| Pearl Diving |
 |
| Warning: The content in these pages are NOT for kids! So not minors, please!!! Welcome to 'Pearl Diving' the home of every stupid and/or dumb thing that I and/or my friends have ever said and/or done. Some of these things I just so happened to hear, some of these I was lucky enough to witness, and some, well some of these things it was I who have the dead brain moment. Also, to protect myself and those around me, some names HAVE been changed due to security reasons, while others just keep their nicknames. Though it will not take away from the content of the tales that you are about to read. Please enjoy. |
|
| Date Time Group (DTG): Lost in memory, sometime in the month of September 2004, Fort Carson, CO. BaldNuts: You can guard the Ammo Supply Point (ASP) while playing PS2! SM: It's true, I've seen it! BaldNuts: Yup, you can get all of your Military Training by playing PS2. Me: (blinks) And how the fuck do you do that? BaldNuts: Easy. Tekken Tag: Hand-to-hand Combat Training. Medal of Honor: Buddy Movement Training. HALO: Firiing Range Training. Grand Theift Auto: Convoy Training. Me: Ummm... hate to break it to you BaldNuts, but I don't think that anyone will buy that. Besides, HALO is an X-Box game not a PS2. BaldNuts: Yeah, when the Commander caught us, I tried to explain that... Me: (grins) Yeah, how'd that go? BaldNuts: (shakes his head) Not good. |
 |
| DTG: Late March/Early April 2005, Sitting in the Chow Hall, Kuwait Smudgens: Want my peanut? Me: Ummm... no. Monkey: So what you are trying stay is you don't like his peanuts? Me: (shaking head) No I don't want peanuts, I want Almonds Nuts. Smudgens: So what you are trying stay is that you want All Men's nuts? Me: AH! NO! That didn't come out right! |
| DTG: One Sat-turd-day night while drinking with my friend Smelly Shelly. We were pretty drunk and trying to play Twisted Metal: Black on the PS2. Fort Carson, CO. Smelly Shelly: (after I blew her up for the first time) AH! Me: o.O What!?! SS: HELP! MY VIBRATER'S CONTROLING!! Me: O.O WHAT!?! SS: (face beat red) Ummm... My controler's vibrating...? |
|
|
| DTG: Something that my friend, Alex, told me when he first met our old Command Sergeant Major (CSM) CSM: Hey there new Troop! Alex: Good Afternoon Sergeant Major! CSM: Relax. So the other night my wife tells me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt. Alex: Ok, Sergeant Major... (not sure on where this is going) CSM: So I fucked her three times and punched her in the mouth. |
|
| DTG: On guard duty. Iraq. (call signs have been changed) August 2005 Lower Element02 (LE02): Higher Element this is Lower Element02. Higher Element (HE): Go ahead LE02. LE02: Uh.. Roger, HE, we have a Platoon size element of sheep approaching our perimeter. HE: Roger, LE02. (a good five mintue pause of silence) LE02: HE this is LE02. HE: Go ahead. LE02: Roger HE, the sheep are now on our perimeter. HE: Roger, LE02. LE02: (getting annoyed) HE this is LE02, what do you want us to do? HE: Continue to observe, LE02. LE02: Ooohkay, LE02 Out. (10 more mintues of silence) LE02: HE this is LE02. HE: Go ahead, LE02. LE02: More sheep have placed themselves infront of our perimeter, sheep numers are now roughly about a Battalion size element. Some sheep are equipted with horns. Permission to engage. HE: NEGITIVE, LE02! DO NOT ENGAGE! I SAY AGAIN, DO NOT ENGAGE! LE02: Roger, HE, we will not engage. HE: (different voice comes over the radio) Roger, LE02, just continue to observe and make sure the sheep aren't being baaaaaaad (sheep noise inserted here). We will call QRF(Quick Reaction Force) out there to assist you. LE02: Roger , LE02 out. (45 Mintues pass by) LE02: HE, this is LE02. How is that QRF coming along? |
| Want more? |