|HEY, YOU! DON'T WATCH THAT, WATCH THIS!!|
|...wanna make lots of money?|
|...wanna get chicks?|
|...wanna drive the car of your dreams?|
|Well, friend, you should consider writing for The New Yorker! And after they promptly turn you away, shattering your hopes and dreams, consider writing for the WORLD OF VOCEPHUS instead! Vocephus is always seeking enthusiastic young writers with imagination, and more importantly, lots of free time. If you, or anyone you know can write in complete sentences, with proper subject-predicate form, then Vocephus wants you! Contact via electronic correspondence at Vocephus@hotmail.com, or drop a line on the message board.
Also, don't worry if you think your piece is boring, unfunny, or crappy in any way. It's okay. Vocephus reserves the right not to post any submissions that totally blow. Write on!
NOTICE: Eskimos need not apply.