1. Never use YOU.
     Always use I.

2. The word is BECAUSE,
     not CAUSE.

3. A lot of people wrote about liking family and religion because they were good.  That may be true, but you need to be specific, tell me WHY family and/or religion is important to you:
      Three things religion
           has done for you
 

       Three ways your
             family helped you

       3 people in your
             church or family
             who you admire.

4. PROVE IT:
         Which sentence is better?

         "If I get a test in math, I will most likely get A or B."
                      or
         "On my last six math tests, I got 4 A's and two B's."

5. ILLUSTRATE:
    Which is better:

           "When I have a problem I can get help from my friend."
                      or
             "Last week, I felt really bad about that math test, but my friend, Marsha, told me it wasn't the end of the world, so we had a couple of milk shakes and I felt a lot better."

6. INC incomplete sentence
        "A heart for love" is
         NOT a sentence.  It needs
         a verb: "A heart is for
          Love."

7. R/O run-on sentences
           "I chose the heart, it
           stands for love." is two
           sentences jammed into
            one.  A comma is NOT
            a conjunction.