[10-31-00] The Halloween update! Ah, yes. Despite being smack dab in the middle of the work/school week, Halloween still managed to be quite the enjoyable evening. It all began for me at work. Got to wear my bitchin' rock star costume and hand out candy to little kids. When there was a lull in the action, I ventured out into the mall (I work at the mall, but not at one of those cheesy places; it's a camera store) anyway, I went out into the mall to scope out what the other stores were handing out. So there I was, in the middle of a successful trick-or-treat session in the mall, when a security guard comes up to me and asks how old I am.
"I'm fourteen, sir," said I, if one can concieve of a six foot tall fourteen year old. The security guard could not, and I was issued a cease and desist on the spot. He went on to explain that it was for the kiddies, and other reasons I didn't deserve to be there. Nevertheless, I was still on the clock over at work, and I did make my way to over three quarters of the mall before my tyranny was put to an end. That's right...I spit right in the face of your rules and laws, Grossmont Center.
Oh, the story doesn't end there, kids. The WOV photographers were on the scene later that night and documented the evening, for a photo play which shall appear on this page in the very near future!
And if that isn't cake enough for ya, I may have recruited two new writers for the ol' WOV. Identities and content of contributions is still in negotiation, and details are very preliminary, but let me tell you this; any one who dresses up as Jesus for Halloween has got some serious style and/or emotional problems...the only two prerequisites to work here!
{10-30-00] He's the best, he's the beautiful, he's the only...MIKEY! He's back!
[10-29-00] I've recommended this site in the past, but it's been changed quite a bit. I'd like to give you the direct link to the site, but I think that would be cheating. Anyway, on a day you have about an hour or two to kill online go to hell.com. It's a little confusing at first, but play along and get to the part where you sign up on the guestlist. Do that, and you'll be sent the link to the guts of the site via your e-mail. Trust me, it is well worth while, and nothing quite like you've ever seen. Excelsior!
Plus, more from Vomit God and Raphael coming very, very soon! Don't touch that browser!
[10-27-00] Yes, the rumors are true! No, Van Halen isn't getting back together, it's Drunken Dwarf's Splendiferous First Article! Oh joy! Oh rapture! Oh look, a link!
There has been a lot of reaction to Vomit God's Top 50 Rock-n-Roll Albums of All Time list. Some who constantly pester me to put up the next installments (and yes, I do know what the number one album is, and you don't), some who indirectly retort to the opinions expressed therin, and those who start trouble on certain message boards.. I for one, love it. My little staff of writers offend you so I don't have to. They're an opinionated bunch of cranky miscreants, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
JOIN US.
Hey, somebody make me a link button or a banner. I've been meaning to do it, but you know... Not that a linking graphic for this site is in high deamand here on the net, but hey. I think it would be cool to have. So all you artistic (or autistic) people out there, get out those crayons! Fire up those glue guns! Cut that construction paper, and MAKE VOCEPHUS A BANNER! Yeah!
[10-23-00] Yeeeah, baby!! The next installment of Vomit God's Top 50 Albums list is up and ready for your viewing pleasure.
Ya know, it's not easy running a regularly updated popular website...or so I've read. It's hard to keep up, what with all the competition on the web these days. It seems no matter how good of a site you have, there's always someone that's doing it better. There's just too much good stuff out there.
~~I was in the middle of writing that last piece there, when I realized I probably lost most of my readers to that last link. You'll probably never read this far. Then again, was it really worth it? No---I didn't think so either. This is what you want, this is what you get.
And to think...all the answers were on a Geocities page the whole time! (slaps forehead.)
[10-18-00] There's some new blood that's been added to the staff here at the WOV. You'll come to know him as Drunken Dwarf, and he'll be sharing various chatroom exploits with us in the days and weeks to come. And guess what? I'm even featured in the first installment! Look for that coming up this weekend. Excelsior!
[10-17-00] Mike's new article is up, and true to form, he's taking out more aggression on various pop culture institutions. And before you ask, yes I've seen Kinjite, and no, I don't recommend you watch it. Oh, and once, my band played at a show P.O.D. was supposed to play at, but they didn't show up. So I guess you could say I have 'connections' in the music industry...in a very round-about way...actually, not at all.
Yes, I still have all of Mike's past submissions saved, as well as Raphael's and others. Once I have a few more, i'll create their own little respective index pages, so you can access all the past glory and wit over and over again.
Learning your ABC's was never so much fun!!
[10-16-00] I'm Luke Skywalker, who the hell are you?
So there I was, cruising my own page (yes, I'm that vain), and I happen to stumble into the ol' Message Board. I needed a good laugh. And I'll be damned if I didn't see a whole slew of new entries, all for little old me! I feel so loved...so cared about...so...oddly hungry all of a sudden. Never would I have thought that I'd be linked by the cooler-than-ALF-stuck-in-the-freezer Jixby Phillips! Talk about killer-diller. While we're doing shoul outs and such, I should mention that the loveably dangerous Mr. Humphrey has also given me E-Props.
Yes Shelly, you are indeed one of the Faithful Four readers of the Grand Ol' WOV! The few...the ashamed...the VOCEPHITES, as Mikey coined it, I believe. So, counting you, myself, and mom and dad....yep, that's four! Thanks for your patronage!
Also, before you leave to fill your hard drive up with Tori Amos MP3's and pics of girls putting various objects in their orfaces, check out Raphael's newest story!!
I'm really glad this guy's website is still up...after all, it is the heck better than mine.
[10-12-00] Here's an update for update's sake. It's been awhile, I know it. My Faithful Four readers deserve better than that! The good news is that Vomit God's next installment of The 50 Greatest Rock-n-Roll Albums is up for your viewing pleasure. Just in time for Chirstmas! And yet another installment of the MIke Files is ready to read as well...and goddamn...he's pissed! Read with caution. On the subject of Mike, I have it on good authority he may be taking yet another trip across this great nation of ours for more fun and exitement! It's all very preliminary, but rest assured THE WORLD OF VOCEPHUS will bring you up-to-date coverage should Mike take another field trip. Viva!
[10-3-00] Yeah, I know. I haven't been updating the World Wide Weird section as often as I should. It seems nowadays, all the kooky sites I find end up linked in the text on the main page here. And as promised a long time ago, there is a time travel page half completed, although I have doubts if it will ever glow on your monitors. We shall see. As for links, they've been in short supply lately. So for old times sake, I went ahead and pinched a few for your hungry, naked eye-balls. Excelsior!
Semenex ~ 1st International Bizarre MPEG Film Festival ~ Weird Band Names ~ Kill Your TV ~ Gothic Role Models ~ Jesus Diet ~ Penis-Envy.com ~ Buy A Cow Pie ~ ...and one old favorite, Horse Balls!
[10-2-00] Hey kids, Vomit God's list of the Top 50 Rock-n-Roll albums of all time is up! Go and look at it, it's very discolicious, and 100% Beatle Free! A tasty new treat from Raphael is also now available for viewing. Also; you know him, you love him, and now you can hear what wisdom and wit he has to impart...go and read Mike's column right now!
I'm lonely, and don't have any friends. Real Doll, can you help me?