Distant Memories

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Disclaimer:  I don’t own them, as much as I would like to it just wasn’t meant to be.

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It wasn’t the first time that he caught himself staring at his older brother, nor was it the second time.  In fact looking back since he was a child he lost count of how many times he had watched the beautiful man when he thought no one was looking. 

“What are you watching, dear,” his mother’s voice cut through his thoughts and fought down the urge to blush.

“Otousan is sparing with Sesshomaru again, Kaasan,” he told the truth, besides he was horrible at lying to his mother.

The human woman smiled and took a seat next to her only son, “They do that often, don’t they, InuYasha?”

He nodded his gaze filled with a fierce determination, “Why?”

She shrugged, looking at her husband with all the love in the world reflecting from her dark eyes, “It a dominance thing, my dear, you’ll understand when you are older.  Your Otousan is just testing your elder brother to make sure that he is strong enough to rule when he is gone.”

“Gone?” he asked, “You mean like never coming back gone, right?”

Her eyes quickly became sad, “Yes that too.”

“I want to be just like him...” his eyes and voice both reflected the awe the young teenager felt.

His mother smiled, “Your father is a very amazing person, InuYasha.”

The hanyou shook his head white locks of hair falling around his shoulders, “Not Otousan, Okaasan.  I mean Oniisan.”

Wide brown eyes turned to him, “Prince Sesshoumaru?”

Her son only nodded.

She blinked, “But why?”

A loud grunt interrupted them as the topic of discussion hit the ground with a loud thump.  Lord InuTaisho stood over his son, the point of his dull weapon upon his throat as the two glared at each other, “You are too hotheaded, Sesshoumaru.  Clear your mind and one day you will make me fall.  Now, get up!”

Prince Sesshoumaru obeyed, “Yes, My Lord,” as he got once again to his feet his breathing labored with this mornings work out.  By the Gods he was tired!

His father looked to him impassively, “Again.”

The prince nodded, “Yes, My Lord,” he repeat and once more took up a fighting stance and began the dance one more time with his father.

“See?” InuYasha pointed out to his mother, “Sesshoumaru never gives up, which is one of the reasons that Otousan pushes him so hard, I think.  Day after day I come in here, so many times waiting for hours just in case the two of them will show up.  And always my brother fights until he can no longer hold his sword.  I want to be like that.  I want to be strong, willful, intelligent.  I want the whole entire world to fear speaking my name in the wrong way.”

All his mother could do was stare at him, half in horror and the other half in pride, “But,” she offered, “You also must have compassion for others, InuYasha.  Please don’t think that your brother is wonderful as you think that he is.  Prince Sesshoumaru is cruel and unforgiving to those weaker than him.  If you want to be anything when you get older, please be better than your elder brother.”

He gaze once again filled with determination, “I will be far better than him.”

“Again!” his father once more ordered as Sesshoumaru was pushed to the ground.

And once more just a nodded, “Yes, My lord,” his breath came out in fast pants yet Sesshoumaru did not raise and stand to met the Inu Lord.

“Get up,” the youkai ordered.

A nod, “Yes, My Lord.”

“Then move!  Do not disgrace me by not meeting my challenge,” then his voice lowered and he whispered something that was even too soft for InuYasha’s ears to hear. 

Sesshoumaru’s head jerked up and his eyes turned to ice, his face relaxed so not as a single frown nor smirk could be found there, “Never!” he hissed and stood.  It was the first time that Sesshoumaru had turned to stone while facing his father; his ice like aura seemed to even drop the temperature in the dojo causing goose pimples to spread across the young hanyou’s arms. InuYasha blinked then found that his brother had moved once again fighting with his father but something about it changed and the fun was gone. 

“Oniisan is pissed,” he stated ignoring the startled gasp from his mother for his foul mouth.  He was too lost in watching the two of them in their dance.  He watched in fascination as the blunt steal from his father’s sword caught the young heir across the side of his neck.  He stumbled but recovered quickly attacking his father with a low growl.  Again and again they struck at each other sometimes hitting flesh with a dull thud and sometimes the move would be blocked with a clang of steal. 

InuYasha couldn’t think, he couldn’t breath, never before had he seen his brother look so regal, so graceful and so amazingly deadly.  It was like all of the strength that he had lost during the morning had faded and was left with him being twice as strong, twice as fast and twice as lethal. 

He felt his mother gasp and quickly looked to her, her face was pale and her eyes wide as she looked at the two, “Is it always like this, InuYasha?” she asked, her voice small and desperate.

InuYasha nodded, keeping his voice low, “It is, Okaasan,” he lied hoping that she was too distracted to notice.

Sesshoumaru was thrown rolling across the dojo floor a few times before  using the momentum to spring to his feet and charge at the Lord of the Western Lands.  His father backed up a step, surprised that his son didn’t stay down and met him with a clang of metal that never came.  Sesshoumaru had moved under the matched swing and twisted in a circle coming up from his father side and swinging his blunt sword.  The blow caught him across the back of the shoulders and pushed him foreword almost stumbling face first into the dojo floor.  He brought his weapon up then down intent on slashing his opponent across one of the shoulders that he had just injured but the Youkai Lord was quick to recover and met him with a clang of steal.  The Prince turned again, refusing to be pushed back again catching his father across his side.  He had never hit his father two times in a row, never ever. 

He saw it out of the corner of his eye, his father’s bitch and their mongrel where sitting there, watching him spar with his father.  From the smell of things the half-breed mutt was enjoying himself as his mother looked as if she were going to throw up.  Stars exploded in his vision as he felt the hilt of his father’s sword ram itself into the side of his head.  He reeled and jumped to his feet, shaking his head trying to clear his dizziness and defend himself from his father’s attacks with no success.  The blunt steal caught him in the side and then up across his chest causing him to turn once again, he tried moving with the turn but unsharpened metal caught him across the back of his shoulders and on once again on the side of his neck.  His legs were swept underneath him and he crashed to the dojo floor the back of his head smacking painfully on the polished wood. 

When the stars cleared his saw his father grinning down at him, “Now you are fit to rule, my son,” the Inu Lord whispered his voice brimming with pride. 

Sesshoumaru nodded, “Thank you Lord InuTaisho.”

His father walked away, leaving him there staring at ceiling until his and his wife’s sent had long ago vanished. 

S%S

InuYasha took a deep breath of the smell of Kagome’s Ramen noodles cooking in the fire and slowly let it out still not content to open his eyes.  It was strange, the memories that he had as a child seemed to belong to another hanyou altogether.  Lords he was so different back then, the respect that he had for Sesshoumaru and love that he had felt from his mother and father seemed too distant to seriously call real. 

“InuYasha?”  Kagome whispered as she slowly waked up to the sleeping demon.

“I’m awake, Kagome,” he said, not a trace of his normal malice showed in his voice.

Somehow that concerned the young girl, was InuYasha ill?

He sniffed sensing her distress, “I’m fine Kagome, just remembering things.”

Her eyes filled with pride, he was being nice to her!  He even called her by her name!  Deciding that this was a good thing she asked her next question, “Like what kinds of memories, InuYasha.”

InuYasha opened his eyes and stared at the girl, the love reflecting out of her dark eyes was easily noticeable.  It was unfair, he knew it, that he never told her that she was too much of a shadow of Kikyo for him to truly love her as she loved him.  He cared for her true, but he would never do anything like touch her or kiss her or anything.  The very thought of it repulsed him and he snorted, “None of your damned business, bitch.”

Kagome glared at him and grabbed the first thing that her hand reached and hit him across the leg with it, “I was only trying to be nice, asshole!” she screamed and stomped off, frying pan still in her hand.

InuYasha reached up and rubbed the soar spot on his leg, “Fucking bitch didn’t have to hit so hard.”

S%S

A young InuYasha ran through the halls of his father’s palace trying to stop the tears from running down his face.  His parents were no where to be found and he needed them desperately.  What he found instead was his half brother.  InuYasha stood there looking up at his brother’s cold amber eyes, “Oniisan,” he sniffed and reached up to clutch at him, “Please, Oniisan.”

Sesshoumaru looked at him and sighed, “Let’s get you cleaned up, runt,” was all he said before turning and walking back the way he came leaving the boy with no other choice but to follow.  InuYasha kept quite, trying to muffle his sniffles as they reached the bathing room.  Sesshoumaru slid the doors open and stepped in, gently shutting them and walking to one of the baths.  Carefully pulling up the sleeve of his dark blue kimono he tested the water before nodding.  “It’s still warm.  Get undressed and climb in.”

InuYasha bit back another sob as he slowly undressed his stomach and right arm hurt from the beating he just received.  He slightly jumped as his brother gentle hands helped him out of his torn and dirty garments and then lifted him placing his small form in the warm water.

In silence, without saying a single word, Sesshoumaru bathed his younger half brother until his bruises and scraps were completely gone.  “Stay here, I will have servants bring you some new clothes.  I’ll burn these,” was all he said as he stood and gathered the ruined clothes before exiting the room.

When the servants had come and gone InuYasha quickly dressed and scampered down the hall, his bare feet making small slapping sounds on the black stone floor as he headed to his brother’s room.  He didn’t know why he didn’t just go back to his own room but he knew that he needed his Oniisan’s cool calmness and strength right now.  It was a different kind of strength that his Otousan never seemed to be able to give.  He stopped out side the wide double doors and took a deep breath, not bothering to knock before carefully pushing the door open and slipping inside.

Sesshoumaru was sitting on one of the many windowsills in his room, the moonlight reflecting off his white hair causing it to glow.  His piercing gaze was directed at something unseen to him on the other side of the clear glass giving no indication that he knew he was in the room.  The young pup gulped deep in his throat and approached the heir to the Western Lands and before he could even think twice about what he was going to do he quickly crawled into his brother’s lap. 

Sesshoumaru’s gaze didn’t even flinch or change direction but he did move his arm so that it rested against his back after he had settled himself in a comfortable position.  His long claws gently tracing invisible patterns upon his back, “If I ever find them InuYasha, I will kill them,” he harshly whispered in the darkness.

InuYasha shifted his head and looked to his brother, “Arigato, Oniisan.”

Sesshoumaru snorted and continued to rub his back until the half breed was fast asleep in his arms.

S%S

Once more InuYasha opened his eyes to the bright glare of the sun and looked around, watching his companions lazily waste the afternoon away, after all they deserved some time off, didn’t they?  He frown, why, on the first day in forever was he dreaming about his past?  “I wish I fucking knew,” he whispered harshly to himself, “Fucking Sesshoumaru!  Fucking bastard.”  The last name had no real malice to it. 

He sighed, trying to figure out when it was when Sesshoumaru started to hate him.  That caused him to snort at himself, “He’s always hated you, runt, he just had a heart back then to take pity on your sorry ass,” he mumbled causing Kagome to look up from one of her books.

“Did you say something InuYasha?” she asked.

He got up and dusted himself off, “I’m going for a walk,” he stated and walked off his footsteps had no real anger behind them and he had not destination in mind.  Just a walk to clear his head of unwanted memories he thought he had long forgotten of his lost past.

A/N: There you have it!  Sorry its sooo short! Not sure if I will continue this or if its just going to be a one shot fic.  I have other ideas brewing in my brain but I have so many other stories to finish I guess time will only tell if there’s going to be more.  Hope that you like it and as always, please don’t forget to review!  Thank you bunches!