 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
My life is like a fairy tale. I was born in an enchanted parking lot. Cars were zooming by as I came squeeling out. When I turned one I got my first job as a pornstar in Mexico. I loved it alot. I could dance around all-day long and I made a thrifty penny(literally.) When I turned two I got a new job at BFI. I could not really lift garbage cans but the men really enjoyed my dancing. I turned three the next year and still had the same job. The boss of the plant named me best porno baby of the century. I was excited and started to dance by the dump truck. After an hour or so I was as drunk as a hermaphidite with six toes, twenty hoes, and a box of cherrios. I kept dancing all night long until some stupid honky stole PETEY, my only manly organ. I was very depressed. I lost my job and I couldn't dance any more. I had to pee out of my eye now it was very hard to hit the toilet. The next year I turned twenty. I had graduated college and had a wife named Jed. I was happy until the next year when I turned four. I lost my wife and my degree because I suddenely became to young. People are so stupid. I got over my wife and I could really care less about my degree. I got a new job as a welder and made a lot of money. I planned to save my money and buy a new thingy. A year past and I had enough money to buy it. I was so excited. I went to the doctor the next day and had the operation. My thing was eight feet long and wieghed two-hundred and sixty pounds. I loved it. When I turned six a lot happened. The next year when I turned seven I got my first girlfriend. We had lots of fun. She always played with me and treated me with respect until PETEY pocked her eye out. I knew it would happen some day. I got sued and PETEY got cut. It hurt me a lot to let PETEY go. We had became very attached. We always played jump rope and hide and go seek. PETEY was very good at that game. Well enough about my beautiful PETEY.PETEY PETEY PETEY PETEY PETEY PETEY PETEY PETEY PETEY PETEY PETEY PETEY. I turned eight, then nine, then ten, then the wonderful eleven. When I turned eleven I got back into the porn business. It had changed since when I began. You now had to be eighteen to get into it. This law confused me because I was only eleven. I was in many movies such as dog on the cob, get off my back, get that thing away from me, and pop that thing in my grandpa. I kept that job until I was fifteen. I now go to school in Brazil. I plan to be either a physicist or a Taco-Bell manager. I have my dreams set high. The day that I turned fifteen I realized that what I had been doing my whole life was very bad. I never knew that I was supposed to use toilet paper when I was done with my business. Well as I get older I will update this biography unless I die from one of the eighty STD's I have. BYE FOR NOW.. |
||||||