shat·ter
(shăt’Ər)
He sat staring at the wall, his eyes every
so often flicking to the digital clock above the door, the one with the hidden
camera. Sometimes he had the sudden urge
to strip naked, put his underwear on his head and give them a show. Sometimes. But he restrained it, shoving it back into
the corners of his consciousness where it was harmless. Such urges would be against their
diagnosis. He wasn’t a spontaneous
madman. Oh, no. He was the quiet madman, the one who sat in a
corner and watched…and waited…and then struck.
He hated voyeurs – they complicated things
so.
In a few minutes his guards would take him
to the outside world, he knew. He wasn’t
permitted to stay in solitary confinement all the time; it was
“unhealthy.” So for twenty minutes once
a week, he was allowed to fraternize with the other crazies in the ward, either
outside in the enclosed courtyard or in the TV room.
He hated the TV room – there was no TV.
The door opened and two of the wards
entered. They had gotten bigger, he
noticed. Tazers
had been removed from the arsenal apparently and as such, the guards had to
start lifting weights. He almost
smiled. Almost. He had enjoyed those tazers,
pissed off several of the higher ups with them.
Clenching the muscles in his jaw, he stood and walked between the two
men as they led him outside his room, down the sterile hallway, and through the
double doors into the courtyard.
Standing there, Hyde let his eyes close as
he breathed. There was a breeze. He liked breezes. He liked the way they danced with the leaves
on the trees. It was beautiful that
way. Opening his eyes he walked forward
and took his spot in the corner, curling up in a ball. As he always had done. Anything else would have been suspicious.
Ten minutes passed. He had learned over the months to tune out
the noises of the madness around him and focus on the harmonies nature
presented to him. Sometimes he’d even
find himself humming along. It was then
that he chanced to look up.
Sitting on the bench across from him sat a
girl. She couldn’t have been more than
seventeen, her long black hair falling about her thin body in waves. She stared at him such that he thought her to
be catatonic but she blinked and tilted her head slightly. Hyde looked away, feeling her eyes analyzing,
cataloguing…
A few minutes later, she was at his side,
sitting. Just sitting. They didn’t speak – that would have been
suspicious. The minutes ticked by.
*****
Cha jumped as he felt the other man’s
fingers brush against his neck. Turning,
he looked at Gackt, confused. He must
have read the questioning in his eyes, as he explained, “I’ve…” he withdrew his
hand and laughed at himself. “It’s been
awhile since I’ve seen your hair this dark.
Is it…is this…your--”
“Natural color? Yes,” Cha replied. He paused, and then added, “That is, when I’m
not gray.”
You smiled from the couch. “Gray?
You? Never.”
“Yeah, well, that’s not the only thing
either.” The other two men glanced at
him, confused. Cha was about to respond
when Kai bolted down the hallway and leapt into the older man’s arms. He laughed softly and returned the
embrace. “How are you Chibi? I haven’t
seen you all day.”
“I’m good.
I got a gold star in school today.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yep.”
“Well congratulations. That’s wonderful.” The little girl giggled, smug, and then just
as quickly as she had arrived, she disappeared into her room.
The three men sat in amused silence for a
moment before Gackt returned to the matter at hand. “You were saying that there was more?”
Cha sighed, disappointed when the light
mood evaporated. “Yes, there’s
more.” Pulling the newspaper from his
jacket pocket, he tossed it to the other man.
“Front page about half way down.”
“‘New law to take
effect Monday.’” Gackt blinked and looked
up at his friend, concern etched into his face.
“Go on…” Cha gently prodded.
Turning his eyes back to the article, the
vocalist scanned the words before coming to an unsettling paragraph. “All non-Union artists, actors, etc. – please
see following page for complete list – will from hence forth be expected to
wear uniform dress approved by the Domestic Committee.”
“What?”
“On the next page there’s a list of shops
and stores where we can purchase these ‘approved uniforms.’”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Oh, that’s not all. They also expect us not to cut our hair or
dye it any ‘unnatural’ color.”
“Whatever will that accomplish?”
“Whatever will any of this accomplish?”
Gackt fired back, tossing the paper on the coffee table.
“Humility. Isolation.”
“That’s always how it starts…”
*****
“I know you’re not crazy.”
Hyde glanced sidelong at the girl. She stared straight ahead, lips parted
slightly.
“You don’t act like the others here.”
She
can throw her voice? he thought, mildly amused. He almost replied, but a fleeting glance from
the girl told him all he needed to know – he was to listen, not speak.
“We should get out of here. It’s going to kill us to stay.”
This time he did reply. “How?”
“Listen carefully, we only get one
chance.”
*****
Gackt tugged at the jacket and the high
collar. He hadn’t worn a suit like this
in years and it was driving him nuts only minutes into wearing it. You opened the door and he watched his
reflection in the mirror. Behind him,
the vocalist could see Cha sitting at the kitchen table with Kai, helping her
with her homework. If he had any idea
about what this meeting was about, he could only assume that the little girl
wouldn’t be needing it to be done by tomorrow morning.
Motioning the taller man inside, Gackt’s eyes returned to his own reflection. You shut the door behind him and took a seat
on the bed. “I feel like I’m in high
school.”
The violinist looked up at his friend and
mused softly, “Maybe that’s what they want.”
After a few more minutes’ fussing, Gackt
gave up on the suit and walked out the bedroom, You
following at his heels. He gave his
daughter a quick kiss before walking out the door and stepping into the
awaiting taxi.
*****
Dinner had been eaten and cleared by the
time Gackt returned from his meeting with Kai’s teacher. With a glance at his friend’s pale face, You quickly turned and ushered the girl down the hall so he
could get her ready for her bath.
Closing his book, Cha slid his glasses from the bridge of his nose and looked
at his friend, waiting.
Gackt stood, silent, staring blankly at
the contents of the refrigerator before withdrawing some left over vegetables
from the night’s dinner and going about preparing them. Putting the covered bowl into the microwave, he
stopped and whispered, “She can’t go back.
They won’t let her go back.”
“Why?”
“Because Law 247, section B states that
children of non-Union members – who I might add are now being called ‘Isolates’
– are not permitted to attend public school.”
“Why would they do that?”
Gackt clenched the muscles in his jaw and
prodded the numbered buttons almost viciously.
“Because it’s not enough that they isolate the adults,
but now they have to single out the children as well.”
They didn’t speak for some time. You ushered Kai down the hall again and they
disappeared into the bathroom. The
microwave beeped, signaling that its contents were now suitably nuked. Gackt made no motion to retrieve them.
“What are you going to do?” Cha asked
softly.
“I don’t know. Not send her away, that’s for sure.”
“No boarding schools then?”
“No.”
Gackt shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself. “I’m not letting her out of my sight like
that. Not where they could reach her
easier than I could.”
“A tutor then?”
He paused before continuing softly. “Takenouchi-san
offered to study with her over the weekends and maybe on weeknights. I told her that we’d be very grateful if she
could manage it, even if only once a week.”
*****
For weeks upon weeks he waited for her signal. And nothing came. He had learned through one of his more
sympathetic guards that her name was Noriko and she had been sent to this place
by her parents who thought she was crazy.
He found out later that all she had done
was protest the government’s rising power.
She was one of the lucky ones though – he
also found out that several of the student organization’s leaders who had
arranged the protests had been killed.
Then one night at 3:39 in the morning, the
digital clock above the door turned off.
That was the signal.
*****
“Gaku-chan!”
You waited at his place standing in front of the TV, remote control
firmly grasped in his hand. “Gackt!”
“What?”
Gackt poked his head out from the archway which led down the hall to the
bedrooms. “What is it?” He looked flustered. Kai must have been giving him trouble about
her set bedtime again.
“Look that this…” The violinist turned back to the TV and
turned the volume up slightly as his friend approached him from behind.
“…has announced that all borders will be
closed by the 14th, allowing only domestic flights--”
“Oh, God…”
“--which has led
to a rush on plane tickets to areas outside of the country. Currently, only those residents either
without Japanese citizenship or with foreign business dealings are being
permitted to leave. We have been
informed that residents and citizens with blood relatives abroad will be
permitted flight clearance by the end of the week at the very earliest…”
Gackt turned and all but ran to the phone
and dialed a familiar number. “Pick up
the phone…” he whispered, a hint of desperation slipping into his voice as the
other end rang. “Pick up, please…”
“M-moshi moshi?” The voice was faint and sounded
distracted. He could hear a television
in the background, echoing the one in the living room.
“Masa…are you
watching…”
“Yeah.”
“…I think you should come over. We have to talk.”