| A drug/alcohol dependent person is one who is not easily helped. Many are not willing to give up a habit that makes them feel so good. A habit that has become one of their best and closest friends. A friend they can talk to, tell their problems to, and get comfort from. A friend they love and one who opens doors to other like minded friendships. In the early stages there may not be a strong addiction, but they are beginning to grow a new relationship just getting involved. They will be trying hard to avoid any legal complications, or confrontations with caring people around them who may want to talk about the problem they will not admit to. Then after awhile they themselves become aware that something is wrong. Family problems growing, school problems, employment problems, etc.etc. Then many will begin to accept help and encouragement from family and friends. Know one thing for sure, they have probably gone quite some time avoiding and denying, and playing with their best friend before they come to this place of willingness to receive help! How do we help them? That is what we want to share from our over 20 years of experience of working with drug or alcohol dependent people. We will share some basic ideas of what can be done .. Do you get the idea or have a feeling that your child or loved one is involved with drugs. Obviously you have seen something about their actions or the friends they have been hanging around with that has caused you to think that way or wonder. If you haven't red-handedly caught them they will probably not admit to using. Even if you find evidence in their room or pockets they will probably say its someone elses or come up with some other excuse. This is someone you love very much and your first feelings are probably of fear and worry that they will hurt themselves. This fear and worry that trouble will come to them also causes hurt in your heart. So all of a sudden we not only have to deal with our loved ones situation, but also with our own feelings and emotions. If we allow these feelings and emotions to drive us in dealing with this problem most of the time we will do or say the wrong thing, and may drive them further away from openness with us. Every family has a certain level of openness, love, ability to communicate, and trust between parents and children and or friends. This condition will have a great deal to do with why or how easy it is for a person to accept drugs into their lives, especially young people. Or how easy it is to communicate about these problems. I know there are the chosen few so to speak that are raised in good church going, up standing families, surrounded with love and care that end up a drug or alcohol dependent person. There are some, but a very small number of this kind compared to those not having the good family environment. If your a parent and have such a problem in your home you have to be very understanding of why or how this has happened. Realize that for a young person to have Godly and high quality principals for their life in this generation is not going to be easy unless there is a strong foundation of faith and good examples surrounding them. The Bible says to bring up a child in the way you want them to go and when they are old they will not depart from it. The temptations surrounding us these days require a strong foundation of love for God, for family, and for self in order to overcome. So if one falls who is close to us we need to understand clearly why, to be able to help them. The person needs someone with patience, understanding and love that can communicate in a way that will create a sense of openness and acceptance. Many times someone of the same age group with a positive, caring influence can be the best help and easiest to comminicate with. The person may need education concerning the dangers and laws that apply toward that kind of lifestyle. If the parent is not able to educate then it may be good to have a medical professional or someone who has appropriate knowledge who can help. If the person is not willing to make an effort to stop and change then it is better to back off and wait for them. Continue to show them that when they are ready you will be there to support them and help them reach their goal. It will be important to continually pray for them that God will help them and send someone into their life that will be able to help them change and to see clearly. Pray they will not be hurt phisically, mentally or be caught and put in jail. There are some cases we know, that because of the parents love and urgency to have their loved one change and or get out of the home, because of the pressures they cause, have made arrangements with police officials to have they get caught. These may be extreme cases, but some parents will do anything to get the problem out of the home or away from the influence in their lives thinking they will save them that way. The problem is that in jail the influence may be worse than on the outside. We don't recommend using this method because it also causes deep long lasting hurts between family relationships. From our experience if a person is to depend on their will power, education, or friends its usually not enough to help them overcome temptations or their addictions for very long. We always encourage establishing a personal experience and relationship with Jesus Christ. They always receive strength and faith to face their new life. Placing their attention on the Lord and not on their problem brings them to the place where they can receive what they need. Experiencing the presence and love of God on a daily basis will totally chnage ones life. Our prayer is that peace and joy in the love of God will fill your home. If you have any prayer requests, questions or comments we welcome your letters. God bless you! Frank & Annie Bartolatto Agape House Staff |
| How to help a Person with a Drug or Alcohol Problem. |