When father papered the parlour

Our parlour needed papering, and Pa says it was a waste
To call a paperhanger in, and so he made some paste.
He bought some rolls of paper, got a ladder and a brush
And with my mother’s nightgown on, at it he made a rush.

Chorus: When Father papered the parlour
You couldn't see far for paste
Dabbing it here! dabbing it there!
There was paste and paper everywhere
Mother was stuck to the ceiling
The kids were stuck to the floor
I never knew a blooming family so 'stuck up' before.

The pattern was 'blue roses' with its leaves red, white, and brown;
He'd stuck it wrong way up, and now we all walk upside down.
And when he trimm'd the edging off the paper with the shears,
The cat got underneath it, and he cut off both its ears.

Soon dad fell down the stairs and dropp'd his paperhanger's can
On little sister Suzy sitting there with her young man,
The paste stuck them together, as we thought t'would be for life,
We had to fetch the parson in to make them man and wife.

We're never going to move away from that house any more,
For Father's gone and stuck the chairs and table to the floor,
We can't find our piano, though it's broad and rather tall,
We think that it's behind the paper that Pa stuck on the wall.