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Jokes

Here's some jokes and stuff, I'll keep updating as I go along.

Here are some joke pages. (Yes, I know some are listed on the front page.)

Click here to see my XXX page! My theory on procrastination. Click here to read about how I saw the light. Read my "coming-out-of-the-closet" story! A page with funny internet bumper stickers. See a woman giving a man WOOD!

Funny things to say 1. Sex on TV is bad; you might fall off! 2. To make an egg roll, push it. 3. Don't worry about being right wing or left wing if you're not a bird. 4. I have to admit, I was born at a very young age. 5. I'm all for religious freedom, but too many egotists think they're a god. 6. I'm a weight watcher; I watch everyone's weight go up! 7. Doesn't your mother get the irony in calling you an SOB? 8. Priests go shopping when stores' window signs say all boys' pants are half off. 9. Nudist camp fees are only a third of what you'd pay for clothes otherwise. 10. Optimists see incest as sleeping with someone you know well.

Jokes to tell

1. Little Johnny's parents are told by their family therapist to let their son choose his punishment next time he misbehaves. A few weeks later, his mother is cleaning his room and finds S&M mags under his bed. She screams for him to come in, and yells at him to tell her what he thinks he deserves for such an offense. Little Johnny slyly smiles and says, "I think I'm in need of a good whipping and spanking." 2. A couple's home catches fire, and nothing major is destroyed, nor are they seriously hurt. The only problem is that part of the wife's face is burnt, and she'll need to have surgery to fix it. After she goes into the hospital, has the operation, and wakes up, she is told some odd news. Her husband had donated skin to replace it, and the skin was from his buttocks. When he comes in to visit her, she questions him about it, and he replies, "Well, I wanted to enjoy watching your mother kiss your cheek from now on!" 3. A man comes home from work and sees his girlfriend outside with suitcases. He asks what she's doing, and she tells him she's moving out. "Why are you leaving me?!" he asks, and she responds, "I've heard rumors that you're a pedophile". Of course, the man is shocked and says "Those are very strong words - especially for a 10 year old!"