By Adam Parker 

Recently I have read a book by C.S. Lewis called Surprised by Joy; The Shape of My Early Life. In the book, Lewis tells of his journey from Christianity to Atheism. He then tells of his journey back to Christianity and the One True God. I must say I felt quite inspired to write of my own journey to Christianity. This little story is the end result of God's cultivation in my life.

I grew up in an evangelical Christian household. At the early age of 8 or so I memorized my first Bible verse, John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life."

I went to Sunday school on a regular basis and was read the scriptures as any Christian family would teach a boy. Also, as any young boy I loved to be bored in church. I would pass notes to my friends, bring snacks so I wouldn't starve, and I once snuck a Star Trek comic book into the service. For many years we attended a Baptist church. This is not a bad thing, but my family felt particularly unwelcome there for one reason or another. The influence the Baptist church had on me was this: Church was boring. The music was aweful. Organs are no fun to listen to. Hymns? There's gotta be better tunage than this!

In the meantime, my family searched for a church home where they could feel welcome. We found one in a nearby town. It was a Free Methodist church. The church was very small with only about 15 or 20 regular attendees. The one thing I can remember about it was that the pastor, Ken Burnham was on fire for God (whatever that meant). My family felt welcome, and more importantly, cute girls were in the congregation*.

My parents grew very much spiritually, during this time. It was a very happy time, as I can best remember it. We went on picnics, hung out with our church friends, and more importantly, we won a rabbit from one of Pastor Burnham's magic shows for the kids!

At about the age of 14, I became a very adamant reader. I read mainly books based on movies like Judge Dredd, Jurassic Park, Die Hard (yes, there was a book), and many others. Through Jurassic Park, I was introduced to Michael Crichton and his sci-fi books. I was also introduced to the theory of evolution in the book, which I innocently accepted as fact.

A downside of reading these books was 1) they were filled with filthy language, which began to appear in my speech. 2) They were extremely important in forming my acceptance of evolution. 3) They were expensive (5 whole dollars) and I didn't have money.

I suppose at about the age of 16 my hormones really began a churning, and I was introduced through new eyes to the female. What exquisite beauty, I thought! A true work of art worthy of the greatest museums in the world. My friends of course, loved to date and it seemed Travis had a girlfriend every other day. I wanted what he had. Girls always seemed to want him. I realize now of course, that these desires were foolish and not having girlfriends during my early hormone years saved me from much heartache.

Most importantly at this age, though, I began to ask the big question: Where did I come from and why am I here? My immediate answer was, God made me. But slowly, ever slowly, I believe, the world began working at me until finally, one day, I decided that the stories told in church were just stories. I decided they were fairy tales used to make a man feel good (which they seemed to do!). I finally decided that Darwin was right and I was just a product of random selection.

Upon this monumental decision, I was freed from the ravaging guilt of my sinful desires. Why? Well my sins were just the product of mindless chemical reactions. I truly and honestly believed this for the next year. God was dead and I had killed Him. I began laughing to myself when the Christians around me spoke of their faith. I was so sure that the Christian faith was wrong that I really only went to church because my parents made me and there were girls there. The pastor would say that God had spoken and I would say to myself, "Don't these fools know that God is just a fairy tale? I know so much more than they do!"

While I am ashamed to admit these aweful thoughts now, I say that they were very major in my atheist life. At the time what seemed to be my own common sense, I now recognize to be the enemy doing a very good job of ruining my life! During this time I also started listening to music with filthy lyrics and depressing themes. I became a very sad and dark young man. Strangely enough, I enjoyed being wrapped in my own sorrow and anger. Metallica, AC/AD, Creed, Stabbing Westward, and many other bands became my favorite tunage. How sad it is to look back at those times.

Eventually, I began to hang out with some friends who were Christians. I didn't really care if they were Christians as long as I had a good time. I laughed at their beliefs on the inside, but (of course) quietly agreed with their views on the outside. I was playing the game! If there was a God, I honestly thought I'd still get into heaven.

In January of 1999, I turned 17 years old. This was a turning point in my life. Strangely enough, I cannot link my turn-around to a certain person, a certain event, or even an idea. I can only tell of what seemed to be happening.

I became very interested in the Bible's creation account. I began doubting that evolution could account for all the complexities of my body, such as my eye, and began staring at the stars night after night. Eventually, I found a book called The Fingerprint of God by Hugh Ross. This book was amazing to me because this dude was a Christian but yet he was so smart! I thought all Christians were dumb ignorant idiots! Not to mention that this book removed my doubts about God's existence. He was out there, but did that mean the Bible was right? I was skeptical.

I received a Bible for Christmas. This was no big deal to me, except that my name was engraved on the front of it. It was a big deal to me. I was really going to have to read this! They spent the money, now I was almost obligated to take a peek. I read the Genesis creation account and found myself interested. I read all of the creation and the fall of man story. Interesting.

I asked the question, "If there is no God what happens to me when I die?" I could not imagine myself not existing. As hard as I could try, the ability to imagine life on earth after my death seemed to escape me. What was going on?

In church I started paying more attention to the preacher. He made many good points and I decided that this God thing was kind of cool. I had begun to accept that Christians were actually right, but secretly, deep down in the recesses of my heart, I still doubted.

I then received another book, The Face that Demonstrates the Farce of Evolution by Hank Hanegraaff. This opened my eyes to the falicies of evolution. Over the next several months I picked up more books refuting evolution including Darwin's Black Box and Darwin on Trial. I went, "Woah! These dudes have real reasons to not believe in evolution!" It was at that point when I stopped believing in the fairy tale called macroevolution.

Now, just proving there's a God doesn't mean that Christians are right. So I asked myself, "What is the central belief of Christianity?" Jesus, was the obvious answer. If Jesus wasn't the Son of God, Christianity was wrong. I obtained a book very soon after, called The Case for Christ. This book literally changed my life. Proving beyond the shadow of a doubt that Jesus was God in human flesh, I no longer doubted and considered myself a true believer.

I was missing one very important thing that the other Christians had. Forgiveness. What was it all about? Why did I need forgiveness? Several weeks later, God laid on my heart a heavy conviction. This conviction was so heavy that I became very aware of my sinfulness. I became desperate, sad, and consumed by my sin. I needed to escape this! And then I remembered Jesus.

Jesus died on that rugged tree for a reason. I realized that God would forgive me and lift this heaviness from my tired shoulders! I quickly knelt by my bed and asked God to take away my sin and the burden. Moments later, I felt as though I had been freed from some type of prison. This actual feeling cannot be defined but I knew in that moment that there was a God and that I had been forgiven for the aweful man I'd been.

Over time, my foul language went away, I got rid of my filthy music, and more importantly, I had a new hunger for God's word. God has changed my life and there is no other way to explain it. My turning point was the realization that Christianity is a thinking-man's religion. But most importantly, it is a personal thing. It is not a public thing. My salvation experience was the first time I had truly known God's love.

It should be said that my salvation experience was a very long (at least to me it was) and drawn out process in which God removed most of my sinful desires. I can't explain it all in words here, but I can end with the moving words of our Lord Jesus.

If you don't know Jesus, you're missing out on God's plan. If you want to know more about Jesus, just e-mail me.

*Although only about 10 years old, I knew boys were supposed to like girls. And I did! I refuse to mention names just in case the females to which I am refering to someday read this.