Donna's Salute
Dear Vivian,
I just had to write and tell you how much your advice has helped me and my marriage and to tell you about a wonderful way I came up with to be assured of my husband's best behavior when he is most at risk for acting disrespectfully or cranky.
First of all, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for your advice last year and for helping me initiate Domestic Discipline with my husband. The improvement in our marrige is remarkable and I am happier than I've ever been. The wonderful change in my husband has been sustained now for over half a year and our marriage just gets sweeter every day. This is not to say that he does not fall short at times (and I have to admit that I've come to enjoy those little opportunities to correct him), but with the methods of discipline you've taught me and a little trick of my own I can always bring him back to full devotion. As you told me, he is happier than he's ever been also.
Here's the thing I wanted to tell you about, my own little creation. As we all know by now, a man is much more attentive to his wife when he's in a state of sexual arousal for her. In our written Domestic Discipline contract my husband agreed with the general principle that his sexuality rightfully belongs to me. I've also included in our contract a concrete symbol of this abstract principle.
Here's how it works. Bill (my husband) must present to me, upon my demand, an erection. We call it "Donna's Salute." I can demand my salute at any time and if it takes him more than one minute to present one I assume it is because he has masturbated since my last salute and he gets a severe spanking. I let at least a day go be between an authorized ejaculation and the next salute to be sure I'm being fair. I get my salute at least once a day and on some days quite a few times if necessary. It works well when he comes home from work. I demand my salute and he spends the rest of the evening doing as I ask him: setting the table, doing the dishes, spending time with the kids while I relax, etc....
The salute comes in most handy when we are with friends or family. There is a certain group of friends we've had since long before we were married and we enjoy their company often. Bill sometimes gets a little arrogant when we are with them, though, and is not always as respectful to me as he should be. I think it makes him feel like a big shot to take me for granted in front of his friends. When I start to see him acting in anyway inconsiderate of me I simply tell him I need to speak with him alone and demand my salute (this is always done in private in that I would never think of humiliating him in front of these friends). After he has given me my salute we rejoin the group and he is sweet and considerate of me again. It's like magic!
As a rule I make him go at least two weeks between orgasms so most of the time he is very able to provide the salute. When he is not able to provide my salute within a minute, it is still effective because he treats me wonderfully the rest of the day in order the mitigate the severity of the spanking he knows he is to receive in the near future.
Just thought I'd pass it on for what it might be worth to you and your readers.
Thanks again for the happiness you have brought to my marriage.
Love,
Donna
The Chart and the Weekly Review
Dear Vivian,
I wanted to wite to tell you how much I appreciate the advice you've given me about Domestic Discipline and to let you know how the chart is working. Since I initiated DD with my husband about a year ago, our marriage has become better than it every was (just as you said it would). Thank you for your advice and for giving me the courge to try.
One way I've found of keeping my husband on his best behavior at all times is to keep a chart of his behaviors in one of those diary type books with a lock on it. I let my husband know that I keep this chart but I never let him actually see it. He know what I track in the chart and he knows that the chart will have a tremendous impact on him at his weekly review, but he has never seen it. The chart allows me to stop him in his tracks with just a look when he starts acting up or looks like he is about to neglect either me or something around the house that he is supposed to do. My look says, I'll make a note of this in the chart. That is often enough to turn his behavior around or even his attitude if he is about to lose his temper.
Sunday after church is our weekly review time. We drop the kids at their grandparents and have a couple hours of quality time to ourselves. It is a wonderfully relaxing time for me as Nick (my husband) carefully prepares brunch for me. He either serves me at table while I read the paper or on a TV tray if I want to watch TV. After brunch Nick cleans up and does the dishes while I relax and digest. Then I have him rub my feet or do my nails (I made him take a course in manicure so he could provide me this service at no expense to our family budget).
Finally I tell him to go upstairs and get my chart book and my hairbrush. He knows where the book is kept, but does not have accesss to the key. I keep the key with me at all times along with the key to his chastity belt when it is in use. When he has handed me the brush and the book I tell him to remove his clothes and stand in the corner facing the wall. He is to keep absolute silence while I review his chart.
Actually, there is very little documentation in this book. I keep track of his last ejaculation and whether or not it was an authorized one and of his last spanking and how many swats I gave him. Any egregious offenses go in there such as losses of temper, disrespectful behavior or attitude toward me, drinking to intoxication, direct disobedience of a command, or failure to take care of his most basic household duties. The following is a list of all the things he thinks are documented in the chart:
* Length of time since his last ejaculation,
* All of the household chores he has done during the week,
* All services he has provided me during the week -- foot rubs, back massages, errands,
dinners, etc....
* All gifts and tokens of his love he has given me that week -- flowers, cards, etc....,
* A daily breakdown of how pleasant or unpleasant he was around the house for each of the
past six days.
* The number and quality of the orgasms he has given me over the past week,
* And any prohibited activities he h as engaged in over the past week.
He doesn't know that only the first and last items along with date and severty of his last spanking are in the chart. As he stands facing the corner I unlock and open the book. I make knowing "hmmm" and "uhuh" noises as I thumb through the pages so he thinks I'm reviewing all the above data. My decisions about when I will authorize his next ejaculation and his punishment are based on a combination of the little data I do keep track of, my general principles, and the mood I'm in at the time. He does know that my mood plays a role. That is why he's so attentive to making a nice brunch and assuring that the hour or so before the review is as pleasant as possible for me. That is why he is exceptionally sweet to me on Saturday nights. He knows that my feelings toward him are much more tender after he's given me a good orgasm or two.
If he has committed any of the more egregious offenses he gets a severe