This is simple. You need only demand that he adore you. The next paragraphs tell you how to do that successfully and lastingly. As you read this you need to set aside the objections and doubts that will come naturally to mind. The sections entitled Why This Works, The Gift of Hope, and The Moral Advantages will address those concerns. Read them after you have read this page. For now, keep an open mind.
Your husband will adore a woman who exerts sexual power. There are basically two types of power in the world, the power to reward and the power to punish. You will use both to improve your husband, your marriage and your own happiness.
REWARD
Throughout history women have used sex to influence the behavior of men, withholding or granting sex in order to get what they want from men. There are two reasons sex has been used in this way: 1) It works, and 2) It is natural.
This is evident from recent socialogical history. When women forced men to wait until marriage before having sex, marriages and famlies were stronger. Men were more polite and respectful. Men worked harder at courting and felt more appreciative of the privleges marriage provided. As women have given up that power and made sex outside of marriage more available to men in recent decades they have found themselves, their children and society in worse condition.
The fact is that sex is a powerful tool that can benefit women in many ways if they use it wisely. I have read essays from women who advocate withholding and granting sex within a marriage in order to influence a husband's behavior (See Lady Misato's site on the Links page). Women have been doing this for years and while there is a basic widsom in the idea, it has a few very important flaws.
The first flaw is that sex is an essential component of a good marriage and sexual availability to one another (within limits of course) is one of the basic covenants of a marriage. A woman does not advance her husband's commitment to the marriage by violating her own commitment to it. Sexual neglect of a wife toward her husband causes justified resentments to build up within him that threaten the marriage.
The second flaw is that, unless a wife uses a chastity device on her husband (we'll talk about that later) her husband simply can and will masturbate. Worse yet, his resentment combined with his sexual frustation may lead to an affair.
The third flaw is that it is simply no fun for a wife to withhold sex. It may be a news flash to some but women enjoy sex too. Its absence from a marriage diminishes a wife's satisfaction as well as the husband's. Sexual intimacy needs to be a constant in any good marriage.
No, the best way to harness the power of sex in your marriage is not to withhold it. The best way is to enjoy sex often but to regulate your husband's orgasms.
I'll repeat this because it is the basis of my thesis. You must regulate your husband's orgasms! There are two components to this regulation. You must strictly forbid your husband to masturbate (except when directed by you to do so) and you must deny your husband orgasm during sex and allow it only when he has earned it either by his behavior or the length of time since his has orgasm (or a combination of the two). Once you have begun to regluate his orgasms the orgasm becomes the reward for which your husband strives to please you. When you exercise your power to deny him an orgasm his attention becomes yours in ways you've never known.
I expalin this further in the section Why This Works. But I want to emphasize here that this practice is actually more kind than cruel (though I must admit that it gives me thrill to hear my husband moan in agony when I deny him his orgasm). Since I started this practice with my husband there are a couple of things he's shared with me that seem, from my conversations with others and my research, almost universal. When you bring your man to a state of heightened sexual arousal and deny him a physiological orgasm he experiences a kind of psychological orgasm that is more like a woman's in that it makes him want to be close to you and hold you and cuddle, the kinds of things that women enjoy after sex. Think about the way he acts toward you after he ejaculates during sex. If your husband is like most men, he wants to roll over and pretend you're not there. Before I understood the dynamics of this behavior and took action to deal with it I felt a twinge of rejection every time I had sex with my husband. Now after sex when I've denied my husband's orgasm (which is the majority of the time), he cuddles with me or talks with me and holds me until I fall asleep or tell him it's time to let me sleep. I feel much more valued when I deny his orgasm than I do when I let him cum.
When your husband is close to orgasm and unsure whether or not you will allow him release, you become the most beautiful and powerful woman in the world to him. When you intentionally deny him an orgasm this image of you as powerful and beautiful is forcefully imprinted in his mind and his adoration of you reaches new heights. It may seem bizarre but he feels more appreciation for you when you deny him what he so desperately wants than he does when you give it to him.
When he does have an orgasm after first being put through the rigors of denial for a few days or weeks it is much more powerful and satisfying for him than it could be otherwise. You may even find that if you've made his desire build up over enough time and frustration that he cuddles and strokes you even after he's had his orgasm. He is that much more apprecciative of the additional satisfaction of ejaculation. Once he has experienced such a powerful orgasm, this "reward" that you allow him becomes even more influential.
Thus far I have discussed the effects this system has on your husband's sexual experience. The most importand thing, however, is the effect it has upon yours. That effect is discussed in detail in the secion entitled About Sex
HOME