"The Root of All Evil wishes to seek advice from the mere mortals of planet earth. The Root of All Evil has a slight problem that The Root of All Evil wishes to discuss with those who are unconcerned with the fact that The Root of All Evil is trying to destroy the world."
She who shall not be named has requested that I write another rant for the enjoyment of she and the public. Aside from the fact that I do not know what to write about, I am slightly annoyed that I have been invited to a Christening ON MY BIRTHDAY. Who in their right minds would think that I, of all people, would like to spend the entirety of my date of birth in a CHURCH listening to some old man preaching about Jesus Christ?? (or whatever it is they do at Christenings)???
Everyone in this world is completely bonkers. You would all do well to know that. Nobody respects your views, and nobody really cares about the decisions you make (apart from your parents, but that's not for here).
Yeah, so…. Moving on. I wish to discuss with you the consequences of teenage suicide.
Only joking.
Actually, I don't really want to discuss anything. The matter of teenage suicide is closed.
I think now that I shall go and vegetate in front of a rectangular box.
Good day.
Evil Headquarters, 5:25 pm:
"The presidency wishes to speak with the mere mortals who have been queuing outside the top-secret HQ building since the problem was announced. Let all the unfortunate looking people in first (that includes you, transvestites). The good-looking ones can stand outside in the rain until further notice."