Evil HQ, 10:15pm: *The Presidency over the intercom*: Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.... I have discovered my new talent, oh evil minions. And in the past three years, what, may I ask, have YOU discovered? NOTHING!!!! Absobloodlyfuckinglutely NOTHING. Therefore, this proves that I am more talented than all of you. Yes, my darlings. This is my new found talent.
	Just thought it was time to add another one of my ramblings to keep you satisfied. What should we talk about today, folks? Drugs? Nah. Too educational. Smoking? Boring. People we hate? Maybe we need to narrow that down a bit… Lets see... Never mind. I have ditched (if I may say so) my normally functioning brain in favour of a coffee maker. I am at the height of my demonic rage, meaning that I have just placed myself in the most ridiculously precarious situation known to mankind. Actually, I am trying to convince myself that April Grapevine is a human being. There is no scientific evidence to show that she is a native of planet earth. Instead, I think she was sent here from one of the planets that haven`t been discovered yet. Blech. Damn those Smallville ads. Anyhow, the more I think about it, the more I begin to notice that, before the revelation of soppy pop artists who claim to be made of nothing other than hardcore rock, I never even knew people like them existed. Take Avril, for instance. Before Complicated made her famous, I thought the only people who lied and thought highly of themselves were high-school teachers. But, and much as I hate to admit this, I was wrong. People like Avril actually do exist, and I have no idea why. Which brings me back to the alien theory. If Avril is so perfect (in punk terms), then why do so many people despise her? Why do so many people feel the urge to throw something sharp and heavy at her every time her picture is on the front cover of a magazine? You do not know. I do not know. It is not because they are jealous. You would have to like her to be jealous of her in the first place. Why would you want to be like her if you hated her? The main reason for hate is because of hypocrisy, arrogance, and too much self-confidence. If we were jealous, that would indeed be because we wanted to be like her. But, if you can hate somebody that much, surely you would not like to be in that person`s shoes. But this still doesn`t prove my theory wrong. Anyhow, I am sure you all enjoyed reading that. It is Evil`s science fiction at its very best. Au revoir, my small-minded friends. I hope you all catch fire and burn to death. You see, that is how much I love you all. I am more considerate than you think. In fact, I even took the time and trouble to plan your deaths for you.
		Evil HQ, an hour later: As you may or may not know, the dark force behind the universe has decided to align itself with us, thus meaning that our mission to destroy the world will not end in vain. You see, aside from discovering the new talent in me, I have also managed to make an alliance with the most evil of evil forces. I have been multi-tasking. YOU, on the other hand, have been causing trouble. Oh, wait, I can do that too. You see, there is nothing in this universe that I can`t do. I may as well fire you all.
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