Hello Friends, Vomit God here. Since I don't really give a shit about my own site anymore, I've decided to horn in on Vocephus's and write an article. I've decided to be his music list man, and what better way to begin this process then THE TOP 50 ALBUMS OF ALL TIME. It's about time someone who hates the fucking Beatles made a list. I hate it when you are waiting and waiting for the #1 album, and... surprise! It's Sgt. Pooper's Lawdry Shits Flub Bland! Fuck that album! Well, I guarantee that this list is BEATLE FREE!!! And if you don't like it, go complain to Elenor Rigby, and leave the GOOD music alone! Anyway, here's the first installment of THE TOP 50 ALBUMS OF ALL TIME (ACCORDING TO SOMEONE WHO LIKES GOOD MUSIC!!!)
50) R.E.M. - MURMUR (1983) I'm starting with a few guilty pleasures, here. There's no denying that this album is good. With songs like "Talk About The Passion" and "Laughing", Murmur ranks as one of the best kickback albums of all time. I love the jingly-jangly guitar most of all. It's kind of like what the Byrds would be like if they didn't take so many drugs. This album will put you to sleep, but in a relaxing way, not in a boring way.
49) XTC - APPLE VENUS VOLUME ONE (1999) I'm not as macho as I come across. It takes a lot to make me cry, but this album begins to jerk on the old tear ducts, not to mention the heart strings. This is the first thing XTC released in seven years, and they speak of the turmoil of leaving their record label, Andy Partridge's divorce from his wife, and their illnesses plaguing them, all on this record. It's a very experimental record, too, a mix of acoustic pop and orchestral arrangements. Try "I Can't Own Her" for a great love ballad, or "Frivolous Tonight" for a great easy listening tune.
48) JOY DIVISION - UNKNOWN PLEASURES (1979) This is the album you listen to as you drift off to that big rock stadium in the sky after swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills. Every song is a suicide note, and indeed, Ian Curtis hung himself a year after this was released. Was he depressed? Well, duh. Just listen to "Disorder" or "Interzone" for tunes that make Kurt Cobain look like Pat Boone. I like this album for the cool bass lines most of all. A dark, depressing delight.
47) THE UNDERTONES - S/T (1979) Imagine if the Monkees and the Ramones were put into a blender and you have The Undertones. There's no denying that this album would rank near the top of catchiest albums of all time. Just one spin of "Jimmy Jimmy" will leave you with an incurable case of "Catchyitis". The vocals are very leprechaun-like, too. Make sure you brush your teeth after chewing this bubblegum.
46) THE JAM - IN THE CITY (1977) I hate most mods, but The Jam were different. They knew how to rock and roll! They weren't stuck up like most mods either. Their songs were aimed at everyone, and not just "the kids." This album carries great tunes with important social messages like "Bricks and Mortar" and "Away From the Numbers." They maintain a tie to their mod roots while mixing in rock'n'roll energy. It's great.
45) PUBLIC IMAGE LIMITED - SECOND EDITION (1979) Kind of like a warped disco album, SECOND EDITION is truly bizarre. John Lydon maintains his "fuck everything" attitude from the Sex Pistols, but writes more intelligent lyrics, attacking sex, and corporate bullshit. "Albatross" is a truly bizzare dance tune, and so is "Swan Lake."
44) THE DAMNED - MACHINE GUN ETIQUETTE (1979) Someone get some water, 'cause this record burns. This record is one half rock'n'roll and one half new wave, but the Damned maintain their sarcastic, knowingly dumb attitudes, which I love. One minute there's the rockers "Love Song" and "Noise Noise Noise," and the next there's pseudo goth songs like "Plan 9, Channel 7." It's a crossover record to their gothic 80's, and it damn well rocks. Keep out of hearing range of gerbils.
43) THE BUZZCOCKS - SINGLES GOING STEADY (1979) Or as I know it "Everything You Need To Know About The Buzzcocks, But Were Afraid To Ask." Ah, The Buzzcocks. My junior high pals and I would giggle at "Orgasm Addict", and I still enjoy a good laugh or two at that tune. This compilation is so...teenage that it's like a fountain of youth every time I pop it on. It will keep me eternally young.
42) DAVID BOWIE - HUNKY DORY (1972) Rather than a rock opera, this is more like a rock broadway production! I can almost picture Bowie with a top hat and cane during "Kooks". "Queen Bitch" is one of the greatest rockers of all time. No one can make rock'n'roll like Bowie. He even makes art cool, especially during "Andy Warhol."
41) WALL OF VOODOO - DARK CONTINENT (1981) This is the soundtrack Ennrico Morrone never released, probably because it was too dark and weird! But, hell, those are two things I like, so that guarantees this a spot on my list! Variating between salsa, western twang guitar, and horror movie music, DARK CONTINENT will make you dance, scratch your head, or both! Stan Ridgeway has a cool voice, too. Try "Call Box" or "Tse Tse Fly."
Vomit God's List -- 40-31
BACK TO WORLD OF VOCEPHUS Until next time, kill a Beatle.
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