| October 30, 2003 Reminiscing about college, girls --I’m just churning out the random thoughts today ain’t I? Anyways, this particular thought came to me yesterday while I was on the campus of George Mason University visiting a friend. It wasn’t until we were walking around campus and came to the big “student center” full of stores, food places, bank, etc. that this thougth hit me. The place was packed full of college students. And suffice to say, it was packed full of girls too. It’s been awhile since I’ve been on a real college campus (almost 2 years to this day....sigh....that was a nice last day with Kaci though...). Anyways, I forgot how it felt. Firstly, and I’m not proud to admit this for certain reasons, I couldn’t help but notice how many hot chicks were just walking around. It seemed everywhere I turned a hot girl walked by in her fashionable attire. I forgot this is how it is on large university campuses like everyday, all day. Despite my coolness and collection of BMW’s, I don’t seem to be much of a catch around women (maybe it's because they expect me to move...wouldn't that be an eye-opener). I think I’ve hung out with girls, not related to me, like three times in the past 3 months, and I can’t even remember what the other two were for. I’m not insecure about that, and I will never “try” to eliminate that by insecurely socializing, but I’m only human and only a man. Female company, even if passing by on the way to class, makes me feel good inside. I miss college a lot because of the plethora of females within close proximity. Why I mentioned being ashamed earlier about seeing so many girls relates a little to a couple articles I’ve written lately about how lustful we males are. Because just by walking around Mason’s campus for a couple minutes, my mind was on the Southbound Highway a lot of that time and I had the -30° Tilt going on half that time (If you’re not aware of the -30° Tilt {negative 30 degree tilt} it’s probably because your either a girl or a male under about 5’8” tall. Anyways, it refers to my eyes being tilted -30° below flat eye level as I’m walking around looking at girls passing by. Let’s just say -15° would have me looking at their faces....going another 15° down would have me staring at their....I think you get the point. Just another machine we men employ to satisfy our destructive behavior.) I came to realize my mental capacities have not gotten better since I left college, they’ve gotten worse. I think I was much more naive in college (thank the dear Lord). I didn’t have as much problems as I do now. But going back to a college campus had all those thoughts rush back to me. Yesterday made me realize I miss college. I miss the atmosphere of being around a lot of kids my age. I miss being around so many girls (i’m not afraid to admit it). I miss having a school identity (well that could be debated because I don’t mind being “unaffiliated” with anything. Plus I won’t get any annoying alumni calls seeking money.) Sure I regret a lot of my days at Virginia Tech, but as much as I’d hate to admit it, I do desire here and there to return, if not just for the experience of being away and independent (I’m independent now of course...just tied down to more things being home). I don’t know what else to say really other than I know God had a plan for what happened to me. No semblance of a plan has been revealed to me yet, even after 2 years of leaving the place I spent 3.5 at, but I know my selfish timeline is inconsequential to God’s. I really have no desire to go back to college in the academic sense as I mention in my reflection I made a couple days ago on Random Thoughts 9, but I do miss the environment that surrounds you whilst there. The most difficult thing to deal with though is the simple phrase, “What if?”... |