Note:
Masa’s in VIOLET
and Gackt’s in BLUE
I barely hear him enter the room, still recovering as I
was from yesterday…and the sleeping pills You slipped
me. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to see him. And yet…when I smell him as he entered the room, that damned Platinum Egöiste,
a momentous wave of relief sweeps over me.
He’s back. He’s home.
Lay your hands over me
Even if it’s a lie
Saying we’ll be alright
I shall believe
Stepping to the bed, he
runs his hands, open-palmed, down my arm, my side, to rest on my hip, making me
shiver. The hand disappears briefly
before winding around my waist as he slips into bed behind me, burying his eyes
in my shoulder. The hair at the back of my
neck prickles as he sighs and a dampness I can only assume are tears caresses
my chilled skin. Why is he crying…?
I’m broken in two
I bite back sobs and hold
him close. I don’t dare speak. Not after what happened yesterday…or this
morning. I don’t trust my own
voice. I don’t want him to see me weak
and am exceedingly relieved to have found him facing the room’s window and not
the door.
And I know you’re on to me
That I only come home
When I’m so alone
I do believe
I’m so wrong…so vile. I truly hate myself at times – for all the
wrongs done to him, to the others.
Sometimes I wonder, if I don’t go off and
disappear and drown myself in liquor because I’d be proving my father
right. He always said I was
useless. I pray I’m not…Kami-sama, I try so hard to be good, to be worthy of the
company I keep. But I’m not, am I, Masa? No…no, of
course not. I could never be worthy of
you.
Then not everything is gonna
be the way you think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right, it
all comes down on me
Please say honestly
That you won’t give up on me
Then I shall believe
And I shall believe
Oh Masa…how
could you love me? After all of this
heartbreak I’ve put you through? I hurt
everyone I love so dearly, it seems…Please don’t hate me, love…I don’t think my
heart could take it if you abandoned me here…if you got up and left…if you
shoved me away…
Open the door
Show me your face tonight
I roll over and take his shaking form in my arms. Part of me wants to kick him off of my bed
and curl up in a corner and die, I must admit.
But the ruling part, the compassionate part, would never forgive
me. I run my hands through his hair and
along his back. He sobs silently,
lamenting the Hell we’ve gone through together these past twenty-four
hours.
And I know it’s true
No one heals me like you
You hold the key
He takes my face in his
hands and lifts my eyes up to meet his.
I find the air choked in my lungs, his eyes…so dark…so beautiful… “Masa…?” I ask, my voice shaking as much as my body.
Never again
Will I turn away from you
I’m so happy tonight
That your love is alright
And I do believe
“I…” He shakes his
head and presses his fingers to my lips.
As I stare into his eyes, I watch them glisten in the moonlight. At the sudden movement, strands of dark hair
fall in front of his eyes and behind the curtain, he smiles, tentative.
Then not everything is gonna
be the way you think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right, it
all comes down on me
That you won’t give up on me
Then I shall believe
And I shall believe
I shall believe
I struggle to control my
own grief and realize that I’m fighting a losing battle. He reaches up with hesitant hands and brushes
away strands of dark hair, which obscure my face. As he pulls away, his fingers encounter the
tears I was trying so desperately to hide.
Yes, Gaku, I’m crying. I’m crying
for all the things gone wrong and all the broken promises and all the hopes and
dreams crushed. But…I’m crying because
your presence has given me more solace in these past few minutes than I could
hope to find in a lifetime.
Then not everything is gonna
be the way you think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right, it
all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won’t give up on me
Then I shall believe
I shall believe
Don’t cry anymore,
Love. Not anymore. You’ve cried enough these past few
years. I don’t want you to cry anymore…no
more tears, no more grief, no more pain…Only happiness, only hope for
tomorrow. And if I can give it to you,
if you’ll take it from me, I’ll give you all the love I have left in this
damned shell of a body…
I shall believe
I shall believe
He shifts and wraps his
arms around me, pulling me into his embrace.
I lose myself in the warmth of his body, the chill of his fingers on my
skin, the comfort of his lips as they caress my face as if I were made of glass… Why are you so delicate with me now,
Gaku? Are you so desperate for
love? Or are you so desperate for
forgiveness?
I shall believe
And I shall believe
Oh Masa, forgive my sins. Hold me until the end of time. Walk down this path with me so I won’t be
alone anymore…
Gaku, I forgive you with my heart, my mind, my soul, my
body…If you’ll take that much, and give me the same in return, I’ll never leave
your side – I’ll stay with you forever and ever. It will take something greater than death do
us part, if you swear never to abandon me, never to leave me alone, never to
send me out to the cold.
And I shall believe
I shall believe
I love you.
Believe me, I beg of you, believe me when I say I love you…
And I shall believe
I shall believe
I love you…