Lesson 33

Because God has made man the head of the wife and family, God has given him many specific functions to fulfill in his family.
The man is to lead the family, to provide for the family,  and to protect his family.

The wife, on the other hand, has been created by God to help her husband, to uphold her husband and to encourage her husband.
As she fulfills her role as the wife in accordance with God's word, she will find her true calling in God.

The well-being of the family depends on both parents' obedience to the leading of God through His word and Spirit.
When any parent despise, reject or neglect his or her duties, the family will suffer.
However, when this happens, we must not ever give up.
This is because the power of God is always available through prayer to bring every family to perfection in Christ.

If a man is unwilling to fulfill his God-ordained duties in his family, he must not get married yet.
The same holds true for the wife who does not want to submit to her husband.
That is why marriage is not just fun and fantasy, or wine and roses; it involves duties and responsibilities before God that we are obliged to fulfill.

The husband role in the family is modeled after that of God, who calls Himself the HUSBAND of his people (Isaiah 54:5).
As the Husband of His people, God reveals Himself as their leader, protector and provider.
The husband in every family must likewise lead, protect and provide for his family.

For your Maker is your HUSBAND --
     the LORD Almighty is His name --
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
     He is called the God of all the earth.                                           (Isaiah 54:5)

As our Leader, God guides us in paths of righteousness for His name's sake (Psalm 23:3).
A husband must obey God and lead his family in the ways of God.

As our Protector, God keep us safe from the evil one (Matthew 6:13).
Husbands must likewise learn to submit to God and seek God's protection for themselves and their family members.

As our Provider, God will met all our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
Husbands likewise must always provide for the material, emotional and spiritual well-being of their family members.
If they neglect to do their duties, they are worse than unbelievers (1 Timothy 5:8).

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied his faith and is worse than as unbeliever.                                                                                          (1 Timothy 5:8)

The husband's main duty in leadership is to lead the family into the divine purpose of God.
In this way, God's righteousness is established in every area of his family life.

To do this, the husband must lead by example.
He must be a person who seeks God's will through reading God's word and through prayer.

He must be a person who obeys God's word by

God has given the wife as a helper to the husband.
He can seek her opinions and views on all matters concerning the family.
He does not have to act as the tyrant or dictator, who makes decisions all by himself.

God, having made the woman a helper to the man, will give her the words and counsel that the husband needs to hear when he makes his decisions.
The man can then weigh all the factors, the pros and the cons, and make the final decisions, as he is led by the Holy Spirit.

[Please note: The Holy Spirit leads us through our spirit. He does not have to follow the logical reasoning of man.
We are not being anti-scholarship or mindless when we take such a position.
The Holy Spirit has His own purposes to fulfill that may not seem reasonable to the mind of man a lot of the time.
Our duty is just to obey Him and not to follow our reasoning].

The word of God declares that the woman is the weaker partner in the husband and wife team (1 Peter 3:7).

A woman is physically weaker than the man.
A wife is also weaker in a husband-wife team because she is at the mercy of her husband's decisions.
Since she is commanded by God to submit to the headship of her husband, her well-being is dependent on the decisions of her husband.
If her husband makes a wrong decision, she will suffer hardships and difficulties.

A husband must therefore not make decisions without caring for the physical and emotional welfare of his wife.
She may not be ready to follow after her husband's decision physically or emotionally.
The husband will have to seek God for the right timing to carry out his decisions, even if his decisions are right by themselves.

Husbands, in the dame way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the WEAKER PARTNER and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.                                                                                          (1 Peter 3:7)

E.g. If your wife (with three young children) is  not ready to live in Yunnan to do God's work among the tribal people, do not rush ahead of God.

E.g. If you wife is not able to handle a new oppressed people who wants to stay in your house under your care and ministry, wait for God's timing.
Otherwise, she might get oppressed herself.

Since it is God who has made man the head of the family, God will give the man the necessary wisdom to lead the family.
The husband must believe in this fact and begin to lead, without timidity.
The wife must believe in this fact and begin to submit to the husband's leadership.

Since it is God Himself who has made him the head of the family, the man must turn to God daily for God's wisdom (James 1:5).
And God will always answer him, for God stands by His word.
The man may not receive the wisdom of God concerning the running of his neighbor's computer, but God will give him the wisdom to lead his family.
God wants every family to reflect His wisdom and glory.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.                 (James 1:5)

The wisdom from God to lead is not dependent on our education or social status or financial income.
It is dependent on our faith in God and on our sensitivity to the leading of the Holy Spirit.
It is dependent on our obedience to God's work (Proverbs 9:10).
For a man to receive God's wisdom, he must be submitted to God.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
     and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.            (Proverbs 9:10)

Instead, she must also pray and ask God to give her husband the necessary wisdom for his decision-making as head of the family.
Even if she has a Ph.D or is the head of her company's organization or earns more than the husband, she must submit to her husband's decision in family matters.

It is difficult enough for the husband when he seeks to obey God and lead his family in paths of godliness. The devil will oppose him all the way.
His old nature (the sinful nature, the flesh) will also oppose him.
And his wife opposes him too, then it is a great tragedy.
The wife has become a tool of the devil instead of being a helper to her husband.

E.g. If the husband wants to honor God by hosting the weekly Care Group meeting in his home, the wife must not insist on watching her favorite soap opera during the same time.

E.g. If the husband wants to obey God and give an extra 10% of the family income to the mission work in Albania, the wife must not oppose, ridicule or discourage him.

E.g. If the husband wants to buy a van instead of a car to do God's work, the wife must not throw a tantrum and harass him.

E.g. If the husband wants to buy a house in a certain part of town in order to bring God's salvation to a particular group of people, the wife must not stand in the way.
She must not put pleasure, self-interest and personal pride before God's leading for her husband.

Every Christian family is involved in spiritual warfare.
Demons are waiting to destroy us the very moment we leave God's protection.

Now I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. For this reason, and BECAUSE OF THE ANGELS, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.                                                       (1 Corinthians 11:3,9-10)

Angels (God's angels and fallen angels) are with us all the time.
When we walk in God's will, God's angels will help us in all that we do (Hebrews 1:14).
However, when we disobey God's will, we open ourselves to demonic attack by fallen angels.
If we come out of God's ordained authority over ourselves to demonic attack by fallen angels.
If we come out of God's ordained authority over our lives, we endanger ourselves.

If she attempts to force the husband, through threats, tantrums and manipulation, to follow her decision, God will not honor such a decision.

This is because God will not condone rebellion against God-ordained authority.
Nor will God allow a rebellious wife to rejoice in the success of her "victory over the husband" by allowing her decision to succeed.
In fact, by her rebellion against her husband, she makes God her enemy.

A wife must therefore not resort to the following methods to get her way:

The wife must submit to the husband as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22).
God has raised her up to be her husband's helper (Genesis 2:18-20).
She is to help him, encourage him and uphold him in all his decision-making.

God did not make a wife for man in order to torture or oppose him.
That is the work of the devil.
She is to do him good and not harm, all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:10-12).

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a HELPER suitable for him."
Now the LORD God has formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to man to see what he would cal them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable HELPER was found.                     (Genesis 2:18-20)

A wife of noble character who can find?
     She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
     and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him GOOD, not harm,
     all the days of her life.                                                          (Proverbs 31:10-12)

By submitting to his decisions, she is upholding him in his responsibilities as the head of the family.
In this way, she is encouraging her husband to obey the leading of God.
As such, she must submit to her husband's decisions joyfully and willingly.
She must submit to her husband even if he is not spiritually mature or perfect.
(Anyway, no human being, except Christ, is perfect this side of heaven).

The husband has to die to himself all the time in order to follow after the will of God.
It is therefore not always easy for a man to follow after God's leading (Luke 9:23).
Likewise, the wife must learn to die to her own desires, to her own self, in order that she may submit joyfully to the leadership decisions of her husband.

E.g. Choice of a residential area, purchase of a car, membership in a local church, an allowance for the children, tuition for the children, visit to the in-laws, etc.

As long as the husband's decisions do not go against the word of God, the wife is commanded to submit to his decisions.
However, if her husband's decision clearly contracts God's word, she must not obey him.

E.g. If the husband commands the wife not to believe in Jesus or to be baptized or to join a local church, she must obey God rather than man (Acts 4:19-20).

E.g. If her husband asks her to steal or lie, she must not agree to his wishes.

God has created the families of this earth, and He wants every family to succeed in its divine calling to reflect His image and rule this earth in His name.
He will use His power against all flesh, and against all the works of the devil to deliver, change and transform a family so that it fulfills His will.

However, if we want God to intervene, we must pray, and we must pray in faith.
And God will answer us as soon as we pray (Matthew 7:7-11).
And as we believe that we have received the answer to our prayer, God's transformation of our family will begin to take place (Mark 11:24).
No matter how hopeless a situation, God can touch and change any spouse or child, if we ask Him. For with God all things are possible (Mark 10:27).

E.g. When the wife does not want to submit to the husband's decision, the husband can cry out to God in faith and God will answer.
He must not complain to God about his wife, as Adam did (Genesis 3:12).
Complaining does not solve anything.

E.g. When the husband is irresponsible and spineless, the wife must pray and ask God to change her husband so that the will take up his role as head of the family.
If he does not want to discipline the children, if he does not want to stop the mother-in-law from spoiling the children, etc., begin to pray for him.
Do not nag. Nagging changes nothing. Nagging only bring curses upon your husband that will bind him and keep him from changing.
Only prayer in faith, to our Almighty God, changes things.

Your thought

1. List down the good features in your spouse and begin to thank God for these blessings. Was your spouse like that when you married him/her?
   Who changed your spouse for the better? Can God bring more changes?

2. Draw up a list of the godly features that you want to see in your spouse in the days ahead (Proverbs 31:10-31; Ephesians 5:22-33). Begin to pray in faith, with thanksgiving, according to this list.
   Bring a regular progress report of the answers of God to your prayers.

3. Give testimonies concerning past answers of God to prayer for your spouse.

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page