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| MACC LADS... INTERVIEW 1 INTERVIEW 2 |
| FRIDAY NIGHT, Macclesfield, Cheshire. Under the dim glow of the gaslights three utterly disgusting human wrecks, ravaged by Boddingtons and herpes, are staggering along the cobbled streets singing unprintable versions of old Monkees songs. Clutching their precious trays of chips in gravy and hurling insults at passing pooftahs they finally arrive at the Bear's Head — the mecca of Macclesfield — and with a victorious cry of 'Eh up!' they down the first of the evening's 20 pints. Vests stained with beer and vomit and worn out by hours of frenzied lust they eventually crawl home as the sun rises over the town . . . I first heard the Macc Lads courtesy of a tape which polluted the Sounds office (unnoticed) for several weeks until some inner stroke of genius moved me to give it a listen. Since then I have inflicted it on just about everyone, using it as some kind of personality test; reactions ranging from awed disbelief to instant demands for a copy indicate a balanced and healthy attitude to life, but remarks such as "What disgusting, filthy, sexist RUBBISH!" and "It's really repressive, man!" earn the Whitehouse Humourless Halibut Award. The fact is that this lot are so totally over the top you'd need to be a complete idiot to take them seriously. Like Lenny Bruce, they use naughty words and over the top bigoted ravings to poke fun at the wallies and bigots of this world. Nevertheless, many decent Northern folk don't see the joke. The Lads are banned from just about everywhere apart from Huddersfield Poly and are known to the local promoters as 'the band that hate poofs'. This is mostly due to the fact that all their songs are about their devotion to Boddingtons and their ridiculously Pythonesque aversion to homosexuals. So over a few pints of what they described as 'undrinkable London gnat's puke' I asked the three foul specimens, Muttley (bass/vocals), Stez Styx (drums) and the Beater (guitar) to explain their, er, singular attitudes to life. Muttley: "It's quite simple. We hate poofs. Blokes who can't hold their beer. That barman's a poof — you can see it a mile away." Muttley then proceeded to tell me about the day he discovered that his best mate was a poof, and the shattering effect it had on his life. "All these years we'd been together, inseparable; we formed a band together at school and did all the things that best mates do. Then one day he called me aside and said, 'Muttley, I've got something to tell you. I've turned into a poof. And I've got something to ask you. Can I sleep on your floor?' I didn't know what to say. so I said the only thing I could think of in the circumstances — 'Get stuffed!' " This sobering experience is related in the epic 'Now He's A Poof' one of the tracks on the legendary Macc Lads Tape. Other classics include 'Buenos Aires' ('There's loads of bloody fairies/In bloody Buenos Aires/With greasy hair and sweaty bums/They've never heard of Boddingtons'). Then there's 'Twenty Pints' (the subject, believe it or not of a recent Macc Lads video), an obscene version of the Monkees' theme tune and many others. I suppose it must be said that this tape is the most disgusting artefact ever recorded (it makes Judge Dredd sound like Cliff Richard) and if you decide — more fool you — to take it seriously it will be the most offensive thing you've ever heard; I can guarantee that. But as I've said before anyone who takes the Macc Lads seriously is a total wally. They are gigging sporadically at the few places which will let them play up and down the country (I've already been to one gig cancelled at short notice by a disgusted promoter) and I recommended with all my heart that you go and check them out — it will be the funniest experience you've had for ages. Musically, they're a bit like early Buzzcocks — if indeed the Macc Lads can be compared to anyone . . . As for the tape, which I regard as absolutely indispensible; it's available from Muttley, 265, Oxford Road, Macclesfield, Cheshire, for £2 including postage and packing. JOHN OPPOSITION (SOUNDS MARCH 5TH 1983 - Don't Care Archives) The official MACC LADS site more scraps of evidence here... www.macclads.fsnet.co.uk/ Some updates: The Derita Sisters will be bringing out a Macc Lads tribute album later this year (2006). Plus if your ever feeling like having a pint of Boddingtons in Macclesfield's biggest tourist trap (Bears Head) since the Macc Lads made it infamous in the 80's. You won't find it no more at 85 Mill Street, Macclesfield, Cheshire, SK11 6NN. But what you will find there is the renamed Kusch bar (pictured right) which and has now become a victim of what all real pubs eventually succumb to...and thats a pooftahs bar! |
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