--Chapter 07: “Where Do We Go Now?”--
Hyde was pissed. Throwing the flap to Gackt’s tent aside he strode inside in a frenzy. “You’re crazy!”
Gackt looked up only momentarily before returning his attention to the task of lacing his boots. Tightening the strings, he replied coolly, “This I already knew Hyde…”
“I knew it too – but I didn’t think you were this insane. What the Hell are you thinking?!”
With a sigh, he stood and looked down at the other man. “We gain an advantage, that’s what I’m thinking. If we can gain distance between the Dark forces and ourselves, then we can gain more time between now and our next battle.” He strode past the other without waiting for an answer.
“I understand that much…” Hyde began, following the other outside. “But we don’t even have the --” he stopped short, “-- supplies…” Throughout the camp, which only moments before was void of all conscious life, was now bustling with activity as people, bundled up, were loading the Rahktvah [1] as well as themselves with supplies they might need for the trek over the mountains.
Gackt paused and turned to his friend. Waving a hand, gesturing to the goings-on, he asked, “You were saying…?”
Hyde turned his wide eyes to the other. “You’re good…” he muttered, stunned.
Gackt turned away, muttering, “Don’t thank me…Thank the gods…”
*****
The said gods apparently caught on to Gackt’s plan, which was not going by their books, for the going was anything but easy. Skirmishes with scouts of the enemy were frequent, sometimes terrifying, and always near-disastrous as most of the fighters were falling to exhaustion and pains brought on by past injuries. The pace they forced themselves to walk at was grueling.
As they passed through the forest – the final barrier between them and the mountains – the group paused in their trek. The earth was saturated with blood of a previous battle. Or at least, that’s what they forced themselves to believe. One sight of the area unnerved them in particular, however.
Atop a rock was placed a skull, its eye sockets staring blankly out at the exhausted band of warriors. Its jaws were tied open with a strand of vines, its fangs protruded outward.
Yu~ki shivered.
Noticing the other’s unease, Mana turned and saw the ominous warning. “They’ve resorted to devouring their own kind…How lovely…” Without another glance, the feminine vampyre continued onward.
Yu~ki had a very bad feeling…
*****
Yukihiro [2] stood at the base of the mountain range staring up. Not out, not over, but up. The snow-white peaks soared into the heavens almost precisely straight upward, disappearing into the clouds.
Much to the reluctance of their commander, who paced back and forth throughout the camp, they had stopped one last time before making their ascent. The soldiers were making last checks on supplies and bandaged injuries, the healers were making their last rounds and the Rhaktvah were panting heavily from the weight they bore. It was impossible not to feel even the slightest twinge of pity for the large creatures, with their dark, watchful eyes…
“Inoran!”
Yukihiro turned towards the voice, sensing some alarm. His fingers twitched, the words of a counter-spell upon his lips…
“What?”
“I think the elementals need a bit of a jolt before we go.”
The drummer relaxed as he identified the speaker as Ken, as well as the telltale smirk evident in his tone.
“How so?”
As the talking continued, Yukihiro walked towards the orators, noticing others do the same. In the middle of the ring formed, lay the elementals assigned to the southern forces. Jiro sat staring into space – much to the amusement of his wife who poked and prodded him like some rag doll. Youjeen had situated herself by the fire, nudging the smoldering wood with a nearby stick, too weary to move from the uncomfortable position into which her body had shifted. Ren lay curled up on his side, panting.
Inoran took it all in. “All right…” Pointing to random members of the crowd, he commanded, “You – take him to that dried up water hole – the one with all the mud – and dump him in. You – build up this fire and let her play with it.” Then, turning to look down at the unresponsive Ren, he asked, “I know this is a stretch but…does anyone have one of those mini-battery-powered fans? They’re about this big…” he held his fingers a slight ways apart.
Someone spoke up, “I think I might have one…if it wasn’t sucked up by the Fates on the way here…”
“Good. Go find it.”
At the same time, the fire that had slowly been dying out had been rekindled much to Youjeen’s delight. J and a few others watched in awe as she made the flames dance and swirl…
Meanwhile, Jiro had been unceremoniously dumped in the water hole, or mud hole as the case may have been. Sputtering and wiping mud from his face he muttered, “I feel…rejuvenated! Utterly filthy…but…”
Back on dry ground, Reiko laughed and stated, “You take on the role of a pig very well, Jiro…”
While the others within earshot laughed, her husband glared up at her and, scooping up some of the muck beside him, he swiftly lobbed a handful at her.
Stunned, she stared off into space, before her bubbling anger found a target.
“Eto…” Jiro began, laughing nervously. Attempting to run away, he slipped and slid in the mud that suddenly felt like a deathtrap. His struggles were futile, however, for within seconds, his wife had tackled him to the earth again. The couple rolled around in the mire, their death threats and pleas turning into laughs and half-hearted bullying to the catcalls and cheers of “Kawaii!”
Inoran rubbed his aching temples.
Yukihiro laughed and turned back to face the mountains. His smile quickly faded however, when he glanced at the emotion that had laced itself through his commander’s features. Gackt’s eyes were dark, hollow…it sent shivers down the drummer’s back. Following the leader’s gaze, he found it resting upon a youth sitting alone.
Masa, he believed was his name, wore the most morbid expression the elder man had seen in his entire life. He looked as if his very heart had been torn from his chest. It made his own heart ache just watching the pain flutter behind the sad doe eyes.
Turning back to face Gackt, he inquired, “What have you done to him…?”
…But the other was already gone.
*****
Takuro struggled up the line, thigh-deep snow hindering his progress. He could barely see – the wind whipped the snow about in dizzying circles, stinging his eyes. Just as he was about to collapse from the strain, he found who he was looking for. “Gaku!”
Gackt stopped suddenly and moved to the side of the queue to await his lieutenant. “What is it?”
“I don’t want to alarm you Gaku, but look behind us.”
With a quick, “Carry on,” to Kozi, Gackt stared down the slopes.
“Do you see them?” the other man inquired in hushed tones.
“Yes…” He searched to crowd below them struggling up the incline. “Youjeen!” The young woman started, looking up at the sound of her name. Seeing her superiors standing on an outcropping, she waved. Gackt, nodding down the mountainside, continued, “Mind getting rid of some unwanted guests?”
Turning, she looked behind the line of half frozen soldiers, holding her long hair to keep the wind from whipping it about her shoulders. Darting behind rocks and snowdrifts, dark shapes bounded like snowshoe hares upon the white precipice. The woman counted at least four dozen springing from nook to cranny, hoping to be seen merely as hallucinations. The shivering of the leathery bodies and wings, which poked out above the snow, gave them away.
Turning back to the men on the outcropping, she called, “I think I can handle ‘em…”
Gackt called back, “Good…be sure you do…” and turned to continue up the mountain.
Youjeen nodded and stalked down the mountain with the tired eyes of the troop following her. As she neared the end of the line, she ordered, “Alright, everyone keep to the rocks.” They looked at her, wary, then looked at each other for affirmation, and then moved to the rocks, which stood above the snowdrifts. Motioning to J, she stated, “I’m going to need your sword.”
Clutching at
Sighing, she stated, “Because it’s metal J. It conducts heat. Now give.” She held out her hand, palm up. J, dispondent, reluctantly handed over his beloved blade. “Ano…” she began as he moved away, “I’m going to need you to hold onto me too…”
The man walked up and wrapped his long arms around her waist. “Suppose I drop you…”
Rolling her eyes she responded, “You won’t drop me!” J laughed, but their humor was shortlived.
The enemy, realizing their cover had been blown, bounded up the mountain side, snarling and snapping their rotten jaws. J’s grip on the young woman tightened.
Gripping
Fire and lightning streaked through the woman’s small body, along her fingers, into the sword and exploded down into the mountainside, breaking the snow and ice and stone. She relished in the blatant horror in the enemies’ eyes as they were buried and drowned in white while they tried to flee the coming avalanche. With a satisfied cry, she collapsed against her companion, breathless.
J staggered backward under Youjeen’s dead weight. He sighed, relieved.
The earth underneath him suddenly began to quake. J’s dark eyes shot open as he watched cracks
form and grow wider in what he thought was stable ground. With a groan, he jumped to his feet, the
elemental in his arms. “Wonderful…” Grabbing his beloved
Meanwhile, nearing the summit of the mountain, Gackt and the others turned to look down and back at the receding mountainside. Impressed, Gackt mused, “We must be getting closer, her strength is increasing…”
Takuro agreed, in shock, “I’ll say…” The others nodded, mute and numb.
Back on the now-barren incline, J knelt, panting, and sighed heavily as he propped up his companion. Look into her glazed eyes he asked, “Ever hear of the term ‘overkill?’”
The woman muttered, exhausted, “No such thing as ‘overkill…’” J laughed and hefted her into his arms. Lifting her hands the Youjeen looked upon them indifferently. Raising them for J to inspect, she murmured, “Itai…” Where she had been holding the sword hilt was nothing but charred, blistered skin. “Kiss it and make it better,” she pleaded.
J looked upon her in shock. Stuttering, he replied, “I’m no healer…” Sheathing his sword, he stated, “Let’s go see if Ino can do anything about that.” His pace quickened as he walked to the front of the line, noticing the troupe had already begun to move. Once he caught sight of the other man, he called out, breathless, “Oi!”
Ino turned at the call. “Hai? Nanda?” J hefted Youjeen higher in his arms and took a hand of hers to display to the healer who winced. “I can’t do anything but bandage it right now, okay? Time is of the essence.” J nodded his assent.
Over his shoulder, Youjeen smiled, eyes glazed and half-lidded to Gackt who stood looking upon the scene. “How was that Gackt-san?” she asked, voice cracking and barely above a whisper.
Gackt smiled, “Not bad…for a rookie…” and turned, continuing his ascent.
The young woman smiled and fell asleep in J’s arms.
*****
As they neared the pinnacle, Mana noticed with disdain the dragon skull that was perched next to the path they were to take. The Rahktva were anxiously pawing the ground with their forked hooves. “Looks like someone’s trying to frighten us away, ne?” the immortal observed.
From behind him, Teru muttered, “Looks like it’s working…”
*****
The exodus up the mountains was treacherous – crags and chasms, snow and ice – but they struggled on.
As the sun set behind the forbidding peaks, Gackt found it difficult to breathe. He coughed, trying desperately to clear his freezing lungs. The ragged cloth used as a muffler had frozen over from his tired exhalations. His legs were numb, moving only when physically ordered to do so, his lips were blue, and he hadn’t been able to feel his hands for almost an entire day. It’d probably do me good just to lop them off…
“Gaku!”
“Gaku!”
Wait…Toshi? Gackt stopped abruptly, whirling around, his heavy cloak flapping about him in the chill wind. Turning to his lieutenants, he ordered, “Keep going. I’ll wait.” The others nodded and with some encouraging words to the followers, pressed onward. Standing to the side, Gackt watched as JOB’s drummer struggled up the slope towards him. Gackt looked not at the other man, but at the bundle he carried. “Nanda?”
Panting, Toshi returned, “How close are we to getting there?”
“Why?”
Gently unfolding his cloak, the other revealed a very cold, unconscious Ren. Gackt gasped in horror at the blue-tinge the smaller man sported. Walking forward, he stretched his hand out and brushed it against the other’s cheek. “Ren…?” The elemental groaned, his eyelids fluttering. Looking back up at Toshi, Gackt asked, “How long has he been like this?”
The other shook his head, dark locks brushing his shoulders. “Only as long as it took me to get to you. He told me that he was numb but then he collapsed against Chacha and I. I brought him up here as fast as I could but…”
Gackt moved closer, stroking the petit bassist’s cheek again. “Ren…?”
The red head groaned, his eyes fluttering open. “Gaku…?”
“We’re almost there, alright? Hold on for just a little longer…Stay close to Toshi.” The other nodded weakly and nuzzled into the drummer’s sheltering embrace. To Toshi, Gackt added, “Keep him as warm as you can – we still have a ways to go.” With one final glance at the man bundled up in Toshi’s arms, he turned. “Come on…”
The conversation didn’t go unnoticed. Kirito had heard the exchange in increasing coherency as he walked beside his friends. Unclasping his cloak from around his neck, he walked over and wrapped Ren in it, adding another layer of warmth.
“…demo…what about you?” Toshi argued.
The other winked before his body melted, shifted, blended together. Bones snapping, tendons popping, muscles tearing…Where once there stood a stout Asian man, now stood a huge white polar bear.
Thrown into shock at the spectacle, Toshi smiled nervously and stuttered, “D-Domo arigatou…”
The Kirito-Bear nodded once and continued walking.
*****
It was upon the dusk of the seventh day that the Southern Forces reached their comrades’ encampment. Tattered, torn, frozen, they stumbled headlong into the courtyard of the compound.
Takuya stood amidst the oncoming chaos and took action. “Alright…” Motioning to his right, he ordered, “Sick or frozen over there,” motioning to the left, “injured over there. The rest of you either volunteer to help or get the fuck out of my way.” That much stated, he plunged into his work, Koji not far behind him.
*****
Gackt walked beside Taka and Michi, teeth chattering as he tried to bandage his immobile hands. To the dismay of his friends, he refused to let a Healer of the company aid him. “Gacchi, please…”
“Iie…We have work to do. It can wait.”
The other two glanced at each other and sighed, knowing full well that their commander would not be swayed. Grabbing a torch, Michi led the way up one of the four spiraling staircases and through the maze of stone walled rooms to the ramparts where they stood and plotted.
*****
[Gackt’s POV]
…I walk into the darkened room and close the door behind me. Pressing my back against it, I sigh. The trek over the mountains was disastrously near failure: attacked from behind by those crawling bastards and pelted by wind and ice from the front. Everyone’s exhausted. Exhausted or injured or ill or half-starved or frozen or any other number of problems ranging from anxiety attacks to shellshock.
My body shudders as I sink to the floor. Bringing my knees up to my chest, I bury my face in my hands. I can feel my strained grasp on sanity slip, stretch, and suddenly snap.
--there’s
no hope we’re all going to die we’re damned I don’t want to burn again I don’t
want to die again oh God help us help me help them why do You do this they’re
all going to burn and why why are You doing this to
us what have we done to suffer this I don’t want to burn not like last time I
don’t want to die they don’t want to die if there’s no hope why are you making
us fight there’s no hope I won’t let them catch me kill me burn me I won’t let
You kill them I won’t let You take them away from me again You Bastard I’ll
fight You I’ll kill You but how does one kill a god Father in Heaven Holy
Mother all the Saints and Martyrs I condemn you all I hate You I hate you all
You took my wings oh God forgive me I’m evil I’m damned not them not them just me
I’m alone again I don’t like being alone oh God take them away keep them safe
don’t make them suffer for humanity’s evil for my evil malicious misery what is
human Mana’s right what is human human
is evil human is sadistic pleasure human is masochistic agony human is pain is
suffering is sadness is madness am I human am I real is this real I’m
frightened I want to run want to be happy but I can’t be happy I’m not allowed
to live because humans aren’t allowed to be happy not allowed to live we’re
born to die oh God that word again die yes maybe I could die and then I
wouldn’t be human anymore and I would be allowed to be happy but then I’d
abandon them here they’d be sad or maybe they wouldn’t be oh God forgive me I’m
evil and I condemn those I love the only reason I’m still here is Masa--
And abruptly, it stops. My head snaps up and my eyes fly to the man sleeping on the makeshift bed. “Masa…”
The moonlight dances across his face, his chest, his legs, highlighting every crease, every curve. His chest rises and falls in the rhythmic meter of his breathing. Soft exhalations hiss between his parted lips, which, from time to time, murmur the incoherent pleadings of a sleeping man. He doesn’t stir otherwise.
I struggle to stand up as my strength has left me in my moment of insanity. With tentative steps, I progress to his side, to look down upon him. Sprawled across the bed, he sleeps, unaware of my lapse in self-control. His eyes roll in their sockets, dreaming. I can see them move behind the smooth lids. His face is calm, painted ashen by the grievous moon. My fingers itch to touch him but I don’t dare. Not now, when I cannot predict my own mental state at any given moment.
My eyes travel to his throat. I can see the circular scars made by Mana’s fangs. Why does he let that man feed on him? At the sight of the marks, I feel my own fangs elongate. My senses intensify. Everything sharpens painfully into focus. I can hear his pulse race through his veins and my breath comes in short pants. I want to grab him, bite him, claim him, tear him away from any power Mana has over him…I stretch out my hand…
No! I draw my hand back to my chest using the other to brace it. No…I will not hurt him. I will not claim him. He’s not my own. Not mine…not mine…And still he sleeps, oblivious.
“Not mine…” Those words…they hurt so much. For, being not mine, he could be taken from me – whether with his consent or no. God… “Masa…”
He stirs. “Gaku…?” Blinking, he looks up at me through the haze of the web sleep has woven over his mind. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing…ano…sorry I woke you…” I turn to leave – I have to escape.
“Gaku…?” His plaintive call stops me.
“Aa…?”
“Come to bed.”
Turning, I find him stretching out his arms, a weary smile plastered on his face. He’s so trusting. If he’d known what thoughts had passed through my mind only minutes ago, he wouldn’t be so willing to share his bed. After a moment’s hesitation, I step back towards him.
He takes my hands in his and brings me down to lay in his arms. I breathe him in. God, if I am to die, let me die, without fear, in his arms for this is the only place I feel I am happy…the only place I feel safe…complete.
And for the first time since we arrived, my mind, troubled no longer by nightmares or phantoms of my bitter past, is soothed by the beating of Masa’s heart…
[1] Rhaktvah = Pronunciation: Rah-ch (school)-tuh-vah = Rsurrix (c) -Britts-. Rhaktvah are the Marrshrieq’s version of pack animals. They are used to carry heavy loads. They have forked toes, and resemble dragons with sharp teeth, stubby tails, small wings, and stand about 7 feet. The “task force” mentioned in the first chapter is made of up Rhaktvah.
[2] Yukihiro = the one from L’Arc~en~Ciel. Lord knows how many ‘Yukihirio’s there are in JRock…