Oh, that Matt, he sucks.

 Reasons To Hate Matt     Vol. 1

  Vol. 2   Vol. 3

The following is a growing list of reasons to hate Matt. It expands more with every submission I get. So if you want to make it the biggest list in the world (we can do it!), then send in some reasons, champo.

Reasons 1-15 are submitted by Me, Volcomstalker.
    1.His hair is always stupid
    2.He uses big words
    3.He spends too much time in Nambour
    4.He annoys everyone at IGA
    5.He thought Mr Magoo was funny
    6.He has horrid skin. His face is 23% grease
    7.He consistently scratches his balls and 'taint' area
    8.He's very unnatractive
    9.He talks bullshit, non-stop, all day
    10.He eats too much curry
    11.He smells really, really bad
    12.He has poor personal hygiene
    13.He eats the weirdest shit
    14.He always makes obscure jokes that people have no chances of getting
    15.He drinks tea
    16.He sux @ badminton!! :p - JAz
    17.He has Queer Friends - Mentos®
    18.He Is The Lord - Todie onda X
    19.He torments teachers - UnKnOWn
    20.He has bucked teeth, wait.. that's me, Oh shit - Smitty
    21.He's a greasy haired queer git - person
    22.he has more nipple hair than me - bazz
    23.He's just plain ugly. The sight of him makes me vomit - nobody
    24.Just look at him, damn - Jiminy Cricket
    25.Cos he doesn't do me hard enough. - Eddie Welsh
    26.He looks hell werid when he's straight! - WHo caREs!
    27.He has an ospicious eye for detail - seriious
    28.hes a nest - geoff armstrong
    29.hes fat - geoff armstrong
    30.he gives bad head - geoff armstrong
    31.Cause he stole schroter from me! Cause he wouldn't give me head - Milfy
    32.I think matthew is a real intellectual he just needs to make that special effort - Rudd
    33.One whiff of his shirt sends a hard
    man a-weeping. - seriious
    34.His fat and walks like a women - Sconehead
    35.He has these really weird hairy blotches on his arse (even ask Bill) - Steve
    36.He is the biggest fattest mother fucker, and he is gay and has a small dick and is the dumbest fuck in all of nambour - waynual
    37.He has the wit of an oaf and the charm of Mr. vadge's sock after a hard day fox-trotting. - Mrs Vadge
    37.Matt collects his own stool - Mr Mushroom
    38.All you are liars, no one can hate matt. I love him, I always had, even during my relationship with Mieka. - Eddie
    39.there are sooooo many i dont know where to start; he speeds, his brother is an ass hole, i hate him!
    40.He dissed my sperm. Yowah! - Farty McBrewster
    41.hes a dickhead. - chrissy+lisa
    42.Matt has a homosexually orientated mind, but he's a king still! - Morgs
    43.No reason but who actually needs one, it's matt. To the fools who say Matt ain't bad, shame on you. Death by anal rape to you all. - Existenze
    44.No reason - Morgs
    45.The laugh of a sissy.. - 'less bright champoins'
    46.He beat me in English. - Sammy Snail
    47.Matt is a fucking cock head wanker tits cock face ball testicle wart that farts cum all day loong!!!! - Fuck off
    48.his a devo - kimberley
    49.becuase he likes mornay sauce and we all know what that looks like - kimberley
    50.cuz he spits and dont swallow - Mr Mutha Fucka
    51.I dont hate matt, he knows how to stroke my cock and balls, and he like to watch me stroke my cock and balls all day long. nothing but cock and balls - cock and balls
    52.He once hid two little bald men in his bra and tricked me into sucking them like tits. - Shasta McNasty
    53.He is a way better dabber than me. - Rudd
    54.He eats way to much Stagg Chilli. - Ed Die
    55.The only cereal he has in his house is coco pops. - Ed Die
    56.He has cigars that he doesn't even smoke. - Ed Die
    57.He went into the toilet with Brian and when they came out Brian washed his hands. - Ed Die
    58.cos he wont give me head - Someone else
    59.He's gay fart with a fat arse - i love matt club creator
    60.hes ugly - number 52
    61.he hangs out at the library - number 53
    62.its christmas time - number 54
    63.Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls,Cock and Balls, Cccccooooooccccckkkkkkk aaaaaannnnnnndddddd Bbbbbaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllssssssssss - Cock and Balls
    64.The dumb shit slept until 2:00pm and then refused to cook my lunch due to a lack of cream. Even after I'd assured Eddie Welsh that he was going to. What a horrible little cunt. Let's all hate him. - Burger Strongman
    65.Cause he is my brother, but i really don't hate him, he is just smarter than i am and it shits me! - Veronica
    66.he drives that shitty little datto which is all stained from copious amounts of animal love with penguins - gerald v
    67.He has never once been on our show, Entertainment Tonight. - Bob Goen
    68.Isn't it fucking obvious? - Mr. Fuck Features
    69.cause i can - Veronica
    70.he doesn't like to swallow when i spoof on his face, he prefers to put it in his curries and use it as a spicy sauce!
    - mr dick face

    71.Umm....he is a bastard? - Pleasure Bird
    72.Look, I don't know what you people have against this beautiful specimen. Look at him, that stupid hair, those bouncing bosoms, he beautiful! I mean, if he was a crocodile, I'd have him in a second. Tune in next week kids to see me, STEVE IRWIN, try to stick my thumb up Matt's arse. You don't want to miss it! Things take a turn for the worst when he actually enjoys it and I have to pry him off me using Terri! CRIKEY! - Steve Irwin
    73.He tends to blabber shit about nothing for hours on end! - Matt Himself
    74.Who the hell is matt..he must be a fuckface to have a website devoted to him sucking - Pat
    75.I need only one reason to hate Matt. Fart! Phleeeeeeepock wibblecun ted farkyew purple. Frrrrrat!!!! Question? - Bark Sensible
    76.he smells like cow crap - mitchell
    77.cos he didn't put me on his site. and he said that i couldn't sing, and that i should hold shannon's breasts to be entertaining at the talent quest - sharn
    78.Matt is less than correct when he calls me a plant! Grrrrr. - Terrance the Shrub
    79.He has an inferior nipple - Perty Berty
    80.My reasons are my own - God
    81.I can't think of a better reason than the fact that so many other people seem to hate him. I am a sheep, pressured by my peers. - Sorry the Sandwich
    82.Matt ate the hat that I left where the cat shat. Seuss! - Theodor Geisel III
    83.He can only count up to 81 and then he starts going backwards, skipping the number 80 each time. - Pi Thagrius
    84.He has trouble getting erections over female porn -
    85.Matt fucked my favourite sow and left me with "sloppy seconds"! - Henrii Pigfucker
    86.He spits all the time. A filthy habit. - Gulp N'Swallow
    87.Why does Jesus let mothers murder their children in these monstorous clincs? And McDonalds is even worse! - Birth Severed
    88.He's a dickhead. As if I needed a reason anyway? - Smugg Wankerr
    89.His disregard for my patience is becoming quite frustrating. - Lord O' Fuck
    90.You're a cunt - Cunt
    91.Hii, my name is Sandra... I think this Matt guy sounds.. kinda... fun, i would loovveee to meet him, maybe even in the bedroom.... get back to me Matt... on 1800 Sandys Love Nest (www.hotsandy.com) ! - Sexy Sandra
    92.Legend - Morgs
    93.I have a migraine. - Mrs. Burkt
    94.Because he loves Kincaid, not me - Chez
    95.He drives at Datsun 120Y!! - Ssor Retalp
    96.He has some sort of discusting growth near his testicles! I think he calls it a penis!! - Ssor Retalp
    97.I've always thought so. - Esther M'Lestor
    98.I just don't think this is funny anymore - Boring
    99.because i love him - seriious
    100.He hurt me in a way jaded lovers usually do. - Mrs. Vadge

"- whoever" means that that kid sent it in. Just thought I might clarify that for the 'less bright' champions.

Hmm, quite the list. Some very cool kids have tried to be funny, and some have failed and some have done quite well. Either way, now you can contribute to the growing list of reasons to hate Matt, simply by filling out the boxes below.

What's your name?

What's your reason to hate Matt?
(Feel free to leave more than one)