I have created this page as my little page of cyber space.  This page is exclusively about me and my life's challenges.  There have been a few challenges in my life, and I wish to share with you my ups and downs.  So here we go.

Let me start from the beginning.  My father died in a tractor-trailer accident when I was 4months old.  When I was a year old, my mother and I moved over the mountain to this area, in which we reside now.  My step father owned his own monument business and provided me with a good home.  He had 2 children living at home as well.  His wife had died a year or so earlier and so it seemed like a great fit with my mother and I moving in.  His son at that time was 18 or so and the daughter was around 14.

I was pretty much brought up a spoiled brat, and got what I wanted when I asked for it.  My parents busy with the business, didn't attend school functions, games, or concerts.  When I turned sixteen I got a car, and during these high school years I was a pretty straight arrow.  Didn't skip school, got good grades, and was home every night.  My rebellion didn't start till I was out of high school.
 

Let's jump ahead a little bit.  In 1991, I met Mike and it all went to hell in a hand basket from there. I fell in love from the start.  My first boyfriend, the first guy who even looked at me that way, and I was head over heals infatuated.    I was seeing him about 8 months and my savings account had been drained.  He was going through money like it was going out of style.  I had become distant from my parents and grew more and more closer to his.  I didn't realize it at the time, but he drew me in hook, line and sinker.

Around September of 1991, I left home and moved in with him and his family.  We lived there about 4 months, and things started to change.  It was becoming more violent and abuse, verbally and physically.  I didn't dare call my mother, cause I knew an "I told you so" speech would be the result.  Mike had me at the point that I depended on him, for everything.  I was at that time afraid of being alone, and that noone else would care about me like he did.  I didn't know this then, and just thought he loved me so much, he couldn't lose me.  He made me feel so guilty and that I was at fault. 

Around this same time he got a girlfriend, although I didn't know it.  Being the fool that I was, I didn't see it coming.  I was so "in love" with him, I had those colored glasses on, and didn't even realize what was going on.

We moved out of the apartment and moved in with a friend for a while.  These two hung around together and we spent most of our time with Scott.  Needless to say, I was the one to find another infatuation, Scott.  Scott and I had been friends for quite a few years prior to this, and I always had a crush on him.  This living situation brought this more and more to the surface.  He knew it and I knew it, but at the time Scott was seeing my best friend, and I couldn't do that to her.  By now the money was dwindling from my parents, and we were living off someone else.  This was not good.  But I loved Mike and we only needed each other.  Although he always had money, and I always wondered where he got it from.  I guess his girlfriend kept him in the money for a while.
 

Mike's parents had built a new home, and we moved back in with them.  This was around the spring of 1992, and Mike's grandfather's passing away did not sit well with Mike.  He took it very hard and needed me know more then ever.  The abuse continued, and the physical was getting a little better.  In September of that year my girlfriend and I rented an apartment together.  That didn't last long.  By November, Mike and I were living with my parents.  Needless to say they were not thrilled.  My father had decided to purchase a property for us around Thanksgiving.  Mike and I moved into the new house soon after New Years.

Mike was pretty much not at home other to sleep and shower.  During this whole time he was seeing this other girl, and I didn't know it or just didn't care.  Because by now, we were fighting all the time.  And physical fights. 

My girlfriend had picked me up one night and we went to the town where Mike hung out.  He didn't know I was coming to town, hell neither did I. 

Everyone in town knew who I was, and they just had to tell me where he was.  I could tell they were bursting at the seams to rat on him.  So we took a posse of guys with us, because we knew that it was going to violent, and my friends were not about to see me get hurt.  Although they were concerned about me, at that time they should of been concerned about Mike.

Well, we found him and his girlfriend in his favorite spot, and one of the guys chased him in the car for a while till he caught up to Mike.  One of the other guys stayed with me in case Mike doubled back.  My girlfriend went after the girlfriend.  Well, let's just say it wasn't a fair fight.  Mke's "girlfriend" didn't look to good for about a week or so.  When Mike and the other guy came back, Mike was upset to say the least.  There wasn't much he could do, there were about 8 guys with me and he didn't like the odds against him.

I must say this, the whole time I was with Mike, it might have been the best and worsest 3 years of my life.  I had so much fun and excitement for those 3 years, and then on the flip side I had been in a very abuse relationship.
 

After the big blow up with the girlfriend, and Mike moved out of the house, I started to get harassing phone calls. I knew it was Mike but I had no proof.  Mike finally left a message on my answering machine and I got him charge with harassment.  Around the same time I started seeing my best friend's brother, Brian.  Mike had moved out in March of 1994 and Brian moved in at the end of April of the same year.

We had problem with Mike and his girlfriend for quite a few months after that.  We were in and out of district court for some reason or another.  I just wanted it to be over.  I spent a 3 years of my life crying over this guy, only to have my heart broken.  I just wanted to put it behind me and start a new life with Brian.

Over the past 3 years from 1991 to 1994, I had been put through verbal, emotional, and physical abuse from this guy, and the scars are still very much apparent.  I have put up such a wall in front of me, because I don't want it to happen to me again with someone else.  I know, because I do the same thing with Brian.  And I had in the beginning of our relationship, cause he called me on it.  I knew what I was doing and I just started the fights because it was what I knew.  Fighting for 3 years, and to jump right into another relationship was hard.  It was hard not to compare the two, to do the same things, it was hard to break free from the life of the previous relationship.

Brian stuck with it though, and after a while I finally broken down that wall of guilt, anger and hurt.  It was hard, and I was glad that Brian was there to rescue me.  I don't know where I would be without him.
 

Brian and I were married on July 29, 1995.  We haven't heard from Mike.  We had heard from friends was that he was in jail for bouncing checks and fraud.  But more recently we had heard that he was again living in the area.  His wife, then girlfriend was living with him and their 2 children.  Mike keeps his distance from us, and we hope it stays that way.

Brian and I have a life together here and we do not want anything to ruin what we have.  We are happy and we enjoy what we have.  We don't dwell on what could of been and the past.  We have moved on.

I have moved on.
 

Please feel free to email me, and please sign my guestbook before you go.  Thank you for visitng and I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay.