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The following stories, parables and anecdotes pertain to life. Some people see profound lessons in them, and are ‘enlightened’ by these seemingly simple stories, while others look upon them as silly nothings.
What do you make of them?
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“Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile!" - Anon
Everybody knows the meaning of a smile. It is a pleased or amused expression of the face, characterized by a raising up of the corners of the mouth.
Under certain emotional circumstances a human being will smile involuntarily. Indeed, there are times when a concerted effort must be made to suppress a smile. At other times, a definite and specific effort must be made to form a smile upon the countenance.
People smile for many reasons. Perhaps in admiration. Perhaps we smile in appreciation. Sometimes we smile in encouragement. Sometimes we smile of patience.
When we are subjected to the valley of shadows, as each of us inevitable must be, when all of our best efforts seem to fail, when our trusted friends fail us; when every impulse within us moves us to cry out in anger and protest, when it is so difficult to refrain from weeping, the supreme test is to force a smile. Then, a smile means ‘this, too, will pass away.’ It means that we have faith and confidence in ourselves, and we realize that each of us must experience both the pleasant and unpleasant, and that we should not add our burden to that of others. It is not easy! But it can be done. Each smile of strength is a great step forward on our path of life.
The epitome of all smiles is the smile of love. It is the most revealing; it is the easiest if sincere, it is the most needed smile in the world. It is the most disarming weapon in the world. Few can resist a genuine smile of love.
The smile of love is complex, for it embodies the mechanics of all smiles: admiration, appreciation, encouragement, patience, and strength. It is finished off with a distinctive glow that makes it unique and unmistakable. Whether it is directed outward singularly or collectively, it is all-powerful.
Extracted from an article by Chris R Warnken
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Life’s Little Instructions
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
Leave everything a little better than you found it.
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
Say “Thank you” and say “please” a lot.
Remember other people’s birthdays.
Strive for excellence, not perfection.
Be forgiving of yourself.
Keep it simple.
Be the first to say, “Hello” .
Don’t expect life to be fair.
Be there when people need you.
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Make new friends but cherish the old ones.
Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
Don’t be afraid to say, “I made a mistake” or “I don’t know” .
Count your blessings.
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A good book
A good movie
A good conversation
A picnic / barbecue
A day at the beach
Laughing at yourself
Road trips with friends
Swinging on swings
Walking in the rain
Being with the person you love
Laughing so hard your face hurts
Watching the sun rise/sunset
Taking a drive on a scenic road
Lying in bed listening to the rain outside
Watching someone’s face lit up with joy
Getting mail from friends and loved ones
Hearing your favourite song on the radio
Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep
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Two small boys were walking slowly, deep in conversation when they stopped to share an apple. “You cut and I’ll choose,” said one to the other. A penknife appeared, the cut was made and the choice decided. What a splendid way of ensuring an apple is equally shared! Perhaps this world could get along with fewer conferences and agreements, if only the powers that be had the simple solution that schoolboys worked out centuries ago.
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The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We learned how to make a living, but not a life; We’ve added years to life, not life to years.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour. We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space; we’ve have cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are the times of tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom.
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People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (any way); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
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There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is Yesterday with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said.. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow, with its possible adversaries, its burdens, its large and poor and performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendour or behind a mask of clouds - but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn.
This leaves only one day... Today. Any person can fight the battle of just one day. It is only when you and I add the Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives people mad - it is remorse or bitterness for something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.
Let us, therefore, live but one day at a time!
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The past is over. It is finished. It has brought you to where you are right now. You can learn much from it. You can carry its experiences with you always. Yet you cannot go back.
You cannot relive the past. You can do something much, much better. You can make your life from this point on the best that it can be.
Whether you long for the past or you regret every minute of it, the reality is that it’s over. That means you can take from the past whatever you wish to take, and move forward.
Today is a new day with even more possibilities than any day that you’ve ever known in the past. Today is your opportunity, here and now, real and ready.
If you think you’re too old or too late or too this or too that, you’re absolutely wrong. You're precisely in the right spot, at the right time, to make a real, positive difference in your life and in the world around you.
Today is the best opportunity anyone could ever imagine, because what you do with today is completely up to you.
Make it the best day ever.
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Life is in living. It is not a thing, it is a process. There is no way to attain to life except by living it, except by being alive, by flowing, streaming with it. If you are seeking the meaning of life in some dogma, in some philosophy, in some theology, that is the sure way to miss life and meaning both.
Life is not somewhere waiting for you, it is happening in you. It is not in the future as a goal to be arrived at, it is here now, this very moment - in your breathing, circulating in your blood, beating in your heart. Whatsoever you are is your life, and if you start seeking meaning somewhere else, you will miss it.
Man has done that for centuries. Concepts have become very important; explanations have become very important - and the real has been completely forgotten. We don't look to that which is already here; we want rationalizations.
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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be – your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.
The greatest achievement was at first, and for some time, a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the Soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.
Your circumstances may be uncongenial, but they shall not long remain so if you perceive an ideal and then strive to reach it. You cannot travel within and stand still without.
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Life is all about choices.
When we cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. We choose how we react to situations. We can choose to be in a good mood or we can choose to be in a bad mood.
Each time something bad happens, we can choose to be a victim or we can choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to us complaining, We can choose to accept their complaining or we can point out the positive side of life.
The bottom line is: It’s our choice how we live life. We could choose to live or we could choose to die.
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At the start of a relationship, we move through time in a cloud of joy thinking: I have finally find what I want. For a time the illusion of total unity can be sustained, but with increasing familiarity and complexities of daily life, differences emerge and grow. Aspects of the other person which were once invisible or over overlooked become obvious. Personality quirks that were once endearing become only tolerable, then annoying. At this point the infatuation is looked back upon with disdain because we chose the wrong person to become infatuated with. – Anon
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Not all wars are fought with guns and ammunition. All wars, however, are fought with thoughts and words, whether written or spoke. We are at war in our hearts long before we express it with arms. The place to abolish wars, then, is in your hearts. The politicians and soldiers only materialize or manifest the wars that already exist in their and our hearts.
If we must fight then let us fight with all our hearts and all of our might! Let us utterly destroy the enemy with vicious attack. Let us search and kill every true enemy, namely; hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness, vanity, covetousness, cruelty, and mistrust. These diabolical enemies are hiding now in your heart and in my heart and are so cleverly disguised! Once the are annihilates, we can invent our dream of peace. - Chris. R. Warnken.
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Curiosity
Curiosity appears to be an innate drive that causes the human to follow a certain course of action. Formal psychology prefers to avoid labelling curiosity an instinct. Humans and less evolved beings are drawn to that which is not only unusual, but particularly impelling in the attention it arouses. However, if it were not for curiosity, we would never solve the mysterious, nor would we ever fathom the unknown. Curiosity also provides a safety factor in that it usually is accompanied by caution. The stranger is commonly approached with a readiness to flee or to ward off possible danger.
But curiosity is not always accompanied by rationality. The exotic, the different, may attract, and, if there appears to be no cause for alarm, it is often accepted for what it appears to be. In this regard, many persons are drawn to the fanciful and become enmeshed in it, to their detriment.
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Failure doesn’t mean you are a failure; It means you have not yet succeeded.
Failure doesn’t mean you accomplished nothing, It means you have learned something.
Failure doesn’t mean you have been a fool. It means you had a lot of faith.
Failure doesn’t mean you've been disgraced. It means you were willing to try.
Failure doesn’t mean you don't have it. It means you have to do something in a different way.
Failure doesn’t mean you are inferior. It means you are not perfect.
Failure doesn’t mean you've wasted your life. It means you have a reason to start afresh.
Failure doesn’t mean you should give up. It means you must try harder.
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While it is true that one should not let fear hold him back from duties and useful actions, we must remember that fear is a natural instinct and as such, is bound to have useful functions for the preservation of species and individuals. To understand this, we enumerate some of the emotions belonging to the fear complex: caution, apprehension, sense of danger, fright, terror and panic.
All of these feelings may be displayed by a herd of gazelles or deer living in constant danger from the onslaught of fierce predations. Only speedy flight saves the herd from extinction. There, the smallest unusual noise makes the animals cautious; a faint smell of the predator causes apprehension; the loud roar of a lion means imminent danger and sends the entire herd into rapid flight. If, however, the aggressor is recognized as one who may be resisted, such as a coyote, a wolf, or a mountain lion, a dominant male may be aroused to fight rather than flight; the excitement of danger secretes adrenalin into its veins, readying it for either action.
When a powerful aggressor is in the midst of the herd, panic is dispersed through uncontrolled random flight. This reduces the density of the group and thus the danger to each individual. The old, sick, and feeble are most likely to be devoured, so that the average quality of the herd is improved by survival of the fittest.
Even paralysing terror has its value for survival. Many predators such as spiders, and some snakes, have poor eyesight and can notice only moving objects. A fly is safe from a spider as long as it remains immobile
Paralysing terror can save human lives at the onset of a severe heart attack. The pain of such an attack may be violent, but the chief terror of angina pectoris (literally ‘constriction of the chest,’) is the instinctive anticipation of suffocation or heart failure. Under such conditions, immobility may save a victim’s life by conserving the scant supply of blood and oxygen until emergency aid can be given.
On the other hand, many patients remain frightened long after the physical damage is repaired. They and other excessively tense people suffer angina spasms at every incident, be it severe or trivial, that triggers reactions of fear, frustration, or resentment. For such people, the instinctive fear reaction has lost its survival value and has turned into a dangerous burden. In these cases, the danger caused by fear is not external but psychosomatic. The anguish of angina is brought on less by the mental strain itself than by worrying about it.
He who has overcome instinctive fear, who remains calm and confident in the midst of difficulties and provocations, is well on the road to mastery. For such attainment, the pangs of angina itself are not too high a price to pay.
Extracted from the article The Dangers and Benefits of Fear by Walter Albershein
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Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).
What is this principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
How?
By your reaction. You cannot control a red light. However, you can control your reaction. YOU can control how you react.
Let us use an example:
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table.
A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit zone. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.
After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why?
Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A. Did the coffee cause it?
B. Did your daughter cause it?
C. Did the policeman cause it?
D. Did you cause it?
The answer is "D".
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel, you rush upstairs.
After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try to bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive.
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why are you stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90/10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. The 90/10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It CAN change your life!
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Watch where you are going
Setting clear objectives and directions could save you from potential pit falls.
Avoid rumour mongering
Loose lips sink ships and it could be the boat you are on.
Think positive
Work hard but work smart. Where possible delegate. Share your positivism, it’s contagious.
Give yourself some space
When you are up against the wall, stop. Take a deep breath or go for a walk. Some fresh air will do you a lot of good.
Break away from routines
Take a different road to work tomorrow. You never know what you may find.
Speak you mind
If you have something to say, say it. Keeping frustrations to yourself will do you more harm than good.
Relax. Put your feet up
Stop every now and then and smell the roses. Be proud of what you’ve done.
Free your mind
Think outside the box and you won’t paint yourself into a corner.
Multi task
Juggle your time well and you’d end up with enough time for both work and play.
Plan ahead
Learn form your mistakes. Make full use of what you have learnt to avoid going round in circles.
Chill out
When the pressure starts to rise, don’t get cooked. Let off some steam. Do something you enjoy.
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1. The Gift of Listening
Really listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listen.
2. The Gift of Affection
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let the small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.
3. The Gift of Laughter
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, “I love to laugh with you.”
4. The Gift of a Written Note
It can be simple. A “Thanks for the help” note or a full sonnet. A brief handwritten note may be remembered for a life time, and may even change a life.
5. The gift of a Compliment
A simple and sincere, “You look great in….,” “You did a super job” or “That was a wonderful meal”, can make someone’s day.
6. The Gift of a Favour
Everyday, go out of your way to do something kind.
7. The Gift of Solitude
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to these times and give the gift of solitude to others.
8. The Gift of a Cheerful Disposition
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really it’s not that hard to say “Hello”, or “Thank You.”
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