Indiana Jones and the Garden of Eden
….coming soon to a theatre near you!
-How cool a movie would that be!? I mean talk about rad!!! Not only does it fit with the Indiana Jones “supernatural” quest/adventure theme, but the whole Garden of Eden thing hasn’t really been done before.
“Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he
had formed. And the LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground-trees that were
pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree
of the knowledge of good and evil.” -Genesis 2:8-9
Ever since I was a kid, one of my most ambitious archeological goals was to discover the Garden of Eden. Not only would it be one of, if not thee, most important archaeological finds in human history, if would empirically validate Judeo-Christian creationism claims. This would no doubt be one of the most exciting discoveries the world has seen and provide a direct link to something God had himself touched!
“A river watering the garden flowed from Eden; from there it was separated into four headwaters.
The name of the first is the Pishon; it winds through the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold.
(The gold of that land is good; aromatic resin and onyx are also there.) The name of the second river is
the Gihon; it winds through the entire land of Cush. The name of the third river is the Tigris; it runs
along the east side of Asshur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.” -Genesis 2:10-14
According to Jewish history (the Torah/Old Testament), the Garden of Eden was the hotbed of creation, housing the first humans as well as perfect accommodations. Though most pagan theistic creation accounts identify an area of their respective creation origins, the Hebrew God goes as far to give us directions! Right smack in between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers as well as two other unknown ancient rivers, the Pishon and Gihon, relegating the Garden to be somewhere in the vicinity of present day Iraq. This is significant because most pagan or other religious holy writings steer clear of unique particulars and details, especially geographical ones such as this, as to convey their specifics as ambiguous as possible preying on followers’ emotions instead of reasoning. As C.S. Lewis said, “If Christianity was something we were making up, of course we could make it easier. But it is not. We cannot compete, in simplicity, with people who are inventing religions. How could we? We are dealing with Fact. Of course anyone can be simple if he has no facts to bother about." Anyways, if the Jewish account of Earth and man history is indeed Fact as it claims to be, the actual Garden of Eden exists in an actual place on this Earth. How big, how wide, and what it exactly looks like are unknowns though. And some people even argue as to say it doesn’t exist anymore, eroded by time or something to that effect. Some even claim to say the Garden of Eden was merely a mythical setting described by Moses to convey the underlying message of creation to the early Hebrews. And some further pose that even if the Garden of Eden was an actual place, it didn’t have any distinct boundaries making it near impossible to identify it from the rest of the Middle East, at least without direct longitude and latitude coordinates. And unfortunately God didn’t leave us with any such markers. Drat. But there is hope I believe, and I will tell you why.
First off, I believe the Garden of Eden was a real place in time and history. Scientists date the emergence (sudden emergence I might add) of the first homo-sapien beings at about 25,000-60,000 B.C. (the “Out of Africa” theory, though a secular theory, surprisingly (or not), corresponds anthropologically and geologically with the Biblical creation account and creation of man). Though the Bible gives details as to where the Garden of Eden is on our planet, it only divulges regional hints. The description of the land of Cush (possibly southeast Mesopotamia, or Ethiopia) allows for a wide range of possible sites spanning the Middle East, northeast Africa, and even parts of Asia). So if anything, I believe that a couple tens of thousands of years ago an actual Garden of Eden existed. Whether it “eroded”, disappeared, or is at the bottom of the Persian Gulf I cannot be sure, though I believe it hasn’t and that it exists to this day, just waiting to be found by the next Indiana Jones……”Keith Wojciech and the search for the Garden of Eden”…..has a nice ring to it don’t it???
Ok, back to the book. Being that the Bible is the only superfluousancient (yet extremely accurate and verifiable) text to mention the Garden of Eden (read below about other ancient writings concerning a "garden paradise"-type place), it is wise to consult the source directly. Another note to mention based on that aforementioned comment; being that the Bible is the only ancient text to mention this specific Garden, and though this conclusion is fairly obvious based on my stance that the Garden does still exist, it’s logical to assume that no one has found or stumbled upon it since Adam and Eve’s banishment. Otherwise it’d be mentioned somewhere else by someone. Another possibility to consider is that some people have found it, and found it so intoxicatingly blissful, they never bothered to leave. This would assume they got past the guards (mentioned below), which is highly unlikely. If someone did find the Garden, they were most likely killed, and their discovery along with them.
Here are some of the reasons I believe the Garden of Eden still exists and can be found:
1) “So the LORD God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from
which he had been taken. After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the
Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way
to the tree of life.” –Genesis 3:23-24
After Adam and Eve effed up things pretty good, God kicked them out of the Garden. But if Adam and Eve were to never return or the possibility of anyone else coming to the divine Club Med, why post such an expensive sentry? It’s makes no sense for God to waste some cherubim (like those angels on top of the Ark of the Covenant...like in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark...come on, you know what I’m talking about) and one of his guardsmen. Now you could say he just put that flaming sword there flashing back and forth but doesn’t that sound a little silly? I think he posted an archangel guard, perhaps one of Michael’s men, to stand there. The angel prolly had a cloaking device of some sort so he was invisible, all Predator-like. But his sword was visible. So when any trespassers came he’d de-cloak and whuup some human butt, freaking them out in the process (Ok, how cool a scene would that be in the movie!?!?!)
My point in all this is that God is not in the business of wasting. Everything in creation has served a purpose; from quasars billions of light-years away to the smallest organisms’ bio-deposits, all things serve to prepare the universe for man’s existence and sustenance. For God to employ a bouncer for the Garden of Eden represents purpose to “bounce” any unwanted guests, so the Garden must’ve existed after Adam and Eve left. Also, why post a guard if there is not risk of being burglarized? God must’ve known access was possible by humans still, which makes sense if it was/is an actual geographical location.
2) “Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said,
"With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man." Later she gave birth to his brother
Abel.” -Genesis 4:
I can just imagine Cain daring his younger, impressionable brother Abel to walk up to the boundary of the “Garden”, just like as kids we dare eachother to go into that scary abandoned house or stand on the train tracks. Chances are, especially with their long life spans, mmamma and papa divulged many times to their offspring about the “good ol’ days” in the Garden, especially during those hot and sweaty days in the field. “Back when I was a kid, I didn’t even have to plant my food, it just sprouted out of the ground!” But with the stories of yesteryear probably came grave admonitions to never go into the “Forbidden Zone”. Haven’t you ever seen The Lion King though? I mean that’s what kids do, they go to the Forbidden Zone cause it’s cool to take risks in the unknown. I’m not saying Cain or Abel, or any other recent descendent actually went into the Garden, but I’m sure they knew where it was.
Now this is all dependent on the Adam and Eve being banished within close proximity of the Garden, which I think is the case. The Scripture tells us that God “drove out” man from the Garden. I get the picture of God hurrying up Adam and Eve out of the Garden and then slamming the door, leaving them on the doorstep, much like how we’d eject an unwanted guest from out homes. Discoveries in anthropology and archeology would corroborate this theory also, because of the earliest of civilizations originated from southeast Mesopotamia, right near where the Bible describes the Garden to be.
The point I’m trying to make here is that the Garden is probably within striking distance of a already established ancient archaeological site, or one waiting to be found. I don’t think the Garden is thousands or hundreds of miles in the middle of nowhere (as most people would assume). It might be far from modern cities and establishments, but probably not from ancient ones, which unfortunately may be under water...but I hope not! Heck I imagine Adam and Eve only settled miles away from the Garden, but in this case the suburbs of Eden were in worse condition than the urban center. Anyhow, I figure “follow the pottery”. Wherever we find the remnants of the most ancient cultures and civilizations in Mesopotamia, we’ll probably find the Garden nearby (but hidden....I’ll speculate on that later on).
3) What in the Bible can’t be found, theoretically?
Sure you got places like Heaven and Hell that can’t be found (mostly because they exist in separate, or more, dimensions then we currently exist in) but other than that, almost every “place” mentioned in the Bible can or already has been found (which boosts its authenticity factor, at least from a historical perspective).
It seems God didn’t mind leaving a paper trail concerning his account to the Hebrews, let alone all the New Testament. He had nothing to hide in terms of proving himself. Why should the Garden be any different? Sure it may be under hundreds of feet of water, but it’d still be there. We’ve found a lot of the ancient cities and geographical notables mentioned in the Bible so it seems logical to assume, if the Bible is correct, that the Garden is somewhere out there too, or remnants of it at least.
4) Though many people use it against the Hebrew creation account, other ancient “creation” accounts, mainly the Sumerian and Ubaidian ones, mention a similar “Eden” type paradise/Adam type being/Fall of Man type stuff. Most secularists claim this is proof the Hebrew account is merely a collection of other regional and secular myths and legends at the time, shrunk down a bit, and packaged as the history of the world by billions of Christians, Jews, and Muslims. This theory does correspond to the dates things were written down. Sumerian and Assyrian textual remnants come much earlier than Moses’ time, the author of Genesis, so it seems he could be guilty of plagiarizing a bit, relegating the whole Judeo-Christian thing as to a big fat lie. Or it’s possible the Sumerians, Ubaidians, etc. created their creation accounts based on actual occurrences as described in the Bible which were spiritually dictated to Moses at the time of his writing it! I mean he obviously wouldn’t remember it from experience, so God did have to help him out. Or did Moses just make it all up, borrowing from neighboring cultures’ legends, to gain power and sway over his uneducated, impressionable people? I guess we’ll all find out at deathtime.
How would you know if you found it you ask? Well for starters the entrance would, or east side, would have flaming sword bobbing about as well as some cherubim hanging around. That’d be the first clue. If you’re lucky enough to get in, and the Garden is still in its original state, as I theorize (why guard something that will rot or decay?), you’ll probably notice a few nice amenities. Also, one definitive feature would be the Tree of Life hanging out in the geographical middle of the Garden. Why God put it there who knows, but it’s probably still hanging out producing bad apples. Another point to consider is that the Garden does in fact have decipherable boundaries. The Genesis account does mention a “front”. My guess is a either a thick wall of vegetation be it dense trees or some serious hedge foliage, or I think the Garden maybe a “sunken” plane. Sort of like a big sinkhole. This would explain why from satellite photos we’d notice no change in topography. I reject the notion that it rests on a plataeu because from ground level, it’d stand out. A sunken valley of sorts would be indistinguishable from ground level seekers. You’d literally have to “fall” into it to find it. This would make from some good natural barriers and some very picturesque waterfalls though. I reckon it to J.R.R. Tolkien’s description of the hidden city of Gondolin from the Silmarillion, minus the city.
I also fully acknowledge that the Creation account, as described in the Bible, and the whole notion of a Garden of Eden could be pure balderdash. But so much of the Bible is uncannily accurate from a historical and anthropological level that it’s hard to believe there’d be such a gross bad apple in it. And though much scientific discovery in the 20th and 21st Century has increased credence for the Biblical creation, what it all comes down to is faith though. Not a blind faith mind you, but a reasonable faith. It all hinges on faith in the end.
Would I like to find the Garden of Eden? Sure I would, who wouldn’t? I do caution anyone that finds it. That angel, or flaming sword, ain’t taking no breaks, so if you if see a open flame with metal around it, I’d advise you to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. I don’t speak Angel, and I don’t know anyone that does, so bartering with him to get in probably won’t work. Maybe Hebrew would work :)
*Here’s another thing to think about:
“The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” -Genesis 2:15
-Does this mean God created Adam outside of the Garden and then put him in there physically? It sort of alludes to that possibility. But that would mean Adam had knowledge of life outside the Garden which would open up a big theological can a worms. Maybe God created Adam outside the Garden, but didn’t animate him till he was inside. Or maybe the verse is just indicating at God’s plan to make man and isn’t meant to be taken literally. Who knows...
***Here’s a good riddle:
Two archeologists are exploring ancient areas of Mesopotamia in present day Iraq. They come upon a dense area of foliage that’s below sea-level with very low levels of oxygen. Using breathing apparatuses, they venture deeper into the brush. Eventually they come upon a clearing with two well preserved dead bodies laying in it, a male and female. They assume they’ve been preserved because of the low-oxygen levels. Upon closer inspection the one archeologist exclaims, “Oh my God! It’s Adam and Eve!”
....how did he know?
