. The time for this stupid declaration would be 1996 or 1997. It was my sophomore year, and I was stupid as ever. This memorable time in University account granted me the opportunity to meet the most inspirational person I had encountered outside of television or movies in my life. This guy was a great friend and one that I will have forever. The story of idiocy to follow though wasn’t completed with the aid of my new found life long friend, but against him. Looking back I’m fuckin lucky he had such a good sense of humor. Here goes: I was drunk one afternoon, and planning to continue drinking into the wee hours for Friday night. I was hanging out with my friend from Maine. We were outside the Plyer dorm talking as I leaning against a Jeep. Our conversation soon turned from pussy to trucks and off-roading. I was a big fan of my Maine friend’s green, Nissan truck, as he once let me go off-roadin’ with it while I was drunk in the baron wastelands adjacent to the school. That monster went over logs, through three foot water and mud. It was a fucking great time! While reminiscing about this great adventure my friend said “Fuck it, let’s go Muddin’!” I asked what’s mudding and he said “Muddin”, you know muddin, off roading! I said “Ahh cool, but I thought your truck was ready for tonight. (all cleaned up and ready to load about 12 to 14 drunk people in it’s cab to John’s, the local red neck bar, if you can call local being 5 miles away!. He said “Yeah, it is, but were going to take this baby. He motioned to and slapped the bumper of the Jeep I leaned over on. I asked him if the jeep that belonged to my dear NJ friend would make it. He replied” Fuck ya, Jeeps are the best off road vehicles!” I was excited in anticipation as my friend slipped inside the dorm to lift the keys so we could go tear em’ up!
Soon we were both driving in the cow fields off of Wesley Chapel road. My friend from Maine was right; this Jeep could kick some ass in the mud. And there was mud everywhere, all over my good friend’s beautiful jeep. After riding up and down and tearing up all the grass on the cow fields we returned to Pfeifer and parked the Jeep where it had been before. We coyly slipped the keys back in my friend’s room while he was in the shower in preparation for a night of partied frenzy that usually took place at Pfeiffer on the weekends in 1996 and 97. Thinking back to this part of story makes me laugh out loud! I was in my friend from Maine’s room with several others and heard my good friend who owned the Jeep come into the dorm, all dressed up for the evening saying “who took my Jeep muddin’ and didn’t wash it?” I was trying so hard not to fuckin’ laugh. But my friend really knew I had something to do with it. So he got undressed into a tee-shirt and shorts and drove his Jeep down to the “serve yourself” carwash.” After he left I busted out laughing so hard that all I could think about was doing this joke again. But then I got the brilliant idea to do another joke to my friend right now, while he was cleaning his jeep! I used a credit card to slip the lock and break into his dorm room. I then proceed to trash to whole fuckin’ place. I tipped the bed up against the wall, threw his clothes on the floor, dumped his dresser draws out, and then locked the door and left. I was worried about the impact this stupidity would have on my friend, so I shot all the way across campus to my room. I later started drinking and calling other friends to see the reaction about my NJ friend’s room. I heard he was pissed and swore revenge. He wanted it fixed before he got back from John’s. I suddenly got frightened as I looked around my room realizing all the money I had spent on decorating knowing that my friend could easily destroy it all. He wasn’t a typical Pfeiffer pussy, if he was determined to do something, it would be on a grand scale! So later in the evening when everyone was ready to go to John’s my friend from Maine called me and asked where the fuck I was. I told him I would make my way later. So he took 15 people in his truck over including my good friend who’s Jeep I stole, went muddin’ in, and trashed his dorm room. After they were gone I headed over to Plyer with a supply of cleaning goods and started working. I cleaned everything spotless! I fixed everything I had destroyed previously and made everything look perfect. I even ended my cleaning session by putting a mint on my friend’s pillow. I missed John’s that night but I did feel a lot better about myself. When one of my schoolmates told me how my good friend reacted when he saw his room, he replied “He loved it! He especially liked the mint on the pillow! Then he and his girlfriend enjoyed his hotel style, super clean room for the rest of the night!
