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In the eighties, crack cocaine was the drug of the decade. It seems as though when 1989 came around, all those yuppies seemed to disappear. Well, I know where they are now: Rancho San Diego! This is a weird fucking place, the ONLY place I know in the world where moms and dads smoke out with their kids! I first began to realize that this is a fucked up place several years ago when I was walking to school. In an open field on the way, I observed a middle age guy in fitness gear and large headphones bent over something. He looked my way and gave me the "come here" sign. He pointed to this weird ass bug on the ground, and in his best Scottish accent, said "Ye ever seen a butterfly like that, son? It's not a butterfly, it's a jet plane!" AHHH!!! That only began to fuel my suspisions that there were survivors of the cracked out yuppie eighties living here. Just one week later, I was in my friend's car coming home at 90 mph in my neighborhood, when he came close to hitting this kid! The father saw, make a crack-fueled attempt to stop the car by flinging himself on to it, and we promply sped away, only to observe Dad getting into his suburban. We got away. Sound normal? Nope. If you had seen what I saw, then you would have concluded "crack" also. This whole area is strange, too. I have a theory that there's some kind of ritualistic drug orgy that goes on in the forest by my house. I've found hidden stashes and wild "shrooms" growing there to support my theory. There was even a drug murder that happened in my "safe" neighborhood! I'm also going back to Grossmont next semester, because I'm sick of all the crack babies that grew up to come to Cuyamaca! I went there so I could walk, but now I drive, due to an incident involving a screaming fillipino lady and a partially deaf old man named Yosef. Even driving is strange. Today all these pedestrians were looking at me like they had never seen a car before, and when I got out of my car, this woman asked me, "Habla Espanol?". I said "No" and she proceeded to talk to me in Spanish, anyway. Yep, move over East LA, Rancho San Diego is about to take your crack crown. God help us all. |
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