly and went out of the
room as if she were having a chill.
This morning when the girl came in, Mrs. Freeman was on Carramae. “She thrown
up four times after supper,” she said, “and was up twict in the night after
three o’clock. Yesterday she didn’t do nothing but ramble in the bureau
drawer. All she did. Stand up there and see what she could run up on.”
“She’s got to eat,” Mrs. Hopewell muttered, sipping her coffee, while she
watched Joy’s back at the stove. She was wondering what the child had said to
the Bible salesman. She could not imagine what kind of a conversation she could
possibly have had with him.
He was a tall gaunt hatless youth who had called yesterday to sell them a
Bible. He had appeared at the door, carrying a large black suitcase that
weighted him so heavily on one side that he had to brace himself against the
door facing. He seemed on the point of collapse but he said in a cheerful
voice, “Good morning, Mrs. Cedars!” and set the suitcase down on the mat. He
was not a bad-looking young man though he had on a bright blue suit and yellow
socks that were not pulled up far enough. He had prominent face bones and a
streak of sticky-looking brown hair falling across his forehead.
“I’m Mrs. Hopewell,” she said.
“Oh!” he said, pretending to look puzzled but with his eyes sparkling, “I saw it
said ‘The Cedars’ on the mailbox so I thought you was Mrs. Cedars!” and he burst
out in a pleasant laugh. He picked up the satchel and under cover of a pant, he
fell forward into her hall. It was rather as if the suitcase had moved first,
jerking him after it. “Mrs. Hopewell!” he said and grabbed her hand. “I hope
you are well!” and he laughed again and then all at once his face sobered
completely. He paused and gave her a straight earnest look and said, “Lady,
I’ve come to speak of serious things.”
“Well, come in,” she muttered, none too pleased because her dinner was almost
ready. He came into the parlor and sat down on the edge of a straight chair and
put the suitcase between his feet and glanced around the room as if he were
sizing her up by it. Her silver gleamed on the two sideboards; she decided he
had never been in a room as elegant as this.
“Mrs. Hopewell,” he began, using her name in a way that sounded almost intimate,
“I know you believe in Chrustian service.”
“Well, yes,” she murmured.
“I know,” he said and paused, looking very wise with his head cocked on one
side, “that you’re a good woman. Friends have told me.”
Mrs. Hopewell never liked to be taken for a fool. “What are you selling?” she
asked.
“Bibles,” the young man said and his eye raced around the room before he added,
“I see you have no family Bible in your parlor, I see that is the one lack you
got!”
Mrs. Hopewell could not say, “My daughter is an atheist and won’t let me keep
the Bible in the parlor.” She said, stiffening slightly, “I keep my Bible by my
bedside.” This was not the truth. It was in the attic somewhere.
“Lady,” he said, “the word of God ought to be in the parlor.”
“Well, I think that’s a matter of taste,” she began, “I think…”
“Lady,” he said, “for a Chrustian, the word of God ought to be in every room in
the house besides in his heart. I know you’re a Chrustian because I can see it
in every line of your face.”
She stood up and said, “Well, young man, I don’t want to buy a Bible and I smell
my dinner burning.”
He didn’t get up. He began to twist his hands and looking down at them, he said
softly, “Well lady, I’ll tell you the truth – not many people want to buy one
nowadays and besides, I know I’m real simple. I don’t know how to say a thing
but to say it. I’m just a country boy.” He glanced up into her unfriendly
face. “People like you don’t like to fool with country people like me!”
“Why!” she cried, “good country people are the salt of the earth! Besides, we
all have different ways of doing, it takes all kinds to make the world go
‘round. That’s life!”
“You said a mouthful,” he said.
“Why, I think there aren’t enough good country people in the world!” she said,
stirred. “I think that’s what’s wrong with it!”
His face had brightened. “I didn’t intraduce myself,” he said. “I’m Manley
Pointer from out in the country around Willohobie, not even from a place, just
from near a place.”
“You wait a minute,” she said. “I have to see about my dinner.” She went out
to the kitchen and found Joy standing near the door where she had been
listening.
“Get rid of the salt of the earth,” she said, “and let’s eat.”
Mrs. Hopewell gave her a pained look and turned the heat down under the
vegetables. “I can’t be rude to anybody,” she murmured and went back
into the parlor.
He had opened the suitcase and was sitting with a Bible on each knee.
“I appreciate your honesty,” he said. “You don’t see any more real honest
people unless you go way out in the country.”
“I know,” she said, “real genuine folks!” Through the crack in the door she
heard a groan.
“I guess a lot of boys come telling you they’re working their way through
college,” he said, “but I’m not going to tell you that. Somehow,” he said, “I
don’t want to go to college. I want to devote my life to Chrustian service.
See,” he said, lowering his voice, “I got this heart condition. I may not live
long. When you know it’s something wrong with you and you may not live long,
well then, lady…” He paused, with his mouth open, and stared at her.
He and Joy had the same condition! She knew that her eyes were filling with
tears but she collected herself quickly and murmured, “Won’t you stay for
dinner? We’d love to have you!” and was sorry the instant she heard herself say
it.
“Yes mam,” he said in an abashed voice. “I would sher love to do that!”
Joy had given him one look on being introduced to him and then throughout the
meal had not glanced at him again. He had addressed several remarks to her,
which she had pretended not to hear. Mrs. Hopewell could not understand
deliberate rudeness, although she lived with it, and she felt she had always to
overflow with hospitality to make up for Joy’s lack of courtesy. She urged him
to talk about himself and he did. He said he was the seventh child of twelve
and that his father had been crushed under a tree when he himself was eight
years old. He had been crushed very badly, in fact, almost cut in two and was
practically not recognizable. His mother had got along the best she could by
hard working and she had always seen that her children went to Sunday School and
that they read the Bible every evening. He was now nineteen years old and he
had been selling Bibles for four months. In that time he had sold seventy-seven
Bibles and had the promise of two more sales. He wanted to become a missionary
because he thought that was the way you could do most for people. “He who
losest his life shall find it,” he said simply and he was so sincere, so genuine
and earnest that Mrs. Hopewell would not for the world have smiled. He
prevented his peas from sliding onto the table by blocking them with a piece of
bread which he later cleaned his plate with. She could see Joy observing
sidewise how he handled his knife and fork and she saw too that every few
minutes, the boy would dart a keen appraising glance at the girl as if he were
trying to attract her attention.
After dinner Joy cleared the dishes off the table and disappeared and Mrs.
Hopewell was left to talk with him. He told her again about his childhood and
his father’s accident and about various things that had happened to him. Every
five minutes or so she would stifle a yawn. He sat for two hours until finally
she told him she must go because she had an appointment in town. He packed his
Bibles and thanked her and prepared to leave, but in the doorway he stopped and
wring her hand and said that not on any of his trips had he met a lady as nice
as her and he asked if he could come again. She had said she would always be
happy to see him.
Joy had been standing in the road, apparently looking at something in the
distance, when he came down the steps toward her, bent to the side with his
heavy valise. He stopped where she was standing and confronted her directly.
Mrs. Hopewell could not hear what he said but she trembled to think what Joy
would say to him. She could see that after a minute Joy said something and that
then the boy began to speak again, making an excited gesture with his free
hand. After a minute Joy said something else at which the boy began to speak
once more. Then to her amazement, Mrs. Hopewell saw the two of them walk off
together, toward the gate. Joy had walked all the way to the gate with him and
Mrs. Hopewell could not imagine what they had said to each other, and she had
not yet dared to ask.
Mrs. Freeman was insisting upon her attention. She had moved from the
refrigerator to the heater so that Mrs. Hopewell had to turn and face her in
order to seem to be listening. “Glynese gone out with Harvey Hill again last
night,” she said. “She had this sty.”
“Hill,” Mrs. Hopewell said absently, “is that the one who works in the garage?”
“Nome, he’s the one that goes to chiropractor school,” Mrs. Freeman said. “She
had this sty. Been had it two days. So she says when he brought her in the
other night he says, ‘Lemme get rid of that sty for you,’ and she says, ‘How?’
and he says, ‘You just lay yourself down acrost the seat of that car and I’ll
show you.’ So she done it and he popped her neck. Kept on a-popping it several
times until she made him quit. This morning,” Mrs. Freeman said, “she ain’t got
no sty. She ain’t got no traces of a sty.”
“I never heard of that before,” Mrs. Hopewell said.
“He ast her to marry him before the Ordinary,” Mrs. Freeman went on, “and she
told him she wasn’t going to be married in no office.”
“Well, Glynese is a fine girl,” Mrs. Hopewell said. “Glynese and Carramae are
both fine girls.”
“Carramae said when her and Lyman was married Lyman said it sure felt sacred to
him. She said he said he wouldn’t take five hundred dollars for being married
by a preacher.”
“How much would he take?” the girl asked from the stove.
“He said he wouldn’t take five hundred dollars,” Mrs. Freeman repeated.
“Well we all have work to do,” Mrs. Hopewell said.
“Lyman said it just felt more sacred to him,” Mrs. Freeman said. “The doctor
wants Carramae to eat prunes. Says instead of medicine. Says them cramps is
coming from pressure. You know where I think it is?”
“She’ll be better in a few weeks,” Mrs. Hopewell said.
“In the tube,” Mrs. Freeman said. “Else she wouldn’t be as sick as she is.”
Hulga had cracked her two eggs into a saucer and was bringing them to the table
along with a cup of coffee that she had filled too full. She sat down carefully
and began to eat, meaning to keep Mrs. Freeman there by questions if for any
reason she showed an inclination to leave. She could perceive her mother’s eye
on her. The first round-about question would be about the Bible salesman and
she did not wish to bring it on. “How did he pop her neck?” she asked.
Mrs. Freeman went into a description of how he had popped her neck. She said he
owned a ’55 Mercury but that Glynese said she would rather marry a man with only
a ’36 Plymouth who would be married by a preacher. The girl asked what if he
had a ’32 Plymouth and Mrs. Freeman said what Glynese had said was a ’36
Plymouth.
Mrs. Hopewell said there were not many girls with Glynese’s common sense. She
said what she admired in those girls was their common sense. She said that
reminded her that they had had a nice visitor yesterday, a young man selling
Bibles. “Lord,” she said, “he bored me to death but he was so sincere and
genuine I couldn’t be rude to him. He was just good country people, you know,”
she said, “—just the salt of the earth.”
“I seen him walk up,” Mrs. Freeman said, “and then later – I seen him walk off,”
and Hulga could feel the slight shift in her voice, the slight insinuation, that
he had not walked off alone, had he? Her face remained expressionless but the
color rose into her neck and she seemed to swallow it down with the next
spoonful of egg. Mrs. Freeman was looking at her as if they had a secret
together.
“Well, it takes all kinds of people to make the world go ‘round,” Mrs. Hopewell
said. “It’s very good we aren’t all alike.”
“Some people are more alike than others,” Mrs. Freeman said.
Hulga got up and stumped, with about twice the noise that was necessary, into
her room and locked the door. She was to meet the Bible salesman at ten o’clock
at the gate. She had thought about it half the night. She had started thinking
of it as a great joke and then she had begun to see profound implications in
it. She had lain in bed imagining dialogues for them that were insane on the
surface but that reached below the depths that no Bible salesman would be aware
of. Their conversation yesterday had been of this kind.
He had stopped in front of her and had simply stood there. His face was bony
and sweaty and bright, with a little pointed nose in the center of it, and his
look was different from what it had been at the dinner table. He was gazing at
her with open curiosity, with fascination, like a child watching a new fantastic
animal at the zoo, and he was breathing as if he had run a great distance to
reach her. His gaze seemed somehow familiar but she could not think where she
had been regarded with it before. For almost a minute he didn’t say anything.
Then on what seemed an insuck of breath, he whispered, “You ever ate a chicken
that was two days old?”
The girl looked at him stonily. He might have just put this question up for
consideration at the meeting of a philosophical association. “Yes,” she
presently replied as if she had considered it from all angles.
“It must have been mighty small!” he said triumphantly and shook all over with
little nervous giggles, getting very red in the face, and subsiding finally into
his gaze of complete admiration, while the girl’s expression remained exactly
the same.
“How old are you?” he asked softly.
She waited some time before she answered. Then in a flat voice she said,
“Seventeen.”
His smiles came in succession like waves breaking on the surface of a little
lake. “I see you got a wooden leg,” he said. “I think you’re real brave. I
think you’re real sweet.”
The girl stood blank and solid and silent.
“Walk to the gate with me,” he said. “You’re a brave sweet little thing and I
liked you the minute I seen you walk in the door.”
Hulga began to move forward.
“What’s your name?” he asked, smiling down on the top of her head.
“Hulga,” she said.
“Hulga,” he murmured, “Hulga. Hulga. I never heard of anybody name Hulga
before. You’re shy, aren’t you, Hulga?” he asked.
She nodded, watching his large red hand on the handle of the giant valise.
“I like girls that wear glasses,” he said. “I think a lot. I’m not like these
people that a serious thought don’t ever enter their heads. It’s because I may
die.”
“I may die too,” she said suddenly and looked up at him. His eyes were very
small and brown, glittering feverishly.
“Listen,” he said, “don’t you think some people was meant to meet on account of
what all they got in common and all? Like they both think serious thoughts and
all?” He shifted the valise to his other hand so that the hand nearest her was
free. He caught hold of her elbow and shook it a little. “I don’t work on
Saturday,” he said. “I like to walk in the woods and see what Mother Nature is
wearing. O’er the hills and far away. Picnics and things. Couldn’t we go on a
picnic tomorrow? Say yes, Hulga,” he said and gave her a dying look as if he
felt his insides about to drop out of him. He had even seemed to sway slightly
toward her.
During the night she had imagined that she seduced him. She imagined that the
two of them walked on the place until they came to the storage barn beyond the
two back fields and there, she imagined, that things came to such a pass that
she very easily seduced him and that then, of course, she had to reckon with his
remorse. True genius can get an idea across even to an inferior mind. She
imagined that she took his remorse in hand and changed it into a deeper
understanding of life. She took all his shame away and turned it into something
useful.
She set off for the gate at exactly ten o’clock, escaping without drawing Mrs.
Hopewell’s attention. She didn’t take anything to eat, forgetting that food is
usually taken on a picnic. She wore a pair of slacks and a dirty white shirt,
and as an afterthought, she had put some Vapex on the collar of it since she
did not own any perfume. When she reached the gate no one was there.
She looked up and down the empty highway and had the furious feeling that she
had been tricked, that he only meant to make her walk to the gate after the idea
of him. Then suddenly he stood up, very tall, from behind a bush on the
opposite embankment. Smiling, he lifted his hat which was new and
wide-brimmed. He had not worn it yesterday and she wondered if he had bought it
for the occasion. It was toast-colored with a red and white band around it and
was slightly too large for him. He stepped from behind the bush still carrying
the black valise. He had on the same suit and the same yellow socks sucked down
in his shoes from walking. He crossed the highway and said, “I knew you’d
come!”
The girl wondered acidly how he had known this. She pointed to the valise and
asked, “Why did you bring your Bibles?”
He took her elbow, smiling down on her as if he could not stop. “You can never
tell when you’ll need the word of God, Hulga,” he said. She had a moment in
which she doubted that this was actually happening and then they began to climb
the embankment. They went down into the pasture toward the woods. The boy
walked lightly by her side, bouncing on his toes. The valise did not seem to be
heavy today; he even swung it. They crossed half the pasture without saying
anything and then, putting his hand easily on the small of her back, he asked
softly, “Where does your wooden leg join on?”
She turned an ugly red and glared at him and for an instant the boy looked
abashed. “I didn’t mean you no harm,” he said. “I only meant you’re so brave
and all. I guess God takes care of you.”
“No,” she said, looking forward and walking fast, “I don’t even believe in God.”
At this he stopped and whistled. “No!” he exclaimed as if he were too
astonished to say anything else.
She walked on and in a second he was bouncing at her side, fanning with his
hat. “That’s very unusual for a girl,” he remarked, watching her out of the
corner of his eye. When they reached the edge of the wood, he put his hand on
her back again and drew her against him without a word and kissed her heavily.
The kiss, which had more pressure than feeling behind it, produced that extra
surge of adrenalin in the girl that enables one to carry a packed trunk out of a
burning house, but in her, the power went at once to the brain. Even before he
released her, her mind, clear and detached and ironic anyway, was regarding him
from a great distance, with amusement but with pity. She had never been kissed
before and she was pleased to discover that it was an unexceptional experience
and all a matter of the mind’s control. Some people might enjoy drain water if
they were told it was vodka. When the boy, looking expectant but uncertain,
pushed her gently away, she turned and walked on, saying nothing as if such
business, for her, were common enough.
He came along panting at her side, trying to help her when he saw a root that
she might trip over. He caught and held back the long swaying blades of thorn
vine until she had passed beyond them. She led the way and he came breathing
heavily behind her. Then they came out on a sunlit hillside, sloping softly
into another one a little smaller. Beyond, they could see the rusted top of the
old barn where the extra hay was stored.
The hill was sprinkled with small pink weeds. “Then you ain’t saved?” he asked
suddenly, stopping.
The girl smiled. It was the first time she had smiled at him at all. “In my
economy,” she said, “I’m saved and you are damned but I told you I didn’t
believe in God.”
Nothing seemed to destroy the boy’s look of admiration. He gazed at her now as
if the fantastic animal at the zoo had put its paw through the bars and given
him a loving poke. She thought he looked as if he wanted to kiss her again and
she walked on before he had the chance.
“Ain’t there somewheres we can sit down sometime?” he murmured, his voice
softening toward the end of the sentence.
“In that barn,” she said.
They made for it rapidly as if it might slide away like a train. It was a large
two-story barn, cook and dark inside. The boy pointed up the ladder that led
into the loft and said, “It’s too bad we can’t go up there.”
“Why can’t we?” she asked.
“Yer leg,” he said reverently.
The girl gave him a contemptuous look and putting both hands on the ladder, she
climbed it while he stood below, apparently awestruck. She pulled herself
expertly through the opening and then looked down at him and said, “Well, come
on if your coming,” and he began to climb the ladder, awkwardly bringing the
suitcase with him.
“We won’t need the Bible,” she observed.
“You never can tell,” he said, panting. After he had got into the loft, he was
a few seconds catching his breath. She had sat down in a pile of straw. A wide
sheath of sunlight, filled with dust particles, slanted over her. She lay back
against a bale, her face turned away, looking out the front opening of the barn
where hay was thrown from a wagon into the loft. The two pink-speckled
hillsides lay back against a dark ridge of woods. The sky was cloudless and
cold blue. The boy dropped down by her side and put one arm under her and the
other over her and began methodically kissing her face, making little noises
like a fish. He did not remove his hat but it was pushed far enough back not to
interfere. When her glasses got in his way, he took them off of her and slipped
them into his pocket.
The girl at first did not return any of the kisses but presently she began to
and after she had put several on his cheek, she reached his lips and remained
there, kissing him again and again as if she were trying to draw all the breath
out of him. His breath was clear and sweet like a child’s and the kisses were
sticky like a child’s. He mumbled about loving her and about knowing when he
first seen her that he loved her, but the mumbling was like the sleepy fretting
of a child being put to sleep by his mother. Her mind, throughout this, never
stopped or lost itself for a second to her feelings. “You ain’t said you loved
me none,” he whispered finally, pulling back from her. “You got to say that.”
She looked away from him off into the hollow sky and then down at a black ridge
and then down farther into what appeared to be two green swelling lakes. She
didn’t realize he had taken her glasses but this landscape could not seem
exceptional to her for she seldom paid any close attention to her surroundings.
“You got to say it,” he repeated. “You got to say you love me.”
She was always careful how she committed herself. “In a sense,” she began, “if
you use the word loosely, you might say that. But it’s not a word I use. I
don’t have illusions. I’m one of those people who see through to
nothing.”
The boy was frowning. “You got to say it. I said it and you got to say it,” he
said.
The girl looked at him almost tenderly. “You poor baby,” she murmured. “It’s
just as well you don’t understand,” and she pulled him by the neck, face-down,
against her. “We are all damned,” she said, “but some of us have taken off our
blindfolds and see that there’s nothing to see. It’s a kind of salvation.”
The boy’s astonished eyes looked blankly through the ends of her hair. “Okay,”
he almost whined, “but do you love me or don’tcher?”
“Yes,” she said and added, “in a sense. But I must tell you something. There
mustn’t be anything dishonest between us.” She lifted his head and looked him
in the eye. “I am thirty years old,” she said. “I have a number of degrees.”
The boy’s look was irritated but dogged. “I don’t care,” he said. “I don’t
care a thing about what all you done. I just want to know if you love me or
don’tcher?” and he caught her to him and wildly planted her face with kisses
until she said, “Yes, yes.”
“Okay then,” he said, letting her go. “Prove it.”
She smiled, looking dreamily out on the shifty landscape. She had seduced him
without even making up her mind to try. “How?” she asked, feeling that he
should be delayed a little.
He leaned over and put his lips to her ear. “Show me where your wooden leg
joins on,” he whispered.
The girl uttered a sharp little cry and her face instantly drained of color.
The obscenity of the suggestion was not what shocked her. As a child she had
sometimes been subject to feelings of shame but education had removed the last
traces of that as a good surgeon scrapes for cancer; she would no more have felt
it over what he was asking than she would have believed in his Bible. But she
was as sensitive about the artificial leg as a peacock about his tail. No one
ever touched it but her. She took care of it as someone else would his soul, in
private and almost with her own eyes turned away. “No,” she said.
“I known it,” he muttered, sitting up. “You’re just playing me for a sucker.”
“On no no!” she cried. “It joins on at the knee. Only at the knee. Why do you
want to see it?”
The boy gave her a long penetrating look. “Because,” he said, “it’s what makes
you different. You ain’t like anybody else.”
She sat staring at him. There was nothing about her face or her round
freezing-blue eyes to indicate that this had moved her; but she felt as if her
heart had stopped and left her mind to pump her blood. She decided that for the
first time in her life she was face to face with real innocence. This boy, with
an instinct that came from beyond wisdom, had touched the truth about her. When
after a minute, she said in a hoarse high voice, “All right,” it was like
surrendering to him completely. It was like losing her own life and finding it
again, miraculously, in his.
Very gently, he began to roll the slack leg up. The artificial limb, in a white
sock and brown flat shoe, was bound in a heavy material like canvas and ended in
an ugly jointure where it was attached to the stump. The boy’s face and his
voice were entirely reverent as he uncovered it and said, “Now show me how to
take it off and on.”
She took it off for him and put it back on again and then he took it off
himself, handling it as tenderly as if it were a real one. “See!” he said with
a delighted child’s face. “Now I can do it myself!”
“Put it back on,” she said. She was thinking that she would run away with him
and that every night he would take the leg off and every morning put it back on
again. “Put it back on,” she said.
“Not yet,” he murmured, setting it on its foot out of her reach. “Leave it off
for awhile. You got me instead.”
She gave a little cry of alarm but he pushed her down and began to kiss her
again. Without the leg she felt entirely dependent on him. Her brain seemed to
have stopped thinking altogether and to be about some other function that it was
not very good at. Different expressions raced back and forth over her face.
Every now and then the boy, his eyes like two steel spikes, would glance behind
him where the leg stood. Finally she pushed him off and said, “Put it back on
me now.”
“Wait,” he said. He leaned the other way and pulled the valise toward him and
opened it. It had a pale blue spotted lining and there were only two Bibles in
it. He took one of these out and opened the cover of it. It was hollow and
contained a pocket flask of whiskey, a pack of cards, and a small blue box with
printing on it. He laid these out in front of her one at a time in an
evenly-spaced row, like one presenting offerings at the shrine of a goddess. He
put the blue box in her hand. THIS PRODUCT TO BE USED ONLY FOR THE PREVENTION
OF DISEASE, she read, and dropped it. The boy was unscrewing the top of the
flask. He stopped and pointed, with a smile, to the deck of cards. It was not
an ordinary deck but one with an obscene picture on the back of each card.
“Take a swig,” he said, offering her the bottle first. He held it in front of
her, but like one mesmerized, she did not move.
Her voice when she spoke had an almost pleading sound. “Aren’t you,” she
murmured, “aren’t you just good country people?”
The boy cocked his head. He looked as if he were just beginning to understand
that she might be trying to insult him. “Yeah,” he said, curling his lip
slightly, “but it ain’t held me back none. I’m as good as you any day in the
week.”
“Give me my leg,” she said.
He pushed it farther away with his foot. “Come on now, let’s begin to have us a
good time,” he said coaxingly. “We ain’t got to know one another good yet.”
“Give me my leg!” she screamed and tried to lunge for it but he pushed her down
easily.
“What’s the matter with you all of a sudden?” he asked, frowning as he screwed
the top on the flask and put it quickly back inside the Bible. “You just a
while ago said you didn’t believe in nothing. I thought you was some girl!”
Her face was almost purple. “You’re a Christian!” she hissed. “You’re a fine
Christian! You’re just like them all – say one thing and do another. You’re a
perfect Christian, you’re…”
The boy’s mouth was set angrily. “I hope you don’t think,” he said in a lofty
indignant tone, “that I believe in that crap! I may sell Bibles but I know
which end is up and I wasn’t born yesterday and I know where I’m going!”
“Give me my leg!” she screeched. He jumped up so quickly that she barely saw
him sweep the cards and the blue box back into the Bible and throw the Bible
into the valise. She saw him grab the leg and then she saw it for an instant
slanted forlornly across the inside of the suitcase with a Bible at either side
of its opposite ends. He slammed the lid shut and snatched up the valise and
swung it down the hole and then stepped through himself. When all of him had
passed but his head, he turned and regarded her with a look that no longer had
any admiration in it. “I’ve gotten a lot of interesting things,” he said. “One
time I got a woman’s glass eye this way. And you needn’t to think you’ll catch
me because Pointer ain’t really my name. I use a different name at every house
I call at and don’t stay nowhere long. And I’ll tell you another thing, Hulga,”
he said, using the name as if he didn’t think much of it, “you ain’t so smart.
I been believing in nothing ever since I was born!” and then the toast-colored
hat disappeared down the hole and the girl was left, sitting on the straw in the
dusty sunlight. When she turned her churning face toward the opening, she saw
his blue figure struggling successfully over the green speckled lake.
Mrs. Hopewell and Mrs. Freeman, who were in the back pasture, digging up onions,
saw him emerge a little later from the woods and head across the meadow toward
the highway. “Why, that looks like that nice dull young man that tried to sell
me a Bible yesterday,” Mrs. Hopewell said, squinting. “He must have been
selling them to the Negroes back in there. He was so simple,” she said, “but I
guess the world would be better off if we were all that simple.”
Mrs. Freeman’s gaze drove forward and just touched him before he disappeared
under the hill. Then she returned her attention to the evil-smelling onion
shoot she was lifting from the ground. “Some can’t be that simple,” she said.
“I know I never could.”