|One expects the zombies to be spotted in Haiti, for this is their homeland. The level of evil sorcery that exists in this poor land is a very common thing and during my anthropological studies there in 1992, I fought the zombies on a daily basis . But to find it here, in this wonderful state, framed by farmland, streams and mountains, was an abomination. It caught me off guard because Pennsylvania is where I go to relax and vacation and get away from the horrific task of zombie research.
On a recent evening hike near Spring Valley Park, I witnessed two human forms huddled over the carcass of a whitetailed deer. Being the deer season, I assumed that they were field dressing their kill. On closer inspection, I noticed two peculiarities that didn't fit the scene. One of the "hunters" was missing his right arm and a large gaping wound was clearly visible on the back of his skull. As I approached, I asked the man if he was alright but he failed to answer. The other man looked up and I could clearly see that his face was rotting away. The bones in his jaw were exposed and I coulld smell the distict odor of rotting human flesh. In his mouth was the cerebral cortex of the deer. That was all the information I needed to realize that they were zombies.(If a Zombie has the choice between animal and human brains, he'll pick the human every time.) Knowing that I didn't have much daylight left, I ran to the Jeep, notified the authorities ( who thought I had been drinking) and drove to the nearest , well lit, public place. Some locals told me earlier that afternoon that they saw some strange things out in the woods, Dark figures, animal sacrafice, corpses and candles but they had been drinking so I didn't think much of it. With all my years of voodoo expertise, I would have never hypothesised that a Zombie Cult would set up shop here.