“T.E.N.A.N.T.”

Author’s Notes: To any and all who have read this fic and have contacted me about it – thank you all so much for the kind words, they really meant a lot to me. I never give my own work any credit. Ever. Because I’ll come back to it in 6 months and think, “Fuck, that SUCKED!” and I won’t bother to rewrite it. So….thank you. Now, if I can manage to keep all the plotlines in order, we’ll be in business. o.O;;

They sat at the table in the deserted mess hall, going over the readouts headquarters had sent them a few hours ago. There were signs that a squadron of TS soldiers were heading in their direction. As usual, the men at the top expected the 4^th to hold its own and keep the base at all costs. To have a fortification so deep behind enemy lines was both a strong foothold and a dangerous one at the same time. How they expected the 4^th to hold back a full squadron of TS soldiers was beyond Fujimura.

Dropping the papers, Cha rubbed his temples with a sigh. “It can’t be done. It can’t. But it has to be done…”

You looked up at him, his face unreadable, as usual. “What is it?”

“It’s just…all wrong. The battle plans, the strategy, everything.” Tossing the papers onto the floor, Cha closed the folder and began writing on the cover.

They lapsed into silence again.

*****

Gackt snatched Masa’s hand up in his own and studied it. He turned the appendage over and over in his own, fascinated. He looked up at the soldier, his dark eyes searching.

Masa smiled, hoping that would appease him.

From Masa’s eyes, his eyes flicked to the back of the room where Ren sat in a corner, watching to two. He also smiled, albeit a bit sadly. Gackt blinked. Taking up his examination of his and Masa’s hands, he folded down the other’s fingers, leaving only the pointer erect. Lacing his fingers with Masa’s with childish diligence, he slowly brought their intertwined fingers to the dirty floor, coated with the grime of recent use.

The younger man watched as a pattern – of dots, dashes, and lines, like that in the conference room weeks ago – began to take shape. After moments of seemingly endless scratching at the floor, they drew a vertical line and Gackt disentangled his fingers and looked up, expectant.

Utterly confused, Masa blinked at Gackt and then down at the floor. He looked back up, disappointed, to Gackt and shook his head sadly. The other tilted his head, looked down at the pattern and pointed to the first small dots and in succession, pointed in turn, and spoke – no, sang – bits of words. His voice was broken and strained from lack of use, but miraculously, or at least to Masa’s ear, each note was on key, beautiful, but sad…

“Say…on…ara…ai…shi…ta…tai…set…su…na…hi…to… [1]”

Masa stared. Music…? He turned to share the news with Ren, but the other had already gone.

*****

“Sir!”

Fujimura sighed in frustration at the sudden cry as the redhead burst through the door. “What is it, Ren?”

“I’m sorry to bother you sir, but…he can write music!”

“Who can write music?”

“Gackt. And he can sing too.” And with that, Ren closed the door and left the two officers alone again.

“He can sing…and write music…that’s fascinating!” Cha looked at You. “It’s amazing, really. How much time and effort was put into him…” he stood and walked to the window over looking the grounds. “He learns like a human. He feels like a human…” Cha let his voice trail off as he glanced back at his second-in-command. “It makes sense though, if all the information you gathered was correct – at one time, he was human.”

You looked up, their eyes locking for a long moment before his superior lowered his own back to the grounds outside the glass panes. The automaton in turn lowered his glass eyes and looked at the table. The mechanical spheres could look deeper into the wood, deeper than any human eyes could see, and find the unpolished regions ridden with splinters and water damage. He could run scans for wood lice and termites which infested the furniture throughout the compound. He could give his superior officer specific readouts on how many rats made their homes in the walls around them. But he didn’t bother. Fujimura had called it “amazing” that Gackt was, in a sense, so flawed, so sporadic…as humans were.

What made the man so taken with the technology embedded in Gackt’s synthetic genes? Surely not science. What made him look at You like he had just now? It was deeper than sadness, but not as bitter as melancholy or depression…

“What is it you feel…when you look at me?” You asked suddenly, startling the other man out of his reverie. Cha turned to lean against the window sill, pressing his palms into the splintering wood, barely missing an abandoned spider web as his fingers curled underneath the ledge. All this You could see from his seat at the table. But, for whatever reason, it was not what his superior wanted.

“Disappointment,” the other answered simply.

“Disappointment?” The automaton tilted his head to the side, rolling the word around in his mechanical brain. “Have I done something wrong, sir?”

“No…” the man turned his eyes to the floor, eyeing his boots. “You never do anything wrong…And I never want you to – it would endanger the men and the missions. You have saved our lives countless times, and I am grateful to you for that…”

“…but…?”

Cha sighed and looked up, but avoided the other’s eyes. “Think nothing of it You. It’s not important.” Leaving the window, the officer walked slowly to the door and grasped the handle, pulling the door open.

“You wish me to be human.” You’s eyes had not followed the other man to the door, so he did not see the pain that was etched across Fujimura’s features…but he did hear the other’s breath catch at the statement despite the trouble he had gone through to hide it. There was a soft click as the door closed. “You want me to learn like him…to feel like him…” You lifted his hands and stared at the long digits. “But if humans are judged by their ability to feel, then I am already human. I feel anger when your superiors speak of me as an accessory. I felt pity when we found Gackt, barely alive in the woods. I feel relief when we complete a mission successfully. I feel fear--” You stopped mid-sentence to look back at the officer. “I feel fear when you are in danger…sir. Are these not human traits?”

Cha said nothing for a long time. He turned and walked back to the table and sat in the chair opposite the automaton. “These feelings…you have expressed just now…can be learned from others, taught by others. You are an android. You observe the reactions of people around you and catalogue them. You save them in your databanks for future use. You were not always as…feeling as you are now.”

You studied the man’s face. There was sadness there. A heavy sadness. “Then tell me to feel something that I could not learn from the others. Something that I would have to know inherently to be human.”

“Love,” was the simple enough answer.

“Love?”

“Yes. If you can feel love towards another, a person, then you are human, for love is the most inherent of human emotions. The need to be loved and the urge to love in return is the most deep-rooted emotion we have. If you can love…you are human.”

They were both silent for a long time. You watched as Cha’s jaw clenched and unclenched until, slowly, he let his eyes fall to the table, defeated. “I…am sorry, sir.”

Cha got up almost violently and headed to the door. He had to get out of the room. He had to…Opening the door, he stepped out to the deserted hallway and shut himself out. Sliding to the ground, he buried his eyes in his hands, scrubbing at them with bitter ferocity. After a time, he stood and walked down the corridor to the mess hall.

On the other side of the wall, You acknowledged the other’s body heat fading into the distance. Glancing at the door, he whispered, “Do you think one could teach another to love…sir?”

*****

Cha stood against the door to his quarters, exhausted. The men were prepared, or as prepared as they could be. Isolated in the cage that was the TS base, and they were out of range of any help. “They’ve sent us to die…” he mused aloud, knowing that the walls could very well be listening. It didn’t matter at this point. If their monitors and scouts were correct, a TS brigade was now only about a day’s march away. The thought of guerilla warfare had at one point crossed his mind when he was reworking the battle plans, but he’d decided the risk was far too great. The trek itself to the enemy’s current encampment could very easily have tired out the rebels and turned the surprise attack into a massacre.

With a groan, the lieutenant pushed himself away from the wall and paced to his bed, removing his boots, his tie…He’d started on his shirt by the time he got to the cot in the corner of the room when there was a knock. Back still to the door, he called over his shoulder while continuing to unbutton the black shirt, “Come in.”

The door opened and shut, but nothing was said. Cha paused in his work, turned around, and gasped, taking a step back so his legs bumped the edge of his bed.

“Did I frighten you, sir?” You asked.

Cha found himself blushing at being so easily startled. Perhaps I’m tenser than I thought… With a sigh, he turned away from the Automaton slightly and continued undressing. Hell, I have every reason to be tense… “No, You. I’m just a bit jumpy, that’s all. What was it that you needed?” Silence met him once again. “You?” Glancing sidelong at his second-in-command, he noticed something he had not seen before.

There was sadness in the android’s steely eyes. “I’ve…thought. Over what you said nine days and thirteen hours ago. Thought about…love.” Cha looked away and slid his arms around his torso, hoping to no end just for You to go away or for himself to disappear, anything to relieve the ache that was beginning to rise up again, like a stoked fire. You must have noticed his commander’s agitation because he continued, “I have heard…” he took a step forward towards Cha, “that children sometimes play a game.”

He paused, waiting for Cha to speak. When the man did so, his voice shuddered between his lips. “What game?”

Another step, “They play pretend,” and another. Due to his almost excessively long legs, the automaton had reached his destination – barely even a breath away from the short man. “They create their own world.”

Cha suppressed a shiver that ran up his spine and he closed his eyes. He could feel the android’s closeness, sense it, feel the simulated heat radiating from the other’s body. The robot paused for a long time. Fujimura’s eyes blinked open to look into the glass replicas. He could feel himself drowning.

The automaton hesitantly stretched a hand forward to cup the shorter man’s cheek. Cha allowed himself to yield to the caress, melting into the touch, his eyes fluttering shut once again. You bent forward and whispered against the shell of Cha’s ear. “Let’s pretend that…” he struggled with the words, “that I’m human, and that…I…love you. And you love me.”

Tears slid from between Cha’s dark lashes, leaving silver trails on his pale cheeks. You leaned forward to catch the glistening drops with his lips, but the shorter man turned, catching the other’s lips with his own. Startled, the android was at first unsure how to react, but as Fujimura’s lips moved against his, coaxing, he responded in kind.

With calculated efforts, You’s hands came up and rid the smaller man of his shirt, sliding it down the smooth shoulders until it fell in a black pool on the floor. The kiss deepened, their tongues grazing each others’ lips, dueling with each other until Cha gently urged the android to follow him, drawing him down to join him on the bed which squeaked in mild protest at their combined weight. Laying back, he pulled You on top of him.

As You’s lips caressed his cheeks and temples, Cha’s hands slid from his shoulders to undo other’s shirt, button by button, before meeting his lips again as he slid the garment down his arms, reveling in the feel of the other’s strong arms and shoulders.

When his hands trailed back over the automaton’s shoulders to rest against his chest, their eyes met. A sudden question popped into Cha’s head. “You…how--?” His unfinished question was quickly answered when the android pressed his hips down against his own and he felt the other’s hard length, confined by his black slacks, against his own. With a gasp, Cha’s head fell against the pillow, his eyes rolling back into his head. “Oh, God…” It had been far too long, he realized, as You slowly moved down his body until he could sit back between the other’s legs so he could undo the clasps of the lieutenant’s pants.

The smaller man shivered as the cool air of his quarters met his flushed skin. Blinking his eyes open, his vision hazy, he sat up. Looking into the other’s eyes, his hands slid down the other’s chest to rest against his lap. His fingers trembled as he undid the clasps to the android’s pants. He thought he saw a flicker of a hungry glint in the other’s eyes as he hooked his fingers over the waistband of his pants and slid the offending garments down his hips.

You sat up to stand on his knees, making it easier for the other man to slip his pants over his narrow hips. Shifting, he walked his hands forward on the bed, slowly easing Cha back to lie on the bed. The other used his knees and bare feet to remove the remainder of his clothing, letting them slide off of his legs and onto the floor.

They lay naked, pressed tight against each other, and breathed, their lips barely touching. “You…” Cha began, his hands gliding up the other’s arms and shoulders to caress his face and tangle in his short hair. “You…make love to me.” His dark eyes searched the android’s, pleading.

You gazed down at the smaller man for a moment before averting his eyes. “I…do not know how…”

Cha smiled softly, his hands returning to cup the other’s face between them. “I’ll show you…” Leaning up, he captured the automaton’s lips with his own.

*****

Cha lay exhausted under the other man, basking in a glow he had never known before. Sex had never been like this with anyone else. He was completely and utterly spent. He felt You shift above him, withdrawing himself which drew a soft complaint from the smaller man, and then roll him over onto his side, his back to the other. His mind still fuzzy, he sighed, “You…” He could feel himself succumbing to sleep.

You hushed him and caressed his shoulder. Pressing a chaste kiss to the soft skin, he whispered softly, “Rest sir…” He brushed strands of damp hair away from the other man’s face. “Rest now…”

And with that, Cha surrendered himself to the abyss.

[1] For those that didn’t recognize it, this was the first line to “Sayonara” on Rebirth (c) Gackt C.