“T.E.N.A.N.T.”

Author’s Notes: This is a long one, guys – over 10 pages in Word. Italics (for whole sentences) are memories, FYI. The big section of them is new. There are parts cut and spliced from Chapter 8, but for the most part, it’s new (and improved upon).

“He doesn’t remember what happened. Who we are, our relations. He’s forgotten everything, Cha,” Gackt said with such an even and matter-of-fact tone it was unsettling. The three men sat in the living room while You sat in the other room, motionless. “He doesn’t remember how to feel.”

Cha couldn’t take his eyes off of the Automaton’s back as he sat cross legged on the floor in the adjoining bedroom, facing away from them. “What’s he doing?” he whispered, his voice shaking.

Gackt glanced at the android and took a sip of the scotch in his hand. “Recharging. He had a long day before Ren and I brought him here.”

“He had to go through a bunch of tests,” Ren explained, “to make sure he wasn’t going to overload or something once outside the exam rooms.”

Cha sat still for several moments, taking in that knowledge. You wasn’t You anymore. He was the robot again, the computer with dead eyes. “It’s funny,” he laughed bitterly. “I spent three years waiting for him to come back, to walk through the door, for it to all be just a bad dream. And now that he’s here…I realize it’s not him anymore.” He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. “Seven years out the window,” he muttered as he stood and paced to the windows on the other side of the room. He rested his hands on the window frame and clenched his eyes shut, willing the tears to go away.

It had happened again. He had lost him again. You…he had failed him again and now he was gone. He didn’t know if he could take it…

“Not…entirely,” came Gackt’s soft words.

Cha blinked his eyes several times and turned back to the two seated men. “What?”

“You said that it’s seven years gone. Not entirely. You see, there is a way…” he trailed off.

“A way for what?” Cha asked, feeling his heart speed up.

“There is a way to bring him back,” Gackt said at last, but his voice carried a warning wrapped in between his words.

“Well why didn’t you bring him ‘back’ then?”

“Because we weren’t the ones that were closest to him,” Ren answered. “You were.”

We were close. Cha felt the world come crashing down around him at that simple explanation. To relive it all again, to hold him, to remember how those eyes went dark as he died... No, no he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t! Not now, not again. Not after he left him there, abandoned him there, alone in those woods. He should have brought him with him, he could have carried him with Ren. He could have! Why hadn’t he? Why had he left him alone to die? How could he have left him?

“We can never entirely forget something. Even the smallest thing can trigger larger things, can bring back whole memories and not just bits and pieces. Our senses can unlock things that were hidden from us and others, even.” Gackt paused, taking in the Cha’s state. “We thought of all people, you’d be able to do this Cha.”

His hand shook as it came up and covered his mouth and he closed his eyes, surrendering to the darkness behind the lids. His body trembled from head to toe as those words repeated over and over in his mind, echoing with the guilt. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it…

There was a warm hand on his arm and a gentle tug and he felt himself being pulled into someone’s arms. He let himself be embraced and felt a shuddering sigh escape his lips. Against his ear, soft lips moved against his skin.

“I can’t guarantee that this will work,” Gackt whispered. “I can’t guarantee that he’ll remember everything or anything at all. You are the only one who’d be able to bring him back, and judging by your reaction, I’m not sure if even you could. But for him to remember anything between you, you have to try.”

There was movement behind him and he felt Ren’s hand touch his back. “Cha…if you don’t want this, we can take him back. Reassign him, and you’ll never see him again.”

Cha couldn’t answer, so instead he trembled in Gackt’s arms. To send You away meant he would never see him again, but he would be constantly haunted by his memory. He would see him in the bars, in the cities, in his bed…But to keep him here, to teach him again, to make him remember…he wasn’t sure if he could handle it.

Above him, he felt Gackt shake his head and Ren’s hand left his back with a comforting pat between the shoulder blades. “You,” the red head called out softly. “It’s time to go.” Cha heard the whisper of a system booting up and the shifting of fabric in the other room as the Automaton stood and began to follow Ren to the door.

“No,” he gasped, twisting Gackt’s shirt in his hand. “No.”

“Ren, wait,” Gackt ordered and the movement behind him stopped.

Pulling away slightly, Cha looked up at the other with tears staining his cheeks and he whispered, “Let him stay here. Don’t take him away from me again. Please, not again.”

Gackt smiled gently down at the other man and cupped his face in his hands. “Okay,” he murmured before looking up at the two by the door. “You,” he began, “you are to stay here with Cha, is that understood?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Ren and I will be back at the compound with Masa and the others. Should you need us--” he looked down at Cha, “--should either of you need us, you know how to get in touch.”

And before Cha could make sense of it all, Ren and Gackt were gone, leaving him and the Automaton alone in the small apartment. Turning, he looked up into eyes he recognized, eyes that didn’t recognize him. “Hello, You,” he said. “I’m a good friend of yours, from a long time ago.”

*****

Time passed quickly in the apartment. Cha spent it painting or spending time with You, searching for memories that remained locked in the android’s head. He talked of things they had done in the city. He showed him photographs of the 4^th during happier times. He had taken him on walks through the not-so-seedy sections of the city that they and the others had frequented during their brief periods of R&R…

Eventually, he gave up trying to find those hidden memories and focused only on the now.

Cha guided You’s hands over the knife, watching the silver blade slice through the vegetables for the soup that simmered on the stovetop. “Be careful not to cut your fingers,” he said as he pulled away to attend to the rest of the meal.

They passed several moments in silence save for the sound of food cooking and the opening and closing of the cabinets as Cha readied the table and other dishes. But then You hissed and stopped chopping vegetables. Cha turned from where he was in the archway and looked back at him. The Automaton held his hand and stared intently at one of his fingers.

Cha smiled a bit and said, “See? My knives are sharp. Let me look at it,” and took You’s hand in his own, but stopped when he saw the cut.

Instead of the bright red of blood as he had expected to see, what oozed from the cut was darker, almost black as it glistened against the other’s skin.

“It’s not the same.”

Cha blinked several times and looked up at the Automaton. “What?”

“It’s not the same,” You repeated nodding down at his cut finger. “It’s not like yours.”

The other lowered his eyes. Reaching over to the sink, he grabbed the washcloth and dabbed gently at the cut.

“…is that bad?”

Cha stopped and looked up into the dark, glassy eyes that shown with something that resembled confusion…or hesitation? “No,” he answered resolutely. “It’s not bad.” He smiled and pulled the washcloth from You’s hand. “Go get a bandage and come back so you can finish helping me with dinner.”

You nodded and left the room, still looking down at the cut in his finger.

*****

His eyes were on him again, watching. At times, it was frustrating, being constantly observed, but there were other times – times like this – that it was actually rather enjoyable. “Do you like to paint, You?” Cha asked, not looking away from his work as he spread a streak of blue across the canvas.

“I do not know,” came the short reply. Cha chanced a glance at the Automaton through the corner of his eye. You sat straight-backed on one of the chairs in the small living room.

“Well why don’t you come over and see for yourself? You’ll never know if you like something or not if you don’t try it.”

You sat quietly for a moment before standing and striding over to the shorter man. Cha stepped aside and gestured to a chair at the table behind them. “You can pull that chair over and sit down, so I can help you. You’re a little too tall for me this way,” he explained. The Automaton complied and soon enough, he was in position in front of the canvas and Cha stood behind him. “Now…what do you want to paint?”

“I do not know.”

“Well, I can’t pick for you – then the painting wouldn’t be any good.” He took You’s hand and held it in his, balancing a brush between their fingers. “You’re in charge. What do you want to paint?”

You seemed to think for a moment before he answered. “A bird.”

Cha smiled. “Birds are easy,” he said. “Or at least when they’re far away, they are.” He moved their interlocked hands, dipping the brush in the blue paint and taking it to the canvas. He made a series of short strokes in an effort to make a flock of flying birds.

When he pulled their hands away, You piped up. “Those just look like a group of ‘V’s, Cha,” he corrected, looking up at the man who stood behind him.

Cha had to suppress a laugh and he nodded. “Alright, well if you’re such a hot-shot, why don’t you paint a bird? I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner.” As You turned back to the canvas, the shorter man walked across the apartment and started to cook.

Some time later, after dinner was done and set at the kitchen table, Cha strode back into the living room to call You to supper, but stopped dead in his tracks, his voice dying on his tongue.

“Do you like the bird?” You asked.

Cha stood silent for a long time staring at the canvas. The bird was stunning, its blue wings out stretched, caught a moment before it left its perch and flew into the air. Its body twisted in movement, its head checking the air behind over his shoulder.

“Did I do it wrong?”

The question shook Cha from his awe and brought him quickly back to the present. His eyes met You’s and for a split second, he thought he saw worry? Hesitation? He wasn’t sure. “No, You…” he began as he walked up to the canvas. “This is beautiful. He’s beautiful.” He touched the canvas and smiled. Taking a step back behind You, he ran his hand affectionately through the Automaton’s hair. “Where did you see that bird, You?” Cha asked, for surely he hadn’t seen it here in the city.

“In the forest.”

Cha’s hand stopped its stroking of the other’s brown hair. “Really.” His voice had grown weak.

“He flew away very fast. I do not remember why. Maybe he was scared.”

The standing man closed his eyes and bit his lip. Taking a deep breath, he ran in his fingers through You’s hair again, pausing for only a moment at the base of his skull. Let me kiss it better. “I don’t think he’s scared anymore.”

“No,” You answered, “but he does not have any feet. Or eyes. Or a beak.”

Cha smiled and dropped his hand. “After dinner I’ll get out more colors and you can finish him.” The Automaton nodded but continued to look at his painting. “Do you like painting now, You?” Cha asked as he left the other’s side to walk towards the kitchen.

“Yes, I do,” the other said as he stood to follow, his glass eyes lingering on the painting. “I like painting.”

*****

Cha stood and put his book down. Crossing the room, he smiled at You as he moved past him, “I’m going to head to bed. Don’t stay up too--”

He didn’t finish the sentence. As his arm brushed You’s, the android’s hand shot out and his hand caught Cha around the wrist. You’s eyes were unfocused as he turned the hand over in his own. Bringing the palm up to his lips, he pressed the softest of kisses against the warm skin. Releasing the hand after a moment, he said, “Goodnight, Cha.”

Shaken, the other stood rigid for a moment. Cha swallowed and stole his nerves. Leaning forward, he brushed his own lips against You’s temple and whispered, “Goodnight, You,” before hastily leaving the room.

*****

“Hey…You?”

The android turned from the canvas to look at the man who stood by the doorway.

“I have to run some errands and pick some groceries up. Can you stay here for a bit, while I’m out?”

You nodded. Of course it was okay. He wanted to paint. “I can stay here.”

Cha smiled. “Okay.” He stepped into his boots and dropping to the floor, he laced them.

Distracted, he didn’t notice You’s eyes on him. You watched the other man’s long-fingered hands run along the laces, tightening them around his ankles and calves and felt something.

Black boots. Tall boots. Pacing, always pacing…

He blinked and shook his head.

“You alright?”

You looked back at the man in the doorway as Cha pulled on his coat.

“Yes, I’m alright.”

“Okay…I’ll be gone for a couple hours. I have to meet with Gackt, and I don’t know how long it will take.”

“That’s fine. Say hello to them for me.”

Cha smiled and nodded. Stepping out, he locked the door behind him.

*****

You stood up and drew away from the canvas. He wasn’t sure how long he had sat there while his brush painted strokes of blues and grays, but his body had turned stiff. Walking into the kitchen, he pulled out a glass and poured himself some water from the kettle on the stove. The water had long since gone cold, but he didn’t mind.

Glass in hand, he roamed the apartment. It was something he had done often enough whenever Cha had had to leave him alone for any amount of time. He…liked going through the rooms because every time he did, he discovered something new about the man he lived with.

But there was one room he had never ventured into – the bedroom Cha kept for himself. He glanced up at the door across the room.

Something in there pulled at him.

You put the glass down on an end table and took quick strides across the living area and swung the door open.

It was an immense breech of privacy, something in him said, to intrude on the bedroom. This was his bedroom. It was off-limits…but You ignored it as he stepped inside.

Really, there was not anything too remarkable. It was tidier than the rest of the apartment perhaps. The sheets were made on the bed. The clothes were in the dresser.

You felt his lips twitch upward in a smile. The room smelled like the other man and it made him feel…safe? Secure? Those words weren’t it, he knew, but he couldn’t think of what it was.

Opening the doors to Cha’s closet the odd feeling intensified. Cha’s scent was intoxicating, and he closed his eyes to it, allowing his hand to run along the clothes hanging their, touching and caressing each of the fabrics in turn.

The cold of a winter morning. The forest was quiet.

“Think we’ll get any action today?”

“Doubtful.” You’s eyes shot open when he spoke aloud, the sound of his own voice startling him. He blinked and the sound of snow falling melted away. Pulling his arm from the depths of the closet, he withdrew…a uniform.

A black one.

He’d seen it before. Placing it on the bed, he stared down at it. Gackt had been wearing it. So had Ren, and Masa too, he thought. But that wasn’t it, he decided, shaking his head. Somewhere else, on someone else…on Cha? It had to be Cha’s.

Turning back to the closet, he slid the other clothes to the side. On the floor stood a pair of polished black boots.

Tall, black boots.

Boots that paced.

Pulling them out of the closet, he touched the leather, gently as if it would disintegrate and fade away in his hands. You put them down on the floor in front of the uniform which once again drew his gaze. Reaching out a shaking hand, he touched the collar on the jacket, running his fingers along the gold bands. They were rough against his fingers.

“I don’t think they’ll care if one of the buttons isn’t in its slot.”

“But this is regulation,” he whispered as his fingers wandered back to the collar.

His fingers slid inside the jacket and touched the red tie. It was smooth, but mostly hidden by the jacket and so he slid it off of the hanger, placing it gently on the bed next to the rest of the uniform. He touched the tie again, but let his fingers wander to the black shirt underneath. With a gasp, You pulled his hand away.

A black shirt, clinging to the pale skin it hid underneath. A shudder went through the body before him as his hands reached out to touch.

You backed up against the wall with the force of the image. It was there. It was right there – so close he could taste it, and yet it floated away like mist before his eyes. His body trembled…and it wasn’t an entirely unpleasant feeling.

Pushing away from the wall, he touched the shirt again, feeling the smooth fibers under his fingertips, running his hands down along the shirt till they reached the black pants.

He stilled his fingers as they started to shake, making it hard to undo the buttons. The man underneath him shivered when the cold air of the room around them hit his flushed skin. He was beautiful.

You hadn’t realized he’d made it up onto the bed itself. He clutched desperately at the clothes as the images came, as the memories came…

You walked through the base’s dimly lit hallways, almost in a daze. There was only one place he was going that night, one objective. Everything else was like a distant memory, there and yet not important.

He had to see him, to be with him, even if only just for tonight.

He didn’t know how long he had stood in front of the door which separated him from Cha. Swallowing hard, he raised a hand and knocked twice.

The response was quick. “Come in.”

You opened the door and shut it softly behind him but didn’t speak. He couldn’t. The words he had wanted to say suddenly died on his tongue.

When his visitor didn’t speak, Cha turned and gasped, his legs bumping the edge of the cot by the wall when he took a step back.

“Did I frighten you, sir?” You asked, his voice soft. The other’s shirt was unbuttoned half-way and he could see the ‘V’ of pale skin beneath.

Cha licked his lips and shook his head. Rubbing the back of his neck, he sighed and turned his back on You again to continue undressing. “No, You. I’m just a bit jumpy, that’s all. What was it that you needed?” When You didn’t respond, Cha prodded, “You?” glancing sidelong at him.

You blinked for a moment, calming his nerves. He felt as if he was pulled taut, to the point of being pulled apart. “I’ve…thought. Over what you said nine days and thirteen hours ago. Thought about…love.”

Cha turned his face away from the other, his arms coming up to hug his torso. He looked so lost, so afraid. ‘Do I do this to you?’ You almost asked, but pressed onward. “I have heard…” he took a step forward, “that children sometimes play a game.” He stood and waited.

“What game?” came the shaking response. Cha’s voice sounded…tired, weak.

“They play pretend,” You answered, taking a few more steps until he was barely a breath away from the other man. He could smell him. “They create their own world.”

Cha nearly succeeded in suppressing the shiver that ran up his spine, but You saw. He saw the way his eyes fluttered for a moment when their bodies nearly touched, heard his heart racing, his breath catching just slightly behind his lips…You studied him, memorized him for a long moment, until Cha’s eyes came up to meet his own.

Hands shaking, You reached out and cupped the other’s cheek in his hand. To his surprise, Cha yielded to the caress, melted into the touch, his eyes fluttering shut once again. You bent forward and whispered against the shell of Cha’s ear. “Let’s pretend that…” he struggled with the words, “that I’m human, and that…I…love you. And you love me.”

Tears slid from between Cha’s dark lashes, leaving silver trails on his pale cheeks. No, he wasn’t supposed to cry. You leaned forward to catch the glistening drops with his lips, but the shorter man turned, catching the other’s lips with his own. Startled, the android was at first unsure how to react, but as Cha’s lips moved against his, coaxing, he responded in kind, their lips moving against each other like desperate lovers.

Sliding his hands up the other man’s arms, he rid Cha of his shirt, slowly letting it slip from his shoulders until it fell in a black pool on the floor. Their kiss deepened, dueling with each other until Cha gently urged You to follow him, pulling gently on his arms and drawing him down to join him on the bed. You heard it squeak in mild protest at their combined weight. Laying back, he pulled You on top of him.

You’s lips caressed Cha’s cheeks and temples while the other’s hands slid from his shoulders to undo his shirt, button by button. The android brought his lips back up to his mouth, their lips meeting again as Cha slid the garment down his arms. You felt as if an immense weight had been lifted and he pressed himself back down against the other man. The feel of skin against skin was so sweet and You’s lips returned to plant butterfly kisses against the curve of Cha’s jaw.

When Cha’s hands trailed back over the automaton’s shoulders to rest against his chest, their eyes met and a look of sudden consternation flitted across Cha’s face. “You…how--?”

He didn’t have to finish the question – You knew what it pertained to. Pressing his hips down against Cha’s, he felt the other’s hard length press against his own and when he saw how lovely Cha’s face contorted, thanked his makers for making him anatomically correct. Cha’s head fell against the pillow, his eyes rolling back into his head. “Oh, God…” Smiling to himself, You slowly moved down his body until he could sit back between the other’s legs and got to work undoing the clasps of the lieutenant’s pants.

The smaller man shivered as the cool air of the dark quarters met his flushed skin. Blinking his eyes open, he sat up and looked into You’s eyes. Reaching out, Cha slid his hands down the other’s chest to rest against his lap and his fingers trembled as he undid the fastenings to the android’s pants.

You bit his lip against the sudden urge to throw the other down against the bed, but the rational part of him asked, ‘Then what?’ You wasn’t entirely sure, so he allowed Cha to hook his fingers over the waistband of the android’s pants and slide the offending garments down his hips.

Once they were both left suitably nude, You shifted, walking his hands forward on the bed, slowly easing Cha down to lie on his back. They lay naked, pressed tight against each other, and breathed, their lips barely touching.

“You…” Cha began, his hands gliding up the other’s arms and shoulders to caress his face and tangle in his short hair. “You…make love to me.” His dark eyes searched the android’s, pleading.

You gazed down at the smaller man for a moment before averting his eyes. “I…do not know how…”

Cha smiled softly, his hands returning to cup the other’s face between them. “I’ll show you…” Leaning up, he captured the automaton’s lips with his own and You gave into the kiss.

Rolling them over, Cha straddled his hips and leaned down to kiss him again. Their lips moved against each other as their hands roamed over each others bodies. You felt as if every inch of skin Cha touched was on fire.

With gentle force, Cha pushed You’s hands off of him, sliding down the android’s body, his lips and tongue branding every inch of skin in reach. You watched as Cha moved above him, approaching that insistent ache in his nether regions.

Cha’s lips wandered from their straight path from the android’s bellybutton and slid along the warm skin along You’s hipbones. His tongue flicked out to run along the smooth ridge. He moved lower, lapping at his inner thighs before turning to the hard shaft and running the flat of his tongue along the underside of You’s need. Raising his head a bit, he smiled and whispered, “It’s okay to make noise…”

You could hear the suppressed laughter in the words and so he closed his eyes and groaned. It felt so good…

“Much better.” Cha dropped his head and took You’s length fully into his mouth and the automaton’s body went rigid for a moment as his nerves tried to make sense of the amazing sensations caused by the lieutenant’s mouth.

You lay shuddering and panting as the man above him took him deeper into his mouth, but after a moment, Cha released him again to say, “You have to move.” He placed his hands on You’s hips and rocked them up and down. “Like this…” As You seemed to get a handle on it, Cha wrapped a hand around the base of the android’s cock, pumping it slowly up and down. “Just feel, You. Just feel…and then let go…” Ducking his head back down, he took him fully into his mouth, bobbing his head as You’s pace picked up.

Cha’s words were a mantra in You’s head: feel then let go, feel then let go… Then blinding light. You gasped and arched off the bed, feeling the tension in his abdomen spark and then unravel. Panting, he blinked his eyes open to find Cha smirking down at him, licking his lips. “What was that?” surprised at how hoarse he sounded.

“That, You,” Cha smiled, “ was an orgasm, and if things go the way you want them to tonight, there will be more later.” He bent his head and took the android’s lips with his own in another deep kiss, his fingers coming up to caress You’s cheeks.

After a moment, You pulled gently away and looked up at the other. “Can I do that to you?”

Cha smiled. “If you want…”

Shifting, You rolled them both over, flipping their positions. He slid his hands down Cha’s sides while his lips moved down the other’s neck and chest, pausing to nip lightly at one of the perked nipples. Cha’s eyes shut and he sighed, letting his head fall back against the bed.

You moved slowly down the other’s body, tasting every inch of skin until he reached that place that had been so sinfully wonderful on him. Glancing up at the other man, he lowered his head, and pressed a light kiss to the weeping tip, collecting the precum with his tongue. Cha gasped and arched his back, his hands coming down to tighten around You’s shoulders.

Closing his eyes, the automaton focused only on giving the same pleasure he’d received, bobbing his head and running his tongue along the underside of Cha’s cock. It didn’t take too long until the other cried out and arched up into You’s mouth, filling it with his bitter-tasting orgasm.

After a moment, Cha pulled You back up for another kiss and moaned. “You learn quick – that was wonderful…” Their lips moved against each other over and over again and You wondered if this was how it was to feel light-headed. “I don’t want you in my mouth again,” Cha whispered against his lips. “I want you inside me.”

You blinked down at him. “There’s more?”

Cha chuckled. “Of course.”

“But how…?”

Smirking, Cha joined their hands and slid them down his body and between his legs to stroke the tight bud of his entrance. You blinked again, this time startled. “But won’t that hurt you?”

Cha’s smile softened. Releasing You’s hand he reached out to open the drawer in the bedside table and withdrew a bottle of lotion. “Not if we use this,” he assured.

You worried his lip when he looked at the bottle. How was this going to work? Cha saw the hesitation and reached up to caress You’s face. “Trust me,” he whispered. “I’ll show you.” Bringing You down closer to him, he nuzzled his neck and kissed his shoulder, the automaton mirroring the action.

You heard the bottle cap open, and Cha heating the lotion between his hands, and then two slick hands circling his length. He gasped against the shell of Cha’s ear, but as the hands worked on him, his gasp melted into a moan.

Taking You’s hands in his, Cha squeezed a dollop of the lotion onto his hands and rubbed them together, coating his long fingers. Wrapping his arms over You’s shoulders, Cha raised his legs up over You’s hips. “Slide one inside me,” he whispered against You’s hear, his breath coming in sharp pants. When You complied, easing his finger inside the body beneath him, Cha whispered again, an edge of desperation entering his voice, “Move it…in and out…tell me how I feel…”

“Your tight,” You whispered back as his finger prepared Cha’s body, “and hot…”

Cha moaned and gasped, “Add another. Please…” When You did so, Cha moaned a little louder, his body beginning to rock. Adding some pressure to the other’s neck, he brought the android down to look him in the eyes. “I want you now…I want you inside me…”

Sliding his fingers from the other’s body, You repositioned himself so he was poised just at Cha’s entrance. The lieutenant reached up and cupped the other’s cheeks in his hands and whispered, “Go gentle at first – it’s been awhile…”

You smiled and ducked his head to capture Cha’s lips with his own as he entered him. The man beneath him moaned into the kiss, his fingers grasping at his shoulders, as they began to move together. Pressed so close together You felt they shared the same breath, the same body, they same heart as they made love.

“Don’t stop touching me,” Cha gasped against the other’s lips, his arms tightening around You’s neck and shoulders as their bodies rocked on the bed.

Climax approached quickly. Too quickly. You didn’t want it to end, not yet. He felt Cha’s body contract around him and a strangled cry escaped the other’s lips. “I love you,” You gasped against the other’s lips as he too reached the pinnacle and toppled over to the other side.

He lay awake afterwards, listening to Cha’s heartbeat slow, his breathe become steady and even as he approached sleep. “Cha…?” You whispered.

“Mmm…?” Cha pressed himself closer to the warm body.

“I love you,” he said softly, his hands sliding along the other’s pale back, relishing in the feel of the soft skin.

“I love you too…”

You smiled. Scooting down the bed, he wrapped his arms fully around the other man and held him as he closed his eyes and slept.

He awoke some hours later. The day had not come yet, but he knew he had to leave. Kissing the other’s face, he bid a hasty goodbye as Cha slept.

Daylight came too soon. There were gunshots. And blood. The enemy.

“Am I human now?”

“No.”

They took him. When he saw him next, he was beaten, shaken, broken. So frightened.

The forest. The man behind him.

Pain. So much pain.

Cha screamed.

Arms around him. Holding him. “…don’t leave me…”

“I love you.”

And darkness.

You sobbed on the bed, clutching onto anything that was real.

*****

“You? I’m home!” Cha called out into the apartment. Putting the groceries down, he knelt to undo the laces on his boots, standing back up again to slide them off. “I’m sorry I was gone longer than I thought.” When there wasn’t a response, Cha walked further into the apartment. “You?”

There was no sign of the other. Fighting back the panic rising in his chest, he walked around the apartment and finally, when You still had not made an appearance, he noticed the door to his room was ajar. Striding quickly to the door, he swung it open but froze in the doorway. “You?”

The android lay curled on his side on the bed facing the window, Cha’s old 4^th uniform clutched in arms. When he didn’t say anything, Cha came up behind him and touched his shoulder. “You?”

“Were we lovers?”

Cha swallowed. Closer now, he could see the tear tracks on the other’s cheek. “No, we weren’t.”

“Why?”

He bit his lip and climbed onto the bed behind his friend, returning his hand to its place on You’s arm, rubbing it in an effort to comfort. “Because…” His hand stilled. “Because I was afraid.”

“Of what?” You’s voice trembled and he sniffed, his body shifting as he brought an arm up to rub at his eyes.

“Of losing you,” Cha said after a moment.

“But I loved you.”

There was such honest conviction in the other’s voice, Cha felt his eyes well up, felt the guilt coming back. “I know…I know…” He couldn’t stop the first tears slipping past his lashes. “I’m so sorry, You…”

“…I just wanted to be real to you…” the other whispered.

Cha sniffed and blinked his eyes. Wrapping his arms fully around the android, he pressed his cheek to the other’s shoulder. “You were. You were always real to me.”

“Did you love me?”

“Yes.”

There was a pause. A long pause and Cha felt his ears ring with the silence between them.

Then You moved. Rolling over in Cha’s arms, he looked into his eyes and asked him softly, “Did you love me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love me now?”

Cha took You’s face in his hands and smiled through his tears. “Then…Now…Forever.”