Disclaimer
Section 1
Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law.
For optimum performance and safety, please read these instructions carefully.
Void where prohibited. No representation or warranty, express or implied, with respect to the completeness, accuracy, fitness for a particular purpose, or utility of these materials or any information or opinion contained herein. Actual mileage may vary. Prices slightly higher west of the Mississippi. All models over 18 years of age. No animals were harmed during the production of this product. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or events, past, present or future, is purely coincidental. This product not to be construed as an endorsement of any product or company, nor as the adoption or promulgation of any guidelines, standards or recommendations. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Package sold by weight, not volume. Contents may settle during shipment. No user-serviceable parts inside. Use only as directed.
Do not eat. Not a toy.
Postage will be paid by addressee. If condition persists, consult your physician. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. One size fits all. Colors may, in time, fade. For office use only. Edited for television. List was current at time of printing. At participating locations only. Keep away from fire or flame. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitised for your protection. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of the dog. Limited time offer. No purchase necessary. Not recommended for children under 12. Prerecorded for this time zone. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for delivery. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Slippery when wet. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. For recreational use only. No Canadian coins. List each check separately by bank number. This is not an offer to sell securities.
Read at your own risk. Ask your doctor or pharmacist. Parental guidance advised. Always read the label. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Do not stamp. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Contains non-milk fat. Date as postmark. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Use only in well-ventilated area. Price does not include taxes. Not for resale. Hand wash only. Keep away from sunlight. For a limited time only. No preservatives or additives. Keep away from pets and small children. Safety goggles required during use. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Please remain seated until the web page has come to a complete stop. Refrigerate after opening. Flammable. Must be 18 years or older. Seat backs and tray tables must be in the upright position. Repeat as necessary. Do not look directly into light. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. No salt, MSG, artificial colouring or flavoring added. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid prolonged exposure to this product. If ingested, do not induce vomiting. May contain nuts. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Do not use if safety seal is broken.
Apply only to affected area. Do not use this product if you have high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, thyroid disease, asthma, glaucoma, or difficulty in urination. May be too intense for some viewers. In case of accidental ingestion, seek professional assistance or contact a poison control center immediately. Many suitcases look alike. Post office will not deliver without postage. Not the Beatles. Products are not authorized for use as critical components in life support devices or systems. Driver does not carry cash. Do not puncture or incinerate. Do not play your headset at high volume. Discontinue use of this product if any of the following occurs: itching, aching, vertigo, dizziness, ringing in your ears, vomiting, giddiness, aural or visual hallucinations, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, drowsiness, insomnia, profuse sweating, shivering, or heart palpitations. Video+ and Video- are at ECL voltage levels, HSYNC and VSYNC are at TTL voltage levels. It is a violation of federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling. Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling the contents can be harmful or fatal. This product has been shown to cause cancer in laboratory rats. Do not use the AC adaptor provided with this player for other products.
DO NOT DELETE THIS LINE -- make depend depends on it.
Warranty does not cover normal wear and tear, misuse, accident, lightning, flood, hail storm, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, avalanche, earthquake or tremor, hurricane, solar activity, meteorite strike, nearby supernova and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper or unauthorised use, incorrect line voltage, unauthorised use, unauthorised repair, improper installation, typographical errors, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, microwave ovens or mobile phones, sonic boom vibrations, ionising radiation, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, disk failure, accidental file deletions, mud slides, forest fire, riots or other civil unrest, acts of terrorism or war, whether declared or not, explosive devices or projectiles (which can include, but may not be limited to, arrows, crossbow bolts, air gun pellets, bullets, shot, cannon balls, BBs, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, ICBMs, or emissions of electromagnetic radiation such as radio waves, microwaves, infra-red radiation, visible light, UV, X-rays, alpha, beta and gamma rays, neutrons, neutrinos, positrons, N-rays, knives, stones, bricks, spit-wads, spears, javelins etc.).
Other restrictions may apply. Breach of these conditions is likely to cause unquantifiable loss that may not be capable of remedy by the payment of damages.
This supersedes all previous disclaimers
Entire contents (c) 1999 by Our Group, Inc. This disclaimer is protected by copyright and its use, copying, distribution and decompilation is restricted. All rights reserved. No part of this disclaimer or any attachments may be copied or reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, optical, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, telepathic, or otherwise, without the express witnessed and notarised prior written consent of the all holders of the relevant copyrights.
The information contained herein has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable. However, no warranty as to the accuracy, completeness or adequacy of such information is implied. No liability is accepted for errors, omissions or inadequacies in the information contained herein or for interpretations thereof. The reader assumes sole responsibility for the selection of these materials to achieve its intended results. The opinions expressed herein are subject to change without notice.
The information in this document and any attached files is strictly private and confidential and may also be privileged. It is intended solely for and should be read only by the individual(s) or organisation(s) to whom or which it is addressed. If you are not the intended recipient, or a person responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, notify the sender by return, delete the message, and destroy all copies of the email and associated files in your possession; you are not authorised to and must not disclose, copy, distribute, or retain this message or any part of it. It may contain information that is confidential and/or covered by legal professional or other privilege (or other rules or laws with similar effect in jurisdictions outside England and Wales).
We have an anti-virus system installed on all our PCs and therefore any files leaving us via email will have been checked for known viruses, but are not guaranteed to be virus free. We accept no responsibility once an email transmission and any attachments have left us.
No part of this message is intended to form any part of any contract. The views expressed in this message are not necessarily the views of my employer, and the company, its directors, officers or employees make no representation or accept any liability for its accuracy or completeness, unless expressly stated to the contrary. This message is not intended to be relied upon without subsequent written confirmation of its contents. This company therefore shall not accept any liability of any kind which may arise from any person acting upon the contents of this message without having had written confirmation.
This document originates from the Internet, and therefore may not be from the alleged source. If you have any doubts about the origin or content of this document please contact our Support Desk.
Section 2
Do Not Fend, Mold, Bindle or Sputilate
Not for use in hot tubs. This product is meant for educational purposes only as students are trapped in classes and can't escape. Any resemblance to real, artificial or simulated persons, living or dead, will be news to us. No living animals were harmed in the filming of this book. May arrive in pieces, some assembly required. Dead batteries included. Use only as directed, and we direct you not to use it. No warranty expressed or even gently squeezed. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment, which suggests a poor future for laptop-based digital maps. Postage will be paid by addressee, and will he ever be surprised. This is not an offer to sell securities, but we certainly hope that won't stop you. Apply only to affected area, but if that looks strange to you, you can apply it to the effected area, too. May be too intense for some viewers, not intense enough for others. Do not stamp, but if you must, stamp gently in your bare feet. Beware of low flying aircraft, even if we can't think of any practical thing to do if you happen to see some. Print or type, or have your mother fill it in. For recreational use only as we don't want you to think we're serious. Do not disturb us any further or they will let us out. All models swear they are over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician, he needs the work. No user serviceable parts inside; we throw it away and start over. Freshest if eaten before date on carton, which doubles as an appetizer. Subject to change without official notice, or even unofficial notice; we're winging it. Times approximate after 23:59, Dec. 31, 1999. Simulated picture; your new TV should look almost as good. No postage necessary if hand delivered. Please remain seated until the captain replaces the light in the overhead sign. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement; we'll send a collection agent over immediately. For off-road use only; they'd be nuts to let these loose on the streets. As seen on TV, to the left of the cable box. One size fits all, poorly. Many suitcases look alike, though some look that way uniquely. 100% virgin plastic, and stop snickering. Contents may run if washed in hot water, may crawl if washed in cold water. We have sent the forms which your ex-spouse recommended. Slippery when wet, abrasive when dry. For office use only (we write the football pool numbers in that space). Drop in any mailbox and you'll find it cramped. Edited for television by inserting commercials every 10 minutes and chopping off the sides. Keep cool and dry; live on Mars. Post office will not deliver without postage, obstetricians will not deliver without payment. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward -- keep it, we're sick of it. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages, though we do retain rights to any profits you might make. At participating locations only, if you can find them. Penalty for private use, which differs from general use. Follow all directions on the label, and yes, that means wake up at 2 a.m. and take another one. Substantial withdrawal for early penalty. Do not write below this line, and no coffee stains, either. Falling rock, the lesser Frank Lloyd Wright model home. Lost ticket pays maximum rate, which offers better odds than Lotto. Your canceled check is your receipt, fat lot of good it will do you. Place stamp here, not there. Avoid contact with skin: levitate. Sanitized for your protection using portable autoclaves. Be sure each item is properly endorsed by a major political party. Your signature is not an admission of guilt, though we'll try and convince the jury otherwise. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi, much higher west of Texas, practically below sea level in Florida. Employees, their families, and any others who might actually care are not eligible. Beware of dog poop. Limited time offer, operators are standing by waiting for their chairs to be delivered. You must be present to win, and you must win to be invited. No passes accepted for this engagement, but the elopement is free. No purchase necessary means it is necessary not to purchase. Processed at URL stamped in code at top of carton. Use only in a well-ventilated area near an emergency room. Keep away from fire or flames or nuclear detonations. Replace with same PostScript type. Look for the union label; it shows the best workmanship. Your contribution may be tax deductible if they don't audit. Some equipment shown is optional, some hasn't even been manufactured, many pieces are plastic simulations. Price does not include tax, title, shipping or content. No Canadian coins except those nifty gold dollars. Not recommended for children of taste. Prerecorded for this time zone by beings from the future. Reproduction strictly prohibited, yet it hasn't prevented population growth. No alcohol, dogs, children or loud shirts. No anchovies that you'll ever be able to detect. Specially packaged for this restaurant by someone with a bottling plant. Absolutely no one will be admitted after start of show if all the seats are filled. Call this toll free number before you dig a hole and trigger a regional blackout. Driver does not carry cash so loan him a quarter if he runs out of gas. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear, and have big teeth, too. Do not fend, mold, bindle or sputilate. No transfers issued if the server on the other end is busy. Package sold by weight, not by wait. Your mileage may vary if you drive to different places. If any part of this agreement is held to be unenforceable, we'll keep printing it, anyway, since you probably won't find out. Conflicts may have settled during strike. Void where prohibited, taxed, or when your bladder is full. If you do not accept the terms of this agreement you've just wasted several minutes.
Section 1 has been plagerized without permission borrowed as a service message and to preserve the internet from http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/joke/disclaim.htm
Section 2 has been plagerized without permission borrowed as a service message and to preserve the internet from http://www.wap.org/disclaimer.html