Lesson 45

Patience is the first and most important characteristic of love.
The Bible defines love in 1 Corinthians 13, the most famous chapter on love, as follows:

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.                                                                     (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

God is love (1 John 4:8,16).
God is therefore also patient, because patience is one of the manifestations of His love toward us.
In the revelation of His glory to Moses, God declares that one of the aspects of His nature is that He is patient with His people, i.e., He is slow to anger.
We are therefore always to respond with patience to others, reflecting God's character, even as God is patient.

And He passed in front of Moses, proclaiming. "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin."                                                   (Exodus 34:6-7)

Patience is "the ability to endure and deal with provocation, trouble, suffering, and inconvenience with calmness, without complaining, without showing irritation, or without getting angry."

The opposite of being patient is to be impatient or "to be easily angered".
Love is patient and is not easily angered.

Patience is needed to maintain harmony and peace whenever one party does something to provoke or irritate another party.
The party that is provoked must respond with patience if he is show love in the situation, i.e., he must remain calm and respond in a joyful manner, and not complain, or show his irritation or get angry with the other party.

Listed below are some examples of common provocations in life that can lead a person to lose his patience.
Given with it is another list on the manifestations of impatience.
These lists are given so that we may be aware of the possible situations we face which can lead us to become impatient, in order that we may be prepared to respond in love instead.

Many situations arise daily where we will be provoked by others, including the following:

We can show our impatience either physically or verbally; both ways are equally sinful before God.

Physical manifestation of impatience:

Verbal manifestation of impatience:

When we are not walking in patience toward others, we are not walking in love.
We are not obeying God's command to "Love your neighbors as yourself" (Luke 10:25-37).
We have displeased God and grieved the Holy Spirit.

As God's children we are commanded to live as sons of God, so that others may see our good works and glorify him (Matthew 5:16; 43-45).
By being impatient with others, especially unbelievers, we bring shame to our God because we are not reflecting his character before the world.
Others are offended at our lack of love and they are turned off the Gospel because of our ungodly behavior.

It is God's desire for every member of the body of Christ to build up one another in love, so that the body can become mature (Ephesians 4:15-16).
When we are impatient with others, we are not building them up; instead we are tearing them down through our impatience and anger.
The curses spoken in anger against a brother or sister or others will bind them to failure and defeat instead of bringing them victory.

When we walk in patience, we are walking in love.
We pleases God by our obedience in loving others.
We bring glory to God's name as others see our Christ-like character.
We build up those who provoke us by our patience.

Having the following mind-set or attitude and taking the corresponding actions will help us to grow in patience.

Before we are provoked, we must determine beforehand that we will always respond with patience to all the problems we face.
We must make the choice to respond in love and not react with impatience.
We must and we an choose to obey God, no matter how trying the provocation, because of God's promise to help us in every situation.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.                                                    (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Love is a command from God, and by the grace of God and with His strength, we can always obey Him.

The Spirit will always lead us to walk in love and patience, so follow after the Spirit.
Do not give in to the desires of the flesh and respond with impatience to any provocation. Put to death the desire to show your irritation and anger.

If you live according to the sinful nature (the flesh), you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
                                                                                                                (Romans 8:13)

Whenever you are provoked, say to yourself:
"I die to irritation, I die to anger. I forgive my brother / boss / husband.
I bless him / her, in Jesus' name."

When you are provoked, quickly forgive the other person. Do not meditate on his wrong and let anger continue to rise up within you.
As you forgive the other person, God will also forgive you and show you mercy.

Forgive us our debts,
     as we also have forgiven our debtors.                                   (Matthew 6:12)

Your forgiveness sets the other person free from his debt to you.
Your forgiveness allows God to take control of the situation, and God can begin to work in the other person's life.

Pray for the will of God to be done in the situation.
Pray for God to give you grace and strength to be patient and joyful.
Pray for the other party, that he or she may grow in the specific grace of God.

E.g. "Give my son / my wife / myself more wisdom, Lord."
        "Give the bank teller more energy to serve, Lord."
        "Give me more love for my boss, Lord."

As you surrender the whole situation to God in prayer, seeking His help, God will begin to work all things out for your good and the good of the offending party.
In this way, you and others in the body of Christ will be built up into the maturity of Christ.

Also, as you begin to pray for the offending party, and ask God to bless him, you will find it easier to love him, and more difficult to judge him or find fault with him.

All believers are commanded to rejoice when we face trials and tests.
This is the only godly response to provocation of any kind, as God has commanded:

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.             (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.                               (James 1:2-4)

The reason why we can and should rejoice in every situation is that "In all things God works for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28).
When we have surrendered a situation to God through prayer, God will work all things out for our good in that situation.

Though such situations, God is molding our character, causing us to grow in perseverance, to grow in patience, to grow in endurance.
Only in this way can we become mature and complete in Christ.

Thank God for the outworking of his goodness in your life and in the lives of those who irritate or provoke you.
Thank God for those grow God has sent to provoke you, for it its only through testing and trials that you can grow to maturity in Christ.

Begin to say:
"Father God, thank you for the slow driver ahead. Bless him Lord. Thank you for slowing me down so that I will not speed today and endanger myself today."

"Father God, thank you for my son and the grades he is getting. Thank you that he has the wisdom of God, the mind of Christ, and he is getting better and better in his studies everyday because you are helping him. To you be the glory."

"Thank you for the delay in the flight to New York. I know you are in total control, for my protection and good. Praise your name. Thank you for the extra time I have here at the airport to pray and witness for you."

"Thank you Lord, for my wife. Please help her to be kind to me and not nag me so often. Thank you for changing her more and more into the likeness of Jesus every day."

Always determine beforehand that you will not respond with impatience to any provocation, but instead speak words of grace to build others up.
Any carnal believer can curse others; it takes maturity to speak words of grace.

Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear.                                                                                           (Ephesians 4:29 RSV)

Do not meditate on the evil that you will say or do to others for the wrong they have done to you.
Do not meditate in your mind and mouth as follows:
"When I see him, I will give him a tongue-lashing for being late again."
"If he fails in his Mathematics again this time after all the money I have spent on his tuition, I am going to beat the daylights out of him."

Instead, say in your heart:
"I forgive him this time for being late again. Maybe he is delayed by unavoidable circumstances."
"God will work out everything for good. I'll pray for him right now, that he is growing wiser in the Lord."
"The waiter / the counter / the shopkeeper must be busy; we will come back another day."

When you are with the offending party, peak words that edify, without anger.
Speak words that show your love and your concern for the other party:

"Don't feel bad; study harder. Let us ask God for his wisdom and help, and you will do better."
"There is no need to hurry (for the dinner, etc). By the way, you look beautiful."
"Was there any problem in getting here? Many people lose their way in this part of town."
"Don't worry about the hole in the trousers. I can always get another pair."

Even if there is correction to be made, it must be done gently, so as not to tear down the other person.
Do not yell, shout or scream at the offending party.
Do not bang the table or kink the chair.
E.g. Correction of a student by a teacher, correction of children by parents, correction of a brother or sister in the Lord.

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.                                                                            (Galatians 6:1)

In our impatience and anger, many of us fall into sin by cursing others and binding others with the words of our mouth.
This prevents the other party from growing in the grace of God to maturity.

Our words of curse also open a door for the devil to destroy that person, if we are in a position of authority over the offending party, e.g. parents over their children, teacher over his student, pastor over his members, etc.

In our desire to correct another person, we must learn to deal with the specific problem and not condemn the person.
Otherwise, we will be committing murder, and will be in danger of God's judgment and hell-fire, as Jesus taught:

You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, "Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment."
But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.
Again, anyone who says to his brother, "Raca," is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, "You fool!" will be in danger of the fire of hell.                                                                                       (Matthew 5:21-22)

Thus we must learn to correct other properly, as follows:

SAY: "Don't sleep till 9:00 AM; get up earlier and help me in the housework."
DO NOT SAY: "You lazy bum, why do you sleep everyday until so late?"

SAY: "What are you saying is not true, I honestly did not do it."
DO NOT SAY: "You are a liar."

SAY: "Don't put water into hot oil in the frying pan; it is dangerous."
DO NOT SAY: "You stupid girl; you don't even know simple cooking."

SAY: "I hope we can be on time for the wedding dinner, honey. Try to hurry up a bit with your make-up."
DO NOT SAY: "Why are you so vain?"

SAY: "Practice your Mathematics more, and I am sure you'll do better with God's help."
DO NOT SAY: "You stupid idiot, you're going to fail your exam."

SAY: "Please file this documents systematically for easy retrieval."
DO NOT SAY: "Why are you do inefficient? Where did you learn to be a secretary?"

SAY: "I believe this is a better way of doing this piece of work."
DO NOT SAY: "Why are you so dumb? Simple things also cannot understand?"

The Bible teaches us that "we reap what we sow" (Galatians 6:7).
If we judge others, we will be judged in return.
If we criticize others, we will be criticized ourselves.
However, if we show mercy to others, we will receive mercy.
If we do not show mercy to others, others will also not show mercy to us when we are wrong.

It is thus in our best interest that we should always show mercy to those who provoke us and are weaker than us, instead of being impatient and angry with them.
In return, we will continually walk under the mercies of God.
God will also be patient with us.

Blessed are the merciful,
     for they will receive mercy.                                                         (Matthew 5:7)

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged.                                                            (Matthew 7:1-2)

People who are easily irritated, and easily get angry with others, are indirectly thinking too highly of themselves.
In other words, they assume that they are already perfect and will not make stupid mistakes like others, or show the same weaknesses as others.

However, they need to realize that everyone is growing to maturity in Christ Jesus and everyone still has weaknesses and does make mistakes along the way.
They need to realize that nobody is already so mature that he will never make a mistake or never fall short of the expectation of others.

In fact, all of us do make mistakes and show character weaknesses all the time, even including those who think of themselves as being mature.
In fact, impatient believers are immature, carnal believers; they are not mature yet.
(The quality of patience in a believer is the best measure of his maturity).

If we are aware that we are all in need of God's grace and mercy as we seek to live a life pleasing to God, we will not be quick to judge others and become impatient and angry easily.

Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment.                                                       (Romans 12:3)

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.                                                                            (Galatians 6:1-3)

God is not pleased with us when we become impatient with others.
We are no longer reflecting His character before the world.
Instead, we bring shame to His name by behaving as heathens before unbelievers.

Impatience is not only a sin that brings shame to God, it also does no good whatsoever to you or to the offending party.

In fact, when we become impatient, we have given place to the devil (Ephesians 4:27).
We have enjoyed the works of the sinful nature.
We have torn down another person instead of building him up.
And we have used up a lot of physical and emotional energy which otherwise could have been used fruitfully for prayer and praise.

Impatience allows us only to satisfy the lust of our old sinful nature.
Such carnality will eventually destroy us if we allow our flesh to dominate our lives.

You, may brothers, were called to be free.
But do not use your freedom to indulge in the sinful nature (the flesh); rather, serve one another in love.
The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be DESTROYED by each others.

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature (the flesh). For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.
                                                                                                         (Galatians 5:13-17)

Your thought

1. Why are we still impatient at times?
   Give specific examples.
   

2. What should have been the godly response in each of the examples we have given above?
   

3. How can we grow to be more patient, especially with those living closest to us?
   Give specific steps we can take in order to grow in patience towards others.
   

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page