Long time no see ya'll. Okay, it really hasn't been that long. And not much has happened. Well, except for me becoming very angry at the other sex. Chicks, well, they suck. Grace, she is totally infatuated with her b/f who she like never talks to anymore, pisses me,off I don't talk about my love/sex life, why must she talk about her's ALL THE TIME? Brooke, not much to say about her, she's just...Booke. A flirt as always, I don't mind, except for the fact that she has a b/f. Laura, my god what is with this chick. She couldn't get anything, or understand a hint if it came in the form of a dick slaping her across the face. She's just a little dense. Last but not least, Megan. My only "beef" with her is, we like never talk anymore, about anything, ever. During the week, she never get's online. And if I am lucky enough to see her during the weekend, she's always upset about volleyball, or friends, or family, or something...so she like hardly talks, she just sits there until she has to go...then when I get upset that so very little was said when she tells me she has to leave...she always says "whatever" and signs off without giving me a chance to respond. Fair? I think not. Cool? No fucking way.
This leads me to the conclusion that if shit keeps going as is with the women in my life, then I will start puting distance between me, and my female friends, just to save myself the time of being upset. Well that's about all I have to say for now, lates.
9-10-01
Did I not warn you? Did I not say that if shit didn't get better that I would start puting distance between me and all of you. Well shit got 100% worse. In less then 24 hours I've had 2 of my female friends quit on me, one I thought to be one of my best friends ever. The other...a bitch, and not just any bitch...a southern bitch. Megan, doesn't want to hear "negetive" shit about "us" anymore, no matter how fucking true it may be. I give up. Chicks are no good. They are evil. I should have learned that with Amanda. But NOOOO, Josh is just too god damn fucking stupid. So just fuck it, fuck everything. See you all in hell.
9/11/01-9/14/01
As I am sure you all know NYC was bombed by some ignorant camel jockey chicken shit rag headed pussy bitches. And that's giving them a compliment. Anyway, tis an aweful thing they did to thousands of people who have nothing to do with them. This is the biggest show of ignorance since Japan decided to bomb Pearl Harbor in WWII. Now I'm not totally sure if Bin Ladan is trying to start WWIII, but if he does, he should know that he picked the wrong people to fuck with. I know I am not the first one to say this...and I know I won't be the last...but my heart and my thoughts go out to all those who have lost their life, or lost loved ones in this ignornat act. Below are some pictures of something in the smoke...you tell me what you think it is...and also I couple of quotes I have collected over the past 3 days. One last thing, the ribbon below I suggest everyone put on their site (if your a tripod member), it's just a simple way to show you care!
Personally, I'd like to see three towers built in their place, with the middle one much taller than the other two. That way, it would look like a giant middle finger, directed straight at the fuckers who did this."
In the year of the new century and nine months/From the sky will come a great King of Terror/The sky will burn at 45 degrees (NY is on the 45th parallel)/fire approaches the great new city in the City of God there will be great thunder/Two brothers (the towers) torn apart by Chaos/While the fortress (the pentagon) endures/The great leader will succumb/The third big war will begin when the city is burning"
~Nostradamus (1654)
A Message to the Terrorists
Well, you hit the World Trade Center but you missed America. You hit the Pentagon but you missed America. You used helpless American bodies to take out other American bodies but like a poor marksman you STILL missed America.
Why?
Because of something you guys will never understand.
America isn't about a building or two, not about financial centers, not about military centers. America isn't even about a bunch of bodies. America is about an IDEA. An idea that you can go someplace where you can earn as much as you can figure out how to, live for the most part like you envisioned living, and pursue Happiness.
Go ahead and whine your terrorist whine and chant your terrorist litany. "If you cannot see my point, then feel my pain."
This concept is alien to Americans. We live in a country where we don't have to see your point, but you are free to have one. Don't know where you get the strange idea that everyone has to agree with you.
There's a spirit that tends to take over people who come to this country looking for opportunity, looking for freedom. Even if they misuse it.
You guys seem to be incapable of understanding that we don't live in America. America lives in US! American Spirit is what it's called. And killing a few thousand of us, or a few million of us, won't change it.
Most of the time, it's a pretty happy-go-lucky kind of Spirit. Until we're crossed in a cowardly manner. Then it becomes an entirely different kind of Spirit.
Wait until you see what we do with that Spirit this time.
Sleep tight, if you can. We're coming.
9-16-01
THE FINAL CHAPTER!
Just 2 days after my "offical launch" of my site (making it public to more then one person) I have decided to close and delete vipervenm800.tripod.com. It is a waste of time.
To recap the events of the day and just a few min. ago...
Megan and I got in a little fight this afternoon, nothing big, or so I thought. I get on tonight, and behold, she is still pissed. In her journal she told me to fuck off many times. She demanded an appology from me, and I'll admit that I did do something I should have said sorry for, but lets not forget that she is just as guilty. So Megan, where is my fucking appology? You fucked up too, and you can't carry over appologies from old fights sorry. And now that we have said what we have said, FUCK YOU TOO BITCH! I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING! ESPECALLY HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU! IT OBVIOUSLY WASN'T WORTH THE TIME OR EFFORT. SORRY I EVER MET YOU, SORRY I WASTED 6 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE. SORRY YOU EVER LOVED ME, SORRY FOR TELLING YOU I LOVED YOU. SORRY FOR TRYING TO BE A FRIEND. I'M SORRY FOR LAURA, AND AMANDA. I'M SORRY FOR THE SCARS I'VE CAUSED YOU. SORRY FOR GIVING A SHIT WHEN NO ONE ELSE WOULD. SORRY FOR BELIEVING YOU GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME. SORRY FOR NOT BEING PATIENT, OR FOR SAYING IM SORRY. IM SORRY FOR BEING SORRY. SORRY FOR GIVING YOU HEAVEN, SORRY FOR PUTING YOU THROUGH HELL.
I'M JUST SORRY!
But mostly I'm sorry for what I am about to do. I will miss you Megan. Bye.
As for the rest of you, I will miss you as well. But shit has to change, and so it will. Maybe someday I will see you all again. Maybe not. That all depends on the future. Until then, bye, thanks for visiting, thanks for everything.
And Megan...
"Your jokes, laughter, your smile, the simple things about you...the way you look me in the eye, that is why I love you...." ~Rich Hill
~Josh
9-19-01
Lastnight I tried to update, and of course I get another fucking error message. So wish me luck, I'm gonna try and re-create everything that I had typed before.
I wrote Megan an e-mail, it was rather sweet, and thought it could possibly save the relationship...boy was I wrong. Made things worse. Now we have lost all chances of ever getting back together. Even if we were to work things out, it probably would never lead us to the point where we were before. She seems to be caught up on this one issue. She seem's to think that me telling her I am sorry is gonna show her respect or something. Now my question is, if she is to blame just as much as I am for this, then where the fuck is my "sorry"? Where the fuck is my respect? NO WHERE. How in the fuck am I supposed to show respect for her, if I see none myself? How does that work? I'll tell you where my respect lies. My respect for her lies in the fucking gutter. Along with my respect for myself, my friends and also my family. But that's where her respect for me lies as well. But I won't let it get me down, no sir. I know that she is just as much responsible for this as I am.
And another thing in this whole situation. Megan has been "friends" with this guy named Darrian. Now I put quotes around "friends" because with the way she talks about him, makes me think she loves/loved him as much as she does/did me. It is very possible that I am wrong, that's just what it feels like. But ohh well, not my problem anymore. Bye all.
One last thing, this is one of the last entries ot my journal. I have such a lack of traffic that I doubt anyone will read this, or even care. But for those of you who do, vipervenm800.tripod.com will be open for anyone to take. I'm guessing in about a week I will shut down. But until then, check back for updates to everything. Thanx everyone.
9-23-01
Finally finally finally, I have a new(er) car. It is a 1985 Honda Prelude Si. Tight car. I love it already. Although I must say that I will miss my other piece of shit Subaru. We had some good times in that car. Some good and a lot of bad memories in that car. But oh well. Time to start over. Make new memories. All right moving on. Back to the Megan situation. We talked, we worked things out. And I have decided that it is in the best of both our interests to not get back together just yet. A break if you will. For how long you may be asking...I don't know. Is she okay with this...Hell no. And I'm sorry for that, but I'm not gonna just go out with her again because she's not okay with this break. And it would be overly stupid of me to get back with her if all it were to do is hurt both of us. So we'll let it be for a little while, see how shit works out. Next order of business. Homecoming. Do I have a date? Maybe. I would like to ask Grace, but I don't know if I will. How about other then her? Lori, the lovely person that she is, said she would go with me if she could come down this weekend. Third option, you're damn right. If worst comes to worst, I'll ask Brooke, because she too has no date. So far, that's it. If I was sure the other Brooke didn't have a date, I'd ask her. But I'm just gonna chill and see what kinda shit goes down with this too. All right, I think that about covers it. I'm out, peace.
9-24-01
I realized something today. I can't drive a fucking stick. My pour clutch is probably hurting. Okay, enough about the car, except that it looks great sitting in my drive way! Homecoming watch...no date thus far. Grace was being kinda bitchy today, so I kept my distance. As for the Megan thing. I'm so confused with that, but it seems to be going alright. I just hope it continue's to go like it is. Okay, I guess that's it for the update. Lates.
9-29-01
I have one word to describe myself...PUSSY! I am a cunt. I have no fucking balls. I mean, I can't even ask someone to homecoming. And it's not just that that pisses me off, its the whole fucking situation...it's also the fact that all week, she was more then just a bitch. She had the worst attitude ever towards me, and for what reason?? I have no idea. My #1 guess right now is that it is because her and Mark (her b.f.) are having some troubles. I mean, she broke down and cryed during class the other day because she was so upset about him. And I've known this kid was an asshole from the first time I saw the fucker. But for some odd reason, which I have yet to find out, or even begin to understand, she loves him. I find it to be bullshit, and a total and complete waste of her time. She could find someone 100 times better then him, and someone who would treat her a 100 times better then him. But oh well, I guess I'll back off. Let her make her own mistakes. I'm gonna try not to make her life my part of my problems anymore. That's is for now. Lates.
9-30-01
Well, lastnight was homecoming. And I have one simple phrase to sum up the night. NIGHT FROM HELL! Sure, I had a wonderful date. She was very sweet, and damn she looked good. But I feel as if I treated her like shit. Not for the fact that I wanted to, but because I had some other shit on my mind. Yep, that's right, Grace. For the first oh..30 min. of the dance I didn't see her, then she comes walking in hand in hand with, yep, you guessed it again...Mark. Needless to say, I was fucking pissed. This made me regret not asking her even more. And Lori, if you read this, don't take it personaly please, but I wish I never would have gone. All though one thing I will never regret is seeing Grace lastnight. One word. DAMN. Red high heals, a short red velvet skirt, and her hair was up...DAMN. That girl needs to dress like that more often, she has the body for it. Okay, enough outa me. I'm gonzo, peace.