"I Haven't Been Sleeping" ("Therapy Is Our Friend" Side-fic)
by plude
I haven't been sleeping.
Tomorrow, I see you again.
I see you everyday.
I wish I could stay away.
That night, Heero lay in bed and thought about the day and how much he really didn't want to
go to school therapy. Since he met that braided baka, all of his sleep patterns had been
screwed up for some reason. It was starting to make him crazy, and he was going to have to
see him again tomorrow. He wished he could just get on Wing and take off to avoid all this
$hit, but he had a mission that he needed to be in the area for in a couple of months.
I try to be angry with you because you're too close to me,
but you always break my move and cost me nearly everything.
You give me reason to believe there might be something good between us.
The way you look at me, when nothing happens it makes me anxious!
#####
After the class was over, Heero had chased Duo down the hall and out of the school. He
finally caught up with him in the alley, and pushed him into a little doorway indention in
the alley. Duo had greeted him with his best innocent baka smile as Heero punched him in
the stomach. Duo just grinned and looked deep into Heero's eyes and Heero couldn't bring
himself to hit him again as he held him against the door by his wrists. Duo grinned and
looked at Heero kind of sensuously without realizing it. Heero felt sick to his stomach,
threw Duo away from him, and ran off.
#####
I haven't been sleeping.
I said tomorrow, I'd see you again.
I see you everyday.
Oh, I wish I could stay away.
Duo lay in his bed, concentrating on a certain Perfect Soldier. He couldn't shake thoughts
of the boy from his head. All he ever dreamed about anymore, except the nightmares of his
past, was the dark figure with the deep blue eyes that one could swim in. It was wrecking
his sleep. He wished that he could just stop longing to see him. He laughed as he
remembered the words that flew out of his mouth as Heero had run away earlier that day.
#####
"See ya tomorrow!"
#####
I wish that I would never have to talk to you
because you remind me of what I want so badly.
You look like you wanna kiss, kiss, and do,
but I don't want to learn what you will teach.
Heero wished that he never had to see or talk to the braided one again because maybe then
these strange feelings would go away. He was so tired of wanting him all the time.
Duo remembered the look on Heero's face just before he ran off. It almost looked like the
boy wanted to kiss him, but that couldn't be. He would have kissed Heero himself, but he
didn't want to get the crap beaten out of him.
I would rather you were gone than be tortured,
tortured by your smile.
What's the use of being alive?
Said everyday's a trial.
Heero didn't ever want to see that baka grin again. The very site made him want to just
wipe that smirk off Duo's face with his own lips. The mere thought scared him to death. He
was starting to wonder what the purpose of living was anymore. His days were haunted by
Duo's wide violet pools, and his nights, by dreams of Duo and of all the lives he himself
had ruined. The missions were becoming tedious.
I know that you will listen some day,
and I will be left alone to fly fly away,
fly away, fly away, fly away, fly away...
Tears dribbled down Heero's cheeks at the thoughts of all the mean things he had done to
Duo. He knew that one day Duo would get tired of it and start avoiding him or that one day
Duo wouldn't make it back from a mission, and he would be left alone again. He didn't know
if he was more afraid of losing him or keeping him. Sometimes, he just wanted to jump in
Wing and fly away from everything.
I haven't been sleeping.
Tomorrow I'll see you again.
I see your everyday.
I wish I could stay away, yeah away.
Heero threw off his covers and ran into the bathroom to throw some water on his face. He
*really* didn't want to go to school tomorrow. The mere thought was starting to make him
nauseous. I wished he could call in sick.
I would rather you were gone than be tortured,
tortured by your smile.
I say what's the use of being alive?
Everyday's a trial.
Heero dreaded that smile below those deep violet orbs. He worried about the thought of a
shrink noticing his reactions. Maybe, maybe if he killed himself he wouldn't have to go
through that trail one more time. Heero eyed his razor.
*****
I know, I am evil to leave it here. The next chapter of "Therapy Is Our Friend" will make up for all this angst. I promise. I just thought this would be a good side fic. ^_^
Laters, plude
This is my first song fic. I am sorry if it sux. Please send lots of feedback.
I own none of these characters, nor Engine 54's "I Haven't Been Sleeping". Please, don't sue.
This fic contains angst, adult content, and yaoi. Please read with discretion.
##### = flashback of earlier in the day, beginning and end