One springtime, all the eggs that the ducks had laid were starting to hatch. Out of this batch was one duck that came to be known as the Ugly Duckling. While all of the other ducks were cute, yellow, and looking like they just came out of a nature show (please, we all know that's all camera angles and lighting!), Ugly Duckling was born rather unattractive. Her feathers were ragged and with a brownish tinge, her beak a bit misshapen, and her waddle not as graceful as the other female ducks. Needless and sadly to say, she was unpopular in duck society. They would point and laugh when she came to the pond to swim, and when the duck feed was set out for them all to eat, they would crowd in front of her, leaving her with only the last bits of crumbs for food. The male ducks made jokes about how they would never date her, and the female ducks bragged about whose eggs they were laying ("laying" being the key word) just to make UD feel bad about her lack of suitors. Eventually, UD got sick and fed up with everyone and their ways of acting better than she was, so she kind of "moved into" a small abandoned hen house on the other side of the farm. She stayed by herself, feeling lonely, but at least free from the teasing and taunts of the others. She spent her time gathering straw and grass, which she knitted into rugs and such for her room.
On one day, however, her luck was about to change. The farmers had ordered a new shipment of ducks to join the bunch, and they had come in on that day. They were all released onto the farm, and all of the ducks that had been living there came out to meet the new ducks. All except Ugly Duckling, who stayed in her room, sure that the new ducks would be just as mean as the old ones. The guy ducks came out to try and pick up girl ducks, and the more they got, the bigger their egos swelled. The girl ducks did the same, but a few were shot down in flames. They had tried hitting on one certain duck, and although polite, he rejected their advances. Being as conceited as they were, they just figured he didn't know what was good, so they moved onto the other guy ducks. Truth be told, this duck just wasn't into the ladies.
He decided instead to take a tour around the farm. He walked around, making note of how lovely the different areas were. Soon enough, he came walking toward Ugly Duckling's hen house. UD looked up to see what stranger could possibly be coming to meet her, and did she ever get a surprise when she saw what she saw! There was a duck proudly walking with an exaggerated waddle and wings held out, but gone limp. But most shocking of all - he was PINK!
Ugly Duckling wasn't sure what to make of this very different (but very beautifully colored she thought) duck. She thought that maybe he had gotten lost, so she got over her shyness and called out, "Hello, do you know where you are?". He came closer and said, "Yes, darling, I think I can back get back to where I'm supposed to be. I was just taking a tour of this marvelous place!" He was right outside UD's hen house at this point, and she admitted, "Well, not many ducks seem to come back here. Would you like to come in and rest a little bit?" she asked, finding courage to get to know this colorful stranger.
The pink duck came inside, took a look around, and exclaimed, "My, what wonderful interior decorating! These rugs, what lovely knitted designs! How exquisite! The use of grass and straw combined together in this way is the work of a genius with a keen eye!" Ugly Duckling had only ever been made fun of before in her life, so she was surprised to hear such sincere and enthusiastic praise. "Well, yes, I do have a lot of time on my hands - er, wings - to gather straw, grass, and flowers and arrange them around here," she said. "Well, it's simply beautiful," complimented the pink duck. There was a pause, and UD was brave enough to ask, "If you don't mind saying so, how did you get your wings that color? I mean, it's such a great shade, and I've never really seen any duck that was anything besides white, or yellow, or my awful brown, or black...you know what I mean, don't you?" She hoped she hadn't asked anything too personal (since the other ducks asked where her brown had come from, and was it possible that he could've been born pink?), but he answered, "There was a barn where I used to live that was being painted pink. When the paint was wet, I simply decided to just had to be that color, so I rubbed up against it, and voila - pink I am! Of course, they had to repaint it all over again. That could've been the reason that they were so eager to ship us off to here, me and my mischief costing them cans of paint, hee hee!"
Ugly Duckling laughed, and continued to talk to Pink (as she dubbed him). "Wow, usually I'm alone back here in this hen house; I certainly didn't think I'd ever get any visitors," she said. "Why's that, dear?" asked Pink. UD told him about all the troubles she had at the farm being an "Ugly Duckling", which he nodded his head to, as he had been misunderstood in the past, too. "Dear, you've got a wonderful heart, but if you want to, I think I could help you be a bit more of a swan. All it really takes is proper nutrition, good exercise, and a unique sense of style, which you certainly have," he said. That would be good, said UD, but she told him about the others giving her problems during feed time and swimming at the pond. "Hmmm," said Pink, "I think I know what I could do about that!" he said with a wink.
When it came time for supper, UD and Pink went down to the feeding area. Like usual, many ducks gave UD dirty looks and purposely crowded in front of her. That was the cue to Pink, who said to one of the crowders, "Excuse me, Sir, would you like to eat this feed together, you know, a date between just you 'n' me," elbowing him softly. "Uh, t-thanks but no thanks" said the duck, he and a few other ducks taking a few steps back. Ugly Duckling's jaw dropped into a smile at Pink, and she jumped in place, getting a good meal for once.
The next day, she and Pink went down to the pond. A few guy ducks were looking at UD, sneering and whispering to each other. Pink knew exactly what to do. He waddled up to the guy on the end, laid his pink wing onto his, and said, "Hello, honey!" with a smile on his face. The duck jumped away and nervously said, "Uh, yeah, hi to you, too...listen, we were just going for a walk, me and the guys, so I'll see ya later...MUCH later probably..." "Okay then, I'll miss ya," said Pink, blowing him a kiss. The other duck gave a quick smile, and he and the other ducks got away as fast as they could. When they were out of sight, Pink and UD laughed their tail feathers off. She thanked him, and they had a nice day swimming, which was good exercise for them both.
It wasn't long before the word got around about Pink and his "preferences". When guys saw him coming, they cleared out a bit, giving him space. Girls didn't have much of an interest in him, since they only looked for boyfriends. Since UD was always with him, no one seemed to bother her when she went around. She could do what she pleased, and as Pink had promised, she was getting proper nutrition at the duck feeding times, and good exercise at the pond. By next springtime, she had grown into an adult duck, and she had changed. Gone was the odd-shaped beak; it had grown straighter (unlike Pink). Gone were the ragged feathers, they grew in smooth with shine as UD's health had improved. Gone was her brown shade, she had become pure white. Ducks started to check her out, which she enjoyed, but nothing came of it since she remembered how they used to treat her. However, it was time for UD to find a man. Yes, she had Pink, but she wanted a man to date, settle down, and lay eggs with. Pink was in the market too, and they made jokes about how someday they could share the same duck as a boyfriend. Little did they know...
One day, a car drove up to the farm. The farmer came up to talk with the gentleman who got out, which was a Scotsman wearing a kilt. "What can I do for you?" asked the farmer. "Ya got any sheep, laddie?" he asked. "Sure, we do," said the farmer, leading the Scotsman out back to the sheep pen. He selected one, and said, rubbing his hands together and grinning, "Aye, I've been waitin' for years to get me hands on one of these!" The farmer got a little worried, and asked, "What exactly are you planning to DO with this sheep?" "Aye, 'tis a sheep good for shearing and gettin' the wool!" spoke the Scotsman. The farmer breathed a sigh of relief, but the Scotsman added, "Wool for spinnin' into lingerie for me wife!" Oh well, thought the farmer, at least that isn't illegal.
The Scotsman loaded the sheep into his vehicle, but thought of something else. "Eh, laddie, do ye think ye can help with a situation I've got on me hands? I've got me a duck, he's a bit lonely, but let's just say his hen house door swings both ways. Do ye maybe have a lassie duck and a laddie duck that can satisfy all his cravings?" The farmer was all too knowing about the goings-on between UD and Pink, so he said, "Yes, I do think I have just the ducks for that."
UD and Pink were brought to this new farm, and they met this new duck. He complemented them both, and everyone took a liking to each other. This duck threesome went on happily, and a lot of laying went on (including eggs!)
THE END