So, life got better for a second, but I am afraid I fucked it up already. I am scared to death that I have already made a mess of what could be the best thing I've had going for me in over a year. I'm worried that my actions tonight damaged her, and took advantage of her. I should have used my head and not got into that situation in the first place. I knew as soon as it started that it needed to stop and I indulged anyway. This is all my fault, and I just hope it doesn't bite me in the ass tomorrow. I really hope she is truly okay with everything that happened tonight.
3-21-07
Life is...getting worse by the minute. I feel like absolute shit, all the time. When I have a problem, it goes unnoticed by everyone. I am ignored and ostrasized until I'm needed, and once my job is done I am put back in the dark until the next crisis. I love to help my friends, and the people I love, but where is my help when I need it? I just want to stop feeling like shit all the time...