I just got back from one of the best fucking concerts I have ever seen! James Blunt is a musical god! He puts so much passion, and emotion into each and every one of his songs, and his lyrics speak to everyone. I wish he would have played "Goodbye My Lover" last, or second to last, but he played it like fourth. Other then that, he played quite a few songs that he didn't have on his album, and they were all amazing as well. There were two opening acts, "Sierra Swan" and "Boy Least Likely To". Sierra Swan opened the show and he was really good, check her out if you can! Boy least likely to really...sucked. They are English, and I wish James would have left them in the pub he found them in! The entire time they played Grace and I said that it felt like they wrote music for little kids.
All in all, it was an amazing night, I will remember it forever, and I hope James comes back in the very near future!
3-26-06
I don't know what the fuck to think. Everything that I predicted would happen over the past 8 months or so, has not happened. I expceted everything to be so much different then it is. I expected life to be so much better then it is. I thought I'd be in a completely different place then I am. I have no one, nothing at all. My job sucks, my friends...don't exist...I've decided not to follow through with the whole police academy idea (it was stupid anyway). So now, once again, I'm lost, stuck, and fearful of what's to happen next. I do know one thing for sure, tomorrow night I will be avoiding the internet as much as possible. Kendra is supposed to be e-mailing me back, and I am truly freaked out thinking what she might say. Her last true e-mail was the worst news I've had since...August really, and I don't want this one to be the same kinda thing. She doesn't seem to care enough to hold back with what she wants to say anymore, when she could easily find a different way to say what she wants, and have the same meaning come across a whole lot better. I am just so fucking freaked about her words, I really don't know what to do. I suppose I always have the option to just delete the e-mail as soon as I see it, but I won't do that, I've never had the power to do that. I'm still powerless when it comes to her, and I hate it...
3-19-06
Happy St. Patricks day everyone. I hope everyone had a safe, alcohol free one (ha!).
Anyway, I am writing for a specific reason. After my last update, an old friend left a comment in my guest book. I e-mailed her at the address she left, but she never e-mailed me back. And tonight I went and read her journal for the first time in a long time. Wow, I have been out of touch for a long time. Last time I really talked to Megan was right after her grandmother died, I won't get into the conversation, but it didn't end well. I was right in the middle of all of my bullshit, and she had her own problems to deal with, so we grew apart. I really wish that wasn't the case, and I wish I knew how to persue things from here, but I don't... Sorry for everything Megan, I hope everything is going well for you!
3-7-06
This is the kind of news, that you can only cope with in one way... Don't expect to ever hear from me again, any of you...
Sometimes life seems to quiet into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark, meant to make me strong
Familiar breath of my old lies
Changed the color in my eyes
Soon he will perferate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you, and hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole... as you flew right through me
Left alone with only reflections of the memory
To face the ugly girl that's smothering me
Sitting closer than my pain
He knew each tear before it came
And soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
We kiss each other one more time
And sing this lie that's half way mine
The sword is slicing through the questions so I won't be fooled
By his angel light
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you, and hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole...as you fl?ew right through me
And up into the stars
Joy will come...
~Flyleaf
Sorrow