Hello everyone. How was your thanksgiving? Mine was, here, but now its gone. Today has been meh. I got pissed off at Justine, pissed off to the point where I'm ready to tell her that I'm never going to go over there again, and that phone conversations are off limits. I hate acting like her father, and having to "ground" her from things...but I see no other alternative. She makes it impossible for me to live my life as me. I can't act like myself around her, I can't even talk to her like a friend anymore. She gets too jealous and upset and hurt over everything. When I can't be me around her, is when she can't be around me. See...I can't even say this shit to her...cuz she'll fucking cry and say shes gonna kill herself. Its BULLSHIT! Everyone agrees. If you read this before I get a chance to talk to you Justine...please call me so we can talk. You probably don't think we have anything to talk about after you've read this...but we do, so call me. I don't want you to die, so I need you to call. As for my other issue the evening. I'm tired of letting people walk all over me, and being fucked with in friendships. So I'm going to be telling a few people to fuck off, the first to go is Samantha, more to come later no doubt. And in light of this, I'm going to put a KoRn song on here that pretty much sums everything up. Okay, its late, I gotta go now. Goodnight everone.
11-22-03
I just got off the phone with Laura King. My ex. Nice talking to her again, its been a while. Kinda makes me wish everything was like it was back then. It seems so much more simple now, everything was better. I miss those days, and I wish I could have them back. Oh well, she seems happy now, has a boyfriend, a child, and a place of her own. Shes doing pretty well, and she's been clean for almost a year now. I dont know. I'm gonna go listen to Korn, and talk to Kendra and Justine now, night all.
11-21-03
I had a revelation tonight. I will never get what I want. I can't ever truely be happy. Everything I want is just a dream, and since I will never get it, why dream? All of this focuses on two things, love, and money, the "two" things that make the world go 'round, but we all know the latter makes the world work, not the former. Moving on, my dad's being a cock sucker cuz he fucked up his truck again, and since I can't fix it, I get the blame and take the shit for it. He said that "its a long walk to AIMS on Monday" meaning I can't have my car back, well the joke is on him, I stole my spare key back, so he can walk his old stoner hippie ass to work! Moving on again... The only highlight of my day, was finally getting ready at 10:30 to go to hastings and get the new KoRn album, no one had a midnight release lastnight, so I was fucked in getting in this morning due to lack of automobile. But it was worth the wait. It kicks major fucking ass. I should have "Counting On Me" on here soon, I hope. Its the best song off the ablum in my opinion (after listening to it 3 times). So yeah, I guess that's it for now. Oh wait. I talked to my ex neighbor Andrea today, and she pretened to give a shit, but I can see through the act. She's supposed to be here tomorrow at 11, I'm hoping I can sleep till 2 again, I don't wanna see her or Trevor. Okay, I'm gonna go finish talking to Alexis now. Damn her for giving all the right answers to my questions. Blah, leaving, bye!
11-17-03
Its been quite a few days since I've updated. Sorry. I was sick for quite a while, missed a lot of school, but I am feeling better. School is going well by the way, as is life in general. I "met" someone new, her name is Alexis, and she is quite the sweet heart from what I can tell. She's very pretty as well, and I'd post her pic on here if I had her permission. Lets see, what else? Korn moved up their release date, so Thursday night, I'll be freezing my ass off to be first in line again! Oh well, its all worth it. So maybe I'll get some music on here for ya'll to enjoy when I get the album! I don't know, I'm having some mental delema's with myself, which is mostly why I'm writing. Unfortunately I cannot write down everything I'm thinking and feeling about specific things, because certain people couldn't handle it. I don't know, I've thought about starting a new Journal for some time, and keeping as private as I can, maybe that's the way to go... Who knows. I'm gonna go try and get some sleep now, bye.
11-5-03
Sorry about the boring black and white. But this needs to be a fast entry. It has come to my attention in the recent hours, that a certain someone is talking a fuck load of shit that his fag ass cannot back up! And my supposed best friend has been saying shit to him to get this all started, when it is far from her place to do so. So Megan, please don't talk to Joe about anything dealing with me. And Joe, you cock sucking faggot, if you have shit to say, say it to my face. You don't know what the fuck your talking about anyway, and if you are so fucking smart, as you claim to be, you would realize that and you would keep your fucking mouth shut! Thats all for now children. Sweet dreams!