A child, born out of spite. A child, conceived out of desperation. A love, that was NEVER meant to be. My heart broken, so many times. I'm tired of the feelings, the love, and the hate, always mixed, always together. The child shouldn't be born, it shouldn't be his. I hate her for this...
In other news, I honestly feel as if Kendra doesn't give a shit right now. She left for a college visit yesterday, and returned today. Yesterday she was very rude, on the phone, later she apologized, which is all good and well. But today it was the same story. Bullshit if you ask me. Then, when something is wrong with me, and she can tell, she barely even acts like she cares, and she almost always gets sidetracked with background shit. But whatever, its her life, she can do with it what she wants. My real issue right now is with the first person mentioned. Done now, bye.
2-13-04
Friday the 13th...scary! LOL. So whats up ladies and gents? Not much here. Actually I'm updating for a specific reason. My house has been getting blocked calls almost every day for a month or so now. Usually right after my dad gets offline (so whoever it is know's his internet habbits). And a couple of times I have recieved an anon. call during the day, when no one else is home. The person always hangs up after they hear a voice, never before. And last night, being pissed that this never ends, I picked up the phone and yelled "DON'T CALL AGAIN" before they hung up, and of course, not 30 seconds later, they called again. So I am here, to warn whom ever it maybe (guessing they probably know me, or read this site), that we will contact the police next time this happens. I am not kidding either, we have already called qwest about the problem, and the informed us to call the police, which we plan on doing. So make the decision, never call again, or you can call and tell us who you are, or you can call and hang up, then deal with the police, your chocie.
Thats all for now people, bye!
2-8-04
I am not missing this month entirely! So yeah, lastnight, and continuing into today, shit has totally hit the fan. Lastnight, Megan and I finally had it out, and we REALLY went after eachother. It was bad, lots of yelling, and finger pointing, but in the end, she was right about me. I have been a shitty friend since Kendra and I reconciled. And then today, I was supposed to go to Kendra's and watch the NHL All-Star Game. Well I decided at the last minute that it wasn't a good idea. For two reasons, 1. I didn't think she could make it to my house, and back to Eaton on time (especally with Lori in tow), and 2. Lori herself. After last night, and what she said eariler, I'm not sure I'll ever be okay with being around her again. If she would have hung around during the game, I would have wanted to leave early, and that was reason 2 1/2 that I didn't wanna go, cuz Kendra wanted to pick me up and drive me there, and leaving early wouldn't have been possible. So yeah, back to the story, after becoming pissed with me for backing out, she got all quiet, and suddenly wanted to let me go, I wanted to talk to her more, but she had her mind set, so I just hung up on her. I didn't really mean not say 'bye' but my finger pressed the button anyway. So she got all pissed, and realizing what and asshole move that was, I got online, and sent her a couple txt messages, which got to her like a half hour later. I appoligized in the messages, because i really did feel bad. I called her later, and she's still very pissed off at me, and Lori is being a cunt. So yeah, all this, and recent events in my relationship with Kendra have me thinking. Not good thoughts either. I feel like her and I need to take a break, cool things down for a while, ya know? I mean, recently, we seem to be fighting more then normal, even though its all stupid shit. But this isn't the way I want my friendship with her to go. We are begining to act like we are in a commited relationship together, and I know that I do not want that kinda relationship with anyone, as far as Kendra's feeling on the subject go, she says she doesn't want that kinda relationship either, and I believe her, so I think that MAYBE a break is a good idea. I guess her and I will have to talk it over. I guess thats all for now. I am thinking about adding a password lock to my journal, and Justine, if you read this, we really need to talk! Bye all.