I own none of this so please don't sue. I am a poor starving comic book artist.
This may contain adult or yaoi content. Read with discretion.
"Boys With Braids Whose Best Male Friends Want To Kill Them On The Next Heraldo"
Heraldo: "On today's show we have two boys with braids whose best male friends want to kill
them. May I first introduce Duo Maxwell, whose best friend Heero wants him dead. We have
Heero waiting in a soundproof booth."
Duo dances onto the set and everyone applauds. Duo sits down and makes a pouty face.
Audience: "Awwww."
Heraldo: "So let me get this straight. Your best friend Heero wants you dead."
Duo: "Yep."
Heraldo: "Why?"
Duo: "He says I'm annoying and I can't keep my mouth shut. Oh... and he *hates* my braid.
He says it's in the way and a waste. He is always tugging on it and calling me a ‘braided
baka'. He never stops being...ramble, ramble..."
Audience: "Booo!"
Heraldo: "Let's hear from Heero."
Heero walks on stage with his normal death glare.
Audience: "Boooooo! Hisssss!"
Heero takes a seat.
*Duo grins*
Heraldo: "So why do you hate Duo?"
Heero: "I don't hate him. I feel nothing for him. Emotions are a weakness."
Audience: "Booooo! Hissss!"
Heraldo: "We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors."
Insert random commercial where someone pours blue liquid in something that no one wants to
see.
Heraldo: "Ok, we're back with "boys with braids whose best friends want to kill them"."
Woman in audience: "If he has no emotions, then how can he be annoyed and want to kill Duo."
Heraldo: "That's a good question, Heero."
Heero picks up a gun out of the recesses of his spandex and shoots the woman.
Heraldo: *looks scared* "Ok, let's bring out our next guest, Ranma Soutome, who says his
best male friend, Ryoga, wants him dead."
Ranma does fancy katas and stuff as he comes out.
The audience applauds.
Duo: "Showoff. My braid is way longer than yours!"
Ranma: "I'm a guy."
Duo: "Are you sure? You sure don't look like one to me."
Ranma: "Stand up and say that!"
Heraldo: "Settle down guys. We still haven't heard why Ryoga want Ranma dead."
Duo: "I can guess."
Ranma: "Shut up."
Heero: "See what I mean."
Duo sticks his tongue out at Heero.
Heraldo: *trying to regain control of his show* "So why *does* Ryoga want you dead?"
Ranma: "Well... uh... I promised pig-boy I wouldn't tell."
Audience: "Booooo!"
Heraldo: "Maybe Ryoga could shine some light on this."
Ryoga bursts through a wall across the set.
Ryoga: "Can anyone tell me how to get to the Heraldo Show?"
Ranma: "Did I mention that Ryoga has a really poor sense of direction?"
Ryoga: "Shut up, Ranma!"
Ranma: "What's the matter, P-chan?"
Ryoga: "Who are you calling ‘P-chan'?!"
Duo: "Hey Heero, I thought *we* had issues."
Heero ignores him.
Heraldo: "So Ryoga, why do you hate Ranma?"
Ryoga: "Because he is a complete jerk who treats his fiancé badly."
Heraldo: "That hardly seems a reason to want someone dead."
Ranma: "Yeah, tell them the *real* reason, P..."
Ryoga: "Shut up Ranma!"
Heraldo: "Why do you care so much for Ranma's fiancé?"
Ryoga turns red.
Ranma: "That's a very good question."
Akane stands up in the audience.
Akane: "Leave him alone, Ranma!"
Ranma: "That's my un-cute fiancé now."
Akane pulls a mallet out of nowhere and hits Ranma with it.
A random woman in the audience stands up.
Woman: "You shouldn't be so rude to your fiancé!"
The woman throws water at Ranma.
Ranma: "What did you do that for?!"
Duo laughs so hard he falls out of his seat and tears start to form in his eyes. Ranma
turns bright red as the audience stares at him with a shocked expression.
Ranma looks at Duo.
Ranko: "Shut up."
Duo starts laughing harder as he hears Ranko's voice.
Heero: "You guys see what I mean now?"
Ranma looks at Duo.
Ranma: "Fight me!"
Shingami tears off the roof and steps on Ranma.
Duo: "I win." *grins*
Laters, plude