MARIA

She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee; her dress has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to mass and  whistles on the stairs
And underneath her wimple she has curlers in her hair
I've even heard her singing in the abbey

She's always late for chapel
But her penitence is real
She's always late for everything!
Except for every meal
I hate to have to say it, but I very firmly feel
Maria's not an asset to the abbey

I'd like to say a word in her behalf
Then say it Sister Margaretta
Maria makes me laugh!

How do you solve a problem like Maria
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down
How do you find the word that means Maria
A flibbertigibbet
A will-o'-the-wisp
A clown
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand
How do you solve a problem like Maria
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand

When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused,
and I never know exactly where I am...
Unpredictable as weather
She is flightly as a feather
She's a darling
She's a demon
She's a lamb

She'd out pester any pest; drive a hornet from it's nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle; she is wild
She's a riddle; she's a child
She's a headache
She's an angel
She's a girl...

How do you solve a problem like Maria
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down
How do you find the word that means Maria
A flibbertigibbet
A will-o'-the-wisp
A clown
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand
Oh how do you solve a problem like Maria...
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand